Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>To The Mother In The Store Yesterday
countrymom 06:27 AM 01-31-2013
Dear Clueless Mother

Yesterday I went grocery shopping with my 3 girls. As we rounded the corner we were shocked at what we saw. As you were cluelessly looking at the food on the shelf your 12 yr old daughter was laying on the floor and your 8 yr old daughter was screaming and kicking her. We were all shocked. Eventually you told your oldest to get up.

As you went around the other aisle we happened to be behind you, and we couldn't believe what we saw. Your girls where spitting on each other, and you stupid clueless mom just kept on walking pretending you didn't see them or whatever. you didn't do anything till my daughter, who is the same age as your oldest loudly stated how gross that was, that they were spitting all over each other and the food.

You went over several aisles and all we heard was your girls screaming at each other and the shopping cart being crashed into things.

Really mom, grow some balls and take charge. Your girls are way too old to behave like this especially since i had 3 of my girls with me and they were the ones to make comments. I don't want to hear that you had a bad day, or the girls where having fun or whatever stupid excuse you want to use, when your girls decided to spit on the food that showed lack of respect and really poor parenting on your part, because at 12 yrs old they shouldnn't be spitting on food in a grocery store.

Maybe next time go shopping by yourself.

signed totally disgusted shopper
Reply
cheerfuldom 06:35 AM 01-31-2013
yuck. i would be beyond livid if any of my kids spit at the grocery store, kicked or screamed and they are all under kindergarten age.
Reply
countrymom 06:45 AM 01-31-2013
I think it shocked my girls and they are 14, 12 and 8 (their brother who is 10 was at tutoring next door) but they just couldn't believe it. And then my girls also were wondering if they behave like this at a store imagine what they do at home.
Reply
Springdaze 07:55 AM 01-31-2013
Im just relieved someones kids are worst than mine in the store!
Reply
Starburst 09:35 AM 01-31-2013
The sad thing is I think if she was ignoring it or didn't even flinch at their very unusual behavior if it was because that was how they always acted, or worst- that was them on their best behavior!
Reply
Meeko 10:48 AM 01-31-2013
I went to the doctors office once and it was fairly deserted except for myself and a woman who was there with another female. She had a daughter about three years old who was running riot through the waiting room.

The child was completely ignored while the two women talked.

The child turned over a flower arrangement. The mother just looked up, said the child's name and went back to her conversation!! Never got up to fix the flowers.

I got up, replaced the flowers and sat down again.

The child then decided that MY PURSE would be a good thing to play with. She tried to open it. I smiled and said "No' as gently as I could, thinking she would give up. NOOOO! She grabbed the purse and tried to wrestle it out of my hands!

The mother didn't even look up!!! I had to loudly say "Excuse me?!" before she looked up.

She then walked over, glaring at me for interrupting her conversation and grabbed the child. Never said sorry, never said no to the child...nothing.

I was completely amazed at her indifference. But it is sadly becoming more and more common.
Reply
EntropyControlSpecialist 10:55 AM 01-31-2013
I see this kind of craziness at my ob/gyn's office every 2 weeks. I am ALWAYS shocked. Always.
Reply
Starburst 11:07 AM 01-31-2013
It's things like these situations that make you wish some people's reproductive organs were locked by a special code only their doctor has and can only be unlocked after they complete and pass a parenting class.
Reply
nanglgrl 11:17 AM 01-31-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
It's things like these situations that make you wish some people's reproductive organs were locked by a special code only their doctor has and can only be unlocked after they complete and pass a parenting class.
A doctor's keyless entry system for a woman's "hu-ha"...I googled it and no one has invented done yet. I will get on it immediately.

Sorry, I'm a goof. It's been a long week!
Reply
daycare 11:22 AM 01-31-2013
One time my son was throwing a major tantrum in the store. I corrected him and he kept going on. He was about 3 at the time. Since he kept the tantrum going, I turned my back and walked away. Now I did not walk so far away that I could not see him, but he could not see me.

Well sure enough some lady in the store goes off on me about how horrible my parenting is and that I should be turned in to CPS. I should be ashamed of myself. Blah blah blah.

As a parent, I feel like its a double edge sword. If we say something someone will see us as bad parents. If we say nothing, we are viewed as bad parents.

I would have just told the girls, I would really appreciate it if you did not spit on the food in the store. I like my food without germs.
Reply
countrymom 11:35 AM 01-31-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
One time my son was throwing a major tantrum in the store. I corrected him and he kept going on. He was about 3 at the time. Since he kept the tantrum going, I turned my back and walked away. Now I did not walk so far away that I could not see him, but he could not see me.

Well sure enough some lady in the store goes off on me about how horrible my parenting is and that I should be turned in to CPS. I should be ashamed of myself. Blah blah blah.

As a parent, I feel like its a double edge sword. If we say something someone will see us as bad parents. If we say nothing, we are viewed as bad parents.

I would have just told the girls, I would really appreciate it if you did not spit on the food in the store. I like my food without germs.
acually I expect it at the age of 3, but at the age of 12, well I think its too old for this kind of behavior. My son also thru a tantrum once in walmart, I'll never forget it. He thru the loudest tantrum every. I picked him up and threw him in the shopping cart and walked out of the store. You should have see the looks on the faces of the people. but if he couldn't behave, why should the others have to listen to him. we went home, all awhile him screaming. He never did it again.
Reply
Heidi 11:52 AM 01-31-2013
My son (now 20) tried that act in a store once when he was 4. I cracked him on the hiney. I am not a huge fan of spanking, but because I used it so rarely, it was rather affective. He stopped in shock, I think and that was that!


I did get a rather dirty look from another parent who'd witnessed it. Well, lady, if you want to carry your 4 year old around Menards for 45 minutes (which she had, I noticed we'd walked in at the same time), then fine by me! Attachment parenting, perhaps? I thought maybe SHE needed one of those baby carriers.

JK
Reply
Patches 11:53 AM 01-31-2013
Originally Posted by countrymom:
acually I expect it at the age of 3, but at the age of 12, well I think its too old for this kind of behavior. My son also thru a tantrum once in walmart, I'll never forget it. He thru the loudest tantrum every. I picked him up and threw him in the shopping cart and walked out of the store. You should have see the looks on the faces of the people. but if he couldn't behave, why should the others have to listen to him. we went home, all awhile him screaming. He never did it again.
I did the exact same thing when my son threw a huge fit in walmart, but as I was walking out I passed a man who looked at me and said, "Whoop that boys a$$" Yes, my son is throwing a huge fit but really you have no right to tell me how deal with it. I felt really embarrassed and judged. Although I do agree 12 is WAY too old for that. 8 is even way too old for that
Reply
Heidi 12:04 PM 01-31-2013
Originally Posted by countrymom:
acually I expect it at the age of 3, but at the age of 12, well I think its too old for this kind of behavior. My son also thru a tantrum once in walmart, I'll never forget it. He thru the loudest tantrum every. I picked him up and threw him in the shopping cart and walked out of the store. You should have see the looks on the faces of the people. but if he couldn't behave, why should the others have to listen to him. we went home, all awhile him screaming. He never did it again.
See, now that is what the experts suggest, but then in my mind, they "win". If I need groceries and have my cart half full, I am not leaving the store because JR is bored. I need the dang groceries!

My pet peeve is the great negotiation: A toddler or preschooler that is in and out of the cart 50 times in the course of a shopping trip. Either they're in, and stay in, or they're old enough to walk and listen.
Reply
Kaddidle Care 12:06 PM 01-31-2013
Originally Posted by countrymom:
Dear Clueless Mother

Yesterday I went grocery shopping with my 3 girls. As we rounded the corner we were shocked at what we saw. As you were cluelessly looking at the food on the shelf your 12 yr old daughter was laying on the floor and your 8 yr old daughter was screaming and kicking her. We were all shocked. Eventually you told your oldest to get up.

As you went around the other aisle we happened to be behind you, and we couldn't believe what we saw. Your girls where spitting on each other, and you stupid clueless mom just kept on walking pretending you didn't see them or whatever. you didn't do anything till my daughter, who is the same age as your oldest loudly stated how gross that was, that they were spitting all over each other and the food.

You went over several aisles and all we heard was your girls screaming at each other and the shopping cart being crashed into things.

Really mom, grow some balls and take charge. Your girls are way too old to behave like this especially since i had 3 of my girls with me and they were the ones to make comments. I don't want to hear that you had a bad day, or the girls where having fun or whatever stupid excuse you want to use, when your girls decided to spit on the food that showed lack of respect and really poor parenting on your part, because at 12 yrs old they shouldnn't be spitting on food in a grocery store.

Maybe next time go shopping by yourself.

signed totally disgusted shopper
Maybe the Clueless Mother was a clueless Aunt.. or Babysitter. hehe!

This ladies.. is the reason I left the child care business. I'm still amused by this site and can relate.. Many things posted are BTDT!

If you see them again you might alert the Manager. If the manager does nothing about it, find another place to shop and let him/her know!
Reply
Oneluckymom 12:38 PM 01-31-2013
I can relate to the tantrums in the store. I have two a boy and girl. When they are together they are little devils, apart angels of course. As soon as one acted up they went straight into the cart...sometimes kicking and screaming. You do the crime...into the cart you go!

However, I ALWAYS correct the behavior right there. I don't care if the lady walking by me thinks im evil. I do it as civil as I can and I do not raise my voice but I'm firm and my kids know when they are being brats.

Now they're old enough to have a pep talk BEFORE we enter ANY store and I totally tell them that if they get out of control AT ALL there will be severe consequences.
Reply
spud912 12:53 PM 01-31-2013
Originally Posted by Heidi:
My pet peeve is the great negotiation: A toddler or preschooler that is in and out of the cart 50 times in the course of a shopping trip. Either they're in, and stay in, or they're old enough to walk and listen.
My younger dd is like that...in, out, in, out, in, out, in, out (you get the idea). I told my husband that I HATE shopping with her! On top of shopping cart attention deficit, she annoys me to no end. She screams bloody murder when I put her in the top with the seat belt so sometimes I give in and allow her to SIT in the cart portion. If she attempts to stand once, she's either out or buckled in to the seat portion. The whole time she's in the cart, though, she's trying to open everything and sit or stand on items (including produce). Then if I let her walk, she literally runs around in front of everyone trying to walk and push their carts. People trip over her constantly because she is absolutely incapable of walking in a straight line. When she is not running in front of everyone else, she is trying to climb on my cart....up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down. I nearly run her over 10 times in a matter of 5 minutes! I usually end up putting her in the seat part of the cart, buckling her in and letting her scream while we are there. I have to shop and there is really no way around it. I guess I just get to the point where I think "well, we are at Wal-Mart so at least we fit in with all the other families with crazy kids !"
Reply
Michelle 01:03 PM 01-31-2013
so, you live close to Honey BooBoo?
Reply
mema 01:26 PM 01-31-2013
When mine were 2 and 5, ds threw a huge tantrum at the store. We were just waiting in line at the check out and he lost it. I couldn't take it. I had been so stressed with dh being deployed and hadn't heard from him in a few weeks and working 45+ hours per week and dealing with the kids, that we left. I knew if we stayed, I may have lost it and yelled really loud and possibly threw something against the wall. Thankfully we did still have a few days of groceries at home, but boy did he learn that it's not fun to go to the store twice in one week. When we went back a few days later, he was the best behaved kid and even helped put things in the cart!
Reply
Heidi 01:34 PM 01-31-2013
Originally Posted by spud912:
My younger dd is like that...in, out, in, out, in, out, in, out (you get the idea). I told my husband that I HATE shopping with her! On top of shopping cart attention deficit, she annoys me to no end. She screams bloody murder when I put her in the top with the seat belt so sometimes I give in and allow her to SIT in the cart portion. If she attempts to stand once, she's either out or buckled in to the seat portion. The whole time she's in the cart, though, she's trying to open everything and sit or stand on items (including produce). Then if I let her walk, she literally runs around in front of everyone trying to walk and push their carts. People trip over her constantly because she is absolutely incapable of walking in a straight line. When she is not running in front of everyone else, she is trying to climb on my cart....up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down. I nearly run her over 10 times in a matter of 5 minutes! I usually end up putting her in the seat part of the cart, buckling her in and letting her scream while we are there. I have to shop and there is really no way around it. I guess I just get to the point where I think "well, we are at Wal-Mart so at least we fit in with all the other families with crazy kids !"

Lol...spud, YOU are my pet peeve!

See, much like the whole co-sleeping thing, I just never negotiated. ONce you start something...you know. Being in the store meant being in the cart...period.

We did start a tradition at Walmart with child #1. First thing in, we went to the toy aisle and picked out one thing to play with. Rules were no opening the box, using gentle hands. Then, they had something to look at while I shopped.

Once shopping is done, they put it back. We NEVER buy the item, and if anything is damaged or any fits are thrown, then next time, no toy.

Have you thought about getting her a little back pack of toys or a mini-notebook and pencil that she can have in the store? It would be the special grocery shopping notebook. She MUST stay in the cart, buckled in. Then, you can have her draw you a picture of tomatoes, or something in your cart. You can also give her a bunch of "coupons" and she can see if she can find the items. Maybe a few distractions to help her like that?
Reply
countrymom 05:49 PM 01-31-2013
Originally Posted by Oneluckymom:
I can relate to the tantrums in the store. I have two a boy and girl. When they are together they are little devils, apart angels of course. As soon as one acted up they went straight into the cart...sometimes kicking and screaming. You do the crime...into the cart you go!

However, I ALWAYS correct the behavior right there. I don't care if the lady walking by me thinks im evil. I do it as civil as I can and I do not raise my voice but I'm firm and my kids know when they are being brats.

Now they're old enough to have a pep talk BEFORE we enter ANY store and I totally tell them that if they get out of control AT ALL there will be severe consequences.


I thought I was the only mom who did this. I'm telling you it makes my life easier.

you know what was funny, my odd loves to sing (and sings really well) well this store always plays her type of music so she always sings in the store (I so need to video tape) well yesterday odd and mdd decided to brake out in dance (all that money I spend on dance lessons and they do it in a store) there was no one in the aisles but they break out in this crazy flash mob. So mdd says to me "well mom, in your book you forgot to tell us that we couldn't dance in the store" omg I just about died, at least I know they listen. So now I will have to tell them no more flash mobs in stores.
Reply
AfterSchoolMom 04:51 AM 02-01-2013
I have a friend who does the ignoring thing. Totally tunes the kids out in public if she's talking to someone. They scream, shout, throw things, bang on stuff, climb on things, and nothing is said until it escalates to a point that is ridiculous. Drives me BATTY. They're younger kids (there are four of them) and are not learning how to behave correctly at all. I usually end up doing the correcting myself.
Reply
Kaddidle Care 04:55 AM 02-01-2013
Originally Posted by spud912:
My younger dd is like that...in, out, in, out, in, out, in, out (you get the idea). I told my husband that I HATE shopping with her! On top of shopping cart attention deficit, she annoys me to no end. She screams bloody murder when I put her in the top with the seat belt so sometimes I give in and allow her to SIT in the cart portion. If she attempts to stand once, she's either out or buckled in to the seat portion. The whole time she's in the cart, though, she's trying to open everything and sit or stand on items (including produce). Then if I let her walk, she literally runs around in front of everyone trying to walk and push their carts. People trip over her constantly because she is absolutely incapable of walking in a straight line. When she is not running in front of everyone else, she is trying to climb on my cart....up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down. I nearly run her over 10 times in a matter of 5 minutes! I usually end up putting her in the seat part of the cart, buckling her in and letting her scream while we are there. I have to shop and there is really no way around it. I guess I just get to the point where I think "well, we are at Wal-Mart so at least we fit in with all the other families with crazy kids !"
Oh no! PLEASE do not make the other shoppers hear that or deal with tripping over her! Please tell me you are joking about this! You're going to get yourself kicked out of the store. Time to take control honey. She's still little and if life continues this way the teenage years are going to be hell for you.

The big part of the cart.. ewww! You're letting her sit where people put raw meat! ACK!

Call me a controlling fool but my boys sat buckled in the front until they couldn't fit in there anymore.

What I found worked well with mine was a special mini diaper bag filled with those little McDonald toys. It stays in the car and is only used for things like shopping as a special treat. The toys can be easily sanitized in the dishwasher in a bottle top basket. You can also play color, size and number games with your child. If she's good, let her pick out a special cereal or treat at the end of the shopping trip. Sometimes you have to dangle a carrot.

Best wishes.
Reply
My3cents 09:36 AM 02-01-2013
Originally Posted by AfterSchoolMom:
I have a friend who does the ignoring thing. Totally tunes the kids out in public if she's talking to someone. They scream, shout, throw things, bang on stuff, climb on things, and nothing is said until it escalates to a point that is ridiculous. Drives me BATTY. They're younger kids (there are four of them) and are not learning how to behave correctly at all. I usually end up doing the correcting myself.
I think a lot of us have parents that do this at pick time. They are good as gold until the parent comes in. UGH- I step in, if the parent doesn't. I don't care if they don't like it.
Reply
My3cents 09:39 AM 02-01-2013
Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care:
Oh no! PLEASE do not make the other shoppers hear that or deal with tripping over her! Please tell me you are joking about this! You're going to get yourself kicked out of the store. Time to take control honey. She's still little and if life continues this way the teenage years are going to be hell for you.

The big part of the cart.. ewww! You're letting her sit where people put raw meat! ACK!

Call me a controlling fool but my boys sat buckled in the front until they couldn't fit in there anymore.

What I found worked well with mine was a special mini diaper bag filled with those little McDonald toys. It stays in the car and is only used for things like shopping as a special treat. The toys can be easily sanitized in the dishwasher in a bottle top basket. You can also play color, size and number games with your child. If she's good, let her pick out a special cereal or treat at the end of the shopping trip. Sometimes you have to dangle a carrot.

Best wishes.
This all the way
Reply
My3cents 09:47 AM 02-01-2013
Originally Posted by spud912:
My younger dd is like that...in, out, in, out, in, out, in, out (you get the idea). I told my husband that I HATE shopping with her! On top of shopping cart attention deficit, she annoys me to no end. She screams bloody murder when I put her in the top with the seat belt so sometimes I give in and allow her to SIT in the cart portion. If she attempts to stand once, she's either out or buckled in to the seat portion. The whole time she's in the cart, though, she's trying to open everything and sit or stand on items (including produce). Then if I let her walk, she literally runs around in front of everyone trying to walk and push their carts. People trip over her constantly because she is absolutely incapable of walking in a straight line. When she is not running in front of everyone else, she is trying to climb on my cart....up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down. I nearly run her over 10 times in a matter of 5 minutes! I usually end up putting her in the seat part of the cart, buckling her in and letting her scream while we are there. I have to shop and there is really no way around it. I guess I just get to the point where I think "well, we are at Wal-Mart so at least we fit in with all the other families with crazy kids !"
wow tell me this is a joke

and the post below this made me spill my water---
Reply
spud912 10:43 AM 02-01-2013
You all are silly, seriously. Yes, my dd has acted like that on occasion, she's a firecracker. I tend to over-exaggerate when I go into detail about what annoys me about my children . I will honestly say that she spends 99% of the time buckled in at the top of the cart with my grocery list and several choice items from my purse. The few times we attempt to see if she has the capacity to get out to walk or ride in the cart portion, she will mostly act ok and if she doesn't she ends back up in the seat (as I said in the original post). Yes, she screams at first, but she pipes down within a minute when she realizes I am not humoring her. It's that first little bit of screaming that really gets my face red with embarrassment.

Thank you for the productive suggestions, especially the poster who suggested getting an entertainment item at the beginning or a special bag of tricks!

For those of you who were quick to judge, I'm sure you've had at least one moment of "stellar" parenting at some point in your life. Maybe you're less apt to JOKE about it on an online forum. My point when I posted that was to sympathize with unruly children in the store and that we shouldn't be so quick to judge because we have ALL been in a "situation" in public with children .


Reply
e.j. 11:00 AM 02-01-2013
Originally Posted by Oneluckymom:
I can relate to the tantrums in the store. I have two a boy and girl. When they are together they are little devils, apart angels of course. As soon as one acted up they went straight into the cart...sometimes kicking and screaming. You do the crime...into the cart you go!

However, I ALWAYS correct the behavior right there. I don't care if the lady walking by me thinks im evil. I do it as civil as I can and I do not raise my voice but I'm firm and my kids know when they are being brats.

Now they're old enough to have a pep talk BEFORE we enter ANY store and I totally tell them that if they get out of control AT ALL there will be severe consequences.
My son had one tantrum in a dept. store when he was about 2. He had a special blanket that he slept with every night and while shopping, he noticed "Blankie's" twin. When the time came to put the blanket back on the shelf, he had a meltdown because he wanted to bring "him" home with us. We left the store immediately and sat in the car until he calmed down. We went back into the store at that point and finished our errand. After that, before we went anywhere, I would tell him (and my dd when she was old enough to understand) exactly what I expected from them in terms of behavior and I reminded them of what would happen if they misbehaved. I never had a problem after that one time. Maybe I just lucked out but honestly, I felt I could bring my kids anywhere in public and not be humiliated by their behavior.

It's really sad that a 12 and 8 year old would even think to behave the way those 2 girls were behaving. My kids would have been shocked, too.
Reply
countrymom 11:21 AM 02-01-2013
Originally Posted by spud912:
You all are silly, seriously. Yes, my dd has acted like that on occasion, she's a firecracker. I tend to over-exaggerate when I go into detail about what annoys me about my children . I will honestly say that she spends 99% of the time buckled in at the top of the cart with my grocery list and several choice items from my purse. The few times we attempt to see if she has the capacity to get out to walk or ride in the cart portion, she will mostly act ok and if she doesn't she ends back up in the seat (as I said in the original post). Yes, she screams at first, but she pipes down within a minute when she realizes I am not humoring her. It's that first little bit of screaming that really gets my face red with embarrassment.

Thank you for the productive suggestions, especially the poster who suggested getting an entertainment item at the beginning or a special bag of tricks!

For those of you who were quick to judge, I'm sure you've had at least one moment of "stellar" parenting at some point in your life. Maybe you're less apt to JOKE about it on an online forum. My point when I posted that was to sympathize with unruly children in the store and that we shouldn't be so quick to judge because we have ALL been in a "situation" in public with children .

don't listen to those people. We have all been there when our kids are little. They like to test us and its part of their jobs. All my kids did the in out in out in out in out....of the shopping cart, drove me crazy too. this was mostly about older children who act out of control.
Reply
spud912 12:53 PM 02-01-2013
Originally Posted by countrymom:
don't listen to those people. We have all been there when our kids are little. They like to test us and its part of their jobs. All my kids did the in out in out in out in out....of the shopping cart, drove me crazy too. this was mostly about older children who act out of control.
I wanted to post a better response earlier but was short on time.

Yes it is a learning curve with children. My dd does do all of those things I mentioned, but not once did I say I just sit there idly and let it happen. Most good parents will magnify every misbehavior from their children and feel as if they are in the spotlight. To the contrary, any passerby will say that the children are acting completely age-appropriate. In the OP's case, I believe the problem was with the fact that the mom was oblivious or purposely ignored the poor behavior from her OLDER children. It probably stems from many years of ignorance and lack of discipline.

It's all a learning curve and nobody can say that their children started at 100% good behavior with every action unless their child is a real life robot. I want my children to behave in public too, but not at the expense of them not learning a new skill. I think it's very important for my barely-2 year old dd to learn how to walk normally through a store (as there are times we go in without a cart). Therefore, I find it extremely important to put her down and teach her how to walk in a normal line. That does mean that there will be plenty of hiccups along the way and many times when I have to discipline, take her out of the store or put put in the cart seat in order to put her back in line. Her misbehavior is completely normal for her age. My 3 year old had some issues when she was around the same age (2) and we managed to fine tune her shopping skills .

For every time they do sit well or use manners or walk nicely in a store, there were probably 10,000 other times that I had to sit them back up, remind them about manners or steer them in the right direction. I am not one to deny that the misbehavior never happened, though. I am a real person with real children.

This post takes me back to the time when I didn't have children and I went shopping. I would see the kids....the ones we all know of too well.....they are screaming in the store, demanding things, running around, etc. I admit that I judged those parents. In some cases, I'm sure the parents could have done something better. In most cases, however, it was children acting like children do when they are dragged to a store. It wasn't until I had children of my own that I realized it's not always peaches and cream and no matter what good intentions you carry, kids are going to misbehave. The important thing is to make every effort to mold them into good little citizens and eventually, most children will become well behaved. Some children or actions require more than one counter-action to correct the behavior, but at some point they will learn with enough consistency.
Reply
Kaddidle Care 10:19 PM 02-01-2013
Oh mine acted up - they weren't always angels. But when they did I would leave the store. I refuse to let my children annoy other people. My problem, not theirs.
Reply
Heidi 06:54 AM 02-02-2013
Originally Posted by spud912:
I wanted to post a better response earlier but was short on time.

Yes it is a learning curve with children. My dd does do all of those things I mentioned, but not once did I say I just sit there idly and let it happen. Most good parents will magnify every misbehavior from their children and feel as if they are in the spotlight. To the contrary, any passerby will say that the children are acting completely age-appropriate. In the OP's case, I believe the problem was with the fact that the mom was oblivious or purposely ignored the poor behavior from her OLDER children. It probably stems from many years of ignorance and lack of discipline.

It's all a learning curve and nobody can say that their children started at 100% good behavior with every action unless their child is a real life robot. I want my children to behave in public too, but not at the expense of them not learning a new skill. I think it's very important for my barely-2 year old dd to learn how to walk normally through a store (as there are times we go in without a cart). Therefore, I find it extremely important to put her down and teach her how to walk in a normal line. That does mean that there will be plenty of hiccups along the way and many times when I have to discipline, take her out of the store or put put in the cart seat in order to put her back in line. Her misbehavior is completely normal for her age. My 3 year old had some issues when she was around the same age (2) and we managed to fine tune her shopping skills .

For every time they do sit well or use manners or walk nicely in a store, there were probably 10,000 other times that I had to sit them back up, remind them about manners or steer them in the right direction. I am not one to deny that the misbehavior never happened, though. I am a real person with real children.

This post takes me back to the time when I didn't have children and I went shopping. I would see the kids....the ones we all know of too well.....they are screaming in the store, demanding things, running around, etc. I admit that I judged those parents. In some cases, I'm sure the parents could have done something better. In most cases, however, it was children acting like children do when they are dragged to a store. It wasn't until I had children of my own that I realized it's not always peaches and cream and no matter what good intentions you carry, kids are going to misbehave. The important thing is to make every effort to mold them into good little citizens and eventually, most children will become well behaved. Some children or actions require more than one counter-action to correct the behavior, but at some point they will learn with enough consistency.
I sure hope you know my answer was intended to be light-hearted. I added "smileys" to come accross that way. I hope it worked....
Reply
spud912 10:26 AM 02-02-2013
Originally Posted by Heidi:
I sure hope you know my answer was intended to be light-hearted. I added "smileys" to come accross that way. I hope it worked....
Ditto . In fact, I added every smiley just to make sure that people knew I wasn't fuming here .
Reply
daycarediva 05:31 PM 02-02-2013
A little off topic but- I heard high pitched whining in the grocery store this morning and KNEW it was DCB. I said it to dh, he listened for a second & agreed. Sure enough, a few minutes later around the corner comes DCB, whining, grabbing his Mom's pants and dragging his feet. He INSTANTLY stopped whining when he saw me. I asked if he was being an oscar the grouch and he started laughing. End of whining. I swear, I don't think his Mom even HEARS it, or has completely tuned it out. It sounds like a kid making a car noise almost. LOL!
Reply
Candy 06:20 PM 02-02-2013
I was once in the store and this lady was spanking her child. Then another lady walks up and tells the lady that she was a bad mother. Then right there in the middle of store they start fighting. Then the child reaches up and pull the coffee bean machine and they go all over the floor. I just turned around and walked off. It was the most craziest thing i had ever seen
Reply
Meeko 06:39 PM 02-02-2013
OK...it's a bit off topic....but .......one of my pet peeves in the grocery store, is the mothers who pick up a bag of grapes and let their kids munch on them as they shop to keep them happy. I see it all the time.

It's sold by WEIGHT people!!!! Your kid just ate a bunch of STOLEN grapes!!!!!
Reply
spud912 08:56 PM 02-02-2013
Originally Posted by Meeko:
OK...it's a bit off topic....but .......one of my pet peeves in the grocery store, is the mothers who pick up a bag of grapes and let their kids munch on them as they shop to keep them happy. I see it all the time.

It's sold by WEIGHT people!!!! Your kid just ate a bunch of STOLEN grapes!!!!!
Yes! I see that all the time! I never understood the whole idea of opening up food packages and eating it before you paid for it. What if your card was declined for whatever reason?
Reply
Patches 09:51 PM 02-02-2013
Originally Posted by Meeko:
OK...it's a bit off topic....but .......one of my pet peeves in the grocery store, is the mothers who pick up a bag of grapes and let their kids munch on them as they shop to keep them happy. I see it all the time.

It's sold by WEIGHT people!!!! Your kid just ate a bunch of STOLEN grapes!!!!!
Originally Posted by spud912:
Yes! I see that all the time! I never understood the whole idea of opening up food packages and eating it before you paid for it. What if your card was declined for whatever reason?
I'm right there with you on this one. I saw one lady (I was behind her at check out)who had a box of frosted cheerios opened and was letting her child eat them. Well the cashier told her that they are not supposed to do that and the lady got an attitude and told cashier "it's ok, we're paying for it". Turns out the lady was using WIC and those particu;ar cheerios were not approved and she got all pissed at the cashier for not letting her get the cheerios on her WIC and saying that she's not paying for them She ended up not having to pay for them too
Reply
EchoMom 10:00 PM 02-02-2013
Originally Posted by spud912:
Yes! I see that all the time! I never understood the whole idea of opening up food packages and eating it before you paid for it. What if your card was declined for whatever reason?
Ok, sorry, gotta jump in here to defend myself!

Sorry, but I frequently let my DS (17 months now and when he was younger) eat while I'm shopping. I have never left him with a babysitter, ever. I take him with me all the time everywhere and he does tons of walking around and helping me shop and we name everything at the store.

But you're darn right if he starts to get cranky, I'm pushing it too close to bedtime, etc. the heck yes I feed him before we pay and I don't feel one bit bad about it. I wouldn't do the grapes because 1. that's so dirty to not wash them! 2. It's by weight. But...........

The things my DS has eaten while shopping:
Banana (ok, yes, this one is stealing, I thought I could weigh the peel and it would be about the same)
Bakery wheat roll (take out of bag, doesn't affect price)
Deli meat
Deli cheese
Rotisserie chicken (Yep, we've done that twice!)
Tomato (by package, not weight. Washed it in the water fountain)
Bottled water

Notice it's at least all healthy stuff!

Why wouldn't I let my child eat while shopping? I'm going to pay for it. If for some weird reason my card were declined, I'd just have to use a different card. I'd much rather let him eat while shopping then leave him at home or have a tantrum in the store. I don't see anything wrong with it whatsoever.

I think the box of cheerios is a good idea. I'll probably try it sometime.
Reply
Play Care 06:36 AM 02-03-2013
Originally Posted by AfterSchoolMom:
I have a friend who does the ignoring thing. Totally tunes the kids out in public if she's talking to someone. They scream, shout, throw things, bang on stuff, climb on things, and nothing is said until it escalates to a point that is ridiculous. Drives me BATTY. They're younger kids (there are four of them) and are not learning how to behave correctly at all. I usually end up doing the correcting myself.
This drives me NUTS!!!! And I cringe at our trainings when we are told by "experts" to "ignore" behaviors, because in my experience I've NEVER had a child who thought "wow, this isn't getting me attention so I will stop." It's usually "yeah? see if you can ingore THIS!!" as they introduce another totally unacceptable behavior to the mix
I guess I'm more of a nip it in the bud kind of person
Reply
Blackcat31 07:19 AM 02-03-2013
Originally Posted by EchoMom:
Ok, sorry, gotta jump in here to defend myself!

Sorry, but I frequently let my DS (17 months now and when he was younger) eat while I'm shopping. I have never left him with a babysitter, ever. I take him with me all the time everywhere and he does tons of walking around and helping me shop and we name everything at the store.

But you're darn right if he starts to get cranky, I'm pushing it too close to bedtime, etc. the heck yes I feed him before we pay and I don't feel one bit bad about it. I wouldn't do the grapes because 1. that's so dirty to not wash them! 2. It's by weight. But...........

The things my DS has eaten while shopping:
Banana (ok, yes, this one is stealing, I thought I could weigh the peel and it would be about the same)
Bakery wheat roll (take out of bag, doesn't affect price)
Deli meat
Deli cheese
Rotisserie chicken (Yep, we've done that twice!)
Tomato (by package, not weight. Washed it in the water fountain)
Bottled water

Notice it's at least all healthy stuff!

Why wouldn't I let my child eat while shopping? I'm going to pay for it. If for some weird reason my card were declined, I'd just have to use a different card. I'd much rather let him eat while shopping then leave him at home or have a tantrum in the store. I don't see anything wrong with it whatsoever.

I think the box of cheerios is a good idea. I'll probably try it sometime.
Ok, I have to jump in here and ask....seriously?!?

I know a few moms who do this too and they always use "well, at least it is healthy stuff" as part of their defense too.

Great! You are feeding you child healthy stuff....

But why go shopping so close to meal times?
How is allowing your child to eat on the run ok/safe?

I mean as a daycare provider, I spend an extraordinary amount of time teaching kids to eat AT the table WITH manners and not on the fly.

Plus, as a shopper with no kids, I have to spend time wiping down the grimey dirty food crusted shopping cart before I can do any of my shopping.

I also feel sorry for the store employees who have sweep up or clean up the store aisles and shelves of emtpy wrappers, boxes and bags.

Never leaving your child with a babysitter has no bearing on this situation.....it's not like never using a sitter is a pre-requisite to being a great parent.

A great parent would think outside their own world and realize other people are effected by their (and their child's) actions in a store.

...and the banana.....yes, it is outright stealing.
Reply
Meeko 07:34 AM 02-03-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Ok, I have to jump in here and ask....seriously?!?

I know a few moms who do this too and they always use "well, at least it is healthy stuff" as part of their defense too.

Great! You are feeding you child healthy stuff....

But why go shopping so close to meal times?
How is allowing your child to eat on the run ok/safe?

I mean as a daycare provider, I spend an extraordinary amount of time teaching kids to eat AT the table WITH manners and not on the fly.

Plus, as a shopper with no kids, I have to spend time wiping down the grimey dirty food crusted shopping cart before I can do any of my shopping.

I also feel sorry for the store employees who have sweep up or clean up the store aisles and shelves of emtpy wrappers, boxes and bags.

Never leaving your child with a babysitter has no bearing on this situation.....it's not like never using a sitter is a pre-requisite to being a great parent.

A great parent would think outside their own world and realize other people are effected by their (and their child's) actions in a store.

...and the banana.....yes, it is outright stealing.
I agree!

I understand that kids get cranky and hungry. So feed them before you go! Or if food must be used as a pacifier (not a good habit to start) then take something in a baggie from home.

My kids are pretty much grown now (they range from 31 to 16) But I do remember them sometimes fussing for food in the store. I ALWAYS told them that it wasn't ours to eat until we had payed for it...no matter what it was.

I fail to see how any mother could teach her children that it's OK to have /use/eat....ie STEAL something from a store before it's paid for. Stealing food is no different from stealing a TV. Stealing is stealing.

It's also one reason that groceries cost more every week. Vendors have to cover the cost of all the food eaten IN the store and the extra clean-up required. I see it everywhere I go...empty wrappers etc stuffed on shelves, kids chomping on various things...it's disgusting.
Reply
EchoMom 10:35 AM 02-03-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Ok, I have to jump in here and ask....seriously?!?

I know a few moms who do this too and they always use "well, at least it is healthy stuff" as part of their defense too.

Great! You are feeding you child healthy stuff....

But why go shopping so close to meal times?
How is allowing your child to eat on the run ok/safe?

I mean as a daycare provider, I spend an extraordinary amount of time teaching kids to eat AT the table WITH manners and not on the fly.

Plus, as a shopper with no kids, I have to spend time wiping down the grimey dirty food crusted shopping cart before I can do any of my shopping.

I also feel sorry for the store employees who have sweep up or clean up the store aisles and shelves of emtpy wrappers, boxes and bags.

Never leaving your child with a babysitter has no bearing on this situation.....it's not like never using a sitter is a pre-requisite to being a great parent.

A great parent would think outside their own world and realize other people are effected by their (and their child's) actions in a store.

...and the banana.....yes, it is outright stealing.
Sucks you feel that way. I'm just being honest and piping up for the other side of the coin. I fully believe that I am in no way teaching my child to steal or be a pig. In fact I am the first person to pull out my own wipes from my purse to clean the shopping cart upon arrival, and continually wipe his hands during and at the end of our shopping trip. If he's eating something, he is in the cart never touching or bothering anything anyone else would encounter. That's just the truth. If he drops something (rarely!) I pick it up or he picks it up.

It's not stealing as I am fully prepared to pay for it all. And the banana, yes, that was a mistake I didn't think through at the time and wouldn't do again.

And really BC, you can't understand why someone would go shopping so close to meal time?? I mean seriously, you know that as DCproviders some of us work late. I close at 5:30. DS goes to bed at 7-7:30 so if I need to go out and get things done, like groceries that I ran out of and need to have for the next day, checks to put in bank, etc., yes, he has to eat on the fly sometimes too.

He eats the overwhelming amount of meals sitting at the table, practicing his manners with all the daycare kids for breakfast, lunch, snack, 5 days a week and dinners with us at restaraunts or home in the evenings. I've never used a high chair for him ever, he has always always always used a low Montessori table, never used a sippy cup ever and has always always always used a cup or cup with straw. He's been out to eat at sit down restaurants since he was a tiny infant and has impecable behavior due to the dozens and dozens (we dine out often) he has been to.

At the store, my DS walks much more than he rides in the cart. We've been through the discipline stuff when he wouldn't hold my hand, throw a fit, etc., and now he knows that he walks with me and behaves or rides, he always chooses walking politely. He gets the items I ask him to off of the shelves and puts them on the bottom of the cart. If he selects something we're not buying, he puts it back when I tell him.

And we've never, ever left an empty box, bag, food wrapper, etc. in the store, ever.

Not using a baby sitter is not a prereq for being a good parent. My point was many people complain about those parents who dump their kid on daycare or sitters all the time. My point is that I spend a ridiculously long time on shopping trips BECAUSE I choose to bring my child with me SO THAT he can learn manners, obedience, self-control, vocabulary, practical life skills, etc. But yes, if that means he needs something to eat, I see nothing wrong with it.

In fact EVERY grocery store I'VE been to GIVES the children FREE COOKIES to eat WHILE SHOPPING. I choose not to give my child a cookie, but to give him the sample slice of deli meat and cheese that they OFFER EVERY TIME I order at the deli.

I literally, honestly, have even had the grocery store manager see us walking around doing our shopping together and praise us for how well behaved and skilled my DS is at an extremely young age. We're talking about a baby/toddler here who just turned 17 months, so these were just the handful of times he's eaten something at the store out of the probably 100+ times he's gone shopping with me.

I'd bet you $100 that if you asked the manager, would you rather I shop and bring my eating child, or not be a customer at all... Well, I think I know which they'd want.

And frankly, I've seen much dirtier, messier ADULTS eating the free samples at the stores. Stores WANT you to try things because they know you'll buy it.
Reply
EchoMom 10:40 AM 02-03-2013
Originally Posted by Meeko:
My kids are pretty much grown now (they range from 31 to 16) But I do remember them sometimes fussing for food in the store. I ALWAYS told them that it wasn't ours to eat until we had payed for it...no matter what it was.


I fail to see how any mother could teach her children that it's OK to have /use/eat....ie STEAL something from a store before it's paid for. Stealing food is no different from stealing a TV. Stealing is stealing.

It's also one reason that groceries cost more every week. Vendors have to cover the cost of all the food eaten IN the store and the extra clean-up required. I see it everywhere I go...empty wrappers etc stuffed on shelves, kids chomping on various things...it's disgusting.
Really? You told your 12 month old that it wasn't time to eat and to suck it up and wait? Good for you if you have the time and preparedness to feed them beforehand every single time. I usually do too. But nope, I'm not perfect.

Totally disagree. I completely 100% do not agree that eating in the store is stealing. If I pay for it before leaving the store I haven't stolen anything. I'm confident that if you asked the store manager, is it okay if my child eats this now so I can continue shopping and spending more money, or would you rather I pay and leave, they are always going to say oh no problem, keep shopping, in fact would your child like a FREE COOKIE (hence, they ENCOURAGE eating in the store/think the mess is worth it for happy kids to keep shopping with their moms)

Yep, tons of empty wrappers from ADULTS having samples too huh?
Reply
Blackcat31 03:27 PM 02-03-2013
Originally Posted by EchoMom:
And really BC, you can't understand why someone would go shopping so close to meal time?? I mean seriously, you know that as DCproviders some of us work late. I close at 5:30. DS goes to bed at 7-7:30 so if I need to go out and get things done, like groceries that I ran out of and need to have for the next day, checks to put in bank, etc., yes, he has to eat on the fly sometimes too.
If your son goes to bed at 7:30 then go shopping after he is in bed. If he is in no condition to go with you without having to eat, then leave him home or better yet, feed him a small snack before going to the store.

Working long hours as a child care provider has NO bearing on this subject. I've always worked long hours and NEVER had to let my child eat in the grocery store while we were shopping.


Originally Posted by EchoMom:
Not using a baby sitter is not a prereq for being a good parent. My point was many people complain about those parents who dump their kid on daycare or sitters all the time. My point is that I spend a ridiculously long time on shopping trips BECAUSE I choose to bring my child with me SO THAT he can learn manners, obedience, self-control, vocabulary, practical life skills, etc. But yes, if that means he needs something to eat, I see nothing wrong with it.
I also fail to see how allowing your child to eat something while in the store before you pay for it teaches him manners, obedience, self-control, vocabulary and practical life skills?

Originally Posted by EchoMom:
In fact EVERY grocery store I'VE been to GIVES the children FREE COOKIES to eat WHILE SHOPPING. I choose not to give my child a cookie, but to give him the sample slice of deli meat and cheese that they OFFER EVERY TIME I order at the deli.
There are laws about eating in certain establishments and although people do eat in the grocery store, I am sure it was never meant to be that way.

My grocery store offers free apples to kids not cookies AND they offer a little cafe area with booths and tables for people to stop at and eat rather than walking around the store to do it.

You never said one thing about the deli or anyone else OFFERING anything for free in your original post.

Originally Posted by EchoMom:
I'd bet you $100 that if you asked the manager, would you rather I shop and bring my eating child, or not be a customer at all... Well, I think I know which they'd want..
I am sure the grocer/store manager wants to keep everyone's business as he is in it to make money but don't act like your patronage is any more important than mine.

Originally Posted by EchoMom:
And frankly, I've seen much dirtier, messier ADULTS eating the free samples at the stores. Stores WANT you to try things because they know you'll buy it.
I also could care less about adults who are dirty and leave messes in the stores because they too are part of the problem we are discussing.

It's not like I am suddenly going to think it is ok because others do it too...

Originally Posted by EchoMom:
Sucks you feel that way. I'm just being honest and piping up for the other side of the coin.
It doesn't really suck that I feel this way....it sucks that you were so condescending and snarky in your orginal post. Your post came across as you couldn't care less what other people think and will do what you want either way.
Reply
Kaddidle Care 03:41 PM 02-03-2013
Originally Posted by Play Care:
This drives me NUTS!!!! And I cringe at our trainings when we are told by "experts" to "ignore" behaviors, because in my experience I've NEVER had a child who thought "wow, this isn't getting me attention so I will stop." It's usually "yeah? see if you can ingore THIS!!" as they introduce another totally unacceptable behavior to the mix
I guess I'm more of a nip it in the bud kind of person
That technique works well with PUPPIES! Sometimes it works with children but not all.

The food eating/stealing thing.. I'll pass.

Anything my kids ate was already paid for and I once made the MISTAKE of bringing cheerios for my younest to eat in a zip loc bag and he dumped them at the check out line. Took me forever to pick them up! Never again! (And no, I wouldn't leave it for store clean up to take care of - I am responsible for my own child's mess.)
Reply
EchoMom 04:07 PM 02-03-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
If your son goes to bed at 7:30 then go shopping after he is in bed. If he is in no condition to go with you without having to eat, then leave him home or better yet, feed him a small snack before going to the store.

Working long hours as a child care provider has NO bearing on this subject. I've always worked long hours and NEVER had to let my child eat in the grocery store while we were shopping.




I also fail to see how allowing your child to eat something while in the store before you pay for it teaches him manners, obedience, self-control, vocabulary and practical life skills?



There are laws about eating in certain establishments and although people do eat in the grocery store, I am sure it was never meant to be that way.

My grocery store offers free apples to kids not cookies AND they offer a little cafe area with booths and tables for people to stop at and eat rather than walking around the store to do it.

You never said one thing about the deli or anyone else OFFERING anything for free in your original post.



I am sure the grocer/store manager wants to keep everyone's business as he is in it to make money but don't act like your patronage is any more important than mine.



I also could care less about adults who are dirty and leave messes in the stores because they too are part of the problem we are discussing.

It's not like I am suddenly going to think it is ok because others do it too...



It doesn't really suck that I feel this way....it sucks that you were so condescending and snarky in your orginal post. Your post came across as you couldn't care less what other people think and will do what you want either way.
WOW... I am shocked that such a little matter has resulted in such hostility... I never would have responded had I known it would cause such responses. I feel like this is being blown way way out of proportion over a very small innocent matter.

Maybe it's different in your area. In my Kroger kids get free cookies, their are samples out for people to take frequently, there is a popcorn machine, the deli gives free slices to taste of whatever you buy, and their is a starbucks so you can walk around eating your baked goods and drinks.

At my store it is clear that it is perfectly fine to eat in the store. So that's my response to the it's dirty/disrespectful/poor manners/BS.

And as far as it being stealing, I just think that's totally wrong. It's not stealing and I fully stand by that. The money is in your pocket, every intention is there to buy it, you never leave the store without paying, to say it's stealing is BS.

Clearly I am super offended by the implications this is bringing up. All I was doing was offering a different view from the perspective of someone with the shoe on the other foot.
Reply
Blackcat31 04:40 PM 02-03-2013
Originally Posted by EchoMom:
WOW... I am shocked that such a little matter has resulted in such hostility... I never would have responded had I known it would cause such responses. I feel like this is being blown way way out of proportion over a very small innocent matter.

Maybe it's different in your area. In my Kroger kids get free cookies, their
are samples out for people to take frequently, there is a popcorn machine, the deli gives free slices to taste of whatever you buy, and their is a starbucks so you can walk around eating your baked goods and drinks.

At my store it is clear that it is perfectly fine to eat in the store. So that's my response to the it's dirty/disrespectful/poor manners/BS.

And as far as it being stealing, I just think that's totally wrong. It's not stealing and I fully stand by that. The money is in your pocket, every intention is there to buy it, you never leave the store without paying, to say it's stealing is BS.

Clearly I am super offended by the implications this is bringing up. All I was doing was offering a different view from the perspective of someone with the shoe on the other foot.
I am not being hostile in the least bit I was responding to YOUR original post which I said felt like it came across as condescending and snarky.

An example is: You said: "But you're darn right if he starts to get cranky, I'm pushing it too close to bedtime, etc. then heck yes I feed him before we pay and I don't feel one bit bad about it."

and then when a poster made a comment about Cheerios and how horrible the incident was you said "I think the box of cheerios is a good idea. I'll probably try it sometime."

THAT comes across as VERY self-centered and uncaring as to what others think.

If your grocery store allows people to eat the foods and products BEFORE they are paid for then continue to do so.

You never mentioned free samples and popcorn machines that promote eating in the store until AFTER I responded with a different viewpoint than yours.

You could have made your point in a much better and more positive way. It was YOU that came out fighting so why wouldn't others respond in the same manner?

FWIW~ I NEVER said anything about stealing other than in my first post and you clarified that it was a one time thing so I never brought it up again.

I offered the other side of this coin you keep mentioning about how I feel/think in response to your statements.

I was in NO way hostile or mean, and I certainly never implied anything other than what I said.....there are no alterior or dark implications in my responses.....


I have an opinion that carries as much weight as yours.

You said your side. I said mine. We agree to disagree.
Reply
countrymom 06:40 AM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by EchoMom:
Ok, sorry, gotta jump in here to defend myself!

Sorry, but I frequently let my DS (17 months now and when he was younger) eat while I'm shopping. I have never left him with a babysitter, ever. I take him with me all the time everywhere and he does tons of walking around and helping me shop and we name everything at the store.

But you're darn right if he starts to get cranky, I'm pushing it too close to bedtime, etc. the heck yes I feed him before we pay and I don't feel one bit bad about it. I wouldn't do the grapes because 1. that's so dirty to not wash them! 2. It's by weight. But...........

The things my DS has eaten while shopping:
Banana (ok, yes, this one is stealing, I thought I could weigh the peel and it would be about the same)
Bakery wheat roll (take out of bag, doesn't affect price)
Deli meat
Deli cheese
Rotisserie chicken (Yep, we've done that twice!)
Tomato (by package, not weight. Washed it in the water fountain)
Bottled water

Notice it's at least all healthy stuff!

Why wouldn't I let my child eat while shopping? I'm going to pay for it. If for some weird reason my card were declined, I'd just have to use a different card. I'd much rather let him eat while shopping then leave him at home or have a tantrum in the store. I don't see anything wrong with it whatsoever.

I think the box of cheerios is a good idea. I'll probably try it sometime.

really your that lazy that you can't pack snacks and food in your diaper bag to bring with you. What else do you want me to call you. and saying that your child needs to eat on a fly, ha! you don't know the meaning of that. Your child doesn't need to go to sleep exactly at 7pm, so he goes to sleep 10 or 15 min. later, not a big deal. If you can't do your shopping on the weekday then go on the weekends.

if your teaching your child that its fine to eat in the store with food off the shelf what are you going to tell him when he is 4 or 5 and he's hungry, that its fine to do it. I think this is the most stupidest excuse I have ever heard, and I'm a mom of 4 kids and I can truely tell you that I have never ever allowed my child to eat in the store with food that I have not purchased yet.
Reply
Country Kids 07:14 AM 02-04-2013
Echomom,

Good job in helping shoppers have a pleasant experience while your child was in the store-

I did the same thing with my youngest. The store we shopped out didn't hand out anything free (not even cookies). Our manager was fine and knew I always paid for everything. Would rather see a child eating something healthy then the garbage from the checkout stand.

A store my friend shops at in another state actually hands out things like produce and that to the kids- I think that is such an awesome idea and what a way to get kids to eat healthy.

My child is older now and doesn't rely on having to have a snack when we go to the store. Happy, healthy child and praises from many a grownup in my childs lifetime.

Keep up the good work with your son!
Reply
EchoMom 07:27 AM 02-04-2013
THANK YOU so much CountryMom. I really appreciate it. No one has to agree with me, but at least it doesn't have to turn into name calling. This is totally uncalled for. Thank you, you've made my day by saying something nice.
Reply
littlemissmuffet 08:34 AM 02-04-2013
I'm quite suprised reading this thread... I know that nobody/no parent is perfect, but I'm shocked that some childcare providers on this board have such bad parenting habits (that we as providers often complain about)! But, then again, I suppose it's no different than the mechanic who drives an old beater car, the hair stylist who has the worst dye-job/hair-do ever or the the lawn care specialist whose own yard has grass and weeds growing a mile high!
Reply
Willow 09:07 AM 02-04-2013
What I don't get is why so many here are so obsessed with judging how other people parent?

I've seen sooooo many groups of people put down lately, what is the point of all that judgment? I get feeling passionate about what we do ourselves, I think I'm a freaking genius when it comes to my kids most days, but that doesn't mean I'm going to tell someone else they're doing it wrong simply because they do something different than I do. Or act all offended, scoff, make fun of someone elses methods.

If something's not working for you by all means switch gears and share your experiences.

But if it DOES work I don't care if you attachment parent or not, co-sleep or not, feed your kids in a store or not, let them get in and out of the cart or not, or leave a store if your child throws a tantrum or make a conscience effort to stay to prove a point.....if the end result is a well behaved adult why in the heck do ya'll care what another parent does???

There is not one path and one path only that leads to a well balanced, healthy minded, well behaved grown up. Tout what's best in your opinion, but that doesn't have to equate to a giant barf fest on everyone else.




Good grief I feel like my parenting style has just been raked over the freaking coals..... I did/do practice AP, I did co-sleep, I did bring snacks for my kids during outtings when they were bitty and no I don't leave a store simply because my child throws a simple tantrum.

Newsflash! Despite all my obvious "deficits" my kids still aren't out of control, whiney, tantruming, psycho heathens, I'm sure much to the surprise of some of you here!
Reply
Willow 09:12 AM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care:
That technique works well with PUPPIES! Sometimes it works with children but not all.
I'd never presume to say it would work on all children because I'm not a fan of absolutes, but the technique has worked with every single child I've ever cared for.

Emphasis on the word CHILDREN.
Reply
countrymom 10:24 AM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
What I don't get is why so many here are so obsessed with judging how other people parent?

I've seen sooooo many groups of people put down lately, what is the point of all that judgment? I get feeling passionate about what we do ourselves, I think I'm a freaking genius when it comes to my kids most days, but that doesn't mean I'm going to tell someone else they're doing it wrong simply because they do something different than I do. Or act all offended, scoff, make fun of someone elses methods.

If something's not working for you by all means switch gears and share your experiences.

But if it DOES work I don't care if you attachment parent or not, co-sleep or not, feed your kids in a store or not, let them get in and out of the cart or not, or leave a store if your child throws a tantrum or make a conscience effort to stay to prove a point.....if the end result is a well behaved adult why in the heck do ya'll care what another parent does???

There is not one path and one path only that leads to a well balanced, healthy minded, well behaved grown up. Tout what's best in your opinion, but that doesn't have to equate to a giant barf fest on everyone else.




Good grief I feel like my parenting style has just been raked over the freaking coals..... I did/do practice AP, I did co-sleep, I did bring snacks for my kids during outtings when they were bitty and no I don't leave a store simply because my child throws a simple tantrum.

Newsflash! Despite all my obvious "deficits" my kids still aren't out of control, whiney, tantruming, psycho heathens, I'm sure much to the surprise of some of you here!
by the way I co slept too and nursed my ydd till she was 3. I think the point is that we need to have respect for people when we bring our children to stores.

my sister has worked for 20 yrs at a grocery store. Letting your child eat in the store that you have not yet purchased is the same as stealing. She sees it happen alot. Parents complaining that their kids didn't eat so they are having a melt down so lets feed them in the store.

then the kids throw the food everywhere, the shopping carts are filthy and full of garbage and the workers are the ones that get to clean it up.

she also points out that by eating the food before you pay is the same as stealing. Its like saying "let me try the product out and if I like it then I'll pay for it, if I don't like it then I won't buy it" there is no difference. Regardless if you say that your paying for it, your still eating the food---taking it and not paying for it till later on. This is how food prices go up too.

she sees it all. parents grabbing diapers changing thier kids and putting back an open package. She also questioned why, knowing every week you go to the store that you don't have a plan of action and come prepared. Its not hard to pack stuff for your children.
Reply
Meeko 10:26 AM 02-04-2013
I just look at it as the food is NOT MINE until I pay for it. I have no right to eat/use ANYTHING from ANY store until it is paid for. Food, clothing, appliances...whatever. The only exception would be if they are GIVING AWAY samples.

Grocery stores lose a TON of money from folks who decide to feed themselves before they pay for the food.

Some will be honest, and pay at the register, but many won't. The grocery store has to pass that cost onto other consumers to make back their loss.

Feeding a 12 month old in the store may seem an easy fix for the parent, but as someone else pointed out, how do you then explain 5 years later on that it's OK to rip open a food package at the grocery store before it's paid for, but they can't rip open the toy package and play with the toy before it's payed before? No difference.

If my husband can eat his way through the store with the attitude that he will pay for it later, why can't he pop on a new shirt? Why can't my daughters change their underwear right there in the changing room? If they intend to pay for them, is it OK to take the empty package to the register and say "I have them on already"???

I see no difference whatsoever. Store items...used before purchase.

Bottom line is....everything belongs to the store until you exchange money and have a receipt in your hand.

It's not good business for the store. It's not teaching a child anything other than instant gratification. ( I would never take a starving 12 month old to the store in the first place.)

Most of us loathe the fact that some daycare parents think they can use a providers services and as long as they EVENTUALLY pay for it...it's all good. So what if payment is due at drop-off? Make her wait until pick-up......you're gonna pay her......so what's the big deal???? The big deal is that's not how business works.

I want paid first. Why would the grocery store owner be any different? Especially as it it easy for people to eat and run without paying.
Reply
countrymom 10:33 AM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by Meeko:
I just look at it as the food is NOT MINE until I pay for it. I have no right to eat/use ANYTHING from ANY store until it is paid for. Food, clothing, appliances...whatever. The only exception would be if they are GIVING AWAY samples.

Grocery stores lose a TON of money from folks who decide to feed themselves before they pay for the food.

Some will be honest, and pay at the register, but many won't. The grocery store has to pass that cost onto other consumers to make back their loss.

Feeding a 12 month old in the store may seem an easy fix for the parent, but as someone else pointed out, how do you then explain 5 years later on that it's OK to rip open a food package at the grocery store before it's paid for, but they can't rip open the toy package and play with the toy before it's payed before? No difference.

If my husband can eat his way through the store with the attitude that he will pay for it later, why can't he pop on a new shirt? Why can't my daughters change their underwear right there in the changing room? If they intend to pay for them, is it OK to take the empty package to the register and say "I have them on already"???

I see no difference whatsoever. Store items...used before purchase.

Bottom line is....everything belongs to the store until you exchange money and have a receipt in your hand.

It's not good business for the store. It's not teaching a child anything other than instant gratification. ( I would never take a starving 12 month old to the store in the first place.)

Most of us loathe the fact that some daycare parents think they can use a providers services and as long as they EVENTUALLY pay for it...it's all good. So what if payment is due at drop-off? Make her wait until pick-up......you're gonna pay her......so what's the big deal???? The big deal is that's not how business works.

I want paid first. Why would the grocery store owner be any different? Especially as it it easy for people to eat and run without paying.

good annallogy with the daycare business, I never thought of that. But its so true.
Reply
My3cents 11:10 AM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by Candy:
I was once in the store and this lady was spanking her child. Then another lady walks up and tells the lady that she was a bad mother. Then right there in the middle of store they start fighting. Then the child reaches up and pull the coffee bean machine and they go all over the floor. I just turned around and walked off. It was the most craziest thing i had ever seen
I have seen this happen with a family and a man. The one man yelled, you don't hit children ever!!! The other one told him to mind his own business. Then it went to do you want to take this outside and I will whip your A** and then we can see how you like being hit. It was the craziest thing ever. The family was dragging these two girls around that were sick of shopping while the parents ignored them, then finally one of them acted out and the father spanked her a couple of times, yelled at her. Walmart- some funny stuff happens there and I always seem to witness it. UGH~
Reply
My3cents 11:28 AM 02-04-2013
I am staying out of the debate but I wanted to say that my child took a bite out of an apple she reached in the back of the cart for while I was pulling another item off the shelf to buy. I got up to the register and told them that I would pay for it but the lady just shook her head and said never mind.

I wouldn't eat the grapes while shopping they have video cameras in most stores. The do prosecute for it-
Reply
spud912 12:57 PM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
What I don't get is why so many here are so obsessed with judging how other people parent?

I've seen sooooo many groups of people put down lately, what is the point of all that judgment? I get feeling passionate about what we do ourselves, I think I'm a freaking genius when it comes to my kids most days, but that doesn't mean I'm going to tell someone else they're doing it wrong simply because they do something different than I do. Or act all offended, scoff, make fun of someone elses methods.

If something's not working for you by all means switch gears and share your experiences.

But if it DOES work I don't care if you attachment parent or not, co-sleep or not, feed your kids in a store or not, let them get in and out of the cart or not, or leave a store if your child throws a tantrum or make a conscience effort to stay to prove a point.....if the end result is a well behaved adult why in the heck do ya'll care what another parent does???

There is not one path and one path only that leads to a well balanced, healthy minded, well behaved grown up. Tout what's best in your opinion, but that doesn't have to equate to a giant barf fest on everyone else.




Good grief I feel like my parenting style has just been raked over the freaking coals..... I did/do practice AP, I did co-sleep, I did bring snacks for my kids during outtings when they were bitty and no I don't leave a store simply because my child throws a simple tantrum.

Newsflash! Despite all my obvious "deficits" my kids still aren't out of control, whiney, tantruming, psycho heathens, I'm sure much to the surprise of some of you here!
I agree!

I try to leave my judgmental self at home, although I do think there are a few occasions she comes along for the ride. She especially likes to come out to judge the OBVIOUS "parents" who probably should have used protection .
Reply
Tags:parents - are clueless
Reply Up