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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>CONSTANT Fighting
sahm2three 07:31 AM 09-20-2012
I have two 2 year olds who fight from the second they are in the same room together. They take things from eachother, even if it isn't something they would normally play with. For instance, the little girl will run and grab the boys favorite truck. And just hold it. Not play with it, just hold it while she plays with the baby dolls. So how do I deal with that? Tell her if she isn't going to play with it she needs to go put it away? And the boy, he will put his trucks in the girls favorite stroller and taunt her with it by pushing it right up to her and when she goes to touch it he pulls it away fast. They are being brats! I have them both in corners right now, and they have only been here 10 minutes. I am so tired of the constant fighting. It doesn't matter if we are doing group projects, they fight. We can be coloring, and I have a huge box of colors and they will fight over ONE crayon. It's ridiculous. How do I curb the fighting????
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SilverSabre25 07:40 AM 09-20-2012
They are two, and twos are learning about interpersonal relationships...they have not yet made the leap from parallel to cooperative play and they just do. not. understand. how to play WITH someone.

"I see you are holding that truck. Are you using it while you play with the babies? No? Okay, then we need to put it on the shelf so someone else can use it."

"Johnny, it looks like you're teasing her with the stroller, that's not okay. Please drive the stroller in a different space."

For coloring, give them each their own end of the table (far from each other) and their own pile/box/container of crayons. "Here, these are yours to use. If you need a color you don't have there let me know and we'll try to find one for you."

"I see you two are having trouble playing nicely. Go play in different spaces and leave each other alone."
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sahm2three 07:46 AM 09-20-2012
I am constantly saying things like this to them. But I guess I just don't understand why anyone, even a little 2 year old, would CHOOSE to fight. It upsets them both, so why do they do it? And they show up the same time so they both go into the daycare area at the same time and it's like a routine now that they will both run up to what the other wants and turn and wait for a reaction! I do believe they GET that they are both out to irritate the other. I spend my entire day trying to either keep them in opposite parts of the room or trying to referree between them. It is so tiresome! I wish I had two seperate rooms, because they get along with the other kids their age, its just these two kids. Ugh.
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lovemykidstoo 08:17 AM 09-20-2012
Originally Posted by sahm2three:
It upsets them both, so why do they do it? Ugh.
Why do they do it? Because they're 2 and they can! LOL!
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cheerfuldom 08:19 AM 09-20-2012
Originally Posted by sahm2three:
I am constantly saying things like this to them. But I guess I just don't understand why anyone, even a little 2 year old, would CHOOSE to fight. It upsets them both, so why do they do it? And they show up the same time so they both go into the daycare area at the same time and it's like a routine now that they will both run up to what the other wants and turn and wait for a reaction! I do believe they GET that they are both out to irritate the other. I spend my entire day trying to either keep them in opposite parts of the room or trying to referree between them. It is so tiresome! I wish I had two seperate rooms, because they get along with the other kids their age, its just these two kids. Ugh.
I would stop referring. I take toys away and put the toys in timeout if the kids are fighting. If they still cant control themselves, we sit in a chair until we are ready to be a good friend to others. Of course it is important to model the right behavior and words for them, but at a certain point, they just need to stop. I have a 2 year right now that is like this and really cant handling playing with anyone for now. She has a long way to go. She receives instructions and directions but if she still cant cool it, I put a chair right next to me and thats where she stays until she can chill out and stop being such a maniac LOL There is no time limit, just whenever they are ready to play nicely. Now I just have to tell her "do you need to sit down for awhile?" as a reminder that playing with friends is a privilege. I have had to pull out multiple chairs too on some really rough days with the group
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sharlan 08:20 AM 09-20-2012
Originally Posted by sahm2three:
I am constantly saying things like this to them. But I guess I just don't understand why anyone, even a little 2 year old, would CHOOSE to fight. It upsets them both, so why do they do it? And they show up the same time so they both go into the daycare area at the same time and it's like a routine now that they will both run up to what the other wants and turn and wait for a reaction! I do believe they GET that they are both out to irritate the other. I spend my entire day trying to either keep them in opposite parts of the room or trying to referree between them. It is so tiresome! I wish I had two seperate rooms, because they get along with the other kids their age, its just these two kids. Ugh.
When you find the answer to that, let me know. My 4 and 5 yo grandsons are the best of friends and the worst of enemies. The constant fighting drives me crazy. They were both home from school yesterday and spent most of the day sitting on seperate sofas. Everytime I let them up, the the hitting, kicking, grabbing of toys started.
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cheerfuldom 08:23 AM 09-20-2012
Originally Posted by sharlan:
When you find the answer to that, let me know. My 4 and 5 yo grandsons are the best of friends and the worst of enemies. The constant fighting drives me crazy. They were both home from school yesterday and spent most of the day sitting on seperate sofas. Everytime I let them up, the the hitting, kicking, grabbing of toys started.
yeah it gets really fun when siblings are school age.....my 3 and 4 year old daughters are absolutely "fre-enemies" LOL
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sahm2three 08:36 AM 09-20-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I would stop referring. I take toys away and put the toys in timeout if the kids are fighting. If they still cant control themselves, we sit in a chair until we are ready to be a good friend to others. Of course it is important to model the right behavior and words for them, but at a certain point, they just need to stop. I have a 2 year right now that is like this and really cant handling playing with anyone for now. She has a long way to go. She receives instructions and directions but if she still cant cool it, I put a chair right next to me and thats where she stays until she can chill out and stop being such a maniac LOL There is no time limit, just whenever they are ready to play nicely. Now I just have to tell her "do you need to sit down for awhile?" as a reminder that playing with friends is a privilege. I have had to pull out multiple chairs too on some really rough days with the group
I have done the toy time out thing too. That doesn't really work, they just move onto something else. And once they are in fight mode, it doesn't matter if they really want the toy/item or not, they are going to fight over whatever. I had them both in reflection for quite a while this morning (each just sitting in a bean bag chair chilling), and pretty soon it was them making faces and eachother or mimicking noises the other was making (even though they are supposed to be quiet while in reflection). Ugh. I want my mommy!
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sahm2three 08:42 AM 09-20-2012
Ugh, and I forgot to mention that the two of them both refuse to clean up, so they lost a bunch of toys today that they were playing with. I honestly feel like I am losing control here. They know I have nothing but time outs and taking things away. Only thing I can think of to do next is set them at the craft table and only give them one toy at a time. They both used to clean up and now refuse. Ugh. I need a vacation.
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sharlan 08:44 AM 09-20-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
yeah it gets really fun when siblings are school age.....my 3 and 4 year old daughters are absolutely "fre-enemies" LOL
Mine have been this way since before the youngest one walked.
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cheerfuldom 08:45 AM 09-20-2012
Originally Posted by sahm2three:
Ugh, and I forgot to mention that the two of them both refuse to clean up, so they lost a bunch of toys today that they were playing with. I honestly feel like I am losing control here. They know I have nothing but time outs and taking things away. Only thing I can think of to do next is set them at the craft table and only give them one toy at a time. They both used to clean up and now refuse. Ugh. I need a vacation.
oh my gosh...yeah they are absolutely combining forces. seriously if it was this bad, i would put them on opposite sides of the room, facing away from each other, with the view of each other blocked. sounds like you are really going to have to get tough with each of them. its so hard when multiple 2 years olds are both going thru the little pest phase (or that is what I call it)....bugging everyone and acting like little terrors.
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WImom 11:05 AM 09-20-2012
Originally Posted by sharlan:
Mine have been this way since before the youngest one walked.
Yeap - Mine too - they are 9.5 and almost 8y. Teenage years are going to suck!
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