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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Hate Having A Back Bone..
DancingQueen 06:22 PM 12-08-2010
I just told a dcm that I have to charge them a $5.00 late fee.
Dad picked up 12 minutes late. This is his 2nd late in the last few weeks. The first was not hsi fault and it was his freebie.
Problem for me is that dad doesnt' pay a penny to me. But he picks up every single day. They are not together and do not get along at all. MOM pays everything. So he has ZERO incentive to arrive on time. So I feel horrible charging her the $5.00 because it really isn't her fault
He's such an *(&(*
When they originally enrolled he said he got out of work at 4:30. He works 20 minutes away (if that). So I gave them until 5. But he can usually be there at 4:50
But he likes to push the limits.
Tonight I asked why he was late and he said "stepped out of work a little later than usual"
Not good enough reason.
Dad picked up 12 minutes late. This is his 2nd late in the last few weeks. The first was not hsi fault and it was his freebie.
Problem for me is that dad doesnt' pay a penny to me. But he picks up every single day. They are not together and do not get along at all. MOM pays everything. So he has ZERO incentive to arrive on time. So I feel horrible charging her the $5.00 because it really isn't her fault
He's such an *(&(*
When they originally enrolled he said he got out of work at 4:30. He works 20 minutes away (if that). So I gave them until 5. But he can usually be there at 4:50
But he likes to push the limits.
Tonight I asked why he was late and he said "stepped out of work a little later than usual"
Not good enough reason.
DancingQueen 06:23 PM 12-08-2010
oh - and the part I think I did wrong was I didn't say anything to him at pick up about a late fee <eek> I don't know .. maybe I should have but since I deal with mom with all things.. I just handed her over (and rushed out the door for my meeting I was running late for).. and told mom later on about it.
kendallina 06:31 PM 12-08-2010
Ugh, that really sucks. Yeh, I would definitely tell dad if he does it again. Even if he doesn't have to pay it, he should be made to feel guilty about it. And you did the right thing about charging a late fee,don't feel guilty about it. Mom needs to get on his butt about being on time.
legomom922 08:22 PM 12-08-2010
Do you know if they have some support order in place by a court? Because usually, the court will order that the non-custodial parent pays a certain % of health and daycare expenses. So while he may not be the one writing you the checks, he *may* be writing her some type of a reimbursement ck? Unless you have knowledge that he doesnt pay anything to her at all. That would be really odd though if he didn't, and out of all my friends, neighbors etc, I have never heard of anyone escaping that charge!
DancingQueen 02:37 AM 12-09-2010
he pays for 1/2 of daycare. But he pays her. So maybe she'll be able to get it that way? I hope so.
Former Teacher 02:43 AM 12-09-2010
Originally Posted by DancingQueen:
I just told a dcm that I have to charge them a $5.00 late fee.
Dad picked up 12 minutes late. This is his 2nd late in the last few weeks. The first was not hsi fault and it was his freebie.
Problem for me is that dad doesnt' pay a penny to me. But he picks up every single day. They are not together and do not get along at all. MOM pays everything. So he has ZERO incentive to arrive on time. So I feel horrible charging her the $5.00 because it really isn't her fault
He's such an *(&(*
When they originally enrolled he said he got out of work at 4:30. He works 20 minutes away (if that). So I gave them until 5. But he can usually be there at 4:50
But he likes to push the limits.
Tonight I asked why he was late and he said "stepped out of work a little later than usual"
Not good enough reason.
At my former center-the parents paid late fees regardless of who picked the child(ren) up. Once a mom was out of town, dad had to work, and so the aunt was going to pick up the girl. She "lost track of time" so she was late. Yeah 24 mins late. It was a $24.00 late fee. Dad was very embarrassed but he paid it the following morning.I just told a dcm that I have to charge them a $5.00 late fee.
Dad picked up 12 minutes late. This is his 2nd late in the last few weeks. The first was not hsi fault and it was his freebie.
Problem for me is that dad doesnt' pay a penny to me. But he picks up every single day. They are not together and do not get along at all. MOM pays everything. So he has ZERO incentive to arrive on time. So I feel horrible charging her the $5.00 because it really isn't her fault
He's such an *(&(*
When they originally enrolled he said he got out of work at 4:30. He works 20 minutes away (if that). So I gave them until 5. But he can usually be there at 4:50
But he likes to push the limits.
Tonight I asked why he was late and he said "stepped out of work a little later than usual"
Not good enough reason.
I know how you feel about charging the mom because of how the father doesn't pay you etc.. However maybe when she is tired of paying late fees, she will find someone else who is more responsible to pick up her child.
Good Luck!
Mom&Provider 03:59 AM 12-09-2010
Don't feel bad, it's in your contract and you already gave him a free pass.
I would have mentioned it to Dad when he arrived, but if Mom has always paid, I can see why you felt odd about it - so next time you know! Mom has to deal with Dad to get the money from him directly anyway and I would be concerned that I'd have to run after Dad for it, so yeah, I would have given the bill to Mom too.
I would have mentioned it to Dad when he arrived, but if Mom has always paid, I can see why you felt odd about it - so next time you know! Mom has to deal with Dad to get the money from him directly anyway and I would be concerned that I'd have to run after Dad for it, so yeah, I would have given the bill to Mom too.
MyAngels 05:14 AM 12-09-2010
Maybe you should implement a policy that whoever picks up late pays the late fee 
.
.
DancingQueen 05:18 AM 12-09-2010
Well - she has a court order that says he has to pay 1/2 of all daycare expenses.
So I told her I will add her late fees to her online billing with a note that includes dates and times of offense so that if she needs documentation for court she'll have it.
She said it is total fair that I'm charging and she is fine with it.
So I told her I will add her late fees to her online billing with a note that includes dates and times of offense so that if she needs documentation for court she'll have it.
She said it is total fair that I'm charging and she is fine with it.
MARSTELAC 06:07 AM 12-09-2010
That is what I just changed my contract to....if "open early" fees apply in the a.m., that parent has to have cash/checkbook ready to pay the fee, if "stay late" fees apply in the p.m., the person who is picking up has to have cash/checkbook ready to pay that fee. I also have a fee for anything over 10 hours in a day (within my open business hours)that will be added to the invoice. I want these parents to think twice about dropping the kids early, picking up late, and having them here over 10 hours a day. It's so confusing with divorced/separated parents!
DancingQueen 06:39 AM 12-09-2010
this is the same dad that lied to me and brought dcg to her old provider while dcm was away. dcm said this morning "I'll just pay the late fees - I'm not even going to say anything to him because he still is trying to get me to agree to have her go to the other provider - and there wouldn't be a late fee there because they are open until 6pm" so she said - she'll pay it and please don't say anything
Crystal 07:49 AM 12-09-2010
When they originally enrolled he said he got out of work at 4:30. He works 20 minutes away (if that). So I gave them until 5. But he can usually be there at 4:50
But he likes to push the limits.
Because HE told you this, I would charge HIM, not her. His answer of "stepped out of work a little later than usual" would have gotten the response that because he stepped out a little late, he is now a little late picking up his child and there is now a late fee of $5.00, payable before his child returns to care.
Parents only take advanttage if we let them, and he is taking advantage of you. He needs to be told that HE cannot disrespect you in this way.
But he likes to push the limits.
Because HE told you this, I would charge HIM, not her. His answer of "stepped out of work a little later than usual" would have gotten the response that because he stepped out a little late, he is now a little late picking up his child and there is now a late fee of $5.00, payable before his child returns to care.
Parents only take advanttage if we let them, and he is taking advantage of you. He needs to be told that HE cannot disrespect you in this way.
Live and Learn 08:44 AM 12-09-2010
Here late fee are due at pickup....raise your late fee!!!....
good luck.
good luck.
MarinaVanessa 08:53 AM 12-09-2010
if he knows that DC mom pays a late fee when he is late he may be doing this on purpose. In any case it's disrespectul to you on his part. The problem here is not that you have a backbone but who you show it to. Please, please please tell me that you close at 5pm and that this is your last DC kid. Or at least that this is your last DC kid. If so, do what I've done... leave. And take his kid with you.
I'm being serious.
"Oh, I absolutely had to go (fit any excuse here) and just could not wait. I'm at (wherever you are). You can come pick here to pick up your child"
It works, I promise. The more they do it even after being reminded the farther away I go. Just make sure to take your cell phone with you and wait for a call. Leave a note on the door with something vague like "Had to rush out. You weren't here by 5pm. Call me. (***) ***-***x." I use this only as a last resort after having talks with the offending parent. It always makes me feel better.
I'm being serious.
"Oh, I absolutely had to go (fit any excuse here) and just could not wait. I'm at (wherever you are). You can come pick here to pick up your child"
It works, I promise. The more they do it even after being reminded the farther away I go. Just make sure to take your cell phone with you and wait for a call. Leave a note on the door with something vague like "Had to rush out. You weren't here by 5pm. Call me. (***) ***-***x." I use this only as a last resort after having talks with the offending parent. It always makes me feel better.
momofboys 09:05 AM 12-09-2010
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
if he knows that DC mom pays a late fee when he is late he may be doing this on purpose. In any case it's disrespectul to you on his part. The problem here is not that you have a backbone but who you show it to. Please, please please tell me that you close at 5pm and that this is your last DC kid. Or at least that this is your last DC kid. If so, do what I've done... leave. And take his kid with you.
I'm being serious.
"Oh, I absolutely had to go (fit any excuse here) and just could not wait. I'm at (wherever you are). You can come pick here to pick up your child"
It works, I promise. The more they do it even after being reminded the farther away I go. Just make sure to take your cell phone with you and wait for a call. Leave a note on the door with something vague like "Had to rush out. You weren't here by 5pm. Call me. (***) ***-***x." I use this only as a last resort after having talks with the offending parent. It always makes me feel better.
Love it! if he knows that DC mom pays a late fee when he is late he may be doing this on purpose. In any case it's disrespectul to you on his part. The problem here is not that you have a backbone but who you show it to. Please, please please tell me that you close at 5pm and that this is your last DC kid. Or at least that this is your last DC kid. If so, do what I've done... leave. And take his kid with you.
I'm being serious.
"Oh, I absolutely had to go (fit any excuse here) and just could not wait. I'm at (wherever you are). You can come pick here to pick up your child"
It works, I promise. The more they do it even after being reminded the farther away I go. Just make sure to take your cell phone with you and wait for a call. Leave a note on the door with something vague like "Had to rush out. You weren't here by 5pm. Call me. (***) ***-***x." I use this only as a last resort after having talks with the offending parent. It always makes me feel better.
DancingQueen 09:26 AM 12-09-2010
I've left before.
but I've always been so casual with this family
lesson learned. I feel like he has this threat of leaving and going to old daycare hanging over me - but I couldn't care less... if they want to leave then leave. It would stink because I LOVE THIS LITTLE GIRL and her older sibling (not by this father) comes as well and I would hate to lose them - but I'm not going to sacrifice myself in the process.
but I've always been so casual with this family
lesson learned. I feel like he has this threat of leaving and going to old daycare hanging over me - but I couldn't care less... if they want to leave then leave. It would stink because I LOVE THIS LITTLE GIRL and her older sibling (not by this father) comes as well and I would hate to lose them - but I'm not going to sacrifice myself in the process.
Live and Learn 09:34 AM 12-09-2010
I think that you need to find a way to make this be his problem not the mom's.
I like the idea of leaving. make sure and tell him at pickup that you have a new policy of paying late fees at pickup and that you have commitments that require him to be gone by 5:00. If you leave the house be sure and head in the opposite direction of his house.
I really believe that you should raise your late fees until it really really hurts for this guy.....payable at pickup.
Good luck....
I like the idea of leaving. make sure and tell him at pickup that you have a new policy of paying late fees at pickup and that you have commitments that require him to be gone by 5:00. If you leave the house be sure and head in the opposite direction of his house.
I really believe that you should raise your late fees until it really really hurts for this guy.....payable at pickup.
Good luck....
marniewon 10:55 AM 12-09-2010
Originally Posted by Live and Learn:
I think that you need to find a way to make this be his problem not the mom's.
I like the idea of leaving. make sure and tell him at pickup that you have a new policy of paying late fees at pickup and that you have commitments that require him to be gone by 5:00. If you leave the house be sure and head in the opposite direction of his house.
I really believe that you should raise your late fees until it really really hurts for this guy.....payable at pickup.
Good luck....
Normally I would say this should work, and this is what you should do.....except, what is the "or else"? Pay the late fee at pick up "or else"....what? Dcg can't come in the morning? Well, that's great for dad - he wants her at the other dc anyway! Given the situation that you're in with this family, i would take pp's advice and LEAVE! Take dcg and go, leave a note on the door, and go. If he has to chase you all over town, he will think twice about being late again.I think that you need to find a way to make this be his problem not the mom's.
I like the idea of leaving. make sure and tell him at pickup that you have a new policy of paying late fees at pickup and that you have commitments that require him to be gone by 5:00. If you leave the house be sure and head in the opposite direction of his house.
I really believe that you should raise your late fees until it really really hurts for this guy.....payable at pickup.
Good luck....
MarinaVanessa 11:26 AM 12-09-2010
Originally Posted by marniewon:
Normally I would say this should work, and this is what you should do.....except, what is the "or else"? Pay the late fee at pick up "or else"....what? Dcg can't come in the morning? Well, that's great for dad - he wants her at the other dc anyway! Given the situation that you're in with this family, i would take pp's advice and LEAVE! Take dcg and go, leave a note on the door, and go. If he has to chase you all over town, he will think twice about being late again.
Yes, make it inconvenient for HIM to "give him a taste of his own medicine". There's no reason why you should be treated this way. He is showing that he has no respect for your time and that stinks. If you leave a few times and make it inconvenient for him he should get the point.Normally I would say this should work, and this is what you should do.....except, what is the "or else"? Pay the late fee at pick up "or else"....what? Dcg can't come in the morning? Well, that's great for dad - he wants her at the other dc anyway! Given the situation that you're in with this family, i would take pp's advice and LEAVE! Take dcg and go, leave a note on the door, and go. If he has to chase you all over town, he will think twice about being late again.
I tried this a few times with a client that did not get the point or cared that I charged late fees. This made me very frustrated. A couple of trips to the next town over in the opposite direction to their home for some emergency items that I just could not do without (supposably) did the trick. I even had to go as far as waiting for the initial call and telling them where I was and then not answering my phone once they got there making them have to get out of their car and come hunting for me. I made sure to always be moving once inside the store or wherever. Once they found me I was nice as always and sweet as pie.
I mean, what is he going to do? Be mad at you because he was late and you had things to do? lol
.
Crystal 11:35 AM 12-09-2010
I'd be VERY careful about leaving with his child when you know he will be there soon. He COULD consider it kidnapping if you have not been given permission, in writing, to leave with the child at that time. Not likely that a parent WOULD consider it kidnapping and call authorities, BUT this guy sounds like he may be the type to do it if you reverse the tables and treat him as he treats you.
I'd give him written notice about your late fees, stating that effective immediately all late fees will be enforced and are due and payable at time of late pick up. If he continues to push it wit you, I'd inform Mom to either put a stop to it or she will be the only person on scheduled pick ups and if it continues then termination notice will be given.
I'd give him written notice about your late fees, stating that effective immediately all late fees will be enforced and are due and payable at time of late pick up. If he continues to push it wit you, I'd inform Mom to either put a stop to it or she will be the only person on scheduled pick ups and if it continues then termination notice will be given.