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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Do Any Of You Say Anything To Family Members
Auntie 03:46 PM 07-31-2011
if their children are acting up and the parents are NOT doing anything?
I am starting to NOT want to be around them anymore. The behavior is so bad.
At my house we say something. The children are fine here. They know the rules and we will say something and they know it.
However, when we go to their homes those kids are horrible.
Even my niece will say her kids don't listen to her.
Any advice I can give her maybe?
I am starting to NOT want to be around them anymore. The behavior is so bad.
At my house we say something. The children are fine here. They know the rules and we will say something and they know it.
However, when we go to their homes those kids are horrible.
Even my niece will say her kids don't listen to her.
Any advice I can give her maybe?
Kaddidle Care 04:15 PM 07-31-2011
Tread lightly and just tell her to be consistant, be truthful and follow through - but only if she asks for your advise.
We all parent differently and nobody wants to be told "you're doing it wrong".
When it's at your house, it's your rules. You might be able to approach her that way. "Well at my house we do it this way."
We all parent differently and nobody wants to be told "you're doing it wrong".
When it's at your house, it's your rules. You might be able to approach her that way. "Well at my house we do it this way."
sharlan 04:21 PM 07-31-2011
Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care:
Tread lightly and just tell her to be consistant, be truthful and follow through - but only if she asks for your advise.
We all parent differently and nobody wants to be told "you're doing it wrong".
When it's at your house, it's your rules. You might be able to approach her that way. "Well at my house we do it this way."
x2Tread lightly and just tell her to be consistant, be truthful and follow through - but only if she asks for your advise.
We all parent differently and nobody wants to be told "you're doing it wrong".
When it's at your house, it's your rules. You might be able to approach her that way. "Well at my house we do it this way."
I have a daughter that's a negotiator and distracter. Grandma stays out of it until it reaches a point, then she says something. Most of the time, I keep quiet.
Auntie 04:30 PM 07-31-2011
Must be preparing me for when I become a grandparent LOL 
Boy the lack of parenting these days.
Boy the lack of parenting these days.
nannyde 04:33 PM 07-31-2011
What are the kids doing that upsets you?
Auntie 05:00 PM 07-31-2011
They will sass their mom (4 and 10 yr old), 4yr old will hit their mom, not listen when told to do something. The 4 yr old will do something he was asked not to do and smile at me and stick his tounge out at me. He will be jumping around on his furntiture his mom tells him to stop.
One time he was told to come inside he was done in the pool he screamed and kicked her and pulled on the blinds on the sliding glass door, he runs and kicks doors or slams into them. Will throw toys. Then he will be getting away with the behavior and looks at me and smiles or sticks his tounge out.
Mom told him to keep his pizza at the table he walks into the livingroom and sets it on the tv stand and smirks at me like ha ha you can't do anything. My niece says he always acts like this one someone comes over.
She has told me too that her older one doesn't listen to her either. They fight all the time. The older child lives mostly with his father. She has NO control. It is stressful being around them.
One time he was told to come inside he was done in the pool he screamed and kicked her and pulled on the blinds on the sliding glass door, he runs and kicks doors or slams into them. Will throw toys. Then he will be getting away with the behavior and looks at me and smiles or sticks his tounge out.
Mom told him to keep his pizza at the table he walks into the livingroom and sets it on the tv stand and smirks at me like ha ha you can't do anything. My niece says he always acts like this one someone comes over.
She has told me too that her older one doesn't listen to her either. They fight all the time. The older child lives mostly with his father. She has NO control. It is stressful being around them.
sharlan 05:15 PM 07-31-2011
People don't realize that not everyone loves their little angels' behavior.
nannyde 05:34 PM 07-31-2011
Originally Posted by Auntie:
They will sass their mom (4 and 10 yr old), 4yr old will hit their mom, not listen when told to do something. The 4 yr old will do something he was asked not to do and smile at me and stick his tounge out at me. He will be jumping around on his furntiture his mom tells him to stop.
One time he was told to come inside he was done in the pool he screamed and kicked her and pulled on the blinds on the sliding glass door, he runs and kicks doors or slams into them. Will throw toys. Then he will be getting away with the behavior and looks at me and smiles or sticks his tounge out.
Mom told him to keep his pizza at the table he walks into the livingroom and sets it on the tv stand and smirks at me like ha ha you can't do anything. My niece says he always acts like this one someone comes over.
She has told me too that her older one doesn't listen to her either. They fight all the time. The older child lives mostly with his father. She has NO control. It is stressful being around them.
It's a tough one if you don't have the agreement that you will discipline each others kids and say what's on your mind. In my family the four year old would have had every adult in the room on him the instant he was disrespectful to his mother. Hitting your mother would NEVER happen in my family. They will sass their mom (4 and 10 yr old), 4yr old will hit their mom, not listen when told to do something. The 4 yr old will do something he was asked not to do and smile at me and stick his tounge out at me. He will be jumping around on his furntiture his mom tells him to stop.
One time he was told to come inside he was done in the pool he screamed and kicked her and pulled on the blinds on the sliding glass door, he runs and kicks doors or slams into them. Will throw toys. Then he will be getting away with the behavior and looks at me and smiles or sticks his tounge out.
Mom told him to keep his pizza at the table he walks into the livingroom and sets it on the tv stand and smirks at me like ha ha you can't do anything. My niece says he always acts like this one someone comes over.
She has told me too that her older one doesn't listen to her either. They fight all the time. The older child lives mostly with his father. She has NO control. It is stressful being around them.
If my son hit me his whole world would stop as he knows it. He wouldn't have a moments peace left in his young life. He would be met with some uncles doing the Bam Bam Bigelow on him.
If you don't like being around her HORRIBLY behaving kids then you need to tell her. You don't have to talk badly about her kids.... just how YOU feel when you see the way they treat her. She needs the life experience of one person after another saying "I can't be around that. It's too stressful".
There's a really good chance that the parents really like the behavior.
They may allow it because it makes them feel their kids are special and have the right to do as they please even if they are the victims and it's unsafe. If the parents like the hatefulness, disrespect, and violence then there isn't much you can do but say what YOU are willing to be around.
Country Kids 09:06 PM 07-31-2011
My husband and I shocked a relative by having several children. When I asked her why she seemed surprise that we had children she said "I didn't think you liked children." I told her "I like children, well behaved children." She had one that could throw up when she didn't get her way, etc. I didn't agree with that so instantly "I didn't like children."
jojosmommy 10:44 AM 08-01-2011
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
My husband and I shocked a relative by having several children. When I asked her why she seemed surprise that we had children she said "I didn't think you liked children." I told her "I like children, well behaved children." She had one that could throw up when she didn't get her way, etc. I didn't agree with that so instantly "I didn't like children."
HA I LOVE THIS! My SIL has kids like this too and she often asks me if I like my job. I remind her that at my house I run the show and the stuff her kids pull on her aren't even considered in my home. My husband and I shocked a relative by having several children. When I asked her why she seemed surprise that we had children she said "I didn't think you liked children." I told her "I like children, well behaved children." She had one that could throw up when she didn't get her way, etc. I didn't agree with that so instantly "I didn't like children."
And to the OP, I think it gets real messy once you offer your advice. Like someone else said some people enjoy the chaos thier kids create and don't make any efforts to change that. I wouldn't give advice but it does make it hard to be around.
MarinaVanessa 11:03 AM 08-01-2011
I agree that things can get heated really fast if you should decide to interject if that's not the dynamic of your relationship with them, especially if you are in their home. In our family (both my side and DH's side) we joint parent. Uncles, aunts, grandma's, grandpa's etc. all help to raise the kids. Some family members are more lenient than others but they know that if even their own children misbehave in their own homes and family is visiting, if mom or dad don't say anything we ALL will.
My SIL just expects her kids to listen but doesn't want to put in the time or effort to actually fix the behavior so of course they don't listen to her so she's always shouting at them and drives me bonkers. We take turns babysitting on weekends from time to time so that we can each have date nights and I refuse to let her watch my kids when she has her kids in my home. The few times she did and I'd get home my house was A MESS!! Food on the floor, dishes on counters or table, toys all over the floor etc.
. I learned really quickly to only let her watch my kids at my house when her own kids were with their dad. My kids know my rules ... heck, even her kids know my rules when she's not around but when she's been here "watching" the kids it's more like she's here only to make sure that kids keep breathing. 
My SIL just expects her kids to listen but doesn't want to put in the time or effort to actually fix the behavior so of course they don't listen to her so she's always shouting at them and drives me bonkers. We take turns babysitting on weekends from time to time so that we can each have date nights and I refuse to let her watch my kids when she has her kids in my home. The few times she did and I'd get home my house was A MESS!! Food on the floor, dishes on counters or table, toys all over the floor etc.
. I learned really quickly to only let her watch my kids at my house when her own kids were with their dad. My kids know my rules ... heck, even her kids know my rules when she's not around but when she's been here "watching" the kids it's more like she's here only to make sure that kids keep breathing.
happykidschildcare 05:59 PM 08-01-2011
If you ever go to the lil dears birthday parties (dck's) you will get to see the dynamics of the parenting skills in action. A big wake up for me knowing they DO NOT and WILL NOT act like that at my home, but SOME parents 
actually put up with it. I never say anything to a DCP, but if they could hear the thoughts in my head!!! LOL
actually put up with it. I never say anything to a DCP, but if they could hear the thoughts in my head!!! LOL