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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Craigslist Ad Of The Day! ;)
cheerfuldom 04:22 PM 06-18-2013
I have very high standards for her, so if you feel that you qualify feel free to send me an email.

Here is what I'm looking for:

-In-home daycare with a small number of children.
-Part-time two half days and one full day
-Experience and education in child care preferred,CPR and First Aid training, licensed, references.
-Breakfast and lunch given including healthy meals (little to no processed food, no sugary snacks or drinks, fruits and vegetables given frequently, not a lot of pasta, bread, and things of the sort given frequently). We can pack her a lunch if necessary.
-No yelling, no spanking or other physical punishment, no shaming, no time outs to be in line with our gentle parenting
-Absolutely NO crying-it-out at nap times or any other time. She does well going to sleep on a cot while being patted for a few minutes.
-Little to no television, fun activities, learning through play, arts and crafts, out door play, etc.
-No harsh disinfectants and cleaning products like bleach.
-A clean, no smoking and as fragrance-free of a home as possible (we prefer no scented candles, scented plug-ins, fabreeze, heavy perfume, etc.).


Most importantly we need someone who loves children and is passionate about them. We would want someone who is patient and understanding with a big heart and can run their daycare without taking out their stresses on the children.


The above is the ad.

I talked to this mom and she had further requirements as well. (I did not respond to this ad, she contacted me before posting)

-She does not guarantee a drop off time. She wants a 45 min. window of drop off depending on when her daughter gets up and also wants breakfast whenever they show up.
-She wants someone willing to do prolonged rocking or whatever it takes to get her daughter thru nap with no crying and also, whatever attention is needed to avoid crying during the day

AND she said her current provider decided to close down her daycare. gee, I wonder why? I think the "can run their daycare without taking out their stresses on the children" shows what she really thinks of her current provider.

I told her I didnt think I would be a good fit
Reply
daycarediva 04:31 PM 06-18-2013
She needs a nanny.


What happens when the other (few) children all cry at the same time? Why do parents think crying is SO BAD? Kids cry. The WORST kids I have EVER had in care are the ones who were never allowed to cry/get mad/get frustrated. More tantrums later on, fewer self help skills, fewer coping skills. The list goes on.....
Reply
TheGoodLife 04:33 PM 06-18-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I have very high standards for her, so if you feel that you qualify feel free to send me an email.

Here is what I'm looking for:

-In-home daycare with a small number of children.
-Part-time two half days and one full day
-Experience and education in child care preferred,CPR and First Aid training, licensed, references.
-Breakfast and lunch given including healthy meals (little to no processed food, no sugary snacks or drinks, fruits and vegetables given frequently, not a lot of pasta, bread, and things of the sort given frequently). We can pack her a lunch if necessary.
-No yelling, no spanking or other physical punishment, no shaming, no time outs to be in line with our gentle parenting
-Absolutely NO crying-it-out at nap times or any other time. She does well going to sleep on a cot while being patted for a few minutes.
-Little to no television, fun activities, learning through play, arts and crafts, out door play, etc.
-No harsh disinfectants and cleaning products like bleach.
-A clean, no smoking and as fragrance-free of a home as possible (we prefer no scented candles, scented plug-ins, fabreeze, heavy perfume, etc.).


Most importantly we need someone who loves children and is passionate about them. We would want someone who is patient and understanding with a big heart and can run their daycare without taking out their stresses on the children.


The above is the ad.

I talked to this mom and she had further requirements as well. (I did not respond to this ad, she contacted me before posting)

-She does not guarantee a drop off time. She wants a 45 min. window of drop off depending on when her daughter gets up and also wants breakfast whenever they show up.
-She wants someone willing to do prolonged rocking or whatever it takes to get her daughter thru nap with no crying and also, whatever attention is needed to avoid crying during the day

AND she said her current provider decided to close down her daycare. gee, I wonder why? I think the "can run their daycare without taking out their stresses on the children" shows what she really thinks of her current provider.

I told her I didnt think I would be a good fit
I would have suggested she may need a nanny, as if one child is gettin that attention what about he over kids?! There are times where more than one child is crying at the same time, to say the least about her "expectations"
Reply
TheGoodLife 04:35 PM 06-18-2013
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
She needs a nanny.


What happens when the other (few) children all cry at the same time? Why do parents think crying is SO BAD? Kids cry. The WORST kids I have EVER had in care are the ones who were never allowed to cry/get mad/get frustrated. More tantrums later on, fewer self help skills, fewer coping skills. The list goes on.....
Ha, I read this right after I typed mine- great minds think alike, huh!
Reply
daycarediva 04:52 PM 06-18-2013
I bet she wanted to pay half (or less) what the average rate is in her area as well.
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Leigh 05:02 PM 06-18-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I have very high standards for her, so if you feel that you qualify feel free to send me an email.

Here is what I'm looking for:

-In-home daycare with a small number of children.
-Part-time two half days and one full day
-Experience and education in child care preferred,CPR and First Aid training, licensed, references.
-Breakfast and lunch given including healthy meals (little to no processed food, no sugary snacks or drinks, fruits and vegetables given frequently, not a lot of pasta, bread, and things of the sort given frequently). We can pack her a lunch if necessary.
-No yelling, no spanking or other physical punishment, no shaming, no time outs to be in line with our gentle parenting
-Absolutely NO crying-it-out at nap times or any other time. She does well going to sleep on a cot while being patted for a few minutes.
-Little to no television, fun activities, learning through play, arts and crafts, out door play, etc.
-No harsh disinfectants and cleaning products like bleach.
-A clean, no smoking and as fragrance-free of a home as possible (we prefer no scented candles, scented plug-ins, fabreeze, heavy perfume, etc.).


Most importantly we need someone who loves children and is passionate about them. We would want someone who is patient and understanding with a big heart and can run their daycare without taking out their stresses on the children.


The above is the ad.

I talked to this mom and she had further requirements as well. (I did not respond to this ad, she contacted me before posting)

-She does not guarantee a drop off time. She wants a 45 min. window of drop off depending on when her daughter gets up and also wants breakfast whenever they show up.
-She wants someone willing to do prolonged rocking or whatever it takes to get her daughter thru nap with no crying and also, whatever attention is needed to avoid crying during the day

AND she said her current provider decided to close down her daycare. gee, I wonder why? I think the "can run their daycare without taking out their stresses on the children" shows what she really thinks of her current provider.

I told her I didnt think I would be a good fit
What parent doesn't want EXACTLY that for their child? I know I do. That's why I STAY HOME WITH HIM! Right now, I have only 3 kids and would like to keep it that way through the summer (we're having a blast on field trips!).

Honestly, every one of us providers would LOVE to be able to provide this kind of care, and I'll bet that most of us imagined that this is how it would be. We imagined a group of easy going, happy, well-adjusted little kids. Fact is, when kids go to daycare, they pick up bad behaviors. When kids have two different lives with different sets of rules, bad behaviors result. NO kid can get this much attention all the time!

The thing that gets me most about this ad is that the mom seems to be afraid of carbs...parents often don't realize that kids NEED more fat and carbs in their diets-their needs are MUCH different than ours.

"No harsh disinfectants and cleaning products like bleach.
-A clean, no smoking and as fragrance-free of a home as possible (we prefer no scented candles, scented plug-ins, fabreeze, heavy perfume, etc.)."

Seriously? I'd love not to use bleach myself (not because it's dangerous,but because I don't like the potential to stain everything). The state gives me no choice...it must be bleach. No heavy perfume? Control freak, maybe?

I'd hate to even interview with this one!
Reply
cheerfuldom 05:09 PM 06-18-2013
Originally Posted by Leigh:
What parent doesn't want EXACTLY that for their child? I know I do. That's why I STAY HOME WITH HIM! Right now, I have only 3 kids and would like to keep it that way through the summer (we're having a blast on field trips!).

Honestly, every one of us providers would LOVE to be able to provide this kind of care, and I'll bet that most of us imagined that this is how it would be. We imagined a group of easy going, happy, well-adjusted little kids. Fact is, when kids go to daycare, they pick up bad behaviors. When kids have two different lives with different sets of rules, bad behaviors result. NO kid can get this much attention all the time!

The thing that gets me most about this ad is that the mom seems to be afraid of carbs...parents often don't realize that kids NEED more fat and carbs in their diets-their needs are MUCH different than ours.

"No harsh disinfectants and cleaning products like bleach.
-A clean, no smoking and as fragrance-free of a home as possible (we prefer no scented candles, scented plug-ins, fabreeze, heavy perfume, etc.)."

Seriously? I'd love not to use bleach myself (not because it's dangerous,but because I don't like the potential to stain everything). The state gives me no choice...it must be bleach. No heavy perfume? Control freak, maybe?

I'd hate to even interview with this one!
This was exactly my thought

What parent doesn't want EXACTLY that for their child? I know I do. That's why I STAY HOME WITH HIM!

I understand what she wants, because that is what I want for my own kids and that is why I stay home to make it happen. I told her that I understand what she wanted but that I couldnt promise a couple of the things and for that reason, I was not a good fit for her. I dont serve breakfast for the daycare kids and if I did, how would I even have a hot healthy homecooked breakfast holding for 45 minutes every day? What would I do with my own nursing infant if she was demanding her 2 year old be rocked for the whole nap if necessary? so yeah, not going to happen. and like you said, cleaning products are regulated with licensed daycares. there is only so much you can do for particular parents. a licensed daycare on a food program can offer healthy foods but they are regulated as to the types and portions that they HAVE to offer!
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Leigh 05:23 PM 06-18-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
This was exactly my thought

What parent doesn't want EXACTLY that for their child? I know I do. That's why I STAY HOME WITH HIM!

I understand what she wants, because that is what I want for my own kids and that is why I stay home to make it happen. I told her that I understand what she wanted but that I couldnt promise a couple of the things and for that reason, I was not a good fit for her. I dont serve breakfast for the daycare kids and if I did, how would I even have a hot healthy homecooked breakfast holding for 45 minutes every day? What would I do with my own nursing infant if she was demanding her 2 year old be rocked for the whole nap if necessary? so yeah, not going to happen. and like you said, cleaning products are regulated with licensed daycares. there is only so much you can do for particular parents. a licensed daycare on a food program can offer healthy foods but they are regulated as to the types and portions that they HAVE to offer!
Honestly, it's about what you're willing to give up, and I gave up the job of a lifetime (with one of the nation's premier employers). I gave up healthcare for life, a great pension, my income was more than twice the average HOUSEHOLD income in my area, a great work environment (with awesome coworkers), and the best benefits around. I gave it up for a little boy who was just starting to walk and talk-he was 10 months old when I decided that I wasn't going to let someone else experience his exciting milestones. I wanted to be the one to comfort him when he was ill, to be the one who teaches him to use the potty, and mostly, to be the one he knew he could always count on.

It's been hell financially (I make less per month now than I used to make in a week), I haven't had a massage in over a year, or a haircut in about 8 months, no more weekend vacations, no new car this year. I don't miss my old life, and I feel SO sorry for moms who feel that their careers or money are more important than their kids. I know a SAHM who lives in an old trailer house and whose husband is barely bringing home enough to make ends meet. When I was working, I thought her lazy-couldn't understand why she would stay home when she was ABLE to work. Now, I get it. Her kids are WAAAY more important to her than money is. They're all she's ever talked about. And what she is giving them is worth so much more than trips to Disneyland, a fancy house, a new car, or anything else.

How I'd love to tell "fussymom" who posted that CL ad that NO ONE is going to give her kid all that but her, and that if she reprioritized her life, her kid could probably have it.
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Leanna 06:11 PM 06-18-2013
I don't think her requests are unreasonable. I think that this mom has managed to put into words exactly what most parents want for their child. There are some things that many FCC's won't be able to accommodate (like the bleach, which is required for disinfecting in NYS) but as she looks into daycares she will see where she has to compromise and where she can have things how she prefers them for her child.
PS How old is the child? Is this her first child? An only child?
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SilverSabre25 07:30 PM 06-18-2013
some of it certainly won't work in a daycare setting (rocking to sleep, no cry ever, that sort of thing)

but, some of it like the food requests and the scent requests would work with certain providers (me for example).

And some, like the crying, makes me think this is AP-Gone-Wrong. Which gives all AP parents a bad rap. And annoys the crap out of me.

And her phrasing in the sentence about no TV makes it sound like she wants little to no outdoor play, arts and crafts, etc. I know what she meant, but this is why sentence structure is important! Reminds me of a grammar joke, actually.

Originally Posted by :
"Let's eat, Grandma!"
"Let's eat Grandma!"
See? Punctuation saves lives!
ROFL! (Yes, I think that sort of thing is funny. And I laugh at my own jokes )

oookay...going to bed...
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Blackcat31 08:10 PM 06-18-2013
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:

ROFL! (Yes, I think that sort of thing is funny. And I laugh at my own jokes )

oookay...going to bed...
I thought it was funny!

I've always heard grammar was the difference between
Feeling you're nuts & feeling your nuts.
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cheerfuldom 08:56 PM 06-18-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I thought it was funny!

I've always heard grammar was the difference between
Feeling you're nuts & feeling your nuts.
bad BC! go to bed! LOL
Reply
daycarediva 04:52 AM 06-19-2013
Originally Posted by Leigh:
Honestly, it's about what you're willing to give up, and I gave up the job of a lifetime (with one of the nation's premier employers). I gave up healthcare for life, a great pension, my income was more than twice the average HOUSEHOLD income in my area, a great work environment (with awesome coworkers), and the best benefits around. I gave it up for a little boy who was just starting to walk and talk-he was 10 months old when I decided that I wasn't going to let someone else experience his exciting milestones. I wanted to be the one to comfort him when he was ill, to be the one who teaches him to use the potty, and mostly, to be the one he knew he could always count on.

It's been hell financially (I make less per month now than I used to make in a week), I haven't had a massage in over a year, or a haircut in about 8 months, no more weekend vacations, no new car this year. I don't miss my old life, and I feel SO sorry for moms who feel that their careers or money are more important than their kids. I know a SAHM who lives in an old trailer house and whose husband is barely bringing home enough to make ends meet. When I was working, I thought her lazy-couldn't understand why she would stay home when she was ABLE to work. Now, I get it. Her kids are WAAAY more important to her than money is. They're all she's ever talked about. And what she is giving them is worth so much more than trips to Disneyland, a fancy house, a new car, or anything else.

How I'd love to tell "fussymom" who posted that CL ad that NO ONE is going to give her kid all that but her, and that if she reprioritized her life, her kid could probably have it.


I thought the same thing until I had kids as well. It REALLY changes your perspective on things. I do love my job though, if I could afford to be a sahm, I would probably have gone legally unlicensed and cared for 1-2 kids M-Th, or something like that.
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mrsnj 06:05 AM 06-19-2013

That ad made my day!!

Makes me grateful for my parents I have! LOL! They aren't all looking so bad!
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TheGoodLife 07:06 AM 06-19-2013
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
And her phrasing in the sentence about no TV makes it sound like she wants little to no outdoor play, arts and crafts, etc. I know what she meant, but this is why sentence structure is important! Reminds me of a grammar joke, actually.



ROFL! (Yes, I think that sort of thing is funny. And I laugh at my own jokes )

oookay...going to bed...
Ha, I thought that about her phrasing as well- I had to reread to check what she meant!
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TheGoodLife 07:07 AM 06-19-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I thought it was funny!

I've always heard grammar was the difference between
Feeling you're nuts & feeling your nuts.
LOL a lot with that one!!
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MarinaVanessa 07:19 AM 06-19-2013
Originally Posted by Mama2Bella:
LOL a lot with that one!!
I agree about the grammar as well. All I've ever known are examples in spanish but now I have a couple of English examples too.
Here is my favorite example of all time of the importance of punctuation (in spanish)

Mi papá tiene 57 años = my dad is 57 years old
Mi papa tiene 57 anos = my potato has 57 [bleep]holes
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cheerfuldom 07:50 AM 06-19-2013
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I agree about the grammar as well. All I've ever known are examples in spanish but now I have a couple of English examples too.
Here is my favorite example of all time of the importance of punctuation (in spanish)

Mi papá tiene 57 años = my dad is 57 years old
Mi papa tiene 57 anos = my potato has 57 [bleep]holes
LOL I can't stop laughing!!!
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Lyss 08:28 AM 06-19-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I thought it was funny!

I've always heard grammar was the difference between
Feeling you're nuts & feeling your nuts.


Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I agree about the grammar as well. All I've ever known are examples in spanish but now I have a couple of English examples too.
Here is my favorite example of all time of the importance of punctuation (in spanish)

Mi papá tiene 57 años = my dad is 57 years old
Mi papa tiene 57 anos = my potato has 57 [bleep]holes



I always remember...

Grammar:
The difference between knowing your sh!t and knowing you're sh!t!
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JoseyJo 08:47 AM 06-19-2013
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:

Mi papá tiene 57 años = my dad is 57 years old
Mi papa tiene 57 anos = my potato has 57 [bleep]holes
Seriously almost sprayed coffee all over my computer!
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MarinaVanessa 09:06 AM 06-19-2013
Originally Posted by Lyss:







I always remember...

Grammar:
The difference between knowing your sh!t and knowing you're sh!t!
I LOVE IT!!! I am seriously writing these down!

Originally Posted by JoseyJo:
Seriously almost sprayed coffee all over my computer!
Ooops ... so sorry
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:25 AM 06-19-2013
This thread!
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Nebula 11:02 AM 06-19-2013
I also do private nanny/babysitting (I do all trades) ironically, what started out as just having a few toys if clients wanted to bring their children here, has become a full time business
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Cat Herder 11:56 AM 06-19-2013
Maybe the ad was to prove to her husband and/or MIL that she must stay home and not work.

*After all, even the WAHM's (like home childcare providers), who *are* home, can't do all that their DD needs to grow up as the special snowflake she is.
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Heidi 12:11 PM 06-19-2013
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Maybe the ad was to prove to her husband and/or MIL that she must stay home and not work.

*After all, even the WAHM's (like home childcare providers), who *are* home, can't do all that their DD needs to grow up as the special snowflake she is.
True....this is one of the weapons in a woman's arsenal. The "well, I tried" technique...
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MarinaVanessa 01:14 PM 06-19-2013
You know the more that I think about the ad itself the more that I agree with Leanna. I don't think that any of her requests are unreasonable, it will just be difficult to find a DC that has everything on her wishlist and she will have to decide which ones are non-negotiables and which she can bend on. Also for some of her quilifications she will have to be willing to pay at the higher end of child care rates for group care. I mean really:

-In-home daycare with a small number of children. Unless she means one or two children max, all small FCC homes like those of use that have 6-8 maximum number of kids can be considered a "small number of children"
-Part-time two half days and one full day. Okay, not altogether that difficult if on a regular basis, sounds like PT care to me
-Experience and education in child care preferred ,CPR and First Aid training,licensed, references. Many of us are experienced, okay no problem there. Education ... I'm sure many of us have taken some sort of child development class or workshop and if not she said preferred, not that it was a requirement. CPR and First Aid .. that's a requirement in my state so no problem there. She wants Licensed, also not a horrible requirement. References, yes okay that's smart and very recommended.
-Breakfast and lunch given including healthy meals (little to no processed food, no sugary snacks or drinks, fruits and vegetables given frequently, not a lot of pasta, bread, and things of the sort given frequently). We can pack her a lunch if necessary. Okay most of us provide meals that are healthy and based on the food program guidelines which includes no sugary snacks or drinks and servings of fruit and veggies so no problem there. Very reasonable. As far as not having frequent pasta and bread I think as long as she understands that the healthy meals that are served are based on the food program and meet dietary guidelines of the recommended foods and protion for each child I'm sure that she will be fine with that. Sounds to me like she just wants balanced meals. It's not like she's asking for home-grown organic foods.
-No yelling, no spanking or other physical punishment, no shaming, no time outs to be in line with our gentle parenting We shouldn't be yelling anyway, and no spanking of course, shaming is deffinetely out of the question (it's emotional abuse after all) and no time outs ... I personally find time out ineffective anyway and don't do them so I don't find this shocking. I find that redirection, talking it out and prevention works better than time out anyway so not a huge deal here.
-Absolutely NO crying-it-out at nap times or any other time. She does well going to sleep on a cot while being patted for a few minutes. Depending on the age of the child CIO isn't recommended for kids under 1yo anyway and in all honesty if the child is older than that and cries before naptime a good 'ol back patting or rubbing is not being unreasonable. Child will transition eventually and grow older and not need this after some time.
-Little to no television, fun activities, learning through play, arts and crafts, out door play, etc. Definitely nothing ridiculous here. SOunds like my program.
-No harsh disinfectants and cleaning products like bleach. Somewhat harder to fulfill since in my area bleach is what is recommended but perhaps asking the parent what they use at home to disinfect isn't unreasonable. As long as it sanitizes right? If licensing requires bleach then explaining that licensed care cannot accommodate that should be enough. Either that or she can find license exempt child care. Here is one that she will have to decide what is more important = no bleach or licensed care.
-A clean, no smoking and as fragrance-free of a home as possible (we prefer no scented candles, scented plug-ins, fabreeze, heavy perfume, etc.). Obviously we all need to stay clean and not smoke around the kids. Not everyone smokes so finding a smoke free home isn't that hard to find, my home is one in fact. fragrance free just sounds like she wants an eco-friendly child care. Not that difficult to do but more common in larger cities vs smaller cities/towns. She also says that fragrance free "as possible" not that it's a requirement. I already do this as well (I use natural essential oils for fragrance)


Most importantly we need someone who loves children and is passionate about them. Nothing out of the ordinary here.We would want someone who is patient and understanding with a big heart and can run their daycare without taking out their stresses on the children. I don't find anything outlandish here either.


The above is the ad.

I talked to this mom and she had further requirements as well. (I did not respond to this ad, she contacted me before posting)

-She does not guarantee a drop off time. She wants a 45 min. window of drop off depending on when her daughter gets up (okay, but I wouldn't be able to guarantee that I would be home but I would be fine with her calling/texting me to see where I was and dropping the child off where I was on the off chance that we were on a walk or at the park) and also wants breakfast whenever they show up This would be a no-no for me and I would stress the importance of a routine and schedule for children. I serve meals when I serve them and if they miss out then they miss out but another meal is soon to come ... I serve meals and snacks every 2 hours).
-She wants someone willing to do prolonged rocking or whatever it takes to get her daughter thru nap with no crying and also, whatever attention is needed to avoid crying during the day I'd give her a heap load of information by child professionals ... many Pro AP parenting ... about how crying is a part of child development and healthy and explain the methods that I use to give the children the tools they need in order to work out frustrations and prevent/handle crying)

AND she said her current provider decided to close down her daycare. gee, I wonder why? I think the "can run their daycare without taking out their stresses on the children" shows what she really thinks of her current provider.
As far as this ... well I don't know why the DC provider closed her daycare down but if it were because of this DCP only then it would make sense to term the client, not close the whole DC down KWIM? The provider could have just reached the end of her patience and career and that's why she closed down. That would make sense to me as far as the DCP's comment.

All in all the only conflict that I see is
the bleach
the rocking
and the feeding whenever the client shows up
Everything else seems pretty normal to me even though I may or may not be able to provide a completely eco-friendly atmosphere for her, if this DCM called me and couldn't let go on the bleach (or didn't have an alternative solution for me, the rocking (which I would not be willing to do for a child that was not an infant) or the feeding when they showed up I'd be able to refer her to 3 DCP's that probably wouldn't mind this type of client.


I told her I didnt think I would be a good fit
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AmyKidsCo 01:21 PM 06-19-2013
I would be worried that if she were that picky at the very beginning that other issues would come up. Unless she's more flexible than the ad sounds, and the ad is just her "perfect world" wishes. But if she's not flexible then I agree that she'd probably be happier with a nanny.
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cheerfuldom 03:51 PM 06-19-2013
I see what you are saying Marina. My point was that she wanted A LOT. yes most if not all is reasonable if you are taking care of your own child or willing to pay a higher rate for nanny care. I talked to this person. She was not budging on her list and in the course of a half dozen emails, she added even more to the list. She also said more about her previous provider which lead me to believe that the provider is not shutting down/closing, but actually what she is doing is downsizing....which may be a nice way of the previous provider to term this mom without terming. Again, that is just a guess but I would be surprised if I was wrong.

and some of it was about the way she was saying things, not necessarily the actual thing. we discussed the fragrance and cleaning issues for instance and her attitude was very demanding. i myself have a fragrance free home and make all of my own cleaning products, no bleach but I didnt have a problem with what she was saying so much as how she was saying it. She mentioned "no crying" in every email.....
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MarinaVanessa 04:16 PM 06-19-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I see what you are saying Marina. My point was that she wanted A LOT. yes most if not all is reasonable if you are taking care of your own child or willing to pay a higher rate for nanny care. I talked to this person. She was not budging on her list and in the course of a half dozen emails, she added even more to the list. She also said more about her previous provider which lead me to believe that the provider is not shutting down/closing, but actually what she is doing is downsizing....which may be a nice way of the previous provider to term this mom without terming. Again, that is just a guess but I would be surprised if I was wrong.
Ahh I see, I have to admit that even I have used this line (quite soon actually) and said that I was "downsizing" due to my pregnancy and in preparation of my new baby's birth in early August. I see what you are saying and it does make sense.
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cheerfuldom 08:11 PM 06-19-2013
UPDATE!

hey all, guess what? this mom facebooked me and has had no other options come up for daycare, surprise surprise. she wants to renew our old convo about daycare but I politely reminded her of what I said before. I wouldnt be the right fit for her based on our previous conversations. She said she has tried so many places and talked to so many people....and is still looking.

anyway, just between all of us, even if she was willing to budge on her list, I am still not going to take her because I was not good enough for her a week ago so I already know that even if they started here, she would feel that I wasnt good enough.

ANOTHER UPDATE

I popped over to her Facebook page and now I think I will look at other prospective parents on Facebook too to weed out people! LOL She is married, has one kid, is a SAHM yet says several places that daycare provides her "me time". She told me her daughter only needed a little patting to go to sleep but on her FB she said her daughter just started sleeping thru the night (almost 2 years old), screams bloody murder when its time to go to bed or nap, wakes up horribly grouchy. she also said in several places that their family is a child-led family. sounds delightful LOL I am confused why she is so AP style with no sleep training and other things like that yet sends her kid to daycare when she is a SAHM? they dont cloth diaper, cosleep, or babywear but she is very big on posting about no cry it out with articles and snarky comments like "I dont care how other people parent but I do care that other parents are un-informed" so yeah, the crying thing is obviously a biggie. She also talks about how much TV they which (sounds like a lot of TV) yet wants a daycare that limits or does no TV at all. its seriously not adding up at all. so glad I dodged that bullet!
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Starburst 10:06 PM 06-19-2013
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I agree about the grammar as well. All I've ever known are examples in spanish but now I have a couple of English examples too.
Here is my favorite example of all time of the importance of punctuation (in spanish)

Mi papá tiene 57 años = my dad is 57 years old
Mi papa tiene 57 anos = my potato has 57 [bleep]holes
lol I saw that one the other day on Facebook
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Starburst 10:16 PM 06-19-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
UPDATE!

hey all, guess what? this mom facebooked me and has had no other options come up for daycare, surprise surprise. she wants to renew our old convo about daycare but I politely reminded her of what I said before. I wouldnt be the right fit for her based on our previous conversations. She said she has tried so many places and talked to so many people....and is still looking.

anyway, just between all of us, even if she was willing to budge on her list, I am still not going to take her because I was not good enough for her a week ago so I already know that even if they started here, she would feel that I wasnt good enough.

ANOTHER UPDATE

I popped over to her Facebook page and now I think I will look at other prospective parents on Facebook too to weed out people! LOL She is married, has one kid, is a SAHM yet says several places that daycare provides her "me time". She told me her daughter only needed a little patting to go to sleep but on her FB she said her daughter just started sleeping thru the night (almost 2 years old), screams bloody murder when its time to go to bed or nap, wakes up horribly grouchy. she also said in several places that their family is a child-led family. sounds delightful LOL I am confused why she is so AP style with no sleep training and other things like that yet sends her kid to daycare when she is a SAHM? they dont cloth diaper, cosleep, or babywear but she is very big on posting about no cry it out with articles and snarky comments like "I dont care how other people parent but I do care that other parents are un-informed" so yeah, the crying thing is obviously a biggie. She also talks about how much TV they which (sounds like a lot of TV) yet wants a daycare that limits or does no TV at all. its seriously not adding up at all. so glad I dodged that bullet!
Wow, what a snob! Did she even think about what she said and how "well behaved" her child is? Hopefully you deleted (and blocked) her from Facebook.
Reply
Lyss 10:28 PM 06-19-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
UPDATE!

hey all, guess what? this mom facebooked me and has had no other options come up for daycare, surprise surprise. she wants to renew our old convo about daycare but I politely reminded her of what I said before. I wouldnt be the right fit for her based on our previous conversations. She said she has tried so many places and talked to so many people....and is still looking.

anyway, just between all of us, even if she was willing to budge on her list, I am still not going to take her because I was not good enough for her a week ago so I already know that even if they started here, she would feel that I wasnt good enough.

ANOTHER UPDATE

I popped over to her Facebook page and now I think I will look at other prospective parents on Facebook too to weed out people! LOL She is married, has one kid, is a SAHM yet says several places that daycare provides her "me time". She told me her daughter only needed a little patting to go to sleep but on her FB she said her daughter just started sleeping thru the night (almost 2 years old), screams bloody murder when its time to go to bed or nap, wakes up horribly grouchy. she also said in several places that their family is a child-led family. sounds delightful LOL I am confused why she is so AP style with no sleep training and other things like that yet sends her kid to daycare when she is a SAHM? they dont cloth diaper, cosleep, or babywear but she is very big on posting about no cry it out with articles and snarky comments like "I dont care how other people parent but I do care that other parents are un-informed" so yeah, the crying thing is obviously a biggie. She also talks about how much TV they which (sounds like a lot of TV) yet wants a daycare that limits or does no TV at all. its seriously not adding up at all. so glad I dodged that bullet!
Totally dodged a bullet!

I always Facebook people that contact me! I mainly started to check that it was a "real" person verses craigslist spammers but now I do it for everyone that contacts me! I even occasionally check in on current parents (I'm not friends with any of them)! I guess I'm a bit nosey!
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LK5kids 06:13 AM 06-20-2013
This parent needs to be a SAHM!!!
Reply
Blackcat31 07:05 AM 06-20-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
She also talks about how much TV they which (sounds like a lot of TV) yet wants a daycare that limits or does no TV at all. its seriously not adding up at all. so glad I dodged that bullet!
Parents don't want their child to watch TV at daycare because they want to be able to turn it on at home and have the kid be engrossed then so the parent doesn't have to deal....

Cheer, I'd be half tempted to be 100% honest with this mom and tell her she is crazy....you might be doing her a HUGE favor.
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cheerfuldom 09:38 AM 06-20-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Parents don't want their child to watch TV at daycare because they want to be able to turn it on at home and have the kid be engrossed then so the parent doesn't have to deal....

Cheer, I'd be half tempted to be 100% honest with this mom and tell her she is crazy....you might be doing her a HUGE favor.
oh I know WHY she was asking for no TV but it was just annoying to see her so hypocritical. She was all superior with me about what she demanded for her child yet is obviously okay with all those things at home (like TV).
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Leigh 10:42 AM 06-20-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Parents don't want their child to watch TV at daycare because they want to be able to turn it on at home and have the kid be engrossed then so the parent doesn't have to deal....

Cheer, I'd be half tempted to be 100% honest with this mom and tell her she is crazy....you might be doing her a HUGE favor.
Oh, ain't THAT the truth. I have a DCM who tells her kids at drop off: Maybe you'll go to the park today. Umm, that just GUARANTEES that I am not taking your kids there. She hates the park. It's much easier for her to have me take 12 kids to the park than for her to take just her 2.

This mom told me on first day drop off, please don't let them watch TV all day-it gets them wound up. They tell me ALL the time about how much TV they watch at home, they know every character on every show. She tells me to make sure they don't nap too much here. She told me absolutely NO sugary treats (I don't give them anyway), but the kids show up with chocolate all over their faces all the time from the cookies she feeds them for breakfast.

They're REALLY good parents when their kids are at daycare, and then when the kids get home, they're lazy. I know that you don't always FEEL like a trip to the park or the zoo or like going for a walk after a long day at work, but it's what GOOD parents do.
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cheerfuldom 02:46 PM 06-20-2013
Originally Posted by Leigh:
Oh, ain't THAT the truth. I have a DCM who tells her kids at drop off: Maybe you'll go to the park today. Umm, that just GUARANTEES that I am not taking your kids there. She hates the park. It's much easier for her to have me take 12 kids to the park than for her to take just her 2.

This mom told me on first day drop off, please don't let them watch TV all day-it gets them wound up. They tell me ALL the time about how much TV they watch at home, they know every character on every show. She tells me to make sure they don't nap too much here. She told me absolutely NO sugary treats (I don't give them anyway), but the kids show up with chocolate all over their faces all the time from the cookies she feeds them for breakfast.

They're REALLY good parents when their kids are at daycare, and then when the kids get home, they're lazy. I know that you don't always FEEL like a trip to the park or the zoo or like going for a walk after a long day at work, but it's what GOOD parents do.
They're REALLY good parents when their kids are at daycare,

thats hilarious. everyone is supermom when you arent actually mothering! LOL you know what to do and you expect everyone else to do it but there is always an excuse why you cant do it yourself.
Reply
EntropyControlSpecialist 05:26 PM 06-20-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
UPDATE!

hey all, guess what? this mom facebooked me and has had no other options come up for daycare, surprise surprise. she wants to renew our old convo about daycare but I politely reminded her of what I said before. I wouldnt be the right fit for her based on our previous conversations. She said she has tried so many places and talked to so many people....and is still looking.

anyway, just between all of us, even if she was willing to budge on her list, I am still not going to take her because I was not good enough for her a week ago so I already know that even if they started here, she would feel that I wasnt good enough.

ANOTHER UPDATE

I popped over to her Facebook page and now I think I will look at other prospective parents on Facebook too to weed out people! LOL She is married, has one kid, is a SAHM yet says several places that daycare provides her "me time". She told me her daughter only needed a little patting to go to sleep but on her FB she said her daughter just started sleeping thru the night (almost 2 years old), screams bloody murder when its time to go to bed or nap, wakes up horribly grouchy. she also said in several places that their family is a child-led family. sounds delightful LOL I am confused why she is so AP style with no sleep training and other things like that yet sends her kid to daycare when she is a SAHM? they dont cloth diaper, cosleep, or babywear but she is very big on posting about no cry it out with articles and snarky comments like "I dont care how other people parent but I do care that other parents are un-informed" so yeah, the crying thing is obviously a biggie. She also talks about how much TV they which (sounds like a lot of TV) yet wants a daycare that limits or does no TV at all. its seriously not adding up at all. so glad I dodged that bullet!
Crying and tantruming because you don't want to go to sleep at the age of 2 (or almost 2) is not crying it out. It's called being a brat.

... says the hippie (cloth diapering/co-sleeping/babywearing/etc.), AP parent.
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blandino 05:43 PM 06-20-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
Crying and tantruming because you don't want to go to sleep at the age of 2 (or almost 2) is not crying it out. It's called being a brat.

... says the hippie (cloth diapering/co-sleeping/babywearing/etc.), AP parent.
Yes !!!!!!!!!!!!

At age 2 crying is a completely different ball game. I have a 16 month old whose parents rock her to sleep every night and have recently tried to stop rocking her before she is fully asleep. And mom was astonished that she cried for 1-2 minutes only. She was expecting much longer. I had to tell her that typically people attempt sleep training much younger and also aren't rocking the baby 90% to sleep. Regardless of what you think about sleep training - it was very cute/funny.
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UNREGD 07:20 PM 06-20-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
They're REALLY good parents when their kids are at daycare,

thats hilarious. everyone is supermom when you arent actually mothering! LOL you know what to do and you expect everyone else to do it but there is always an excuse why you cant do it yourself.
That's awesome! LOL

Just something I noted from being a mom (And former provider):

Tuesday, I was really not feeling well. I PROMISED my kids they would *not* miss their VBS outing. Tues Morning I wake up with migraine, nauseous and everything hurting. In spite of this, I rolled out of bed, showered, brushed teeth and got a piece of toast. I managed to go downstairs and actually keep my toast down and wake the kids up. I found their shirts that they needed and woke them up and got them ready to go (fed and everything). I really did NOT want to even go. I told the kids "Wow, I really feel sick today. I'm just not feeling up to really wanting to go to your VBS but I promised you so I will keep my promise" My kids at the END of the day gave me a hug and one of them said "Thanks mom for taking us even though you were sick. You didn't have to keep your promise if you were sick, but we're glad you did"

I said to them "I don't break my promises if I can help it and that's why I made sure you were able to go"

Got more hugs and kisses.

I guess my only point to the story is that being a parent sometimes means DOING STUFF you don't want to do. I don't understand why a parent would expect so much from a dcp when they are not doing things that way at home? What a mixed message to send to the kids and probably a lot of why kids are so naughty these days!
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