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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>What Happened To Self-Help Skills?????
MissAnn 08:48 AM 07-22-2017
They are gone! MIA!

New kids.....wow! Where are the self help skills at 3!?!?!

3 new 3 year olds. None are potty trained. None can pull up panties let alone put their pants or shoes on. Can't put themselves on the toilet either. 1 walks in with a paci in her mouth and another in her hand.....well, until I said no more.

We are in full fledged self help training. Step by step instructions how to put on socks, shoes, panties, pants, eating with utensils, drinking from an open cup, scoot your chair in and so much more.

It wasn't like this a few years ago!!!!! I am totally honest with parents. They are instructed not to help put on or take off shoes at arrival/departure. Paci's cannot come here.....yes at 3 years old!!!!!!! If your kid goes home with inside out panties.... congratulate her for putting them on herself! Same with inside out or backwards pants.

What has happened? iPads, busy parents, too much tv........ honestly I think we should raise our rates tremendously for all of the extra work required to bring these kids up to speed! Also extra fees for trying to train the parents!
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knoxmomof2 08:57 AM 07-22-2017
Regardless of age, that is what I always anticipate with a new child : self-help and self-entertainment skills. I also "enjoy" every Monday when I have to reteach the 3.5 year old to play with one toy set at a time and clean up between them.

To be honest though, my own 2 are teens. DS was in special needs preschool. I'm not so sure he was any better. We're expecting baby #3 in November and this kid will have self-help skills! 😁 lol...
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Ariana 07:53 PM 07-22-2017
Yes I am finding more and more kids are helpless from helicoptor parenting.

One of my 17 month olds got a small sticker stuck to his finger and rather than use his other hand to take it off he wailed and cried looking to me for help. I finally had to go and show him how to use his other hand to pull it off. I was in complete disbelief at how helpless this kid is!
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BumbleBee 08:08 PM 07-22-2017
yup. My daycare kids run the length of self help skills from independent to no self help skills at all. Ironically the ones who've been here from young infancy are the most advanced with self help skills. I don't think that's a coincidence!
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flying_babyb 08:27 PM 07-22-2017
yep!! I got two year olds who are still clueless on silverware use, how to sit for the WHOLE meal and how to wash hands.
this two year old cries if we ask her to sit at the table and wait while her friends finish. by the time shes done eating (ok crying while ocationally nibbling) she has to wait maybe 5 minutes before we all get up to wash!
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AmyKidsCo 02:18 PM 07-25-2017
Many parents want their kids to need them more than they want them to be independent. Co-dependency at its finest.

I raised my kids to be independent because I want them to move out and live their own lives some day. Heck, some day I expect they'll be taking care of me - they'd better know what they're doing!
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Cat Herder 10:46 AM 07-26-2017
"What has happened?"

I say it is a pendulum swing from the "free-range", "latch-key", "sink or swim" generation wanting a different kind of childhood for their children.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 12:04 PM 07-26-2017
It's crazy. I have an almost 4-year-old who is new who could not put on his shoes.
I'm always shocked at almost 3's who can't but this took the cake this month.

So much coddling...
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Lil_Diddle 08:50 PM 07-26-2017
I've been feeling the same thing lately, I've never had so many three year olds that aren't potty trained. I have one that I can rarely get to eat. DCM says well sometimes if I cut his bread just so, or literally feed him the bite. Seriously, no. He had been doing better since he enrolled last August, but now that his sister has been here for the summer he is regressing. I have another one that refuses to turn the water on to wash his hands. I've showed him numerous times how to pull the handles, my own younger son can do it. But he puts his hands on the handle and whines. Finally another one who is actually very independent, was ready to potty train in December but mom always has an excuse to why she's not ready to start at home. The child now has really regressed, so I don't put much effort into it now that it's not being reciprocated at home. That same DCG mom told me when she was one that they are taking away the binky. So I did it here cold turkey. First few days were rough and then she never asked for it again. Last year when she was two I seen a photo of her with a binky in her mouth. Her aunt, a close friend told me that they never stopped giving it to her and she has it all the time at home. Now she is three and the DCG laughs and tells me that her binkies are in the car. Mom knows I know and is totally embarrassed when the subject comes up. The girl has not asked for her binky here for two years
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EntropyControlSpecialist 06:55 AM 07-27-2017
Originally Posted by Lil_Diddle:
I've been feeling the same thing lately, I've never had so many three year olds that aren't potty trained. I have one that I can rarely get to eat. DCM says well sometimes if I cut his bread just so, or literally feed him the bite. Seriously, no. He had been doing better since he enrolled last August, but now that his sister has been here for the summer he is regressing. I have another one that refuses to turn the water on to wash his hands. I've showed him numerous times how to pull the handles, my own younger son can do it. But he puts his hands on the handle and whines. Finally another one who is actually very independent, was ready to potty train in December but mom always has an excuse to why she's not ready to start at home. The child now has really regressed, so I don't put much effort into it now that it's not being reciprocated at home. That same DCG mom told me when she was one that they are taking away the binky. So I did it here cold turkey. First few days were rough and then she never asked for it again. Last year when she was two I seen a photo of her with a binky in her mouth. Her aunt, a close friend told me that they never stopped giving it to her and she has it all the time at home. Now she is three and the DCG laughs and tells me that her binkies are in the car. Mom knows I know and is totally embarrassed when the subject comes up. The girl has not asked for her binky here for two years
I have a past child who is now 6 who still has a pacifier...
Love the family. But, it's quite shocking.
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Tags:learned helplessness, parenting styles, self help
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