I have ALWAYS allowed the kids to bring one small blanket or stuffed animal for nap. It stays in their cubby until nap, and are promptly returned to their cubby after nap.

Just recently, a dcg I have had for 6+ months comes in and REFUSES to put the blanket in her cubby for Mom/Dad. I have asked that they put it in a bag and not have her holding it, and they just 'forget'. Mom/Dad have been good about taking it from her and putting it away....until this week.

Dcd handed it to dcg yesterday morning and I had to say "Dcg you can come eat breakfast when your nap blankey goes in your cubby." and dcd rolled his eyes.

He left, and dcg stood there for a good 10 minutes until I reminded her she was going to miss breakfast, and to put it away. She DID put it away, but there were tears/drama with other parents coming in/out at the same time.

Today, dcm dropped off and when I reminded her to put the blanket away, she said "what's the big deal?" I said because it's my policy, and that dcg participates less when she has it, and she refuses to play with other children just in case they might touch it, and licensing wants me to keep all blankets separated." She rolled her eyes at me, too and just left. I ended up taking it away from dcg after 20 minutes of screaming and put it away.

What would you say at pick up? It definitely needs to be addressed. I KNOW dcg carries it everywhere with her at home, EVERY.WHERE. It's FILTHY, dcm has laughingly said 'we sneak it away from her at night to wash it, but it always needs a wash'. When she has it, she sucks the ends of it, and they are always wet (sanitary issue).

Reply

I would tell them, due to sanitary reasons, they need to send a separate blanket that is just for daycare. Period. Tell them it will be easier for transitions for the child, will keep them healthier by not taking germs they might encounter at daycare home, ect. By don't allow that in your daycare.

Reply

I cannot believe they rolled their eyes at you and I also can't believe they said "what's the big deal"! What nerve they have!

I would tell them that since they're not following your policy that dcg is no longer allowed to bring a blanket from home, that you will provide one. You spoke to both mom and dad and obviously by the eye rolling and rude comment, they don't care.

I still can't believe parents would speak to the person that's taking care of their child every day like that! I have one crazy parent, but never have any of them spoke to me like that or rolled their eyes at me (that I could see anyways). I just don't get it.

Reply

That's your answer right there. "For sanitary reasons I have to insist that all blankies and nap items stay in the cubby for use at naptime only, as my policy says. I know you disagree but that is my policy. It is for the health and well being of everyone in the daycare"

Reply

I do not allow anything to be brought back and forth from home,except children.lol
All nap time loveys stay here for the exact reason you just said.Most times they are filthy and I don't want that in my home. Yuck! Tell mom since she's having a hard time following your policy you've decided to change it,just for her. Then tell her she can either leave it there or not to bring one at all. After that don't discuss it again with her.If the parent throws a fit simply hand her that nasty blanket along with her child and tell her she may need to find somewhere else where they will allow her to hold and suck her blanket all day.Maybe at home,with a nanny

Reply

Great advice ladies! This is the first issue every with this particular family, and imho, is so stupid to argue over a policy you signed agreeing to!

I think I will offer her two options (darn I do treat them just like the kids!) either bring a blanket that can be left here, or don't bring one at all. (couldn't help the eye roll)

For the record, I DO supply a blanket, these are special lovies/attachment blankets/stuffed animals. I had one kid with one, and now I have 7 out of 8 total kids under 5 with them. 3 bought a duplicate for here, which honestly works out best. I wash them with their blankets.

Reply

"DCM, DCD...I understand that your DD is attached to her blanket. However, my policy about not having nap items until nap time has not changed and was discussed with you upon enrollment. This is a policy YOU agreed to when you signed my contract.

Rather than allowing the blanket to become a source of distress for DD and since I prefer to not have parents rolling their eyes at me passive-aggressively on their way out the door, I have decided to no longer allow nap items from home.

Please discuss this with your DD. I am sorry it has to be this way, but when parents don't follow my rules and support those policies, the child usually ends up with the short end of the stick.

Thank you for your consideration and respect concerning this issue. "

Reply

I could have written this post myself a few years back! I had a child that was 3 years old, and walking around with a pacifier and little lovey from home all the time. I used to take it immediately upon entering the house, (screaming and crying daily) but dcm and dcd would give it to the child as soon as they arrived to pick up. One day, dcm said the same exact thing, "what's the big deal?"....What's the big deal...it's disgusting! I think parents feel that because we are a "home" environment, that anything goes. I actually told dcm that it was for sanitary reasons, and she insisted it was clean! Yeah, really clean when your child sneezes and coughs on it, and then throws it on the floor!
I wound up terming, for other reasons, but found out the dc center where the child went to next wouldn't allow it through the door (surprise, surprise).

Reply

Bc- I'll have to toss 'thank you for your respect' in there tonight! Obviously, they haven't been respectful but maybe if I state that I expect them to be, they will.

I had a kid with a pacifier who would rub it on the floor, put it in his mouth, try to put it in other kids mouths, pull it out slowly to watch the drool line drip, etc. That lasted about an hour before I took it away. He was almost 3 at the time.

Reply

I also don't think parents SEE it the same way WE do. It's every day and normal to them, where all I see is GERMS YUCK SNOT DROOL OMGYOUDIDNOTJUSTLICK THAT!?

I have another kid who I change into a short sleeve shirt every day at drop off. She ratted me out to her Mom and I came clean "She chews her shirt sleeves!" and dcm said "Oh ya, he does that at home, too."

She's 3.5. Do I want a dripping wet saliva filled shirt sleeves all over my playroom? no.

Reply

They don't. That is why they are fighting you about this.

You have to figure out a way to tell them what being part of group care means.

If they want their DD to have special, hire a nanny.

Or even better.......you can tell them the DD can have the blanket ALL day long if she wants but you are going to have hire an assistant to monitor the blanket and child so that it doesn't get left anywhere, touch anyone else, can clean up after blanket so that the area is sanitized and supervise DCG because she won't be allowed to play with the others if she has her blankie in her hand ...... and the parents will be charged the fee.

Bet they change their tune really quick about it.

Reply

The eye rolls would have done it for me. I would have packed up their crap right then and there.

Reply

Exactly my thoughts.

Reply

I spoke to them this morning (alternate pick up person yesterday). I explained the concerns about germs, reminding them that it goes both ways and they wouldn't want me to allow another child to carry around a spit soaked blankie. Mom said she understood. They are having issues getting it away from her to come in the door, so she is buying one for here to eliminate the problem. She even apologized, which was nice!!!

Reply

That's so nice that an honest, respectful conversation resolved the issue! That is always first choice for me, but sometimes I'm not brave enough to start one when it may turn into a confrontation instead.

I was going to suggest passive-aggressive. That blanky would have had some sort of unfortunate, fairly major, accident here. Then there's no way they would want to chance bringing it here again.

Reply

Yay!! glad she was understanding and apologetic, sometimes that's all it takes (well, that and follow through!) good luck with the transition

Reply