Daycare.com Forum
Parents and Guardians Forum>Question For In-Home Providers Regarding Hitting & Pushing
VirginiaMom 04:54 AM 10-22-2013
Background:
My daughter is 2.5 and has been attending the same home daycare since she was 3 months old. The owner and her two assistants love her, my husband and I love them, and our dd has thrived there and loves going to 'school'. She was the first infant at the daycare and I know was spoiled rotten (in a good way!) with lots of attention and love and care.
Now that she's 2.5, she obviously doesn't have the same needs as a 9 month old or even a 1 year old...she's bigger and can do more on her own, but I think she's really struggling with it.
A few new younger kids have started at the daycare over the past few months and my daughter has been hitting and pushing them. It has gotten worse over the last week. She only pushes/hits the younger ones and I really believe it's because they get the attention that she used to get. Please don't get me wrong - I'm not blaming the daycare because like I said, she doesn't require the same amount of hands-on as the little ones - but I don't know of any other explanation as to why she would only hit the younger (and new) kids. She plays great with her other friends and when we take her to play areas or playgrounds, she plays well with kids she doesn't know. She takes turns, doesn't push, doesn't get angry...it's only at daycare and only with the younger/new kids. She doesn't push or hit me or my husband and we have never hit her or spanked her. She was also nearly potty trained and when the newest little one year old started, she regressed and will barely use the potty now.
I'm also pregnant and baby 2 is coming at the end of the month. I don't know if my daughter senses that changes are coming at this age or if it is coincidence. She does not ever hit my belly or say anything mean about the baby coming. She talks about her baby sister coming soon but that's about it. Others have pointed out that the new baby could be the source of her frustration and aggression but I am not sure.
I don't take any of this lightly and have been worried sick since it started. I am working with daycare to have some consequences at home for her behavior and not being nice to her friends, but I'm not sure how effective it is/will be. Does a 2.5 year old really understand that she can't have or play with XYY at 5pm because she hit her friend at 9am?
So...all of that being said - here are my questions:
1. Is hitting/pushing enough to kick a toddler out of daycare? When is it a 'phase' and when is it too much? I understand it will vary by provider but am just looking for some opinions.
2. What are some other ways daycare and I can work together to encourage her to be nice to all of her friends at school?
3. If you have any ideas or insight and advice, please feel free to share with me. I am learning as I go since she is my first child. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this daycare and my worst fear is that she'll get kicked out
Thank you for reading!
My daughter is 2.5 and has been attending the same home daycare since she was 3 months old. The owner and her two assistants love her, my husband and I love them, and our dd has thrived there and loves going to 'school'. She was the first infant at the daycare and I know was spoiled rotten (in a good way!) with lots of attention and love and care.
Now that she's 2.5, she obviously doesn't have the same needs as a 9 month old or even a 1 year old...she's bigger and can do more on her own, but I think she's really struggling with it.
A few new younger kids have started at the daycare over the past few months and my daughter has been hitting and pushing them. It has gotten worse over the last week. She only pushes/hits the younger ones and I really believe it's because they get the attention that she used to get. Please don't get me wrong - I'm not blaming the daycare because like I said, she doesn't require the same amount of hands-on as the little ones - but I don't know of any other explanation as to why she would only hit the younger (and new) kids. She plays great with her other friends and when we take her to play areas or playgrounds, she plays well with kids she doesn't know. She takes turns, doesn't push, doesn't get angry...it's only at daycare and only with the younger/new kids. She doesn't push or hit me or my husband and we have never hit her or spanked her. She was also nearly potty trained and when the newest little one year old started, she regressed and will barely use the potty now.
I'm also pregnant and baby 2 is coming at the end of the month. I don't know if my daughter senses that changes are coming at this age or if it is coincidence. She does not ever hit my belly or say anything mean about the baby coming. She talks about her baby sister coming soon but that's about it. Others have pointed out that the new baby could be the source of her frustration and aggression but I am not sure.
I don't take any of this lightly and have been worried sick since it started. I am working with daycare to have some consequences at home for her behavior and not being nice to her friends, but I'm not sure how effective it is/will be. Does a 2.5 year old really understand that she can't have or play with XYY at 5pm because she hit her friend at 9am?
So...all of that being said - here are my questions:
1. Is hitting/pushing enough to kick a toddler out of daycare? When is it a 'phase' and when is it too much? I understand it will vary by provider but am just looking for some opinions.
2. What are some other ways daycare and I can work together to encourage her to be nice to all of her friends at school?
3. If you have any ideas or insight and advice, please feel free to share with me. I am learning as I go since she is my first child. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this daycare and my worst fear is that she'll get kicked out
Thank you for reading!