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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Wwyd? Dcm W Criminal Record?
Unregistered 06:06 AM 02-12-2011
Registered user logged out for privacy.
I just found out that one of my DCMs was incarcerated for a few months in a maximum security facility. She told me directly. It slipped when we were talking about a new custody arrangement with DCD. She did not say why or when and I did not ask. I could tell she did not mean to tell me.
I have 2 problems:
1. While she does not have much contact with anyone at drop off/pick up but tends to linger if DCB puts up a fight to leave. I'm pretty sure if she was locked up at this particular facility it would be something that would exclude her from working with children. No way her CORI comes back clean enough.
2. One of my other DCD is an officer at another facility. We have friends that are officers too. I know from their talking that any contact with ex-inmates from any facility is strictly prohibited, besides being dangerous. They don't even wear wedding rings at work. DCD picks up wearing his uniform sometimes, and she's had contact with him. She knows his kids' names and the street they live on. Wouldn't it be crossing a confidentiality line to tell him about her? But what about his rights to protect his family?
Now I have no idea why she was there, however there is another women's minimum security facility in the area where most of the drug, dui, minor theft type stuff goes. And what if DCD was also involved? I may be overthinking this I know. But it's really stressed me out.
WWYD? Thoughts? I'm going to call my licensor and leave her a message to call me Monday.
I just found out that one of my DCMs was incarcerated for a few months in a maximum security facility. She told me directly. It slipped when we were talking about a new custody arrangement with DCD. She did not say why or when and I did not ask. I could tell she did not mean to tell me.
I have 2 problems:
1. While she does not have much contact with anyone at drop off/pick up but tends to linger if DCB puts up a fight to leave. I'm pretty sure if she was locked up at this particular facility it would be something that would exclude her from working with children. No way her CORI comes back clean enough.
2. One of my other DCD is an officer at another facility. We have friends that are officers too. I know from their talking that any contact with ex-inmates from any facility is strictly prohibited, besides being dangerous. They don't even wear wedding rings at work. DCD picks up wearing his uniform sometimes, and she's had contact with him. She knows his kids' names and the street they live on. Wouldn't it be crossing a confidentiality line to tell him about her? But what about his rights to protect his family?
Now I have no idea why she was there, however there is another women's minimum security facility in the area where most of the drug, dui, minor theft type stuff goes. And what if DCD was also involved? I may be overthinking this I know. But it's really stressed me out.
WWYD? Thoughts? I'm going to call my licensor and leave her a message to call me Monday.
Zoe 08:59 AM 02-12-2011
Wow...that's quite a situation! I really don't know what the rules are regarding this stuff, but I think you made a wise decision to call your licensor. He/she will know the regulations and can give you the best advice. My only advice for you is to make sure you talk to your licensor as soon as possible!
Sorry I couldn't be more help, just wanted to let you know that you did the right thing by contacting someone!
Sorry I couldn't be more help, just wanted to let you know that you did the right thing by contacting someone!
missnikki 09:42 AM 02-12-2011
My two cents:
-When you didn't know about it you were fine with her.
-Now you know minimal info about it, and it concerns you.
-You should have a frank talk with her. Tell her you appreciate that she was upfront with you, and you would like to set your mind at ease.
-Find out if she is on probation (or parole).
-I would need to know if it was a violent crime. That would be my red flag.
I am curious to see how this one unfolds. Keep us updated.
-When you didn't know about it you were fine with her.
-Now you know minimal info about it, and it concerns you.
-You should have a frank talk with her. Tell her you appreciate that she was upfront with you, and you would like to set your mind at ease.
-Find out if she is on probation (or parole).
-I would need to know if it was a violent crime. That would be my red flag.
I am curious to see how this one unfolds. Keep us updated.
AAA713 01:58 PM 02-12-2011
I think you should have a talk with her also and let her know your concerns. Putting a call in for your licensor was a good idea to. Keep us updated, I've never had this happen before. I'm curious how it turns out. 
QualiTcare 03:11 PM 02-12-2011
i don't really see the issue. her lingering when picking up her child isn't "working with children" so she doesn't need to have a background clearance - unless you are ALLOWING her to work with the children. i don't see how that could happen at drop off/pick ups though
it is not any of your concern that a correctional officer has a child in the same child care as an ex inmate who doesn't even seem to be from the same facility. i'm sure it's against the rules of a prison for officers to socialize with ex inmates, but i also know that officers don't have to do a background check if they say hello to someone at the grocery store - OR at their child's daycare.
this is a perfect example of WHY people who have commited crimes can never move on with their lives even if they try. she's a dummy for telling you.
it is not any of your concern that a correctional officer has a child in the same child care as an ex inmate who doesn't even seem to be from the same facility. i'm sure it's against the rules of a prison for officers to socialize with ex inmates, but i also know that officers don't have to do a background check if they say hello to someone at the grocery store - OR at their child's daycare.
this is a perfect example of WHY people who have commited crimes can never move on with their lives even if they try. she's a dummy for telling you.
SilverSabre25 04:48 PM 02-12-2011
I don't know, I'm not licensed so I don't know if that would make a difference at all, but even ex-convicts need a chance to move on with their lives and need daycare for their children. I would just continue to treat her the same as always and never mention it again...she's probably wishing like heck that is what will happen because she's feeling like a total moron for having let it slip.
SandeeAR 04:35 PM 02-13-2011
It would depend on what she did. If it was any sort of sex related crime, it is my understanding that she/he can't be within so many feet of any place where there are children. Example: daycare, schools, boys/girls clubs, churches.
kendallina 05:10 PM 02-13-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
i don't really see the issue. her lingering when picking up her child isn't "working with children" so she doesn't need to have a background clearance - unless you are ALLOWING her to work with the children. i don't see how that could happen at drop off/pick ups though
it is not any of your concern that a correctional officer has a child in the same child care as an ex inmate who doesn't even seem to be from the same facility. i'm sure it's against the rules of a prison for officers to socialize with ex inmates, but i also know that officers don't have to do a background check if they say hello to someone at the grocery store - OR at their child's daycare.
this is a perfect example of WHY people who have commited crimes can never move on with their lives even if they try. she's a dummy for telling you.
I agree with this.i don't really see the issue. her lingering when picking up her child isn't "working with children" so she doesn't need to have a background clearance - unless you are ALLOWING her to work with the children. i don't see how that could happen at drop off/pick ups though
it is not any of your concern that a correctional officer has a child in the same child care as an ex inmate who doesn't even seem to be from the same facility. i'm sure it's against the rules of a prison for officers to socialize with ex inmates, but i also know that officers don't have to do a background check if they say hello to someone at the grocery store - OR at their child's daycare.
this is a perfect example of WHY people who have commited crimes can never move on with their lives even if they try. she's a dummy for telling you.
Unregistered 06:18 PM 02-13-2011
Originally Posted by QualiTcare:
i don't really see the issue. her lingering when picking up her child isn't "working with children" so she doesn't need to have a background clearance - unless you are ALLOWING her to work with the children. i don't see how that could happen at drop off/pick ups though
it is not any of your concern that a correctional officer has a child in the same child care as an ex inmate who doesn't even seem to be from the same facility. i'm sure it's against the rules of a prison for officers to socialize with ex inmates, but i also know that officers don't have to do a background check if they say hello to someone at the grocery store - OR at their child's daycare.
this is a perfect example of WHY people who have commited crimes can never move on with their lives even if they try. she's a dummy for telling you.
i absolutely agree. Whatever crime she did, she did her time, it's over and it should not be held over her head any morel. If she were your employee, then yes it would matter, but it shouldn't now. I say kudos to her for getting her life back in order and getting a job!i don't really see the issue. her lingering when picking up her child isn't "working with children" so she doesn't need to have a background clearance - unless you are ALLOWING her to work with the children. i don't see how that could happen at drop off/pick ups though
it is not any of your concern that a correctional officer has a child in the same child care as an ex inmate who doesn't even seem to be from the same facility. i'm sure it's against the rules of a prison for officers to socialize with ex inmates, but i also know that officers don't have to do a background check if they say hello to someone at the grocery store - OR at their child's daycare.
this is a perfect example of WHY people who have commited crimes can never move on with their lives even if they try. she's a dummy for telling you.
momofsix
Unregistered 03:55 AM 02-14-2011
If she has kids in your daycare then she has a right to pick them up/drop off. If she committed a crime so terrible that kids lives were in danger then she wouldn't be allowed access to her own kids thus having no reason to come to your house. And if the DCD who is a corrections officer wears his uniform outside of work he is advertising to everyone what he does not just to ex inmates. I think your making a mountain out of a molehill. Like someone else said you were not concerned until she mentioned it. I wouldnt even think about it again unless you plan to get rid of the family because if you bring it up to her she might just leave anyway.
Cat Herder 04:25 AM 02-14-2011
I have to agree with PP.
If she has served her time and managed to regain full-custody of her child, she has overcome odds that most cannot imagine.
IMHO, she deserves a bit more respect than this.
If she has served her time and managed to regain full-custody of her child, she has overcome odds that most cannot imagine.
IMHO, she deserves a bit more respect than this.
gbcc 04:43 AM 02-14-2011
I don't know about your state, but in mine we can look up online what a person served time for. Try to google it and see what her offense was.
As for the issue. I see both sides of things. Yes, she did her time and she should be able to move on with her life. However.... If it was drug related or sex offense I would want to know. If it was drug related there is always the chance of relapse. If she were to come high to your daycare and she was violent enough to be put in max security, she can be a danger to you or the children at care. If it was a sex offense then she should not step foot in your daycare and she should spend the extra money and hire a nanny or sitter to come to her home. If I found out my child was at a daycare and a sex offender came twice daily I would pull him. Not because I don't trust the provider, but because I wouldn't want the offender getting any ideas about my child. JMHO!
As for the issue. I see both sides of things. Yes, she did her time and she should be able to move on with her life. However.... If it was drug related or sex offense I would want to know. If it was drug related there is always the chance of relapse. If she were to come high to your daycare and she was violent enough to be put in max security, she can be a danger to you or the children at care. If it was a sex offense then she should not step foot in your daycare and she should spend the extra money and hire a nanny or sitter to come to her home. If I found out my child was at a daycare and a sex offender came twice daily I would pull him. Not because I don't trust the provider, but because I wouldn't want the offender getting any ideas about my child. JMHO!
Unregistered 09:58 AM 02-14-2011
I wold do a search on her and find out what she was locked up for. I think that it's within your rights to check. It doesn't mean that she's a bad person, it's just good to be aware of things like that. My concern would be if her conviction was for child abuse or some sort of sexual misconduct conviction.
I am constantly checking for registered sex offenders that might be in my neighborhood.
The DCM doesn't need to know that you're checking up on her, you know. You could just check online and find out without even having to ask her.
I am constantly checking for registered sex offenders that might be in my neighborhood.
The DCM doesn't need to know that you're checking up on her, you know. You could just check online and find out without even having to ask her.
daycare 02:44 PM 02-14-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I wold do a search on her and find out what she was locked up for. I think that it's within your rights to check. It doesn't mean that she's a bad person, it's just good to be aware of things like that. My concern would be if her conviction was for child abuse or some sort of sexual misconduct conviction.
I am constantly checking for registered sex offenders that might be in my neighborhood.
The DCM doesn't need to know that you're checking up on her, you know. You could just check online and find out without even having to ask her.
coming from a background in law enforcment I have to say this.I wold do a search on her and find out what she was locked up for. I think that it's within your rights to check. It doesn't mean that she's a bad person, it's just good to be aware of things like that. My concern would be if her conviction was for child abuse or some sort of sexual misconduct conviction.
I am constantly checking for registered sex offenders that might be in my neighborhood.
The DCM doesn't need to know that you're checking up on her, you know. You could just check online and find out without even having to ask her.
Life is not about where you have been, it is about where you are going.
People do change and where she was in her life before you were in it is no concerns of yours or the other parents.
It seems like you are looking for a reason to see her in a bad way, because she once did something wrong...
I would talk to her about it and set your mind at ease.
QualiTcare 02:45 PM 02-14-2011
if it were a sex offense involving children (which isn't likely) chances are she wouldn't have custody of her own child. i have a cousin who was convicted of a sex offense with a minor - had his pic on the net - the whole nine yards. it was actually consensual sex (but still a crime since the girl wasn't old enough to give consent) and he wasn't allowed to be around his own two girls who were about 3 and 5 at the time. it was a horrible situation bc his girls loved him to death and he would never do anything to them, but those are the consequences.
if it were a drug crime - i don't see why that would matter unless she's walking into the daycare with a stem and some chore boy. if there weren't any concerns before SHE let the information slip then there shouldn't be any now. i'm sure if she did anything worth worrying about then a probation officer along with DCS and the rest of the army would be keeping tabs.
if it were a drug crime - i don't see why that would matter unless she's walking into the daycare with a stem and some chore boy. if there weren't any concerns before SHE let the information slip then there shouldn't be any now. i'm sure if she did anything worth worrying about then a probation officer along with DCS and the rest of the army would be keeping tabs.
Blackcat31 05:41 AM 02-15-2011
I've been just lurking in this thread to see what comments and opinions arise and I gotta add my two cents and say that I have a dcm who works in a recovery/half way house and she refers many many parents my way...even with her own child attending here as well. I have no issue with this. Some of them are recoverying drug/alcohol addicts and some have done some time, but all have made it to the necessary place in their life to move on and do right by their children and society.
Statistics show that if someone was not reabilitated or likely to reoffend they do so within 6 months of their release from prison/jail. This mom, OP is referring to, has obviously done what is required of her and is moving on with her life. Most likely, parents that are in these types of situations are monitored pretty closely and odds are they are better parents than some of the others we vent about on here.
I think the cat has been let out of the bag...accidently; and as a provider and a professional it is your job to look past this information and give this mom the support and benefit of the doubt she deserves. JMHO.
Statistics show that if someone was not reabilitated or likely to reoffend they do so within 6 months of their release from prison/jail. This mom, OP is referring to, has obviously done what is required of her and is moving on with her life. Most likely, parents that are in these types of situations are monitored pretty closely and odds are they are better parents than some of the others we vent about on here.
I think the cat has been let out of the bag...accidently; and as a provider and a professional it is your job to look past this information and give this mom the support and benefit of the doubt she deserves. JMHO.