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  #1  
Old 06-28-2010, 03:30 AM
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Default So Mad Ugh

So the family that the mom said the parents were getting divorced so they needed to change daycares. She made me believe it was because mom was from pa and dad was from an hour away so they were splitting up the children. Well, I found out from the girl today that her brothers are at another daycare in the same town. She informed me that there is going to be a space for her soon so she will be going there too.

I am so mad, I want to get my pay and call it quits with her. I know thats unprofessional but it just really hurts. Why would she lie to me, why not just tell the truth. I don't see why divorce makes you change to a daycare in the same town?? The girl mentioned that her dad sleeps on the couch so I believed it. She is obviously not happy with me or the daycare but makes it a point to say it has nothing to do with that. I have cared for and loved her children like they were my own and I feel I deserve the truth. Her one child is the one that breaks everything and she makes excuses for his behavior. I have put up with A LOT and paid A LOT in broken items. I know I'm mad now but I just want to screw her and leave her in a lurch for the next week.
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Old 06-28-2010, 04:08 AM
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Did you give her the money back for the prepaid on the older kids?
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Old 06-28-2010, 04:36 AM
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No I didn't. She pays every other week. Her last pay would be for the 16th. I told her I would credit that payment since the child's last day is the 9th. I think she misunderstood and thinks I may be giving a refund. I didn't want to correct her though and have her not pay me this Friday!
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Old 06-28-2010, 05:34 AM
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No I didn't. She pays every other week. Her last pay would be for the 16th. I told her I would credit that payment since the child's last day is the 9th. I think she misunderstood and thinks I may be giving a refund. I didn't want to correct her though and have her not pay me this Friday!
Is she paying you ahead or behind? Is the payment this Friday for future care or care you have already done?
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Old 06-28-2010, 05:41 AM
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Payment for Friday will be for care I have already done. She will be paying for care on dates 6/25-7/2.

Then the one child's last day is the 9th but payment isn't due until the 16th. I am worried if she would lie about something so aweful as divorce will she stiff me for care I provided from 7/5 - 7/9? She only gave me 2 days notice for the boys and a little over 2 weeks for the girl.
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Old 06-28-2010, 05:47 AM
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I'm so sorry. That is a ridiculous thing to do.

I would collect your check on Friday and then tell her she needs to pay upfront for the rest of her time there.
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Old 06-28-2010, 05:53 AM
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I'm so sorry. That is a ridiculous thing to do.

I would collect your check on Friday and then tell her she needs to pay upfront for the rest of her time there.

ITA!!! Tell her you need payment in advance for the remainder of her time with you.
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Old 06-28-2010, 06:05 AM
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Payment for Friday will be for care I have already done. She will be paying for care on dates 6/25-7/2.

Then the one child's last day is the 9th but payment isn't due until the 16th. I am worried if she would lie about something so aweful as divorce will she stiff me for care I provided from 7/5 - 7/9? She only gave me 2 days notice for the boys and a little over 2 weeks for the girl.

Do you require a two week notice? And she only gave you 2 days for her sons? Don't let her get out of paying what she owes you. Be firm!
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Old 06-28-2010, 07:01 AM
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The girl mentioned that her dad sleeps on the couch so I believed it.
I know that hearing that the dad sleeps on the couch made it seem like DCM was telling the truth, but now that you know that they are just switching to another DC, I doubt that he's sleeping on the couch because of marital problems. I often sleep on the couch now that I'm pregnant. We don't have a bathroom upstairs, so it's easier for me to get up in the middle of the night. Plus, when I have had back problems, I find the couch more comfortable. And my husband sleeps on the couch when he's sick and coughing a lot, so he doesn't keep me awake. There are many reasons a married person may sleep on the couch, other than marital problems. I am so sorry that she lied to you. I am the same way. I can handle ANYTHING anyone has to say to me, just tell me the truth. I can't handle lies. It's one of my biggest pet peeves. But I have never been able to tell a lie without feeling extreme guilt. But some people seem to be able to lie as easily as breathing. Again, I am very sorry and I'm sending you a hug.
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Old 06-28-2010, 07:39 AM
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I almost said something this am. She was complaining about the complications of getting divorced and figuring it all out. I felt like asking her why continue with the chirades???

Also, yes she gave 2 days notice for the boys but she is paying the 2 weeks anyways.
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  #11  
Old 06-28-2010, 08:00 AM
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The more I think about it, the more I think that you should confront her with the information.

If the little girls is right, then Mom deserves to know that she's busted and feel like a lying wretch.

If the little girls is somehow wrong, you will feel much better...

In either case, money up front!
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  #12  
Old 06-28-2010, 08:13 AM
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If it was me.... this Friday after she hands you your payment.. I would kindly say that since she lied to you today is her last day with you... as I feel that you will never see that next weeks pay either if you choose to care for her. ((HUGS))
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  #13  
Old 06-28-2010, 08:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jen View Post
The more I think about it, the more I think that you should confront her with the information.

If the little girls is right, then Mom deserves to know that she's busted and feel like a lying wretch.

If the little girls is somehow wrong, you will feel much better...

In either case, money up front!
I think you should do this also. You could even be completely casual and non-confrontational about it.
"Hey, little girl said brothers are at xyz daycare now, how are they getting along there?"
Then you could just do the smile, eyebrows up, blinky thing waiting for the answer.
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  #14  
Old 06-28-2010, 08:34 AM
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I'll ask when she picks dcg up this afternoon. I'll let you know how it goes!
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Old 06-28-2010, 09:30 AM
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she's telling you it has nothing to do with you because you're still taking care of her daughter and she doesn't want to tick you off. if she's taken her boys somewhere else, it obviously does have something to do with you (or your prices). she could've found cheaper care.

either way, i'd get the money up front because if she's not happy with something (ESPECIALLY if it's your rates) then she will feel like YOU owe HER something because she's paying too much - and she'll get her "money's worth" by not paying you in the end. she'll have no use for you and no reason to pay for care she's already received.
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  #16  
Old 06-28-2010, 11:22 AM
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I'm so sorry. That is a ridiculous thing to do.

I would collect your check on Friday and then tell her she needs to pay upfront for the rest of her time there.
YEP! This.
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  #17  
Old 06-28-2010, 11:36 AM
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May I ask, why do you collect at the end of the week??? Is this an unusual case for this family? Or is this just your regular policy? In the future, it may be wise to collect in advance of care. Either the Friday before or the Monday of the week of care. Just my two cents. I am so sorry if this is indeed true. Why is it so difficult for people to be honest!
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  #18  
Old 06-28-2010, 03:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vesta View Post
I think you should do this also. You could even be completely casual and non-confrontational about it.
"Hey, little girl said brothers are at xyz daycare now, how are they getting along there?"
Then you could just do the smile, eyebrows up, blinky thing waiting for the answer.
Yes, this is what I would do also. Akward silences seem to work well. The jig is up lady. I agree that if you do continue to care for her daughter you should ask for payment in advance from now on. You don't want to get jipped ... how does she expect you to trust her if she has in fact already lied to you?
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Old 06-28-2010, 04:47 PM
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Yes, this is what I would do also. Akward silences seem to work well. The jig is up lady. I agree that if you do continue to care for her daughter you should ask for payment in advance from now on. You don't want to get jipped ... how does she expect you to trust her if she has in fact already lied to you?
And when she says, "Why do I have to pay in advance all of a sudden. I've always paid you." Simply state, "Yes. And I appreciate that. However, since you have lied to me and I can't trust you to be honest with me, I certainly can't TRUST that you will pay me. You broke the trust. So I need payment up front. This is what happens when you practice to deceive." But make sure to follow up with the raised eyebrows, smile, and awkward silence.
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  #20  
Old 06-28-2010, 08:38 PM
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I'll ask when she picks dcg up this afternoon. I'll let you know how it goes!
Update????????????
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  #21  
Old 06-29-2010, 03:32 AM
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LMBO, she left before I could ask! I told her about dcg's day and then I said "So, I hear the boys" and boom just like like she says "We're late, bye see ya tomorrow" and dashed out the door! I was just like Really??

This morning she came in with swollen red eyes so I didn't want to upset her if she had been crying. Her husband actually followed her here, pulled in after her. She looked like she was going to cry, sighed and said bye. They looked like they were fighting and then both left after 5 minutes. I'm giving it another shot today at pick up! Wish me luck...
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Old 06-29-2010, 05:32 AM
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I wouldn't let the tears sway you this afternoon! Don't let her guilt you into agreeing to anything you aren't comfortable with.
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Old 06-29-2010, 05:47 AM
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Ya, the way I figure I don't want to bring tears when she has to go into work but after work she just goes home so cry away....

Not to sound rude or incensitive but I think you all understand what I mean.
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Old 06-29-2010, 07:19 AM
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Isn't it interesting that we are always trying to be sensitive to our clients and all the problems they have, yet when it comes to not paying us and putting our family through hardships, there is no sympathy. I'm amazed at the lack of compassion sometimes. It's sad that it's so one-sided.
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Old 06-29-2010, 08:16 AM
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I'm not one to have confrontation if there is no reason for the end game. If it were me, I would ask for payment upfront. However, I would not confront her on the information you received from her child. It puts everyone, including the child, in an uncomfortable situation. If she lied, then she knows it and has to live with that.
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Old 06-29-2010, 09:44 AM
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Anxious to hear how it goes at pick-up. I wonder if she'll be surprised that you know her boys are at another local center!
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Old 06-29-2010, 04:18 PM
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So did you get a word in edgewise with the mom at pick-up today?
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  #28  
Old 06-29-2010, 04:29 PM
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Isn't it interesting that we are always trying to be sensitive to our clients and all the problems they have, yet when it comes to not paying us and putting our family through hardships, there is no sympathy. I'm amazed at the lack of compassion sometimes. It's sad that it's so one-sided.
I was thinking that same thing the other day. Mostly, my parents aren't like that, but there those...

and doesn't it ALWAYS seem that the people who expect the most "help" are the least likely to help anyone else.
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Old 06-29-2010, 06:23 PM
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I want an update!!!!!
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  #30  
Old 06-29-2010, 09:56 PM
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Me too!!! This is just like watching a very interesting show and then the really good part somes up and your like "omigosh" and then ... they break for a commercial lol
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  #31  
Old 06-30-2010, 06:19 AM
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Update when you have time! Hope it went well!
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  #32  
Old 06-30-2010, 07:58 AM
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Sorry everyone! I left you in suspense. Yesterday Mom didn't pick up and I didn't want to pester someone who was put in the middle.

So this am dad dropped her off and I had the boys blankets ready. I handed them and I said "Here, I got these ready for the boys because I thought they might need them for ***X house" with a really sweet smile! He started to say ok but then stopped and just looked at me. Then said ok with a strange look on his face. I said I was sorry to hear about the marriage ending but I didn't understand the daycare issue with it if they were local and he just did a sorry smile with a shake of his head. I didn't really know if it was my place to push the issue and he started talking about the new van I just bought.
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Old 06-30-2010, 09:11 AM
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Well I thought you handles yourself very well. You pretty much just let him know that you knew and left it at that. I'm sure the mom will hear about it soon so if let us know what her reaction/attitude towards you is when you see her.
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