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mamamanda 08:35 AM 05-11-2018
So I know I struggle with implementing appropriate consequences. Don't know why I have a hard time with that, but Im never sure which consequence to use. I've been thinking over what blackcat has shared with me in the past & I realize I redirect a lot, but don't necessarily have a consequence for the behavior.

My current issues...my DD turned 2 yesterday & this week she went from happy & compliant to a lot of typical boundary testing but I want to nip it in the bud appropriately from the beginning.

She dumps her plate & laughs, however I worry about removing her from the table b/c she has been under a Drs watch for extremely low weight gain. She throws Play-Doh when she's finished w/it. I immediately take it away but she doesn't do it until she's done so she doesn't care. Worst one for me... she's started doing this ear piercing scream anytime someone touches anything she's playing with or if they do something she doesn't want them to.

Dcb 2 also screams/cries over EVERYTHING which I'm sure is where she learned it, but the combination of the two is almost unbearable. Also, dcb mouths every single toy he touches all day long. All I say is take that out of your mouth. Mouths are for food, not toys. I mean he's tearing stuff up b/c he bites the toys so hard. He sucks, chews, licks constantly. But he has all of his teeth so not teething. He will be 3 in Sept.

Any suggestions on how to address each of these behaviors?
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Ariana 09:32 AM 05-11-2018
I have a sitting spot which doubles as my reading area. I tell the kid they need to go and “sit out” and I place them there, then after a few minutes I talk to them and give them the expectation to join back in the group.

I also take things away for good. I have a 2.5 yr old who simply cannot understand the concept that markers are not for drawing on tables and play doh does not go on the floor so when those things are out she does not participate. I have given her a few tries over the last few months but she continues to do it so no more markers and play doh for her for the foreseeable future.

So no more play doh for her (explain why when you bring it out)
Sit out for the screaming and then escalate to her going to her bed (if possible). She will likely scream when sitting out so you need an escalation consequence. Something she hates. For me it is their beds and it works.

Dumping a plate? I would not give her a plate and I would fork feed her (if possible). Put the food right on her high chair or table, one piece at a time.

I think a bit more control might be needed for these behaviors.

As for mouthing I have not had any success in curbing it besides reminders. A kid is either orally fixated or not and it is hard to break.
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racemom 09:35 AM 05-13-2018
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I have a sitting spot which doubles as my reading area. I tell the kid they need to go and “sit out” and I place them there, then after a few minutes I talk to them and give them the expectation to join back in the group.

I also take things away for good. I have a 2.5 yr old who simply cannot understand the concept that markers are not for drawing on tables and play doh does not go on the floor so when those things are out she does not participate. I have given her a few tries over the last few months but she continues to do it so no more markers and play doh for her for the foreseeable future.

So no more play doh for her (explain why when you bring it out)
Sit out for the screaming and then escalate to her going to her bed (if possible). She will likely scream when sitting out so you need an escalation consequence. Something she hates. For me it is their beds and it works.

Dumping a plate? I would not give her a plate and I would fork feed her (if possible). Put the food right on her high chair or table, one piece at a time.

I think a bit more control might be needed for these behaviors.

As for mouthing I have not had any success in curbing it besides reminders. A kid is either orally fixated or not and it is hard to break.
These are all great suggestions. When toys go in mouths in my room 18 mo to 3 year olds, I have a bucket toys go in and nobody can play with them until after they are cleaned. I clean them during nap, so that means they are off limits the rest of the day. It seems to help, when they start realizing they cannot play with that toy, they can see the bucket and what is in it but cannot have those toys until next day.
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mamamanda 08:06 PM 05-13-2018
Thank you for the suggestions! These are all good. Hoping for a better week!
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Jamie 04:21 AM 05-14-2018
Yes to what others have said before me!

I am a big believer in natural consequences - if you cannot do this and that properly and won't listen when told no, then you cannot do it at all.

You can't use a plate? You don't get a plate.

You can't treat the play-doh nicely? You don't get play-doh.

You can't treat friends nicely (screams at them, hit them etc.)? You can't be with friends.

Also, if you can, try not to use a scolding tone... No "Suzie!! What are you doing?? NO!!! No dumping!!!" Just state plain and simple "Now you have no plate."
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Tags:consequences, punishment
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