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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>To Tell or Not
finsup 07:39 AM 10-02-2017
So I'm 5w4d pregnant and have a new family who just started with me last month. I thought I could get the first two prenatal appointments done this week and next (they are off today, and leave early thursday, then on vacation next week) to be able to have at least one ultrasound before telling them.
Silly me to think my doctors office would work with this
Lab tech isn't there today, and leaving early on Thursday. So I've got an appointment on Wednesday. Dcf doesn't know yet and I really don't want to have to close early, on two days notice, for no real reason that they know of. But it's early to tell them too...I can bring dcb, I really don't mind and was planning to offer it anyways for other appointments (he's 3m, in a carrier and super easy, taking him is no problem) so maybe I should just tell them and get it over with? I suppose it would be easier then coming up with different reasons for closing early etc. I've been hesitant just because if they pull, that's a lot of income lost early on. Which would kind of stink. Ugh...what to do...
Silly me to think my doctors office would work with this
Lab tech isn't there today, and leaving early on Thursday. So I've got an appointment on Wednesday. Dcf doesn't know yet and I really don't want to have to close early, on two days notice, for no real reason that they know of. But it's early to tell them too...I can bring dcb, I really don't mind and was planning to offer it anyways for other appointments (he's 3m, in a carrier and super easy, taking him is no problem) so maybe I should just tell them and get it over with? I suppose it would be easier then coming up with different reasons for closing early etc. I've been hesitant just because if they pull, that's a lot of income lost early on. Which would kind of stink. Ugh...what to do...
TheMisplacedMidwestMom 07:45 AM 10-02-2017
Just tell them you need labs drawn. There are many reasons for having labs done. They don't need to know why just yet.
storybookending 07:58 AM 10-02-2017
Originally Posted by TheMisplacedMidwestMom:
Just tell them you need labs drawn. There are many reasons for having labs done. They don't need to know why just yet.
I would do this. Do you have other daycare families? Have you told them yet? I wouldn't tell them until you can tell them a concrete plan on your time off. How much you're planning on taking etc. Give them as much piece of mind about it as possible so there are no questions left and they aren't feeling like they are going to lose care. Then spin that your kids will be close in age since their child is so young. Just tell them you need labs drawn. There are many reasons for having labs done. They don't need to know why just yet.
Crazy that you can even get in so soon. That is not how things are here. When my SIL found out she was pregnant she called and they said they won't see anyone before 12 weeks unless they've miscarried in the past or have another pressing health matter.
finsup 08:07 AM 10-02-2017
Originally Posted by storybookending:
I would do this. Do you have other daycare families? Have you told them yet? I wouldn't tell them until you can tell them a concrete plan on your time off. How much you're planning on taking etc. Give them as much piece of mind about it as possible so there are no questions left and they aren't feeling like they are going to lose care. Then spin that your kids will be close in age since their child is so young.
Crazy that you can even get in so soon. That is not how things are here. When my SIL found out she was pregnant she called and they said they won't see anyone before 12 weeks unless they've miscarried in the past or have another pressing health matter.
They are my only family at the moment. I had one that was supposed to start in December but he passed away I would do this. Do you have other daycare families? Have you told them yet? I wouldn't tell them until you can tell them a concrete plan on your time off. How much you're planning on taking etc. Give them as much piece of mind about it as possible so there are no questions left and they aren't feeling like they are going to lose care. Then spin that your kids will be close in age since their child is so young.
Crazy that you can even get in so soon. That is not how things are here. When my SIL found out she was pregnant she called and they said they won't see anyone before 12 weeks unless they've miscarried in the past or have another pressing health matter.
I'm not sure if I will fill the spot or not. But that's a whole different discussion lol. As for time off etc, I know my plan. Prenatals I can take him to, or will be able to give them a schedule way in advance (my office will schedule like the whole thing up front lol). The birth will be a c section, scheduled for the 39th week and I take two weeks off after that. This is the third baby I've had in daycare so it's not new to me, just to them 
Yeah, my office is a little different. Wednesday they just make me go I to do a pregnancy test in the office. Because you know, the 10 I've taken are wrong
Once they do that, the schedule an intake appointment (lots of questions, and blood work) and a viability ultrasound in the 6-7 week range. I'm not sure if that is standard or because I had a miscarriage between my first and second baby. But yeah, it's a lot of early appointments :/
Blackcat31 08:12 AM 10-02-2017
Honestly, I don't feel you should have to say anything in regards to why you are closing early. You have a life and not every aspect of it has to be transparent to clients.
I would simply say something came up and you will need to close early. Apologize for the short notice and leave it at that.
Life happens.
Tell when you are ready to tell.
I would simply say something came up and you will need to close early. Apologize for the short notice and leave it at that.
Life happens.
Tell when you are ready to tell.
LysesKids 08:20 AM 10-02-2017
Originally Posted by storybookending:
I would do this. Do you have other daycare families? Have you told them yet? I wouldn't tell them until you can tell them a concrete plan on your time off. How much you're planning on taking etc. Give them as much piece of mind about it as possible so there are no questions left and they aren't feeling like they are going to lose care. Then spin that your kids will be close in age since their child is so young.
Crazy that you can even get in so soon. That is not how things are here. When my SIL found out she was pregnant she called and they said they won't see anyone before 12 weeks unless they've miscarried in the past or have another pressing health matter.
I was high risk 1st preg (almost lost him at 5 months, delivered at 7 months)... and yes, each one after that too. I wasn't doing daycare at the time, but started soon after # 3 due to the death of my better half; I would let parents know labs need to be done and say nothing otherwise until after the outcome.I would do this. Do you have other daycare families? Have you told them yet? I wouldn't tell them until you can tell them a concrete plan on your time off. How much you're planning on taking etc. Give them as much piece of mind about it as possible so there are no questions left and they aren't feeling like they are going to lose care. Then spin that your kids will be close in age since their child is so young.
Crazy that you can even get in so soon. That is not how things are here. When my SIL found out she was pregnant she called and they said they won't see anyone before 12 weeks unless they've miscarried in the past or have another pressing health matter.
storybookending 08:33 AM 10-02-2017
Originally Posted by finsup:
They are my only family at the moment. I had one that was supposed to start in December but he passed away I'm not sure if I will fill the spot or not. But that's a whole different discussion lol. As for time off etc, I know my plan. Prenatals I can take him to, or will be able to give them a schedule way in advance (my office will schedule like the whole thing up front lol). The birth will be a c section, scheduled for the 39th week and I take two weeks off after that. This is the third baby I've had in daycare so it's not new to me, just to them
Yeah, my office is a little different. Wednesday they just make me go I to do a pregnancy test in the office. Because you know, the 10 I've taken are wrong Once they do that, the schedule an intake appointment (lots of questions, and blood work) and a viability ultrasound in the 6-7 week range. I'm not sure if that is standard or because I had a miscarriage between my first and second baby. But yeah, it's a lot of early appointments :/
Then I wouldn't tell them until you start showing/are ready to tell. This isn't your first rodeo, so to speak. If they gave the okay for transport and your comfortable taking him with I'd just say it's general labs.They are my only family at the moment. I had one that was supposed to start in December but he passed away
I'm not sure if I will fill the spot or not. But that's a whole different discussion lol. As for time off etc, I know my plan. Prenatals I can take him to, or will be able to give them a schedule way in advance (my office will schedule like the whole thing up front lol). The birth will be a c section, scheduled for the 39th week and I take two weeks off after that. This is the third baby I've had in daycare so it's not new to me, just to them Yeah, my office is a little different. Wednesday they just make me go I to do a pregnancy test in the office. Because you know, the 10 I've taken are wrong
Once they do that, the schedule an intake appointment (lots of questions, and blood work) and a viability ultrasound in the 6-7 week range. I'm not sure if that is standard or because I had a miscarriage between my first and second baby. But yeah, it's a lot of early appointments :/
Mom2Two 02:44 PM 10-02-2017
Originally Posted by TheMisplacedMidwestMom:
Just tell them you need labs drawn. There are many reasons for having labs done. They don't need to know why just yet.
IMO they don't even need to know "labs drawn." Just say doctor's appointment. You can just say "don't worry, I'm not sick, I just need a check up" or "a follow up visit." Or even just "I have an appointment."Just tell them you need labs drawn. There are many reasons for having labs done. They don't need to know why just yet.
So many things can happen with a pregnancy. It seems pretty common to not announce til 12 weeks.
finsup 05:33 PM 10-02-2017
Originally Posted by Mom2Two:
IMO they don't even need to know "labs drawn." Just say doctor's appointment. You can just say "don't worry, I'm not sick, I just need a check up" or "a follow up visit." Or even just "I have an appointment."
So many things can happen with a pregnancy. It seems pretty common to not announce til 12 weeks.
Funny thing is this is the longest I've waited to annouce lol. Right now a handful of people know but generally once I get a positive test, everyone knows haha. When I miscarried before, it was hard to tell everyone but I was so, so, thankful for the support I got. It's why I continued to tell early, even if something goes wrong, I am thankful for the support. IMO they don't even need to know "labs drawn." Just say doctor's appointment. You can just say "don't worry, I'm not sick, I just need a check up" or "a follow up visit." Or even just "I have an appointment."
So many things can happen with a pregnancy. It seems pretty common to not announce til 12 weeks.
If they had been enrolled longer, it would be easier. I really try to have at least 3 months with no "interruption" to the schedule with new families, just to establish what's "normal" and so when I do need to take a day, they know it's not common. But this time, well, it is what it is I suppose lol.
finsup 08:44 AM 10-03-2017
So...I told them lol. It was just causing a lot of anexity for me so I just decided screw it, God's got this and if they pull so be it. Plus the memory of my miscarriage still haunts me, it was an absolutely awful experience. I bled so much I was actually unable to walk, it was scary. I was really worrying over the "what if" if that happens again and felt better with them knowing "just in case." Obviously I hope that doesn't happen this time! But yeah losing the income from them causes far less concern/anexity so I went with that option.
But, dcm is 100% fine with it
she was excited, had a plan for back up and is really not concerned at all. I have never had a ftm so relaxed about everything! So, all is great. No loss of income, no more secrets, I'm definitely feeling more relaxed. I totally see why you guys would wait too....if it hadn't been bothering me so much, and I had never had a mc, I probably would have ended up waiting.
But, dcm is 100% fine with it
she was excited, had a plan for back up and is really not concerned at all. I have never had a ftm so relaxed about everything! So, all is great. No loss of income, no more secrets, I'm definitely feeling more relaxed. I totally see why you guys would wait too....if it hadn't been bothering me so much, and I had never had a mc, I probably would have ended up waiting.
Mom2Two 10:23 AM 10-04-2017
Originally Posted by finsup:
So...I told them lol. It was just causing a lot of anexity for me so I just decided screw it, God's got this and if they pull so be it. Plus the memory of my miscarriage still haunts me, it was an absolutely awful experience. I bled so much I was actually unable to walk, it was scary. I was really worrying over the "what if" if that happens again and felt better with them knowing "just in case." Obviously I hope that doesn't happen this time! But yeah losing the income from them causes far less concern/anexity so I went with that option.
But, dcm is 100% fine with it she was excited, had a plan for back up and is really not concerned at all. I have never had a ftm so relaxed about everything! So, all is great. No loss of income, no more secrets, I'm definitely feeling more relaxed. I totally see why you guys would wait too....if it hadn't been bothering me so much, and I had never had a mc, I probably would have ended up waiting.
So...I told them lol. It was just causing a lot of anexity for me so I just decided screw it, God's got this and if they pull so be it. Plus the memory of my miscarriage still haunts me, it was an absolutely awful experience. I bled so much I was actually unable to walk, it was scary. I was really worrying over the "what if" if that happens again and felt better with them knowing "just in case." Obviously I hope that doesn't happen this time! But yeah losing the income from them causes far less concern/anexity so I went with that option.
But, dcm is 100% fine with it
she was excited, had a plan for back up and is really not concerned at all. I have never had a ftm so relaxed about everything! So, all is great. No loss of income, no more secrets, I'm definitely feeling more relaxed. I totally see why you guys would wait too....if it hadn't been bothering me so much, and I had never had a mc, I probably would have ended up waiting.
I hope everything goes okay for you all.