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Old 08-19-2011, 10:26 AM
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Zoe Zoe is offline
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Default So My DCG Says to Me......

in a tone as if she were going to tell me what she had for breakfast.....

"My dad doesn't like my mom anymore! He says he hates her." What?!?

A few months ago the girls I take care of mentioned that Daddy was going to live somewhere else, but I brushed it off because they haven't seemed out of sorts about anything. That and I got an interesting mistaken text from dcm that was meant for dcd.

So now....um.....should I brush this off too? It's really none of my business but I'm more thinking that dcm wouldn't want her daughter to talk about these things to other people. Should I say something just to inform her that her girls are talking about this? Or just leave it alone?
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Old 08-19-2011, 10:34 AM
wdmmom wdmmom is offline
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I tell DCP's at an interview that if circumstances change or living arrangements change or if DCM and DCD split, that I always ask to know.

Usually there is some type of retaliation behavior associated when it comes to the child. If I know ahead of time what is going on, I expect a change in the child's behavior.

Not knowing makes our job that much harder.
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Old 08-19-2011, 10:36 AM
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I would definitely mention it to her... Maybe not the "hate" part though. I think she should know that what daddy is saying hurts her and that she shared that with you.
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Old 08-19-2011, 10:38 AM
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Maybe just say something simple like 'I'm sure your Daddy doesn't hate your Mommy' and move on...that's definately a tough one, but I wouldn't want my kids telling people things like that!

Yes, I would mention it to Mom, perhaps not specifics, but just say that there was some talk about it....
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Old 08-19-2011, 11:24 AM
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I'm very open w my parents and I would confront dad. I'd say hey frank, we need to chat,.... I know things have changed at home, & I want to giveyou some info. I know there is stress and I'm not trying to be all in your business but Sally told me you hated mommy I understand you are frustrated and probably not meaning go but Sally is hearing. That concerns me, I love that kid and it hurts to see her hurt. Could you try to use different words or even bettr not bash mom when she's around. Believe me I have an ex. I don't care for him, but I've always told my kids,... How could I hate anyone who gave me something as wondrful as you. We aren't buds anymore but we have you and I would trade that for anything.
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Old 08-19-2011, 11:45 AM
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When she told me, I was a bit floored so I just said "ok" and redirected her. She's 3 and her 5 yo sister quietly told her "don't say stuff like that". Again, their behavior hasn't been affected at all, so it's so strange.

Both parents are very nice but not the talking sort so I don't really know a lot about them outside of the daycare. I think I'll text dad and let him know that his daughter is saying these things, but that I'm not getting in the middle of anything. Maybe he'll be horrified into watching what he says around his kids.
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