So im sure everyone has seen on the news at one time in point about a foster child being abuse by their foster parent. And im sitting her wondering how do these people get homestudies i mean some even have criminal records. I just don't understand i thought the state is suppose to do really good background checks on these people.

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I have a license for both daycare and foster care...let me tell you it was MUCH harder getting the daycare licensing than the foster care license.

Most of it has nothing to do with the criminal records/checks or anything like that...it's stuff like furnace inspections, radon testing, etc. But it was much more involved.

I don't understand how it is so easy myself to become a licensed foster care provider when you have the kids in your complete control and care 24/7, compared to providing childcare for several hours per day in your home and then the kids leave to loving, caring, providing parents.

The sad thing is, even though it's so easy to get licensed as foster care (compared to daycare), it is no parade. WE have to do what the agencies tell us to do...we don't get the luxery of running our 'household's' the way we want, and honestly the subsidy payments (at least in Michigan) is totally not worth providing the care, and having to jump through the hoops of the agencies.

That is why there are so many foster parents who only do it for a short time (myself included) and the state is ALWAYS in need of more homes. I believe it's so easy to get the foster care licensing because there is such a shortage of foster care homes that they are a lot less strict.

I've been fostering for 4 years now, and I will tell you that there is probably no where you could go where you are lied to more (caseworkers trying to get you to take kids you would never take if you had known the truth about them to begin with. They will omit information and tell you all the wonderful things about the kids...forgetting the bad stuff until it's too late and they're in your home and THEN when you have to ask to have them removed, they will remind you they have 14 days (some states are 30 days) to move the child...even a 17 yo who they'd failed to tell you had just gotten out of jail the day they brought him to you and has a lengthy police record, and you catch him coming out of your 9 yo granddaughters bedroom in the middle of the night).

On one hand I understand the reasoning WHY they issue foster care licenses so easily (shortage of foster homes due the problems the system itself has created). On the other hand...I just don't get it when these kids are in our hands 24/7 and the agency doesn't do the things THEY are required to ensure the safety of the kids.

I've had to do my own investigations on my grandkids birth mom as the agency believed whatever she told them, wasn't going for drug screens and still getting visitations (they're not supposed to have visits if they test positive).

My grandkids were all set to go home on a Monday after we were to have court that day, when the Friday before I'd finally gotten all the proof I needed for the caseworker to proove to them that all the stuff I'd been telling them about birth mom all along was in fact true. That Friday the case plan was changed from reunification to guardianship...in the blink of an eye.

Had the caseworkers been doing their job, this case would never have gotten to where it was at that point. In the same sense, if the caseworkers, as well as the rest of the professionals involved in the foster care system, would do their jobs, and not be so quick to license just anybody, there would be so much less of all the bs that goes with fostering.

If they did their jobs properly, there would be less need for more foster homes than what's available because a lot of the parents rights would be terminated at a reasonable amount of time instead of dragging things out for several years, letting the parents get away with all their own lies and manipulations and move the kids on to safer living arrangements. MOST foster parents are wonderful, loving people who want nothing but whats best for the kdis and will adopt if given the chance. With adoption, the kids would no longer be in the foster system and that would free up beds in foster homes.

AS well, if the agencies and courts did their jobs properly, the end result would be less need for more foster homes, causing the licensing to become more strict.

Please do not think what i said portrays me as a heartless human being thinking every child who goes into foster care should be put up for adoption. I do not believe that. But what I have learned over the years, as most foster parents have, is that if the parents have not done what they are supposed to do in the first year at most, then it's not likely they are going to and the child should be released for adoption so their lives can become normal sooner rather than later.

Most people have no idea how long these poor kids languish in the foster care system not knowing from one day to the next where they might be in the morning, where they can call HOME.

In my grandkids case, both parents are drug addicts. You would not believe all the ways they can alter drug tests...I'm not taking anyone's word for this information. My son, a drug addict, whose kids lives have depended on him becoming clean, has told me himself about how he's beat the drug tests...and I did not hesitate to pass the info on to the caseworkers. He's my son, and I love him with my heart, but my priority is protecting the kids. This case has dragged out for over 5 years and the birth mom has gotten away with so much...no job, no stable place to live (always lives with someone else and when she does get a place to live, she gets evicted (6 times in 7 years) as well as continued drug use. She's incapable of caring for herself, much less kids. Her boyfriend was giving 16 yo grandson pot during their unsupervised visits.

I'm not only speaking from my own experiences, but from every foster parent I've ever met. The system stinks on so many levels, for everyone involved. Sorry for the rant...this has been a tough 5 years and it ain't over yet, never will be.

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I thought about doing foster care, espesually for teenagers (since they are the hardest to find homes for) and I can let them help me around the daycare or the house after school for an allowance. But my fiance is really weary about it because I guess his aunt did foster care and the kids she got and eventually adopted had records and were very misbehaved and took advantage of her home and he is also afraid of the liability. But I thought about doing it because had a friend in high school who was in foster care because her dad was a drunk and tried to choke her once. She said that at her foster home her foster family gave her the basic necessities and even gave her their check they got for her so she could have lunch money and money for clothes but she still felt like they were detached and she felt like she was treated differently from their real kids and can tell that they were favored.

Heck that whole thing in daycare about "we treat your kids like they were our own" is technically a lie in the sense that in daycare it's more like "We treat your kids BETTER than our own kids sometimes" because there are things that parents can do (as long as its not hurting the child) that daycare cannot do or that their homes don't have to do but daycares have to. Like have a smoke-free and baby proof home or make sure they have a variety of food that is healthy according to the USDA; when some parents call top ramen 'lunch' and 'dinner' at least 4 days and nites a week.

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I thought about doing foster care also in the future. But IMO the system really does suck. They say the point of foster care is to reunite the parents and kids. But sometimes they just shouldn't, if someone abused all their kids why in gods name do the state think this time will be different.

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In some cases its also if they are orphans to wait for them to be adopted. And I do acknowlege in (very few cases) there are times when it is because the child has issues and the parents cannot properly care for them. One of my friends from my Geology class said that her 15 year old daughter is in foster care because she her daughter got caught stealing a car and getting drunk with some friends (she also has some mental/behavioral issues). There is also has a younger son and she was afraid of him being around her daughter because she had a bad temper; the mom said she tried sending her to relatives and tried to even put her son in foster care for a while when she was trying to focus on helping her daughter but it wasn't fair to him if his sister was the one acting up. Also she said that when he was having a growth spurt the foster family never took him to get shoes or new clothes and his clothes were always dirty and too small for him even though she always paid the child support fees . So she brought him back home and when her daughter got in trouble for stealing the car she just put her in foster care and she says she tries to check up on her when she can and makes sure she has everything she needs but she said her daughter still needs help.

Another lady I take CD classes with (who also does home daycare) says her youngest, her only son, is adopted. He started off as their foster child when he was 2 he is now about 8 or 9. He also has ADHD. The mom was young (and I think they said she may have been on drugs) has tried many times to get him back, and I think once she even got him back but he went back to the foster parents then she gave up her rights and they adopted him. Children with special needs are extreamly hard to find homes for- foster and adoption.

The system does suck sometimes but there are some success stories.

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I know thats what breaks my heart heart especially with little boys who are my race. They useually age out of the system especiall when they have special needs. I met a little boy who is three, he has medical needs but nothing to extreme. The lady told me i should apply for a foster license because there is little chance he will be adopted. I don't like the way birth parents can just walk in at any time when they want to be a parent. The state needs to make new laws on reunification. Also they need to stop just picking anyone to be foster parents. Also i wanted to ask what happens when they run out of foster parents what do they do with the kids then?

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Well, I'm a foster parent and a daycare provider. In my state, it is much harder to be a foster parent than a licensed daycare provider. It took nearly a full year to complete the mulitple home studies, background checks, training, etc. etc... Our state doesn't even require daycares to be licensed or registered as long as they have 12 or less kids, but a licensed foster parent who has gone through many, many hours of training can only have a total of 6 kids including your own children.

Yes, there are issues with the "system". But I feel like our area does a really great job weeding out the "bad apples" so to speak with the long process to become licensed to foster.

Once a child is placed in a foster home, the caseworkers return the next day to make sure things are going fine and the child is safe and then they come atleast weekly for the first month with monthly visits after that. (much more often if the child has parental visits or medical issues) The child must be present for these visits and the child is spoken to privately by the caseworker to make sure that the children aren't being abused.

I feel like there is a very good system in place to ensure safety of the foster child. Your question could be asked of any profession. Why aren't there better safety measures in place to ensure no children in daycare are abused? (kids have been abused in licensed daycares too) Messed up things happen in all situations.

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There are group homes to house these children. Similar to an orphanage, but they are not eligible for adoption in most cases.

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IK the laws are very flawed in many ways. Drug addicts, sex offenders, and wife beaters can legally keep their biological children as long as they don't physically hurt the child and can pass for sober infront of others. Yet people who cannot have children biologically are put on endless waiting lists when there are alot of kids who need homes and then they eventually age out.

I think if they cannot find enough foster homes they just put them in a group homes (even if it is full) or try to find some centers/shelters. There is this one place in my city were it's kinda like a shelter/after school program for foster kids- it's right next to a co-op preschool with the same name.

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And thats the worst part of the system, really good people are put on a waiting list for like 5 years but the state is always talking about the system is overflowing with kids. Ugh! it makes me so mad. One lady was about to adopt a sibling group they were even living with the lady and then all of a sudden mom walks back into the picture! Really!?!? The system needs to be fixed ASAP.

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RMC20021 - Thank you for sharing your story. Your experience is similiar to that of my parents, who went through the entire process you describe and have adopted their great grandduaghter....my great niece. The situation you describe, and the entire foster care agency description sound VERY similiar to what my parents experienced. It is HORRIBLE that these children are in limbo and have to go back and forth while the agencies and courts twiddle their thumbs and take their slow easy-***** time.

BTW, Are you adopting your grandchildren?

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I agree that yes there are many great people on waiting lists that span years but many of these extremely long waiting lists are for an infant or toddler. In 2011 46% of all the adoptions of children in foster care are under 4. There are many children in the system still that need help so its not untrue that they have way more children than adoptive parents. Its just an age that people are less like to want to adopt.

As someone that's been in and out of the system I can first hand agree with each of your comments that the system needs to be reworked. I had good and bad placements. I do firmly believe that there are more good foster parents than bad but there aren't enough. I would have preferred to stay in foster care, rather than my with my father, even though I repeatedly ended up with what we called "collectors" (multiple kids, $ most important but not terrible people in my case) but the ultimate goal of the system is reunification with biological family (parents or relatives) not adoption unless ultimately unavoidable. Thankfully my grandmother found dirt on my dad and blackmailed him into giving her custody (go nana!). I wish I could foster but at the moment we don't have the room, I do keep up on information and volunteer with advocacy agencies when I can.

I know in the area I grew up there is a major shortage of social workers because of funding, I was one of nearly 250 assigned to one case worker. Maybe if she had less kids to worry about and more resources to do her job my grandma wouldn't have had to be one the one digging up dirt.

Its just yet another government program that needs a major overall!

& RMC20021 I applaud your strength and fight. It's not an easy road

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I agree its not fair that people only want babies and infants. Thats why many of the children in foster care are school age kids, preteens, and teens. Thats why in my origional post I said I would prefer to take teens.

People assume babies are blank slates but they are born with different temperments and they can be just as tempermental as older kids. And yes there are some people who adopt and cant have kids who do want kids that shouldn't. I saw an episode of "Women Behind Bars" when a woman who couldn't have children had adopted 2 girls overseas 2 years apart. She adopted the first one (Nataliya) and loved her instantly. She adopted another girl from Russia (Nina) a few years later. Supposidly Nina was suffering from a detatchment personality- which in the show was stated as normal for children in forgien orphanages. According to the mom, Nina never liked her and nover showed her affection but was always nice to her husband and her preschool teachers and other adults. She found her self very angry with Nina and often hit her when no one else was around. One day when she was at home alone with both girls, Nina threw something at Nataliya (moms favorite) and the mom beat her up- all the marks were under her clothes and the mom left Nina in her room for hours afterwords. The dad came home and they were all do at a relatives home for a holiday. The little girl was still acting funny and that dad just assumed she was sick. The mom started to feel guilty so she stayed home with her when everyone else went out. The mom said Nina was starting to actually let her hold her and everything and then the mom noticed she stopped breathing. She called 911 and at the hospital they found al the bruises and the mom confessed she was arrested and her husband divorced her. The woman said that she hopes this is a lesson for people who want to adopt babies and kids from foreign countries because their is no garenteed that you will love them. Since then I heard because of this russia has very stict adoption rules now and they stopped adopting to Americans.

http://adoption.about.com/b/2008/08/...-nina-hilt.htm

Sometimes people slip throught the cracks.

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Foreign adoptions are a whole other ball game. The recent ban by Russian officials on Americans adopting Russian children is widely seen as stemming from the recent signing the Magnitsky Act by Obama, which imposed travel and financial sanctions on dozens of Russians implicated in human rights abuse. Its their form of political retaliation on our law targeting these Russian human rights abusers. Russia’s orphanages are known for being notoriously harsh and overcrowded, but they have always had multiples steps in the adoption process aimed to ensure it was the right choice for the child. I just feel bad for all those families that we in the process of adopting a child.

I agree that unfortunately people always will slip through the cracks and that adoption, foreign or domestic, can have negative outcomes as well. I never said it should be the only outcome for children in our system but I do think that sometimes parents are given way to many chances in my opinion.

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It might sound weird but i actually wouldn't want to adopt a baby i would go with 3-10 years old. And why in the world does it take years to terminate parents rights. If they are in jail shouldn't they be terminated as soon as they were sent to jail?

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Did you tell your caseworker you didn't want to live with your dad or did she just ignore you?

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Seriously? Maybe I'm just tired (or overly sensitive on this topic) and taking this comment wrong but don't think I sat quietly by waiting to see what happened. Even the first time at 6 I fought going back, I fought for myself every time. The first thing you learn in this system is you have to look out for yourself.

It wasn't a choice, I sure as heck didn't choose to go back or keep my mouth shut. Those heartwarming courtroom moments on tv and movies where the child gets to have a voice and pick where they live doesn't happen in these situations (or rarely if it does). Children in the system don't get to say where they go unless sitting in a courtroom with a mountain of evidence to suggest unfit parents. It wasn't up to my social worker either, she had an opinion but it was the judge who made the decisions. There was plenty of evidence in my cases, but not "enough" to warrant termination and once they took the required trainings, did time, and/or passed one or two drug tests they looked ok on paper. Reunification is the ultimate goal.

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I'm sorry i didn't mean it to rude. I was just curious if the caseworker or judge asked you what you wanted or did they just believe everything the parent says

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I understand, sorry if my response came off rude as well. Its just a hot button issue for me.

Realistically its about evidence backing up one story or the other. They need a paper trail (usually extremely long) of evidence and no hope of recovery before anything is done. But then each case worker (in my case anyway) is so swamped that they don't have enough time or resources to investigate in-depth which gives people time to cover their track or manipulate the system.

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I've experienced the Michigan system from the foster parent side as well.

Everything you wrote I 100% agree with. I was nodding my head and "mmmm-hmmmmm" ing the whole time.

Our system sucks.

I will never have a foster license again.

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With over 200 cases im surprised they don't loose the folders. How are they suppose to keep up with that many kids. I wonder how many kids have been lost in the system because of this.

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