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Old 04-05-2011, 02:21 PM
MamaBear MamaBear is offline
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Default Nightmare Daycare Baby & Mom... Oye

Sorry this is long...

So I started a new 7 month old boy in my daycare yesterday. I was really nervous about taking a new infant in the daycare, but at the tour the mom kept telling me how laid back and what a happy baby he is.

So Monday morning he gets dropped off... The mom leaves really fast and I realize she didnt pay me! Uh Oh. And then I realize she didnt bring wipes for him. All things she knew to bring. So that sucked. But I was trying to concentrate on this new little guy for now.

So all seemd fine for about 20 minutes. Then the crying began. Not just an ordinary cry but an OMG super loud shrilling cry that was deafening. I tried EVERYTHING from holding him, bouncing him, feeding him, changing him, walking with him, putting him in a bouncer, highchair, and more holding him... Nothing would work. It was insane! I've never had a baby like this before. Even walking outside wouldnt work.

So after 3 hours of him crying and then him falling asleep to wake up 10 minutes later to cry again, I tried calling the mom. She doesnt answer her phone and after a couple messages and text messages she calls me back an hour later! She THEN tells me that the baby had a temp of 101.5 that morning!! WHAT THE HECK????

I explain to her that he should not have even came. Wow... She babbles on and on how he is not a fussy baby and she doesnt understand why he is crying so much for me. I tell her I dont know either and how I've tried everything but basically its probably because she sent him to daycare with a fever. So she sends her friend to pick him up who is also his previous babysitter of all people.

When the babysitter picks up, she tells me that he might be sick, but this is basically his personality. She says he cries all the time and the only reason she watched him for 4 months was because the mom is her friend. Wowzers. SO now I know that he might be sick, but hes also a very fussy baby on top of it.

So around 4pm I get a text from the mom that says she took the baby to the dr and he has an ear infection with a temp of 98.9 now so could he come to daycare the next day (today). I said as long as his temp stays down and hes not super fussy AND if she brings the drs note stating his diagnosis and that hes clear to come to daycare, then it would be okay. I also asked if he was on antibiotics for it.

She replies a few minutes later that she doesnt have a drs note and she wasnt sure if the baby was antibiotics --- WHAT??? How do you not know that??? She also asked does she have to go all the way back to the dr to get a note for me? I said he cant come the next day unless she brings the note (all this is in my policy)... She started to argue me via text that he is not normally a fussy baby and now the dr is closed so what is she supposed to do. I KNEW she was lying. She obviously didnt take him to the dr - she just wanted to make me think that is why he was so fussy.

So all night I was so irritated wondering if this woman would try to show up this morning without a note or what. So she calls me at 730am and tells me that the baby would stay with the dad today and that she wants to find a new daycare for the baby. THANK THE LORD is what I was thinking!!

So she came and picked up his things and tells me that she feels he needs a daycare provider that is more "hands on" than me! WHAT?! Oh man. I felt a twitch when she said that and so I replied to her "Wow, really? I held your son for hours trying to console him. I was as hands-on as anyone can get" She apologized and then proceeded to stick her foot down her throat again saying that maybe I cant balance her son with my toddlers so she should probably find a daycare lady who has a large daycare that can spend more one on one time with her son... That made no sense - but whatever. Then she hands me $40 for the one day... She was supposed to pay for the full week but at that point I just wanted her gone.

Oh and she didnt have a dr's note either to prove her lies. I think this might have been the true reason why she quit --- because she knew she was busted on her lie about him having an ear infection & she couldnt back it up. After hearing what her "babysitter" told me, i knew that his mood with me was the "norm".

So anyway, I ended my conversation with her by telling her this: "I have one bit of advice for you with your future daycare... When you go to your daycare tour and the provider asks about your son's personality and what he's like in a daycare type setting - Dont tell them that he is a super laid back calm baby if he is happens to be a fussy baby because that is just setting up for failure, like what happened here. BUT if he HONESTLY does have an ear infection then maybe thats why he was fussy here. That we'll never really know for sure. So if thats the case, then let his antibiotics cure him before you start at a new daycare so that he will be the happy baby they hope for. Communication & honesty is a huge deal between you and a daycare provider. So anyway - Good luck with that" She left pretty quickly after that as I smiled and waved happily as she left I was so relieved!

MAN! I dont know who was worse... the super fussy baby or the lying mother! Thank God I'm done with them though. What a huge relief!
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  #2  
Old 04-05-2011, 02:43 PM
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youretooloud youretooloud is offline
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A fussy baby, I can handle. A lying parent, I can't. I bet the babysitter was nervous when the mom said "can you pick him up from daycare?"
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Old 04-05-2011, 02:53 PM
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wow, omg I think I need to pick my mouth off the floor.
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Old 04-05-2011, 03:35 PM
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I wouldve told her "oh yeah? I talked to your friend and got the impression that this was his normal temperament." and waited forget reaction. I know it's a client lost but I cant help feeling like you really dodged a bullet here lol
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  #5  
Old 04-05-2011, 03:46 PM
wdmmom wdmmom is offline
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I've heard a lot of baloney in my day but yeah, I think BUH BYE takes the cake on this one!! Don't let the door hit ya...well, you know how it goes! I think the sanity by far out weighs the income on this one!
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  #6  
Old 04-05-2011, 03:47 PM
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cheerfuldom cheerfuldom is offline
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OMG! what an awful day. I hate that she lied to you on top of all the other things. She clearly has no idea what she is getting into by putting him in regular babysitter versus a friend helping out and just surviving for mom's sake. I'm glad you said something to her about it though. I had to call one mama out on that sort of thing once. She lied and said she had to pick up her son's stuff on the weekend because they "ran out of clean laundry". No surprise, they didn't come Monday and she wouldn't answer my calls for three days. Finally when I did talk to her, I called her out and said that no matter how she felt about my daycare, lying and then withdrawing with no notice was completely inappropriate. I think she was pretty shocked that I was so straight forward.
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  #7  
Old 04-05-2011, 04:25 PM
MamaBear MamaBear is offline
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Default Thanks :)

Thanks guys! Yeah its a pretty sucky feeling to be lied to by a daycare parent. It really puts a sour feeling in my stomach and makes me not want to deal with them at all when I feel lied to.

I thank God that it ended early on instead of being lied to over & over by the mom. It was definitely the worst start that I've ever had with a daycare parent. I've learned over the years doind daycare that my sanity comes first before the little bit of money I'd make from a lot of drama and stress.

I WISH I had said something about what her babysitter told me regarding him being fussy all the time like she said... but I totally forgot during the conversation to bring it up. I hate when that happens when later I think of "what I could have said/should have said". Oh wells. I'm just SO happy thats over! The things us daycare providers have to go thru! Oye vay!
Part of me wishes I terminated them before she came her trying to "fire" me! haha... oh well.

It makes me think of that quote I love:

"Sometimes "Rejection" is God's greatest "Protection"... Amen!
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Old 04-05-2011, 05:02 PM
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Kaddidle Care Kaddidle Care is offline
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It's probably a good thing that you didn't mention what the other babysitter said to you because that one is her friend and probably her only back up sitter at this point.

When you were describing what was going on and his age the first thing I thought was teething. They can get gassy and upset and SCREAM when they are feeling miserable.

But.. it was a different story. I think the Mom knows she got caught in a lie and that's that. Done. At least you got paid for the day.
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  #9  
Old 04-05-2011, 08:30 PM
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I think that the most surprising part of doing home daycare for me was finding out how much parents lie about their child. Some kids are so challenging they could cause someone to go over the edge and do something not so nice to them, so if I were a parent leaving my kid in another's care, I'd be totally upfront so that person has the option not to take care of my kid if they don't feel they can handle it.

I can't believe a parent would tell someone their kid is an angel when they are really a screaming banchee all day. They're putting their child at risk.

I'm glad you got out of this one. You'll find a better client!
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Old 04-05-2011, 08:35 PM
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Its a mature (and frankly, unique) parent to admit that their child is anything but a joy to be around. I don't think that most parents are even fully aware that what they are saying about their child is completely untrue. It is easier and more comforting to continue in a cloud of denial and hope that if they say something long enough, people will believe them and treat their child accordingly. I am amazed at what parents will lie about. It really shouldn't surprise me anymore because it happens ALL the time. Plus some of it is a matter of perspective. If she is a working mom who is able to keep fussy baby happy for an hour or two before he goes to bed at night then yes, to her, he IS easy. Not the case for the person who has to actually take care of him the rest of the time he is awake. I also find that parents are comforted in having reasons for their childs behavior outside of the child just having a difficult personality or worse, being a brat from inconsistent parenting. The favorite is teething. I have had parents suggest that their child was teething constantly from like 2 months old on up to several years old. Seriously, teething cannot last that long!!
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Old 04-05-2011, 09:03 PM
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It is good for you that you resolved this situation very fast. I was in a similiar situation where the parent was not completely honest about her child. When her 3 year was enrolled with me, I was the 4th childcare provider they had. Seems much to me for only 3 years old. Anyways..at first the child seemed to only have issues during naptime, crying and screaming. Then he would not want to sit down during a planned lesson activity. When spoken too, he would turn his back to me and roll his eyes, if I needed to tell him to do or not to do something, he would cry or have an attitude about it, he would hit or bite the other child in care, not share well and was just a challenge all day. He even kicked me when I took away a toy he was not suppose to be throwing. When parent would pick him up and I would tell her how he behaved, she would say, "oh, he didn't have a good night's sleep", he was tired" well it seems he didnt have a good nights sleep the two months he was with me. I started noticing that he may have autism. She never put that down on any of the paperwork. I never approached her with it. I reminded her that she needs to give me the health form signed by the doctor. She would give me excuses about it. Well summer came and she didn't need childcare. I didn't charge her during summer to hold the spot. Well to be a good provider and person, I called her and asked if she needed to enroll him again for the fall, she said yes. I remined her that she then must bring me the signed health form from the doctor before he starts. Well after two weeks, she calls me and tells me she enrolled him somewhere closer to her job. Thank Goodness... later on, I found that he did have some form of autism. I don't know why she was hiding it from me. I don't understand parents. Instead of telling me that he has issues he can't help, I would have approached him and worked with him a way he would better respond to.
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Old 04-06-2011, 05:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PeanutsGalore View Post
I think that the most surprising part of doing home daycare for me was finding out how much parents lie about their child. Some kids are so challenging they could cause someone to go over the edge and do something not so nice to them, so if I were a parent leaving my kid in another's care, I'd be totally upfront so that person has the option not to take care of my kid if they don't feel they can handle it.

I can't believe a parent would tell someone their kid is an angel when they are really a screaming banchee all day. They're putting their child at risk.
Exactly! You see the cases all the time (most from negligence/ignorance) but a lot of the "baby wouldnt stop crying, I was so mad I shook it!"


Quote:
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom View Post
I have had parents suggest that their child was teething constantly from like 2 months old on up to several years old. Seriously, teething cannot last that long!!
Case and point the one kid I have here that chews on everything. High fever and runny nose? Teething apparently! Then a few weeks later the "oh dck has a ear infection so dck is on a z pak for it". Then the fever and runny nose "magically" goes away. Chewing on my walls but not teething toys? Teething once again apparently.

The parent of the above the dck, told me upon interview that dck was pretty "normal" for being a preemie. I have no experience with preemies so duh was me but let me tell you, unless the dcp is in complete denial, this child has not been normal.

Then again, not many kids are. My ds has been giving us a run for our money lately. Terrible 2s come on down!
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Old 04-06-2011, 08:09 AM
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In my experience anytime a parent tells me "oh so and so is the perfect baby"....I say thank you and goodbye!!! I have just learned that is not the case.
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  #14  
Old 04-06-2011, 09:54 AM
PeanutsGalore
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom View Post
Its a mature (and frankly, unique) parent to admit that their child is anything but a joy to be around. I don't think that most parents are even fully aware that what they are saying about their child is completely untrue. It is easier and more comforting to continue in a cloud of denial and hope that if they say something long enough, people will believe them and treat their child accordingly. I am amazed at what parents will lie about. It really shouldn't surprise me anymore because it happens ALL the time. Plus some of it is a matter of perspective. If she is a working mom who is able to keep fussy baby happy for an hour or two before he goes to bed at night then yes, to her, he IS easy. Not the case for the person who has to actually take care of him the rest of the time he is awake. I also find that parents are comforted in having reasons for their childs behavior outside of the child just having a difficult personality or worse, being a brat from inconsistent parenting. The favorite is teething. I have had parents suggest that their child was teething constantly from like 2 months old on up to several years old. Seriously, teething cannot last that long!!
True, some of it is perspective. Still...my son is absolutely THE MOST PERFECT BABY IN THE WORLD.....but I wouldn't expect anyone else to feel that way, no matter how close it may or may not be to the truth. He's a pretty good kid, but I choose to stay home with him because I know that he can be a handful. And people actually like my kid--still, I know that liking a kid's personality is not the same as having to run after them all day.

I also had a parent pull the teething thing with me! This was after a mysterious "accident" which flared up and made the teething worse...when I pushed for a doctor's note, she didn't come back. Thank god! Apparently, doctors are too expensive, and she would only go if SHE thought it were necessary...but if you can't afford to run your kid to a doctor when you need to, then you should be familiar with every free clinic in your community, because that's just...silly and irresponsible.

Quote:
Originally Posted by E Daycare View Post
Exactly! You see the cases all the time (most from negligence/ignorance) but a lot of the "baby wouldnt stop crying, I was so mad I shook it!"
...
This! Even the most likeable kid can push someone who is maybe having a bad day or isn't all that stable to begin with to shake a baby. Infants and toddlers are the most susceptible group to being abused.
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