My wife has a DCB around 16 months old. This DCB mother is the "problem mother" for my wife (the husband is as nice as can be). This mother and her husband both have bad asthma. The DCB came to my wife around 3 months old. He was wheezing a lot and the parents would always ignore my wife when she brought it up.

Finally one day Grandma showed up for pick up (DCB mom's mother). My wife mentioned the wheezing to her and in response the grandmother is the one that told my wife that both of DCB parents had bad asthma. She also told my wife she thought she needed an intervention with the parents as they just refused to get him tested for asthma or put him on any asthma medications. Grandma was not happy at all and VERY frustrated.

Fast forward to yesterday, 9 months later. The mother has finally taken DCB to doctor for potential asthma and guess what..... he has it. DUH! She dropped him off yesterday and told my wife he has asthma and there is medication/inhaler in his bag but she did NOT want my wife to give it to him.

When my wife told me this later I freaked as this is the mother that is always trying to dominate my wife, change DC rules at her leisure to suit her, lies without conscious ect ect (I'm sure you all know the type). Should my wife get something in writing, signed, from this mother instructing my wife not to give him any asthma medication? I'm definitely concerned....

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If it is an emergency inhaler, then it is just a preventative measure and should not be given daily. More than likely the child is on a 12/24 hour control med taken at home. The asthma would not be my primary concern.

My concern would be that this client has created enough stress in your family for you to be concerned (that is assuming the daycare is not your primary job?).

Honestly, if this DCM is causing that much drama consistently, I'd just begin advertising for a new client and cut them loose.

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I don't give any prescription medication without a written label and specific instructions from the doctor as to how to administer it.

Are there any labels or instructions directing you as to how your wife is supposed to use the medications and in what event?


If not I'd be turning them away at the door until I had that in hand. He has a diagnosis now, and she needs to have that information to know how to properly care for a his medical condition.

If I had it I would instruct parents I ALWAYS use as directed (in this situation I'd emphasize - whether parents like it or not). Not doing so is tantamount to neglect and possibly endangerment in the case of an asthma attack, it would leave you liable to lose your license and his parents liable to lose custody of their child.

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I would be asking for specific instructions on the medication and it's use. When to give it, how to give it and how much. If DCP's haven't offered up this information don't let the boy come until they do!

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My son has asthma - as these parents have experience with it their behavior is shocking! My son had to use a nebulizer when he was that age, he only recently moved to an inhaler with a special mask & spacer.
It takes experience with a little one to know when & how to treat an attack...if this child has been wheezing there are already breathing difficulties
Good luck - I doubt I would be able to work with a family who showed so little concern for their child's well being

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I doubt he's taking any medication for it, that's what scary. The mother simply refuses to give him any so it's probably for an emergency type of situation only.

Yes, she has created quite a few problems from the get go. I've told my wife to get rid of her but her kid is pretty easy so she doesn't want to. It's not worth it IMO but it's not my business so...

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Smart man

It is sweet to worry about her, but if she has her mind made up not to term the only thing you guys can do is document any asthma attacks, take a pediatric CPR training class or two (Pediatric Airway Management would be your best choice, IMHO) and hope for the best.

I have a sneaky suspicion that Grandma wont give up so easy, just wait her out a bit.

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While I respect that you respect your wife, if I'm operating out of my family's home I feel my husband has a right to some level of say on certain things too.


What is your family's risk when it comes to your wife caring for a medically neglected child?

If he has an asthma attack in your home, under her watch, and she has no permission or ability to administer his prescribed medications....then what?

Add to that, as a mandated reporter she's putting her license in potential jeopardy. It's not just abuse but neglect that is required to be reported to the state. If she knows he has a medical condition and he is suffering because his parents are refusing to treat it, she is a party to that neglect.

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I would let the parent know that if she is not allowing me to administer meds, that each time her child has an asthma attack I will be calling 911. At that point her child would be transported via ambulance to the hospital where Mom would be required to meet up with the ambulance, as I am unable to ride with her child. I would get it in writing from the parent that this is the plan of action should her child have an asthma attack. I would also let Mom know that I would be contacting CPS to make sure that this was acceptable and to ask them, as a mandated reporter, what my obligations are to report in this case.

Perhaps THAT would change Mom's mind.

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Agreed.

That is the ONLY option even if I had written permission to give the emergency inhaler. Those last only minutes, if at all. Dialing 911 will need to happen either way.

Sorry, to me that is a given and it did not occur to me to mention it.

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