Do all of you do that? Such as Mother's Day breakfasts or picnics, etc. I have never done that.
I'm too shy and introverted to feel comfortable doing it. But I know I need to. I wanted to have a cookie exchange at Christmas time but never got up the nerve. Now with summer coming, my plan is to convert my backyard into more of a natural playscape. I have some dcds who do construction and that type of thing, they have trucks, access to many many natural resources and would be a tremendous asset to my plans, not to mention help save me loads of money! But I can't just say 'come help me'. I need to offer a picnic or pizza or something. I just feel so darn awkward in social situations.
Any suggestions??
I think one of my biggest fears is if they got to know me outside the dc, they wouldn't really like me. Yeh, I have so much self-esteem.

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I do 3 family events each year.

I do a spaghetti dinner in December for currently enrolled families on a Friday at around 5:30. Quick and easy and doesn't require a whole lot of social interaction from me because the adults all sit and eat together while I take care of the kids and get them fed and keep them entertained. I bill it as a time for parents to sit and enjoy a hot meal without worrying about the kids. My gift to them for the holidays.

Then at the beginning of June we do a graduation/end of year celebration since I only do preschool and prek. It is done at 4:30 in the afternoon on a Friday, consists of a small/short ceremony, slide show, cookies/fruit/juice.

Then towards the mid-end of June I do a big cookout on a Saturday around 4:00. This is for all of my current, former, and new families starting in Aug. There are so many people there that it doesn't require a whole lot of socialization by me. I make BBQ, hams and hots, salads, and snacks, put up my waterslide and bounce house, and let the families hang out. My parents seem to really enjoy the fact that they get to know the parents of the kids that their kids are with all day. I like the fact that I get to see the kids who have graduated my program.

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I do two major events for the year. We do our Christmas party with a special visit from santa and a summer fundraiser party.

The summer party started out as a fundraiser to raise money to buy daycare tshirts. It was in the backyard with lots of outdoor toys for the kids to play with, we grilled hotdogs and had chips, dips, fruits, etc. We raised enough for the t-shirts and extra to help pay for our beautiful outdoor playhouse. The parents had such a good time that they asked about having one last year, so we did. We sold raffle tickets (we raffled off some toys I had bought, some Bulls memorabilia that a dcd donated since he had season tickets and got tons of free stuff, a date at a local mini-golf course that we had donated and a free day of daycare). We raised just enough to pay for the gifts from santa to the kids and some of the food at the party.

Because of all the running around it takes to get the party going, I don't HAVE to socialize very much, which is nice. But as long as I can get everything ready to go beforehand, I get to hang out with the kids and talk to as many or as few parents as I want to.

I would recommend setting up a fundraiser summer party. Talk about what it is that you want to do to the backyard and that you were hoping for some ideas from them too. Then you could always say that you will invite them back for another party, sort of a grand opening once it's completed?

And about the parents not liking you - you're crazy! You interviewed with them, right? That means that you already sold yourself to them. You're in .

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I choose to not do any group activities.My currant parents however do get together socially.The women have gone out to dinner and families have planned their own beach/playground meets. I found that the children push the rules when thier parents are together and noone listens to me(children).The usual rules are not followed on the playyard and I felt I was just doing longer care with no pay.I applaud all that can carry this off though.

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I've never had any desire to socialize with my clients so don't. I don't feel guilty about it one bit.

A time or two I have been invited to a daycare child's family birthday party and while the people were nice I didn't know most of the people there and I didn't like being there so decided to decline all further invitations.

Laurel

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Same here and my weekends/free time with my own family is too important to me. My own kids/family are my focus when I'm not working, I would not want to give that time up.

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That's one of my fears too. I have had friends who I'm no longer friend with and I think eventually it got to the point where I don't try to form anything more than an acquaintanceship with people because I figure that if they do get to know me that they won't like me anymore and will just wind up leaving anyway (maybe we should start an introvert group, lol).

I have thought of some daycare family gathering ideas (voluntary; some depend on your age groups):
Graduation, Grade Promotion, or End of The School Year Celebration (especially if you offer preschool, private kinder, BS/AS care, or have homeschoolers)
Family Talent Show
Puppet Show
Poetry Slam Night (or Story telling night)
Short Play (or Skits)
Movie Night
Game Night
BBQ Party
Bond Fire
Easter Egg Hunt (maybe the day before Easter or that Friday after closing)
Halloween Party
Christmas Party (a few days before Christmas)
New Years Party (kid friendly)

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When I have had holiday parties for the daycare I have invited the parents and kids who are not in normal attendance that day to the party but haven't, as of yet, had an actual party for the families. My ds is graduating HS this year so I am throwing a huge grad bash for him that all the families are invited to but I am also thinking about doing a small BBQ just for the DCF's the night before since everything will already be all set up.

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Just have to chime in here about all the Introvert comments.

If you've ever heard of the Myers Briggs personality tests you maybe be surprised (as I was) as to what their definition of an introvert is.

Generally, Myers Briggs is useful and used by some companies to pair people for projects based on their personality types. For example, one person in a group may be more of a dreamer type and has great ideas and but is not so good at implementing them. Whereas, someone with a different personality type might not be able to think of good ideas but given one can get right on implementing an idea wonderfully. Neither one is good or bad...just different.

My daughter got into this Myers Briggs stuff as a hobby but actually took the classes to get certified to administer personality tests. She was just in the classes for fun but she said most were there because they were in Human Resources at their company and the company sent them.

Here is an overview of what an introvert and extrovert really is. http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-p...troversion.asp

Basically what she told me is that we all have a little bit of everything in us but we simply feel more comfortable or energized by certain things.

For example, she did the official test with me and I tested as an Introvert. I told her I like parties (sometimes) and like to go where the excitement is but that I also value my down and alone time. I like to go out and have fun but after a night out I am so happy to get home and relax and most probably will want to spend a quiet day alone the next day. She said this is typical. It isn't necessarily that introverts don't like to be out and about but more like they just need more down time in between. We are not generally shop till you droppers and then can go out and shop till we drop the next day again. That kind of thing.

It is not that one is superior to the other it is just a preference that we are born with...I guess. Like she is an introvert also and is more the artsy type. She paints as a hobby. However, her job is in computer security and she is a whiz at fixing computer glitches. Her job is very technical. She says because of her personality type she would probably be more at home with a less technical type of occupation. But that is the thing, we CAN all do both. We may be one way at work and one way at home. However, if we pick according to our preference we may be more satisfied at work. She just has to put on her 'technical hat' at work but may be more drained at the end of the day then if she picked a job according to her natural preference. Just an example.

So all this to say that introvert doesn't automatically mean shy as you'll see by the link.

It is really very interesting to hear her talk about it all.

Laurel

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I find this to be so sad This doesn't sound like an introvert issue but more fear of abandonment, fear of failure and self esteem issues. Friends will always come and go, if you are very lucky you will have a handful of friends that will last til the end. If someone is truly happier alone or with family that is one thing but afraid to make friends for the reasons you mentioned is entirely different.

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My husband and I have discussed having a bbq or just having the families over one at a time for dinner as a "get to know you and thank you" type thing.


I think you should have your plans wrote out or planned out and ask if any of them have any advise for you or input because they are familiar with the materials and may be able to give you some help. I think as a parent they would like to help it is for their children's benefit after all. If they choose to offer help or advise great if not that's their choice too. Good Luck

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We have a pool (never used for daycare) and love have BBQs and parties, just not with daycare people. I am so glad when Friday gets here! I spend more time than I would really like to with the kids, and drop off/pick up is more than enough time for me with the parents! I do not offer anything outside of daycare hours and do not offer to do anything other than "normal" during day care hours, no special celebrations or get togethers.
Do whatever you feel comfortable with, but understand that you are under no obligation to do anything special for the families. If you are doing a party just to not feel guilty asking for their help, there are other things you could do that might feel more comfortable and take less effort. Request the help you need and then offer each family that helps a free day or evening of daycare. Offer to watch the kids on a Saturday while the parent helps with your yard.

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Feel like I eat, sleep, breath, day care!!! So I personally don't want to give up anymore energies to day care. Besides, I've been mentioning certain dcp's lately, I'm still working with that are just down right, nosy, condescending, snots, that I'm sure would ruin it for most, especially me.

If your up for it, think sahm1225 had some great ideas to take the attention off of you. A pot luck might be helpful too, so you don't have to do all the fixin's yourself. Maybe get some games ready for the kids too, so they have less of a chance to act out. Have a written schedule of how you want the day to go, that way you can concentrate on that instead of your own anxieties.
And even though I can relate to your insecurities......I'm sure they already like you, because they trust you with their children

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Fall Festival in October- End of day on a Friday and all the parents come and then leave early. It is a lot of work but I get so many compliments and like doing it.

Christmas Program in December- We work on a program and the kids sing. We have cookies afterwards and I give the kids their gifts. We usually hold it at a community center so there is enough room.This is my least favorite event because it takes so much work and is during such a busy time of year.

Graduation in May- We have this in the yard on a weekday evening. The kids who are leaving for KG wear caps and gowns and I have some songs and music and say a little speech. I order a cake and get the kids graduation bears. I really love this event.

Sometimes I wonder why I do all of these things. But I guess they are just traditions I created and follow through with each year. I would not do any event unless I felt comfortable to do so. I do not think you should or need to. Do it if you want to and have the desire. Otherwise dont sweat it.

One fun thing a friend of mine did was have a scrapbook night and all the parents came and made a scrapbook page to add to the class book.

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I'm a very outgoing person, but I have no desire to entertain my daycare parents. They are not my friends. We have a friend-LY relationship, but that's it for the most part. In the nearly 30 years I've done this, I have become "real" friends with only 2 or 3 parents.

The manager of the local store doesn't have me over to dinner because I shop there. The school principal doesn't feel he needs to ask me over because my daughter is in his school. We say hello and exchange pleasantries. Same with me and my daycare parents.

I save my backyard BBQ's for people I actually want to hang with!

This is just my opinion BTW. Kudos to those who do the entertaining thing with clients and enjoy it. It's just not my cup 'o tea.

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I've always wanted to do some kind of get-together with daycare parents, but the longer I'm in this business, the less desire I have to do it. Plus, daycare can be hard on my children so anytime off or away from the daycare families is good for them and ultimately for me too. I already see these children 50 hours a week....I don't necessarily want anymore time with them unless I'm getting compensated for it .

In fact, it's getting to the point where I'm going to stop going to daycare kid birthdays. My daycare families don't really go out of their way for me or members of my family, so I am leaning towards making everything much more business-oriented.

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Ok, I have to admit, if it wasn't a possible STARS requirement, I probably wouldn't even be entertaining the thought. Plus I was thinking if I did a picnic or pizza day this summer, it'd be a great way to get my backyard transformed quicker. But then, I'm wondering if I'm assuming they'd want to spend their weekend off to come here any more than I'd want to spend it with them.

The families are all pretty nice, I just really enjoy my kid-free time. I actually invited one of my dcgs here yesterday though and we had some fun together. The family is wonderful and I do a little extra for them sometimes.

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I think that is why we here a lot of people on here saying they don't always get 4s, or 7s, or whatever their local STARS/QIRS/FCCERS/ECEERS grading is (I'm mostly familiar with ECEERS/FCCERS). And why many don't try to get accredited even though they have overall quality programs; because they choose not to have any out of daycare events for the parents or family involvement activities. Which if that's what you want is fine, some licensing just wants to make sure that parents have the opportunity to be involved in their children's early education; but some parents just see daycare as a place where you just drop your kid of so you can go to work and don't really care much about socializing with the provider or other parents outside of pick-up/drop-off (just as most providers want it to be, but not always the case).

ETA: I remember this lady from iownadaycare.com (I only watch the videos for ideas, I never really buy anything- I do the same thing for startapreschool.com). In one video she said when she was starting out she hosted weekend birthday parties for the daycare kids in her backyard (no extra charge) because chances are that not only would her current daycare parents be there but the birthday family would often invite non-daycare families to the parties, so that could also double as an advertisement strategy as well as an event for daycare families.

Another Idea: You can also maybe try an Open House/ Back To (Pre)School Night type thing where the parents can look around at the children's art work, talk a little, and you can share pictures of the children that you have been taking. You can probably organize a game (scavenger hunt, bingo, headbandz, charades, etc.) maybe even give out prizes, and/or you can probably teach the children a song/dance (or even a little skit) and have them preform it for their parents at the end (if you have a big enough backyard or living space). It can either be a pot luck or you can just have pizza, finger foods, and coffee. Probably only about 1.5 hours to 2 hours.

If you assess the children in your care (especially if you do preschool) you can probably also set up a parent/provider conference, not much of a 'socializing' even but could help break the ice and may work towards 'parent involvement' requirements (depending on your program's/state's system).

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We'll have been opened 3 years in July and we've had 3 very successful Halloween parties. The first year was the best because the weather was nice, but the last two had to be inside. All the kids came from both daycares, all dressed up in costume. Some got ready here and some went home first. We've even had a couple of parents dress up. It's a couple of hours and parents all bring in cookies, candy, drinks, etc and we buy pizza. It's an easy way to see the kids dressed up. Everything's so hectic getting games ready, food ready, etc that I don't have a lot of time to socialize.

We tried to throw a Summer Bash last summer but no one was interested for some reason. I didn't have the best group of kids/families then, so we'll try again this summer.

We also go to the Zoo and a Pumpkin farm each year and several parents volunteer for that, so we get to know them then too. It's a little less intimidating so you might start with field trips before doing a party.

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This sounds exactly like me!! I agree with pp, I know mine is a fear of abandonment and self esteem issues due to my past. I'm working on it.

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This ^^ is my answer too.

I am not sure of your state requirements but I am a 4 star program (max in my state) and I still met the parent-program requirements without having to plan outside events such as BBQ's or Mother's Day breakfasts etc....

There are a lot of ways to meet that portion of the QRIS requirements without having to give your personal time or work outside of your normal care giving hours.

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For our STARS program for our state we have to have social events for parents also.

Still working on one part of the STARS program so I havent reached the STAR for that requirement yet.

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I am confused....are you trying to have a party in order to ask the dads to help you revamp your backyard? I dont know that that is going to go over very well....I think it would be better to do a party without any expectation of return from the parents.

If you need help with the backyard, I would ask each Dad separately although again, as a professional, I can imagine they may be offended to feel you are trying to get labor or materials for free. I know I would be miffed for someone to expect me to offer free daycare services just because I happen to provide daycare.

Maybe I am misunderstanding the situation?

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If this is the case, maybe ask if they are interested in bartering. When I had a separate daycare house, a DCD did a lot of landscaping work for me, fixed my shed door, re-built some steps etc. He was a single dad who was struggling and so it helped him not to have to pay for daycare and I got great work done.

A DCM is a photographer. She's well known around here and I could never afford her regular prices. But she did some family pics for half price and I "paid" the rest in daycare. If it works mutually, it's great.

That may be better than offering a BBQ etc. Money talks better than anything, so bartering services may work...and it feels more "equal" to those involved.

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Yeh, I didn't get into that part of it very well did I? Guess I wasn't thinking how that must've sounded. Sorry. In a newsletter last fall I told them my plans to convert the play yard this year and I asked all of them if they had access to natural items and I gave a sample list, please to let me know, I'm willing to pay and everything. Many spoke up and said oh yeh, we'd love to help!. One of the dcfs ended up giving me a nice gift certificate for Christmas with a note saying 'for your new play area'. Then he told me how some of the other parents would be able to help(He's friends with a couple and kinda knows what they have access to, being in construction type work and such). I also asked my resource person at the childcare agency for ideas and she's the one that mentioned having a big get together with the dcfs, offering a picnic or something and working all together.
Hope I explained it a little more clearly?

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I used to coordinate an every-other-month dinner meeting at a fast-food joint with playtubes close to my house when my own kids were younger. The DCPs really enjoyed it and it was another great thing that set my program apart from others.

The cons were:
1)OMG I cannot believe how DCG/DCB is behaving and I am having such a hard time keeping my mouth shut!
2)As if I didn't spend enough time on my job without adding this. Oy.
3)Did I just overhear you comparing your rates and did I just overhear you debating if you should enroll at a "real" preschool or stay at my daycare?!?!

Yeah, after half a dozen or so of those I decided I didn't really need to get my families together. I just quit doing them, and no one asked about them. I think they were secretly relieved to not have the "obligation" anymore, too!

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