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mrsnj 06:44 AM 09-12-2013
What not to do..........

Get mad at a daycare parents mother and complain to your friend on a text message....that ends up going to the mother.

I have a child here who is one of my sweetest kids. But the Gmom is a pain in my ass. When it is Gmom day, I cringe. She drops off during naps with no lunch already fed. She brings a ton of crap and gives me a check list of this and that of what everything is that she brought and what I should do, etc. She comes across at an -itch and I do not like her.

Today she arrives at bus time. Now you all know I am already stressed over the whole bus deal going on here. She comes when I have two buses arriving. I have a child crying while waiting and another parent dropping off. The great gmom is also there with her and saying she is afraid of my dog who keeps going up to her and sniffing her. The gmom hands her to me with her usual check list of things, shoving things at me piece by piece, and....complaining I didn't take pics when she brought me the camera a few weeks ago. Hello! She came during a storm! I had no electric. Flooding. Kids are hiding in my basement cause they are saying possible tornados. And she wants me to take pics. No. Didn't take pics! Today she wants me to take pics AND do a clothes change. Seriously? Handing me all this stuff while my first bus is pulling up! I am so busy trying to take everything and listen to what she is saying and get the dog away from the other lady and........that my daughter got on the bus before I could say bye. I felt bad. I was livid. AND to top it all off....the child arrives with a HUGE black and blue mark on her head. I mean HUGE! Oh she fell. Seriously? I would think that would be more important than a change of clothes and pics! HUGE i tell ya. So........

I send off the buses and send mom a note about did she know about the bruise. Then I text my GF who also works daycare. My iphone clicks bk over to the mom and sends. My whooooooooole entire bitch-fest about my morning. Yep. She arrived with poop. She wanted me to take pics. She has a huge knot that I am not taking blame for and sending documentation. Shoving her and the things at me. Etc. Etc. Etc. Oh yeah. Everything.

I call mom to forewarn her about the head injury. Want to know what I should do in regard to icing. Did she want to pick up. Etc. She had her phone off but got the pic I sent. So I figure right about now she will be reading all the rest and going and then figuring no a little

Yeah.....Am thinking it might not be such a good idea to have parents info in my phone.

Can't defend myself on this one. I bitched. I am upset. And she heard it. I can only pray she will say "Yeah. Thats my mom for ya" and let it go. BUT....thinking I just might be short pay next week instead. Not much I can do now but await my punishment.........................

And so starts my day........
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crazydaycarelady 06:59 AM 09-12-2013
Oh no!

I do that sometimes too - I send a message to the last person that I got one from instead of the intended person.

Well, you were just telling the truth! Either they'll stay (and things might get better) or they'll go. Not much you can do about it now so try not to worry (way easier said than done!)
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Crazy8 07:09 AM 09-12-2013
omg, I always get that little panic when I send a text that it didn't go to the wrong person. Sooooo sorry your's actually did!!!

I wouldn't even sit and wait, I would call the mom and would apologize for the bluntness of the text but that you were really frazzled and that this behavior with Gma has to stop or you will have to terminate care. If she turns around and says they are leaving so be it, but I wouldn't allow that to continue even if she shrugs it off and is ok with the text.
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lovemylife 07:12 AM 09-12-2013
I am so sorry! I did something similar and I still feel bad about it 19 months later! I had my son, he was 5 days old at the time. One of my daycare advice forums that was on Facebook asked about parents/payment and their worst excuses. I jokingly complained about a parent saying they will be late because the military changed her husbands pay days. I know for a fact that they never change, some of my friends are in the military. The post wasn't rude or anything just saying that I knew she was lying to me and that really upset me. She could have just told me the truth. She was my first daycare child and I loved her, she was my daughters best friend. I cut my maternity leave from 2 weeks to 1 week to help this mother. Because I loved the family! She came 2 days later and gave me notice. She said you know your daycare advice isn't private and it shows up on my news feed. I apologized a lot! I still think about it. I knew that my friends could see the posts but for some reason I wasn't thinking when I posted it. I think it was post baby hormones.
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Familycare71 07:17 AM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by Crazy8:
omg, I always get that little panic when I send a text that it didn't go to the wrong person. Sooooo sorry your's actually did!!!

I wouldn't even sit and wait, I would call the mom and would apologize for the bluntness of the text but that you were really frazzled and that this behavior with Gma has to stop or you will have to terminate care. If she turns around and says they are leaving so be it, but I wouldn't allow that to continue even if she shrugs it off and is ok with the text.


One time I complained about a mom after getting a phone call from her (off hours I was in the car) but didnt hang up! she never said anything so I didn't know if she heard me or not!
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mrsnj 07:18 AM 09-12-2013
Yeah..........sigh

Thing is it really wasn't written very nicely. Like a rant one would do on here basically with a little sarcasm to flavor. Not just complaining. But complaining with some "Is she joking" and "Seriously" thrown in . Yeah.

At first I was in a panic. Running around going OMG! But seriously. Not much I can do. I was upset. The childs injury should have taken priority. ( She had not even told the mom. Why would you not call and tell her? ) Arriving during buses is not ok and expecting me to stand and ignore them so you can give me your check list of what I should or shouldn't be doing is not cool. This woman just rubs me.

Like you said not much I can do now. I will just pretend nothing happened and move forward. I feel bad but the other half was like...well it was how I felt and the truth of the situation. It is what it is and I can't do anything about it.

Usually I delete messages to DCPs so this doesn't happen. Its not the first time my phone has done that. (just not with DCPs) But this time I wanted it documented until I could speak with mom. I sent it to her and then to my email. *sigh* I think it might be best to go back to old school and use the land line.
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mrsnj 07:26 AM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by lovemylife:
I am so sorry! I did something similar and I still feel bad about it 19 months later! I had my son, he was 5 days old at the time. One of my daycare advice forums that was on Facebook asked about parents/payment and their worst excuses. I jokingly complained about a parent saying they will be late because the military changed her husbands pay days. I know for a fact that they never change, some of my friends are in the military. The post wasn't rude or anything just saying that I knew she was lying to me and that really upset me. She could have just told me the truth. She was my first daycare child and I loved her, she was my daughters best friend. I cut my maternity leave from 2 weeks to 1 week to help this mother. Because I loved the family! She came 2 days later and gave me notice. She said you know your daycare advice isn't private and it shows up on my news feed. I apologized a lot! I still think about it. I knew that my friends could see the posts but for some reason I wasn't thinking when I posted it. I think it was post baby hormones.
OMGoosh!

I am not a big FB fan myself and hesitate to post anything for this reason. I have two groups that are 'private' but truth is that it really isn't. Anyone on my computer can see it and I am always afraid I will say something and someone I don't want seeing it will. I would love to answer how I am feeling when I have a frustrating day but not sure who will notice and report back to whom. (Like my DCP who was bringing their child sick here and posting on FB and someone ratted her out to me!!!) So I post very very little. I never post about DC. Actually I come on here and freak that a parent might be on here and know me!! I am paranoid! I should change my name I think to snotwiper or something
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Rockgirl 07:31 AM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by Crazy8:
omg, I always get that little panic when I send a text that it didn't go to the wrong person. Sooooo sorry your's actually did!!!

I wouldn't even sit and wait, I would call the mom and would apologize for the bluntness of the text but that you were really frazzled and that this behavior with Gma has to stop or you will have to terminate care. If she turns around and says they are leaving so be it, but I wouldn't allow that to continue even if she shrugs it off and is ok with the text.
I'd do this too!
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mrsnj 07:31 AM 09-12-2013
She just texted me. Said she googled on the bruising and feels she will be fine. Said she fell out the door at the Gmoms onto the patio. We talked about to ice or not to ice. That sort of thing. She even joked a bit. Said nothing about my lovely messages. .........yet
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Blackcat31 07:34 AM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by mrsnj:
She just texted me. Said she googled on the bruising and feels she will be fine. Said she fell out the door at the Gmoms onto the patio. We talked about to ice or not to ice. That sort of thing. She even joked a bit. Said nothing about my lovely messages. .........yet
Maybe her mother drives her batty too...
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Cat Herder 07:37 AM 09-12-2013
If she does say something "I hate that you had to find out this way that I am human after all. Your Mom is driving me insane, I am sure you understand." laugh, then move on.

I would not apologize at all... I have a feeling Mom vents to co-workers as well. Why should you not have that right??
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lovemylife 07:42 AM 09-12-2013
Great! Hopefully she doesn't mind and understands you are just venting. I am now very careful about what I post on FB. Even pictures I carefully look over before posting, is my house clean in the background exc. I always try to keep it upbeat and I never complain! For one I hate it when all people post on FB is complaining about how horrible their life is. Daycare forums are completely different! I know I will never make that mistake again!
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mrsnj 07:49 AM 09-12-2013
Or she didn't have time to read them fully

*sigh* I don't think I could make this day any worse.

Cat- Might do that. I mean. Not like I can do much else! LOL!

Oh man. I need to hide in a closet with a big bowl of icecream and make it all go away. LOL
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NeedaVaca 07:54 AM 09-12-2013
It is a bad way to have mom find out but what's done is done and honestly, sometimes things we don't have the nerve to say NEEDS to be said! Let DCM know you are sorry for the way way she found out but in all honesty some changes need to be made. You are not a professional photographer, you are a daycare provider with a schedule and policies that are not being followed.
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itlw8 07:57 AM 09-12-2013
send a text and apologize.. from now only rant in private forums.
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Brustkt 08:50 AM 09-12-2013
I was venting to a friend (fellow provider) about how a dcm once again....dropped her children off after 12:30 and told me that had not had lunch yet. I of course had just finished cleaning up lunch! It was just one of those days, and I had enough! I apologized and explained that I had been venting and that I was sorry she received the text. She was more embarressed than I was and her children were never dropped off again that late without having first been fed. It's still a little awkward, but she just had a baby and is on my waiting list so I guess she got over it!
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Blackcat31 08:57 AM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by mrsnj:
Or she didn't have time to read them fully

*sigh* I don't think I could make this day any worse.

Cat- Might do that. I mean. Not like I can do much else! LOL!

Oh man. I need to hide in a closet with a big bowl of icecream and make it all go away. LOL
Originally Posted by Brustkt:
I was venting to a friend (fellow provider) about how a dcm once again....dropped her children off after 12:30 and told me that had not had lunch yet. I of course had just finished cleaning up lunch! It was just one of those days, and I had enough! I apologized and explained that I had been venting and that I was sorry she received the text. She was more embarressed than I was and her children were never dropped off again that late without having first been fed. It's still a little awkward, but she just had a baby and is on my waiting list so I guess she got over it!
When a parent (or their relative) doesn't follow daycare rules/policies and is sometimes MORE work than it's worth, why is it the provider who is left feeling guilty???

~ MrsJ, NO WAY would I feel bad about venting to this mom (whether on purpose or accidentally) when the issues you are venting about should be HER problem and NOT yours.....

I would take this opportunity to say "Hey, you know DCM, I may not have vented in the most professional way but as long as we're on the subject there are a few things that need to be addressed."
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MotherNature 09:05 AM 09-12-2013
oops! But hopefully she'll totally have your back, especially since GM didn't even tell her about the injury.
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Laurel 09:19 AM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by Crazy8:
omg, I always get that little panic when I send a text that it didn't go to the wrong person. Sooooo sorry your's actually did!!!

I wouldn't even sit and wait, I would call the mom and would apologize for the bluntness of the text but that you were really frazzled and that this behavior with Gma has to stop or you will have to terminate care. If she turns around and says they are leaving so be it, but I wouldn't allow that to continue even if she shrugs it off and is ok with the text.


I would also be proactive about it.

Laurel
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Emsdayhome 09:33 AM 09-12-2013
uuuugggggh. that's so uncomfortable!! mom might not get mad though.....we all vent once in a while. We all have bad mornings and sometimes, people just rub us the wrong way. She probably has people like that in her life too. Maybe she'll talk to her mom and say something about it, like to back off a bit and let you do your job...maybe she'll pull her kid out...but really- simple mistake but you're allowed to vent once in a while.

hugs! hope it all works out!
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Cradle2crayons 09:42 AM 09-12-2013
http://media.photobucket.com/image/o...on/mw_oops.gif

WELP. Here's the positives

(1) dcm knows her mom better than anybody and chances are the same exact thing happens between em.

(2) dcm is stressed and frustrated about her mom and has never gotten the chance to tell someone quite like you did

(3) we are all human and need to vent.

(4) at least it's out in the open now!!


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butterfly 10:10 AM 09-12-2013

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melilley 10:21 AM 09-12-2013


I once sent a text to a dcm that was meant for my husband. I had asked him to bring home some gloves because I just got sh** on my hands! I was so embarrassed and apologized, but the mom just laughed and said "well now I know you are human"...lol

Needless to say, I now try to remember to delete any texts that I have made to parents so it doesn't happen again!
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lovemylife 10:22 AM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by melilley:


I once sent a text to a dcm that was meant for my husband. I had asked him to bring home some gloves because I just got sh** on my hands! I was so embarrassed and apologized, but the mom just laughed and said "well now I know you are human"...lol

Needless to say, I now try to remember to delete any texts that I have made to parents so it doesn't happen again!

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coolconfidentme 10:40 AM 09-12-2013
I have a friend named Ashley & a DCM named Ashley. I texted my friend (I thought) & asked her, "Is it wine o'clock yet cause its whine o'clock here!!!" DCM got the text.

GULP!!!
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Leigh 10:46 AM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by melilley:


I once sent a text to a dcm that was meant for my husband. I had asked him to bring home some gloves because I just got sh** on my hands! I was so embarrassed and apologized, but the mom just laughed and said "well now I know you are human"...lol

Needless to say, I now try to remember to delete any texts that I have made to parents so it doesn't happen again!
I once got one FROM my daycare provider telling me to pick up her son from school on my way home. I called her to see if her son needed a ride (I was happy to pick him up, as the school was on my way), she was SO embarrassed-the text was meant for her husband, too.
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MamaBear 10:52 AM 09-12-2013
Omg... I did something very similar last weekend and I still feel like such an idiot for doing it.

I had a daycare mom come 15 minutes late to pick up her daughter... on a Friday. Not cool. But she felt super bad about it and gave me the late fee. Well the next day I was texting back & forth with my fellow daycare provider friend and I said "Did I tell you that DCG's mom was totally late picking up yesterday?"

As SOON as I hit send I realized that I sent it to THAT Mom!!! UGHHHH! I had to fix it asap. So I sent another one and said "HAHAHA - Just messing with you! You weren't THAT late - LOL" But then she didn't respond for like an hour which drove me insane.

When she did, she said "Oh my gosh - you're teasing me! I'm so sorry I was late" and I said "oh yeah I was just messing with you! Sorry I have a sick sense of humor! hahaha"... Well she totally bought it and went with it.

UGH. Since then, every time I get a text message from a parent, I respond and then delete it. I need to not vent on there anyway in case that happens again.

Anyways - I feel your pain! I know its so embarassing. But then again - they were the ones that were wrong in the first place... we just kinda let them know that they screwed up in an awkward way lol
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Maria2013 10:53 AM 09-12-2013
Sorry but I would not put up with ANY of the things you mentioned....when the kids are in my care, only "I" decide what, when, where and how, parents may ask me for a favor but certainly do not show up at my house with check lists
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daycarediva 11:29 AM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by Crazy8:
omg, I always get that little panic when I send a text that it didn't go to the wrong person. Sooooo sorry your's actually did!!!

I wouldn't even sit and wait, I would call the mom and would apologize for the bluntness of the text but that you were really frazzled and that this behavior with Gma has to stop or you will have to terminate care. If she turns around and says they are leaving so be it, but I wouldn't allow that to continue even if she shrugs it off and is ok with the text.
this is what I would do, too.

Originally Posted by Familycare71:


One time I complained about a mom after getting a phone call from her (off hours I was in the car) but didnt hang up! she never said anything so I didn't know if she heard me or not!
bahaha! I had a dcp butt dial me after pick up and heard her question (nicely, not like interrogate) dcb about his day and I listened in and she realized the phone was on and said "hello?" hahaha, that's what *I* get for eavesdropping. (I hung up)

Originally Posted by coolconfidentme:
I have a friend named Ashley & a DCM named Ashley. I texted my friend (I thought) & asked her, "Is it wine o'clock yet cause its whine o'clock here!!!" DCM got the text.

GULP!!!
what did dcm say? I accidentally sent a text to a dcm once meant for my husband (their names are off by ONE letter) and it was um, racy. She sent me a racy one back. Still my coolest dcm ever.

Same dcm dropped off dcb and said "I apologize in advance for the whine-ese. Apparantly his language changed overnight. She brought me WINE with a note that said "It's WHINE-DAY, have some WINE!"
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melilley 11:38 AM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
this is what I would do, too.






what did dcm say? I accidentally sent a text to a dcm once meant for my husband (their names are off by ONE letter) and it was um, racy. She sent me a racy one back. Still my coolest dcm ever.

Same dcm dropped off dcb and said "I apologize in advance for the whine-ese. Apparantly his language changed overnight. She brought me WINE with a note that said "It's WHINE-DAY, have some WINE!"
Awesome!
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Blackcat31 11:43 AM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by melilley:


I once sent a text to a dcm that was meant for my husband. I had asked him to bring home some gloves because I just got sh** on my hands! I was so embarrassed and apologized, but the mom just laughed and said "well now I know you are human"...lol

Needless to say, I now try to remember to delete any texts that I have made to parents so it doesn't happen again!
I had been talking to my OWN husband on the phone back and forth all morning the other day....

In between calls a DCD called me to see if his child was doing ok.... when I was saying good bye, I said "No problem. I'll talk to you later, I love you!"

I didn't even realize that I had said it until AFTER I hung up

The funniest part though is that he said "love you too!" in response....

When he came to pick up HE was embarrassed because he thought he initiated it...we both just laughed.... obviously telling our spouses we loved them was how we both ended our calls when speaking to them.
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mrsnj 11:57 AM 09-12-2013


This post is making my day. Besides the fact I am not alone it is great hearing the stories!!
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Angelsj 11:58 AM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I had been talking to my OWN husband on the phone back and forth all morning the other day....

In between calls a DCD called me to see if his child was doing ok.... when I was saying good bye, I said "No problem. I'll talk to you later, I love you!"

I didn't even realize that I had said it until AFTER I hung up

The funniest part though is that he said "love you too!" in response....

When he came to pick up HE was embarrassed because he thought he initiated it...we both just laughed.... obviously telling our spouses we loved them was how we both ended our calls when speaking to them.
I have done that. They didn't respond though. After I hung up...oh my!! They also did not mention it later, which I thought was very nice.
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MissAnn 05:42 PM 09-12-2013
Here's mine......

A dad brought his daughter in. He baby talked that 3 year old to the point that I felt nauseous. I had to escape. I did...around the corner and into my playroom where I had a silent tantrum. Arms flailing, feet stompimg and screaming silently. I looked up. Uh oh. I forgot I have a camera system and dad was watching my scene on the big screen. Oops.
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msblake 05:45 PM 09-12-2013
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
Here's mine......

A dad brought his daughter in. He baby talked that 3 year old to the point that I felt nauseous. I had to escape. I did...around the corner and into my playroom where I had a silent tantrum. Arms flailing, feet stompimg and screaming silently. I looked up. Uh oh. I forgot I have a camera system and dad was watching my scene on the big screen. Oops.

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msblake 05:46 PM 09-12-2013
Did mom say anything to you?
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Meeko 06:46 AM 09-13-2013
This thread is making me happy that I am still in the dark ages and don't text at all!
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Familycare71 08:00 AM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by mrsnj:
OMGoosh!

I am not a big FB fan myself and hesitate to post anything for this reason. I have two groups that are 'private' but truth is that it really isn't. Anyone on my computer can see it and I am always afraid I will say something and someone I don't want seeing it will. I would love to answer how I am feeling when I have a frustrating day but not sure who will notice and report back to whom. (Like my DCP who was bringing their child sick here and posting on FB and someone ratted her out to me!!!) So I post very very little. I never post about DC. Actually I come on here and freak that a parent might be on here and know me!! I am paranoid! I should change my name I think to snotwiper or something
. I am paranoid too that one day a family will find me on here- lol
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lovemylife 08:22 AM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by Familycare71:
. I am paranoid too that one day a family will find me on here- lol
Me too!!
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mrsnj 09:25 AM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
Here's mine......

A dad brought his daughter in. He baby talked that 3 year old to the point that I felt nauseous. I had to escape. I did...around the corner and into my playroom where I had a silent tantrum. Arms flailing, feet stompimg and screaming silently. I looked up. Uh oh. I forgot I have a camera system and dad was watching my scene on the big screen. Oops.
Ok that gave me a laugh! LOL! Just the vision of it! LOL!

No. Mom said nothing! I was rather shocked. I know I would have. NOT that I am complaining (I did that yesterday )Maybe she took it as "Well thats my mom for ya" or that maybe I was having a bad day. The fact that I mentioned her (the mom) name in the text, I doubt she could assume I was just venting to her. It was clear it was meant for someone else. But, whatever. All I can say right now. LOL! I will take it. And learn from it. I hope!
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Blackcat31 11:06 AM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by mrsnj:
OMGoosh!

I am not a big FB fan myself and hesitate to post anything for this reason. I have two groups that are 'private' but truth is that it really isn't. Anyone on my computer can see it and I am always afraid I will say something and someone I don't want seeing it will. I would love to answer how I am feeling when I have a frustrating day but not sure who will notice and report back to whom. (Like my DCP who was bringing their child sick here and posting on FB and someone ratted her out to me!!!) So I post very very little. I never post about DC. Actually I come on here and freak that a parent might be on here and know me!! I am paranoid! I should change my name I think to snotwiper or something
Originally Posted by Familycare71:
. I am paranoid too that one day a family will find me on here- lol
Originally Posted by lovemylife:
Me too!!
Why?

Statements like these always confuse me..... Unless you are venting in a mean or not-so-nice way or saying really nasty things about something, why would anyone be afraid that a daycare family "finds" them on this site?

Just like in real life, I try to never say anything outloud (or in print) that I would not be willing to own.

Am I opinionated or judgmental? I suppose at times I absolutely am. I also suppose I come across that way when I don't mean too but still I never ever set out to make someone look bad or say anything just to be mean...

I actually encourage my daycare families to use/visit this site. I have sent my licensor the link as well as several provider friends too. This site is a GREAT wealth of knowledge and perspective from both parents and providers. It is much too valuable to keep to myself.

My daycare families (past and present) know who I am here and if any of them ever read anything I write/say, they know I will own 100% of everything I said.

It just makes me feel bad that so many providers are scared that their DCF's might "find" them here...
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butterfly 11:12 AM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Why?

Statements like these always confuse me..... Unless you are venting in a mean or not-so-nice way or saying really nasty things about something, why would anyone be afraid that a daycare family "finds" them on this site?

Just like in real life, I try to never say anything outloud (or in print) that I would not be willing to own.

Am I opinionated or judgmental? I suppose at times I absolutely am. I also suppose I come across that way when I don't mean too but still I never ever set out to make someone look bad or say anything just to be mean...

I actually encourage my daycare families to use/visit this site. I have sent my licensor the link as well as several provider friends too. This site is a GREAT wealth of knowledge and perspective from both parents and providers. It is much too valuable to keep to myself.

My daycare families (past and present) know who I am here and if any of them ever read anything I write/say, they know I will own 100% of everything I said.

It just makes me feel bad that so many providers are scared that their DCF's might "find" them here...
For me it's not that I wouldn't want to own what I've said. It's the fact that I don't want the parents to think I'm online all day instead of watching their kids. Due to the date/time stamp on posts it can look like I'm not "working". I typically sign on during cleanup times or when I'm sitting outside while the kids are playing independently.
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Blackcat31 11:19 AM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by butterfly:
For me it's not that I wouldn't want to own what I've said. It's the fact that I don't want the parents to think I'm online all day instead of watching their kids. Due to the date/time stamp on posts it can look like I'm not "working". I typically sign on during cleanup times or when I'm sitting outside while the kids are playing independently.
That makes sense.

I guess I handle that by making sure my parents know that my PC is on all day. It's used for documentation, communication and information.

I don't sit in front of it all day, but I definitely am on-line on and off throughout the day.

I post when I have free hands.

My DCK's also play independently and I supervise, support and oversee. I don't often do activities that require my continuous involvement....but I can see how that doesn't work in some programs.

FWIW~ I was in NO way implying that everyone should be an open book.... we all do things differently and in ways that work for us....

I was just sad to read about the paranoia. I guess I just feel like it shouldn't be that way..... kwim? Guarded, private and vague...yes.... but not paranoid. That's for when you KNOW you did something wrong and are now afraid someone will find out.
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lovemylife 11:24 AM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Why?

Statements like these always confuse me..... Unless you are venting in a mean or not-so-nice way or saying really nasty things about something, why would anyone be afraid that a daycare family "finds" them on this site?

Just like in real life, I try to never say anything outloud (or in print) that I would not be willing to own.

Am I opinionated or judgmental? I suppose at times I absolutely am. I also suppose I come across that way when I don't mean too but still I never ever set out to make someone look bad or say anything just to be mean...

I actually encourage my daycare families to use/visit this site. I have sent my licensor the link as well as several provider friends too. This site is a GREAT wealth of knowledge and perspective from both parents and providers. It is much too valuable to keep to myself.

My daycare families (past and present) know who I am here and if any of them ever read anything I write/say, they know I will own 100% of everything I said.

It just makes me feel bad that so many providers are scared that their DCF's might "find" them here...

I personally have lost a family because of venting about something that they did and its wasnt in a mean way. I don't want it to happen again. Everyone vents about their job but people expect daycare providers to be perfect and always be happy. At least in my experience. My mother made a good point to me awhile back. Daycare providers are comparable to pastors wives. Always have to be on their best behavior. Sometimes they forget that we are human too. Venting on here makes me feel a little more human and less like someone is watching my every move during or after business hours.
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Tdhmom 11:32 AM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by melilley:


I once sent a text to a dcm that was meant for my husband. I had asked him to bring home some gloves because I just got sh** on my hands! I was so embarrassed and apologized, but the mom just laughed and said "well now I know you are human"...lol

Needless to say, I now try to remember to delete any texts that I have made to parents so it doesn't happen again!
Omg I died laughing at this!!! Too funny! I send one that was meant for my husband and send it to a dcm (both names start with D) about not having sick kids here next flu season and dcm (said her name!) did not like it at all cause her kid is the one getting us all sick!
As soon as I hit send I paced the living room until she wrote back. She never did. I was mortified!!!!
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Blackcat31 11:32 AM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by lovemylife:
I personally have lost a family because of venting about something that they did and its wasnt in a mean way. I don't want it to happen again. Everyone vents about their job but people expect daycare providers to be perfect and always be happy. At least in my experience. My mother made a good point to me awhile back. Daycare providers are comparable to pastors wives. Always have to be on their best behavior. Sometimes they forget that we are human too. Venting on here makes me feel a little more human and less like someone is watching my every move during or after business hours.
I am sorry that happened to you. I thin it was wrong on the parents part though to be willing to give up a care provider that they obviously trusted just because you were human....

Maybe YOU are the winner in that scenario as a family that is not that understanding would probably not be a client you want to keep anyways.

You are right about the way the general public views child care providers. It's kind of a shame to be stereotyped....

Funny how wrong stereo types can be.... For example, most people would definitely think that if you are a child care provider, you do it because you just loooove kids and have known this was your calling since birth.....

.....Well, not me. I love my job but I never meant to be a child care provider and I definitely do NOT love all children. ) That might sound mean, but I don't mean it that way...I am just being honest.

Thanks for clarifying your reasons though about wanting to remain anonymous.
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lovemylife 01:10 PM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
You are right about the way the general public views child care providers. It's kind of a shame to be stereotyped....

Funny how wrong stereo types can be.... For example, most people would definitely think that if you are a child care provider, you do it because you just loooove kids and have known this was your calling since birth.....

I really dislike being stereotyped! But I am one of those providers! I was born to raise kids and to work with children! My mom has always told me it is a God given gift and she knew I would work with children from the time I was 2. So in that way I am apart of the stereotype But I also don't love all children, I don't think anyone does. Otherwise we would never term a family. IMO
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mema 01:37 PM 09-13-2013
I sent a text meant for my mom about my sister-to my sister. She let my dd sit in the front seat of her car, down the highway, for 80 miles-going 75mph without a car seat #1 and #2 she is 9 and weighs 55 lbs-not meant to be in the front. I was trying to let off steam to my mom before confronting my sister about it-didn't work out that way.
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sharlan 01:41 PM 09-13-2013
Not too long ago, I received a text from a dad that was supposed to go to his ex-wife. He was talking about them having phone sex. I sent him a text back "????? I don't think this was meant for me!". He was so mortified when he picked up that day, couldn't even look me in the eyes.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 01:49 PM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by lovemylife:
I personally have lost a family because of venting about something that they did and its wasnt in a mean way. I don't want it to happen again. Everyone vents about their job but people expect daycare providers to be perfect and always be happy. At least in my experience. My mother made a good point to me awhile back. Daycare providers are comparable to pastors wives. Always have to be on their best behavior. Sometimes they forget that we are human too. Venting on here makes me feel a little more human and less like someone is watching my every move during or after business hours.
I definitely feel like that. We are held to an extremely high standard.

As for this thread ... it has given me a case of the giggles. I've sent an accidental text message before to a family I nannied for in the past and used the word "douchebag." I was so embarrassed that I haven't used that word again since. LOL!
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mrsnj 02:31 PM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by sharlan:
Not too long ago, I received a text from a dad that was supposed to go to his ex-wife. He was talking about them having phone sex. I sent him a text back "????? I don't think this was meant for me!". He was so mortified when he picked up that day, couldn't even look me in the eyes.
too funny!!!!

For me blackcat I think I should be allowed to talk openly about my job like my parents talk openly to coworkers about theirs. I don't have co workers but on here I have others who understand, support, offer ideas, comfort and to laugh with. This is my world and I think that some part of my life deserves some sort of privacy. I do not befriend clients on fb. And would not suggest here. I open my house to them and my family but I like having a place that isn't an open book.
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Blackcat31 02:51 PM 09-13-2013
Originally Posted by mrsnj:

For me blackcat I think I should be allowed to talk openly about my job like my parents talk openly to coworkers about theirs. I don't have co workers but on here I have others who understand, support, offer ideas, comfort and to laugh with. This is my world and I think that some part of my life deserves some sort of privacy. I do not befriend clients on fb. And would not suggest here. I open my house to them and my family but I like having a place that isn't an open book.
Fair enough. I can see how that would be beneficial to you then.

like I said before, I hope I am not implying to anyone that you HAVE to be an open book....I am just wondering what everyone's reasons are for being private, paranoid and/or nervous about a parent or client finding out their on-line info here.

We all do things differently and in a manner that works for us....this includes whether or not we are incognito, anonymous or wide open here....so, to each his/her own...

It's all good.
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Tags:daycare experiences, funny, mishaps, opps, texting
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