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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>My 3 Year Old Is Ruining My Tours
trix23 08:01 PM 04-01-2017
My 3 year old son is usually so unruly during tours that I cannot hardly talk with the parents and then he will be taking toys, being pushy, screaming, rambunctious, and then if we go outside for a short time then head back in I have to sometimes literally chase him (while holding our 6 month baby) and grab him by the hand, then he starts to hit me with his fists and scratch me on purpose!!

Help!!
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Unregistered 08:47 PM 04-01-2017
Ummm...... no way in hell would I be letting my own child disrespect me like that. He would be sitting in time out after a spanking. Hitting, scratching, no way would I be allowing that. How do the other kids behave? I'd be concerned that if they see your child behaving in this matter then they'll think this is acceptable.
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e.j. 09:23 PM 04-01-2017
When my kids were young, I always scheduled interviews at night or on weekends so my husband would be home to watch them. Sometimes he'd bring them out somewhere but often would just keep them occupied and quiet upstairs while I spoke with potential clients downstairs. Do you have someone who could watch the kids while you conduct interviews?
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trix23 03:47 AM 04-02-2017
To Unregistered: how would it make sense to tell my child not to hit/scratch while I spank him?! Spanking is hitting and doesn't work.

And to anyone that does daycare, they know that kids act crazy and wild at drop-off and pick-up times and around new parents. He's not normally like this - usually pretty mellow and sweet and an energy ball sometimes. They always seem to misbehave at the worst times. I don't judge their kids too much because I know this too.

My hubby gets home from work at 8pm most nights and works weekends too. He has off Tues Weds though.
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trix23 03:50 AM 04-02-2017
The other kids in care are fairly good- one 4 year old doesn't listen because she gets herc way at home and tries to talk her way out of things, but that doesn't work on me.
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childcaremom 06:45 AM 04-02-2017
Originally Posted by e.j.:
When my kids were young, I always scheduled interviews at night or on weekends so my husband would be home to watch them. Sometimes he'd bring them out somewhere but often would just keep them occupied and quiet upstairs while I spoke with potential clients downstairs. Do you have someone who could watch the kids while you conduct interviews?
This is what I would do, as well. Schedule the interviews during a time when you have someone available to watch your own. It will relieve stress on your part and give you an opportunity to go through all areas of discussion that you need to cover, without interruptions.
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racemom 07:21 AM 04-02-2017
Have you tried talking to him about it? Tell him your expectations of him before the tour, remind him right before they get there, and if he starts to act up during give him another reminder. If he does well, after the tour praise him for being a big boy and doing such a great job helping, if he acts up, tell him you are disappointed that he forgot to be a big boy. Make a big deal out of how sad you are that he wasn't your helper during the tour.
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Pestle 08:19 AM 04-02-2017
My 4yo climbs up the parents and pokes the kids. I'm not scheduling any interviews for a time that nobody's available to watch my kid. Gosh. It looks so bad when your own child is out of control.
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finsup 11:14 AM 04-02-2017
I only schedule interviews when my husband can take the kids. Trying to talk with parents when you've got a 5 and almost 3 asking them more questions then I do, and an 18m old who likes to bite, yeah, my focus becomes more on my kids then getting to know the potential family.
But if you have to interview with your child, I'd do something like play-doh, coloring etc. Something that's a sit down activity that keeps his interest. I'd just let him know that a family is coming over to talk with you, and during this time he needs to remain at the table. Do any outside part at the end, so he'll be able to run/play etc while you finish up. I would make it VERY clear what the consequence would be for acting out and follow through on it. I'd have zero problems putting a kiddo in time out during an interview if needed. I would want parents to know i wouldn't allow those behaviors from my kids, or there's. But yeah, I prefer to avoid all of this and just schedule interviews after 5 or on weekends. Stinks to have to work when your closed...But...For me, it's easier.
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daycare 12:34 PM 04-02-2017
First off hugs. I think we can all relate. By that time, our kids want nothing to do with sharing their mom, house or toys.

I would do as others suggested and only schedule when it works for someone to watch him.

My son punched a kid once when he was about 3, I told the parents that he was just over being restricted to daycare rules at that time and this was why it was so important everyone respected my closing time because my kids need me too. They may not understand, but our kids do have it the hardest.
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Blackcat31 10:07 AM 04-03-2017
Can you maybe give him some responsibility during tours?

For example you could put him in charge of showing the family where the toys are kept or how you wash your hands. I'd see if maybe you can give him a list of "chores" or jobs that he can do during the tour so that he feels important and part of the tour.

In his eyes, he just sees his mom occupied by someone other than him and he is trying to get that attention back. Perhaps making him part of the tour process and/or responsible for parts of it will help him understand more what you are doing and what your expectations are of him during these tours.
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Ariana 10:48 AM 04-03-2017
I definitely only do interviews/tours outside of daycare hours for this very reason! If there is ever a time that the kids would get into a full out brawl and poke eachother with knives it would be during a parent tour
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CityGarden 11:34 AM 04-03-2017
I do not even do tours with my school age child at home... my dd may mean well but she tries to answer prospective parent questions before I can and it comes off rude and annoying IMHO.

I suggesting doing tours in the while your dh is home and can take your ds elsewhere. I have done them on holidays when my program was closed or on the weekend when my dd was with a friend, etc.

I am trying a tour this week when I first open during morning drop off.... another provider suggested it. She said her numbers are smaller when she just opens and she likes that prospective parents can see other parents in passing at that time. She also found drop off works for working parents as well as SAHMs. If your DH is working until 8pm I assume he goes in later so maybe morning drop off tours could work for you...?
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trix23 03:01 PM 04-03-2017
I wouldn't have much luck with him waking up early enough to do that, haha. But all good ideas. I think that the problem is that I haven't been telling him what's going on so just people just show up and supposedly on an ounce and then they have my undivided attention. I didn't really think of telling him to them then they're here but I could definitely be part of it but he's trying to get attention from me and going about it all the wrong way. I have tried sometimes to have him show the kids the sandbox or the toys or something but he's just so excited to have people over that he doesn't know that his emotions just make his brain go away for a little while and he just goes crazy. He's a good kid but sometimes his excitement gets the better of him.
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Blackcat31 03:17 PM 04-03-2017
Originally Posted by trix23:
I wouldn't have much luck with him waking up early enough to do that, haha. But all good ideas. I think that the problem is that I haven't been telling him what's going on so just people just show up and supposedly on an ounce and then they have my undivided attention. I didn't really think of telling him to them then they're here but I could definitely be part of it but he's trying to get attention from me and going about it all the wrong way. I have tried sometimes to have him show the kids the sandbox or the toys or something but he's just so excited to have people over that he doesn't know that his emotions just make his brain go away for a little while and he just goes crazy. He's a good kid but sometimes his excitement gets the better of him.
Practice then.... set up mock tour (friends, family or neighbors etc) and have a 'pretend' tour.

That way you can pause and correct him when he misbehaves and pause or stop to praise or reward him for what he IS doing right.

Kids learn best when they know the expectations ahead of time, when they are dealing with an experience they are familiar with and via routine routine routine and of course practice!
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Tags:center brats, discipline - consistency, parenting styles, providers own child, providers own children, tours, unruly child
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