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Old 12-01-2017, 09:54 AM
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Pepperth Pepperth is offline
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Default Unacceptable Behavior

We have a daycare child (age 3.5) whose behavior is getting to a point that is completely and totally unacceptable. He throws massive screaming fits throughout the whole day...not crying, but high pitched screaming like he's hurt. But its over everything. Like when a friend wants to sit on a certain chair or somebody else is using the bathroom he wants to use. Its to the point where he gets mad, kicks his shoes and throws anything in reach. When I see a fit about to happen, I move him to an area of the room where there is nothing to throw and nothing that he can accidently hurt himself on. I'm hesitant to send home because I think that is what he wants to happen. I've talked to the family who picks up, but I think I need a plan of action. I'm going to start documenting each fit and the duration. Child will not listen to anything any adult says. We've been working on deep breaths and other calming ideas, though the child is resistant. I'm afraid to give him a calming bottle or something because he'll probably throw it. I also can't term at this point in the game, though that may be an option once I document the behavior enough. What else can I try?
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Old 12-01-2017, 10:08 AM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
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Originally Posted by Pepperth View Post
We have a daycare child (age 3.5) whose behavior is getting to a point that is completely and totally unacceptable. He throws massive screaming fits throughout the whole day...not crying, but high pitched screaming like he's hurt. But its over everything. Like when a friend wants to sit on a certain chair or somebody else is using the bathroom he wants to use. Its to the point where he gets mad, kicks his shoes and throws anything in reach. When I see a fit about to happen, I move him to an area of the room where there is nothing to throw and nothing that he can accidently hurt himself on. I'm hesitant to send home because I think that is what he wants to happen. I've talked to the family who picks up, but I think I need a plan of action. I'm going to start documenting each fit and the duration. Child will not listen to anything any adult says. We've been working on deep breaths and other calming ideas, though the child is resistant. I'm afraid to give him a calming bottle or something because he'll probably throw it. I also can't term at this point in the game, though that may be an option once I document the behavior enough. What else can I try?
I've had a very similar child in care and felt the same but when it really comes right down to it, most of this behavior is probably rooted in their parenting style (no rules, getting what they want etc) so why should YOU be the one to "fix" that?

I started sending the child home. Because I didn't cause/teach the child the unwanted behavior and because it isn't my job to fix. It's also not fair to the other kids and it can be a serious liability for you. That last reason was the breaking point for me.

Once I realized how much liability I was assuming (simply for not wanting to send home) I immediately changed my plan and let the parents know I would be calling for immediate pick up every time the behavior became physical. Screaming is one thing but throwing things is never acceptable.
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Old 12-01-2017, 10:57 AM
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midaycare midaycare is offline
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I have a screamer but not a thrower or hitter. I'm a very relaxed person. Very chill around the kiddos. But I have a "side". The glare. The voice. The tone. Find yours. Let that child know it's unacceptable behavior.
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Old 12-01-2017, 12:12 PM
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Mom2Two Mom2Two is offline
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Originally Posted by Pepperth View Post
We have a daycare child (age 3.5) whose behavior is getting to a point that is completely and totally unacceptable. He throws massive screaming fits throughout the whole day...not crying, but high pitched screaming like he's hurt. But its over everything. Like when a friend wants to sit on a certain chair or somebody else is using the bathroom he wants to use. Its to the point where he gets mad, kicks his shoes and throws anything in reach. When I see a fit about to happen, I move him to an area of the room where there is nothing to throw and nothing that he can accidently hurt himself on. I'm hesitant to send home because I think that is what he wants to happen. I've talked to the family who picks up, but I think I need a plan of action. I'm going to start documenting each fit and the duration. Child will not listen to anything any adult says. We've been working on deep breaths and other calming ideas, though the child is resistant. I'm afraid to give him a calming bottle or something because he'll probably throw it. I also can't term at this point in the game, though that may be an option once I document the behavior enough. What else can I try?
Some thoughts...

Does he seem normal in other ways? Speech? Cognition?

The child might want to get picked up, but what do the parents want? Call for pick up might get their attention.

I know I say "assessment" a lot on here, but behavior can get a child a place in sped pre-K, especially is there's accompanying stuff.

Taking on this kind of behavior is taking on a large responsibility. ITA with the liability concern. If you know a child is potentially dangerous and you don't have him picked up as soon as possible, maybe another parent would be very unhappy about that if their child got hurt. I don't know about you, but I have some toys that weigh a good half pound that are pretty heavy projectiles.

Are the parents working with you? I would think that if they were working with you, you would have seen a lot of improvement if the child was typically developing.
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Old 12-01-2017, 09:08 PM
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lblanke lblanke is offline
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You can term anytime you want. I dint think you "owe" the family anything more than a brief explanation...no longer a good fit, needs larger center with multiple teach
Hers, restructuring your program or just simply that you cannot care fir him after x date.
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Old 12-06-2017, 05:48 AM
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MelissaP MelissaP is offline
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Default Some things to think about.

I've currently got a child that was severally physically abused by his father. He was in a coma and all that. He couldn't use one side of his body when he came to. Fast forward almost a year and he's perfectly capable of doing just about everything the other kids do and can use all of his body parts. BUT.. he has a bad temper, doesn't talk and has almost autistic like behavior. Now, is all of this because of the abuse, is it autism, or is it that the family is now "afraid" to discipline? I have no idea. But the one thing is, is that please don't judge a book by it's cover because you don't know. From the sounds of your post, it sounds a lot like autism is going on with the child. Of course we are not doctors so we can not diagnose but I would HIGHLY suggest giving the childs parents some print off information about autism. That's all you can do. If you feel like you are not prepared to handle the child, I would figure out a way to term but be gentle and make sure the parents know your concerns. I would honestly term the child that I care for, not because I don't want to help him succeed but because I am unprepared and he is a liability to the other children in my care. The children are the main reason though and this kid terrifies me to all extents when he's around them. But I can't.. because I currently work for a center and all they care about is money.

Last edited by MelissaP; 12-06-2017 at 05:49 AM. Reason: Forgot to say I worked for a center.
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