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Old 03-16-2011, 08:26 AM
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happykidschildcare happykidschildcare is offline
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Default Biting

I have 3 toddlers 14 mos 18 mos & 20 mos. The 20 mo old bit the 14 mo old monday, 14 mo old's DCP are first timers and are way to concerned, DCM texted me asking me if I addressed this with the 20 mo olds parents. I mentioned it to them, but the 20 mo old's parents have 3 kids and they know the ins & outs of how these things will happen.

What do you guys do when the parent is way over concerned abouta biting incident, I feel like I may of came off as insensitive to them. Telling them, no matter how observant I am these things will happen, and at some point it will be their child doing the biting. I said this prolly wont be the last bite, bruise etc..Sometimes I feel like Im being such a bitch, but I like to be as candid with parents as possible.
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Old 03-16-2011, 08:40 AM
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youretooloud youretooloud is offline
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Biting happens. Even if you shadow a child, they bite.

If the 20 month old is not a regular biter... the problem isn't really the child.

I can understand a parent being upset about biting. Especially with their first and only baby. I would be heartbroken for my child. Unfortunately, it was MY child who was the biter.

I'd watch the parents very closely... if they can't seem to get past this incident, that might be a problem later on. It shows you how they will react if something else happens. All kids get owies. That's why we have "incident reports" because it happens.

If the 20 month old is becoming a biter, that's a different problem. But, it sounds like you are more concerned with the parents of the victim, and not with the behavior of the 20 month old. (biting occasionally is very normal)

One day their child will bite someone... of course they will claim he learned it from the 20 month old... but, they will understand what it's like to have a biter when their son does it.
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Old 03-16-2011, 12:19 PM
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happykidschildcare happykidschildcare is offline
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The 20 mo old is a handful, he has 2 older brothers so he plays alot harder then most his age. Biting hasnt been a regular thing for him, but its not his first time, he and the 18 mo old went through some biting issues about 4 mos ago. Because the DCG was closer to his age she instantly bit him right back.
Anyhow Im shadowing the 20 mo old daily, we have a corner of the room enclosed (10x10 play area) I use to seperate the babies from the big kids so if I have to step out for a potty break I put him in there. Otherwise Im watching him closely, all I can do right?

I just dont know what the DCP of the child that got bitten expect from me. Asking me if I formally addressed the issue? I always tell the parents of each child what occurred. Its not like they can sit their 20 mo old down and TALK to him about biting.
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Old 03-16-2011, 09:39 PM
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Michael Michael is online now
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We ahve a thread in the Parent's section: http://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6
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Old 03-17-2011, 04:41 AM
jen jen is offline
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The book Teeth Are Not for Biting is great. I was surprised at how quickly they caught on in that format.

As for the parents of the victim, my best suggestion is to really empathize with them. I have found that if you let them know that you understand how they are feeling, they will respond so much better...

"Agh, I know, it is so hard when our littles get hurt. Unfortunately, biting is pretty common in toddlers, but I am doing EVERYTHING I can to get the situation under control as quickly as I can."

Then go on to explain how you handle both the victim and the biter. People just want to know that you care and what you are doing to "fix it." JMHO, but the worst thing you can do is give the impression that it "isn't a big deal" to the parents of the bitten. It IS a big deal to them.

Good Luck!
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Old 03-17-2011, 05:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by happykidschildcare View Post
The 20 mo old is a handful, he has 2 older brothers so he plays alot harder then most his age. Biting hasnt been a regular thing for him, but its not his first time, he and the 18 mo old went through some biting issues about 4 mos ago. Because the DCG was closer to his age she instantly bit him right back.
Anyhow Im shadowing the 20 mo old daily, we have a corner of the room enclosed (10x10 play area) I use to seperate the babies from the big kids so if I have to step out for a potty break I put him in there. Otherwise Im watching him closely, all I can do right?

I just dont know what the DCP of the child that got bitten expect from me. Asking me if I formally addressed the issue? I always tell the parents of each child what occurred. Its not like they can sit their 20 mo old down and TALK to him about biting.
they actually can and should talk to their 20 month old about biting. while it's "developmentally appropriate" it's also one of those developmentally appropriate things that needs to be stopped - FAST! if he understands the concept of walking up to someone and chewing their arm, he can understand his parents talking to him about what he did and he can ESPECIALLY understand their reaction/feelings to him by showing their disapproval.

i recommend reading the thread in the link michael posted - there are a ton of comments there.
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