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  #1  
Old 05-11-2011, 05:34 PM
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Default Creepy Dad

So I have had this one baby in my care for a year now and I just love him, his mother, and older brother. But his dad gives me the creeps. First off I have no problem with parents coming in on their own to pick up there children... it actually is nicer. But this one dad sneaks in as quiet as he can. There has been several occasions when I have come out of the kitchen to seeing him standing in the living room staring. Once he was standing in the entry way to the kitchen watching me and I had no idea. The amazing thing is is how QUIET he is. My dog barks at EVERY little sound... I mean EVERYTHING. But he can sneak in so quiet the dog has no idea!!! I need advice ladies. I am so not comfortable with this. Thanks so much!!!
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Old 05-11-2011, 05:38 PM
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I would invest in one of those door bell chimes that ding when the door opens. I am having a problem with a family lurking outside listening for awhile before they come in. Im fine with observation but dont hide and do it.
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Old 05-11-2011, 05:40 PM
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I've never felt comfortable with people coming into my house without me letting them in. Maybe you could just change your policy, keep the door locked and have them knock on the door? I know that it will make your dogs bark (it makes my 3 bark!) but if this guy creeps you out, then I think it's worth it.

If they ask why the change, just explain that you thought about it and don't want to leave your door unlocked anymore, simply as a safety precaution. You never know who might just walk right in
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Old 05-11-2011, 05:46 PM
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I think I will do both these things! Thanks ladies!!!
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Old 05-11-2011, 05:54 PM
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NO WAY

Lock your door and tell him the reason you are doing it is because he has been able to come in your home without detection. If he can so can anyone else.

The idea that a parent can come in your house unnanounced is so rediculous to me. THIS IS WHY.

Do you think the other daycare parents would be cool with him doing this? Being around their kid and you not even know he was in the house?

My dcp's would FLIP OUT if I allowed this.
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Old 05-11-2011, 05:54 PM
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I've never had a problem with my parents just walking in. One mother even had a key to my house. BUT, I would have a big problem with somebody lurking in my house without me knowing it. I would either lock the door, or put a bell on the door so you know when he is in your house.

If any of your parents question it, just simply tell them that it's for the safety of the children.
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Old 05-11-2011, 06:03 PM
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Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
NO WAY

Lock your door and tell him the reason you are doing it is because he has been able to come in your home without detection. If he can so can anyone else.

The idea that a parent can come in your house unnanounced is so rediculous to me. THIS IS WHY.

Do you think the other daycare parents would be cool with him doing this? Being around their kid and you not even know he was in the house?

My dcp's would FLIP OUT if I allowed this.
As a man I have a problem with this guy. I agree, lock your door. Your instincts are corrent. If I was your husband I would sneak up behind him and let him know I was watching HIM.
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Old 05-11-2011, 06:04 PM
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So would it be chicken of me to have my husband talk to the guy to tell him the problem? I want to address it but just am a bit chicken myself.

snowborden1

Last edited by Michael; 05-11-2011 at 06:10 PM.
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  #9  
Old 05-11-2011, 06:04 PM
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Default Lock the door

I used to leave my door unlocked when I first started doing daycare until one of the parents used to freely walk in and freak me out like that too. I realized that if he could just walk in - then ANYONE could. So I changed my policy and started locking my door. I told the parents that I have an open-door policy - meaning they can come by anytime unannounced and to simply knock and I will quickly let them in. I keep the doors locked for the security and protection of all of our children. Nobody questioned it and I'm sure they appreciate the door being secure and nobody able to walk in. My creepy dad still would try to open the door at times! He was a weirdoh too. I finally told him that its always locked and to just knock and then he cut it out. Creepy dads are the worst! lol
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Old 05-11-2011, 06:08 PM
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I think he senses your timidity. He is a fox in the chicken house. I think he actually enjoys the idea of having access to your home. For him to show you that he can be in your house without you knowing is empowering to him. I would let him know he can not treat you and your home that way. Have you husband make a point of it. I would not be nice about it either. Let him know he's crossed a line.
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Old 05-11-2011, 06:36 PM
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My husband just called him and let him know he must knock before he comes in. So thankful for hubby being my backbone! If he does it again I'm gonna have to say adios. I should feel safe in my own home and starting around noon I don't as he comes anytime from noon - 5:30 (as he only works a couple days a week and is at home most the time).
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Old 05-11-2011, 07:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael View Post
I think he senses your timidity. He is a fox in the chicken house. I think he actually enjoys the idea of having access to your home. For him to show you that he can be in your house without you knowing is empowering to him. I would let him know he can not treat you and your home that way. Have you husband make a point of it. I would not be nice about it either. Let him know he's crossed a line.
EXACTLY right.

The thing is that this provider has cared for the kid for a year. After a year of good service, what is the point of showing up and sneaking quietly in?

It can't be to just randomly check the safety of the kid. Just showing up unnanounced sends that message loud and clear. Showing up down the hall with the provider not even knowing how long you have been there????????? That motive is NOT the safety or care of the kid... specially not after a year of service.
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Old 05-11-2011, 07:02 PM
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wow that is creepy!
i would go about it a different way.
i would send out a memo to all families stating that for saftey issues you will be locking the door at all times. Also ask all parents to lock the door behind them when they leave. Give it a few days and then see if the DCD is still acting creepy. If so then I would confrot him right away.

one of my kids moms BF comes to pick up the son and he always tries to open my front door before knocking. He said to me one time hey this is a busniess you need to leave that door unlocked. I said no way not going to happen. Told him that it remained locked for saftey reason for the kids. he then understood. However, a few times when other parents did not lock the door behind them, he walked right in. I told him that I needed him to make himself known before entering. He never did it again
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Old 05-11-2011, 07:05 PM
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I wouldn't talk to anybody about it ahead of time but I would definitely LOCK YOUR DOORS. If he asks tell him it is for the safety of your dc children.

That guy is a weirdo.
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Old 05-11-2011, 07:10 PM
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Yeah that is creepy!! I personally have my door locked at all times. If it's nice out and the door is open then the screen doors are locked. I had too many daycare parents walking in my home and disregarding the fact that it was STILL a HOME!

The final straw for me was on a Saturday evening a friend and I were watching TV in the living room around 8:30 pm and we hear the door open. In steps a DCD saying "Yo wuz up I finally got your payment today". WTH?? I was so shocked I didn't know what to say at 1st. I took the payment and was speechless. Finally I said "u know daycare hours are Monday thru Friday only AND I close at 6:30. It's now 8:30 on a SATURDAY and u just walk in my home?" He said "oh girl my bad I do that to everyone no biggie" I reply with "Yes sir it is a biggie this is my private home and my private time! please don't ever walk in my home again, knock and I will gladly answer." I got the "aight aight my bad" UGH I greatly disliked that man with his gold teeth and his giant gold dollar sign bling hanging from his neck the size of his head! They moved away soon after thank goodness!
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Old 05-11-2011, 08:12 PM
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Apparently some parents dont realize you arent walmart. I dont even walk into my own families homes without knocking first.

I like the bell idea and will soon be hanging some from my door knob. I dont have any issues but if we are in the kitchen sometimes I cant hear the door open. Its nice not to be surprised, especially if Im stuffing a huge piece of watermelon in my mouth, or picking a wedgie. LOL
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  #17  
Old 05-12-2011, 08:14 AM
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My husband just called him and let him know he must knock before he comes in. So thankful for hubby being my backbone! If he does it again I'm gonna have to say adios. I should feel safe in my own home and starting around noon I don't as he comes anytime from noon - 5:30 (as he only works a couple days a week and is at home most the time).
Sorry, didn't mean to post this unregistered
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  #18  
Old 05-12-2011, 08:18 AM
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i agree with all the suggestions on here.

however, i have a different policy.
my doors are locked during the day when i have dck's but normally my doors are open.

honestly, everyone we know, family, friends etc, they give a quick tap tap on the door and in they come. we've always had this and i've told dcp's the as long as they aren't picking up at an abnormal time, the door will be open and they can come in.

one time though, i think the hottie dcd my have walked in while i was scratching my butt hahahah!!!! jk. i was scratching my lower back by right on the pant line. i was standing in my bathtub looking out the window and brushing my teeth. he was about 10 mins earlier than usual, and when i turned around he was standing in the living room (direct view to bathroom window from front door).

actually, when people knock and the door doesn't open right away, we often don't answer, we'll sneakily check who is there, but usually don't bother because the ones who knock are the ones you don't want to open your door too.

i live in a small town recently turned into a city, and i'm not saying bad things can't or don't happen, but it's very unlikely.

if i had a creepy dad though, i would definitely DEFINITELY keep my doors locked. I would then be creeped that he would be watching through a window though. if he is bold enough to sneak around your house while you are home, i don't think i'd put it past him to lurk in windows.
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Old 05-12-2011, 08:19 AM
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Originally Posted by E Daycare View Post
Apparently some parents dont realize you arent walmart. I dont even walk into my own families homes without knocking first.

I like the bell idea and will soon be hanging some from my door knob. I dont have any issues but if we are in the kitchen sometimes I cant hear the door open. Its nice not to be surprised, especially if Im stuffing a huge piece of watermelon in my mouth, or picking a wedgie. LOL
LOL!!! Too funny!!! But so true!!!
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Old 05-12-2011, 08:29 AM
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I'm glad your hubs stepped in and handled it. I was curious what he thought of this guy? Did he make the call because you asked him to, or is he as suspicious as you are?

I hope this guy knocks from now on. Thanks, hubs!
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Old 05-12-2011, 08:35 AM
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I'm glad your hubs stepped in and handled it. I was curious what he thought of this guy? Did he make the call because you asked him to, or is he as suspicious as you are?

I hope this guy knocks from now on. Thanks, hubs!
He can't stand the guy from the beginning. He has been wanting to say something but was waiting for me to give him the okay I've had enough. Yeah, BIG thanks Hubs!!!! I should have let him say something sooner.
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Old 05-12-2011, 08:51 AM
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He can't stand the guy from the beginning. He has been wanting to say something but was waiting for me to give him the okay I've had enough. Yeah, BIG thanks Hubs!!!! I should have let him say something sooner.
This guy riles feathers of all the men, huh? Michael even admitted it. I would be keeping a very close eye on him and be very careful to not give any flirty or suggestive signals In fact I would be wearing a mumu and have my hair in curlers at pickup time. Might even consider getting some broccoli stuck in my teeth...
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Old 05-12-2011, 08:59 AM
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Question here-are you allowed to lock your front doors if it is designated as a emergency exit? We have to have posted evacuation plans with our paths drawn out. My front door and back door are both marked as an emergency exit so I don't think legally I would be able to lock those. Also if there was an emergency with me and the front door was locked my kids wouldn't understand or be able to unlock the door for help.
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Old 05-12-2011, 09:06 AM
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This guy riles feathers of all the men, huh? Michael even admitted it. I would be keeping a very close eye on him and be very careful to not give any flirty or suggestive signals In fact I would be wearing a mumu and have my hair in curlers at pickup time. Might even consider getting some broccoli stuck in my teeth...
Hahahaha!!!! I might just have to do that! But, yeah I have always gotten a vibe that I really need to watch myself around him. Hubby said he knows his type and to let him know if the guy ever says or does anything inappropriate.
The dcm just came in and apologized and was obviously very embarrassed. Allthough I don't think she realized he was sneaking in until I mentioned it. She was apologizing for him just walking in. Eeeek!
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Old 05-12-2011, 01:36 PM
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It sounds like your hubby took care of the problem. I used to have a dcm who would sneek in and watch whatever was going on. I didnt like it at all. It was creepy- turning around and having someone standing across the room for who knows how long. Initially I bought a driveway alert and it would alert me whenever someone would pull in the driveway. It worked great, but then I decided to just lock my door. I have always been a person to keep my door locked. I sent out a letter to parents explaining they were free to stop by whenever to see their children, but the door would be locked at all times other than drop-off and pick-up.
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  #26  
Old 05-12-2011, 01:39 PM
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Question here-are you allowed to lock your front doors if it is designated as a emergency exit? We have to have posted evacuation plans with our paths drawn out. My front door and back door are both marked as an emergency exit so I don't think legally I would be able to lock those. Also if there was an emergency with me and the front door was locked my kids wouldn't understand or be able to unlock the door for help.
Ugh the emergency exit thing... I've heard there are some regs that require this.

I look at it like this. None of my daycare parents leave their doors unlocked at night and they are sleeping while their kid is in the house.

It's not perfect but the unlocked door is a real obvious safety issue.
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Old 05-12-2011, 01:49 PM
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In my state, rules are that doors can be locked IF and only if they can be UNlocked and opened in one motion...In other words, a push lock can be used because all you have to do is turn the doorknob and it will unlock and open in one motion. BUT a turn lock (don't know what else to call it...) can't be used because you would first have to turn the lock to unlock, and then turn the knob to open the door...kwim?

My accountant has a bell hanging above his door, so when you open the door, it bumps the bell and alerts him that someone has walked in. My sister is a first grade teacher and found a bracelet with bells on it. She put it around the doorknob at school, so when anyone turns her doorknob she hears it.

I don't blame you for asking your hubby to say something to this guy. We had a creepy dad at one point. He would literally stick around until he saw me. I finally had to start going to another room to hide and the other teachers would shoo him out the door. Can't imagine what you feel like being alone like that! Hope your hubby's talk with him helps!
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Old 05-12-2011, 02:04 PM
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I dont know if this would work or not but there's a door handle made by Shlage (spelling?) that I've been thinking about getting that allows you to keep the door unlocked from the inside but locked on the outside KWIM? It also has a keypad entry where you can give each individual parent their own access code and then "lock them out" during non daycare hours. It gives off a sort of "beep beep beep" sound when it's being unlocked but I'm not sure how loud it really is or whether or not you'd be able to hear it unless you were in the same room as the front door but just the idea of being able to keep my door locked to everyone else except my DC parents almost makes it worth the $300 smackers it would set me back. Just to add to it, you can choose to pay a $10 or so a month fee and set it up so it gives you reports of what access codes are punched in at what time which would eliminate my need for a sign in sheet. Im one of those that always carries my phone on my person at all times and so another feature it has is sending alerts to your smart phone when someone punches in their code so if I were in the backyard and someone came in and used their code it would alert me as to who it was.

Funny thing is that my hunny's family is always coming and going here also but use our key pad code on our garage to get in and I never really know who is coming or going so this is another reason why I want the front door keypad lol. I want to change the code to the garage and have them use the front door from now on and be able to see who is coming in even when we are not home

Not sure if this will help any of those out there that can't lock their doors or not but hopefully someone can find it useful.
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Old 05-12-2011, 03:59 PM
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My regs say two exits must remain unlocked. I hate that rule.

I feel for you. He sounds creeepy.
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Old 05-12-2011, 04:06 PM
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Originally Posted by snowborden1 View Post
So I have had this one baby in my care for a year now and I just love him, his mother, and older brother. But his dad gives me the creeps. First off I have no problem with parents coming in on their own to pick up there children... it actually is nicer. But this one dad sneaks in as quiet as he can. There has been several occasions when I have come out of the kitchen to seeing him standing in the living room staring. Once he was standing in the entry way to the kitchen watching me and I had no idea. The amazing thing is is how QUIET he is. My dog barks at EVERY little sound... I mean EVERYTHING. But he can sneak in so quiet the dog has no idea!!! I need advice ladies. I am so not comfortable with this. Thanks so much!!!
Am I having deja vu? Wasn't this exact story posted before? LOL. Maybe it's just me.

I would keep the door locked. That's just too creepy.
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Old 05-12-2011, 04:07 PM
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Ugh the emergency exit thing... I've heard there are some regs that require this.

I look at it like this. None of my daycare parents leave their doors unlocked at night and they are sleeping while their kid is in the house.

It's not perfect but the unlocked door is a real obvious safety issue.
Quote:
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Question here-are you allowed to lock your front doors if it is designated as a emergency exit? We have to have posted evacuation plans with our paths drawn out. My front door and back door are both marked as an emergency exit so I don't think legally I would be able to lock those. Also if there was an emergency with me and the front door was locked my kids wouldn't understand or be able to unlock the door for help.
I have never heard of that rule but I will assume I am allowed to keep my door locked because when the monitors leave they always try to open the door and it doesn't open because I instinctivley lock it as soon as I shut it. They have pulled and I say sorry habit and unlock the top lock. They never say anything, In fact the Food Program lady has said once that's a good instinct to have.

I could never leave mine unlocked because I have a toddler that tries to run thinking its funny. He can't unlock it. I have gone to the bathroom and come back to see him trying really hard. Thank God he can't get out because he would have been down the street or worse!
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Old 05-12-2011, 04:42 PM
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I have never heard of that rule but I will assume I am allowed to keep my door locked because when the monitors leave they always try to open the door and it doesn't open because I instinctivley lock it as soon as I shut it. They have pulled and I say sorry habit and unlock the top lock. They never say anything, In fact the Food Program lady has said once that's a good instinct to have.

I could never leave mine unlocked because I have a toddler that tries to run thinking its funny. He can't unlock it. I have gone to the bathroom and come back to see him trying really hard. Thank God he can't get out because he would have been down the street or worse!
that's how i feel. some home invasions will happen during the day when someone knows that it's only a female home and no males. i understand the reasoning behind unlocked doors, but at the same time, i just think for the safety of the children the doors must be locked. my kids can reach the deadbolts and unlock them. sometimes they even go outside. so we put latch hooks on the screen doors up top, where they can't reach, and when my youngest was 1 1/2- 2 yrs old he knew to get a broom and use the handle to unlock it. or he figured out on his closet door that if he shakes it hard enough it pops out. usually he does this somehow quietly enough that we don't notice the closet is open until ALL the toys are out of the closet.

i couldn't imagine having a dck open the door and take off.
i also like to keep my big doors closed and locked so i don't get those annoying visitors who preach . one time my kids were right by the front door when they started knocking and ringing door bell. they literally did this for 10 minutes. i whispered to the kids to freeze! i said there is a monster at the door, do not move! good practice for being quiet and still, cause no one moved for the whole 10 minutes. HAHAHAHAHA...
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Old 05-12-2011, 05:19 PM
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i also like to keep my big doors closed and locked so i don't get those annoying visitors who preach . one time my kids were right by the front door when they started knocking and ringing door bell. they literally did this for 10 minutes. i whispered to the kids to freeze! i said there is a monster at the door, do not move! good practice for being quiet and still, cause no one moved for the whole 10 minutes. HAHAHAHAHA...
That's awesomely awful!
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Old 05-12-2011, 06:19 PM
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I conduct fire drills here monthly. Just a good habit to form as well as I have to do one every 3 months and record it for LIC.

I found out after my first firedrill years ago that NONE of the kids including the 5 year old taht I had could unlock my front door at the time. They could undo the bottom, not the top. So I decided to go and buy an inter connecting emergency egress door. It unlocks in one motion from the inside, but you cannot open it from the outside unless you unlock it with a key.

This means that any of the DC kids could open the door from the inside at anytime no problem. So I had to go and buy a door chime so that I know when the door opens.

Also in CA if you have a large family DC you have to have one of these types of deadbolts for your door. I only have a small DC, but the thought of the kids not being able to unlock the front door bothered me.

My thought was if something happened to me I want to make sure they can open the door and get out......now they can
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  #35  
Old 05-12-2011, 06:19 PM
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Originally Posted by dEHmom View Post
that's how i feel. some home invasions will happen during the day when someone knows that it's only a female home and no males. i understand the reasoning behind unlocked doors, but at the same time, i just think for the safety of the children the doors must be locked. my kids can reach the deadbolts and unlock them. sometimes they even go outside. so we put latch hooks on the screen doors up top, where they can't reach, and when my youngest was 1 1/2- 2 yrs old he knew to get a broom and use the handle to unlock it. or he figured out on his closet door that if he shakes it hard enough it pops out. usually he does this somehow quietly enough that we don't notice the closet is open until ALL the toys are out of the closet.

i couldn't imagine having a dck open the door and take off.
i also like to keep my big doors closed and locked so i don't get those annoying visitors who preach . one time my kids were right by the front door when they started knocking and ringing door bell. they literally did this for 10 minutes. i whispered to the kids to freeze! i said there is a monster at the door, do not move! good practice for being quiet and still, cause no one moved for the whole 10 minutes. HAHAHAHAHA...
OMG that is so great! I almost want to steal that for myself but with my luck they would become afraid of monsters and I would be in trouble with DCM. I haven't had a DCK have a fear of monsters or evern really talk about them much.
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  #36  
Old 05-12-2011, 06:28 PM
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OMG that is so great! I almost want to steal that for myself but with my luck they would become afraid of monsters and I would be in trouble with DCM. I haven't had a DCK have a fear of monsters or evern really talk about them much.
or better yet, fear those people because they think their monsters.....lol thats funny...
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  #37  
Old 05-12-2011, 08:21 PM
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Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa View Post
I dont know if this would work or not but there's a door handle made by Shlage (spelling?) that I've been thinking about getting that allows you to keep the door unlocked from the inside but locked on the outside KWIM? It also has a keypad entry where you can give each individual parent their own access code and then "lock them out" during non daycare hours. It gives off a sort of "beep beep beep" sound when it's being unlocked but I'm not sure how loud it really is or whether or not you'd be able to hear it unless you were in the same room as the front door but just the idea of being able to keep my door locked to everyone else except my DC parents almost makes it worth the $300 smackers it would set me back. Just to add to it, you can choose to pay a $10 or so a month fee and set it up so it gives you reports of what access codes are punched in at what time which would eliminate my need for a sign in sheet. Im one of those that always carries my phone on my person at all times and so another feature it has is sending alerts to your smart phone when someone punches in their code so if I were in the backyard and someone came in and used their code it would alert me as to who it was.

Funny thing is that my hunny's family is always coming and going here also but use our key pad code on our garage to get in and I never really know who is coming or going so this is another reason why I want the front door keypad lol. I want to change the code to the garage and have them use the front door from now on and be able to see who is coming in even when we are not home

Not sure if this will help any of those out there that can't lock their doors or not but hopefully someone can find it useful.


We have these locks you are talking about. They are nice locks and work well. Prior to these, we had the Schlage finger recognition ones which you could use the same way (scan in parents fingerprints) but I cant remember how many total you could scan in..... I think it was around 5-8 different fingers. My dh has a carpet cleaning business and his fingertips are in pretty rough shape from all of the chemicals and heat he uses in his business, so he decided to get rid of those and got the keypads instead. I never thought about giving my parents a code to get in, but I know dh wouldnt go for that anyway, lol.
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  #38  
Old 05-13-2011, 06:00 AM
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OMG that is so great! I almost want to steal that for myself but with my luck they would become afraid of monsters and I would be in trouble with DCM. I haven't had a DCK have a fear of monsters or evern really talk about them much.
it was my own kids at the time. i had a dcb sleeping. they are over the monster phase anyway. so i thought it was good practice.
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  #39  
Old 05-14-2011, 10:15 AM
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Here's one reason to keep your doors locked, if it's legal.

http://www.ocregister.com/news/-300527--.html
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Old 05-14-2011, 10:23 AM
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Here's one reason to keep your doors locked, if it's legal.

http://www.ocregister.com/news/-300527--.html
There's a good one.



I think if something like that passed here we would put up a heck of a fight. It would be enough to get most providers up in arms.
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