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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Proper Terminology For Body Parts?
wdmmom 12:30 PM 10-19-2011
I had a dcf about a year ago that taught their (then) early 3 year old that his penis was a PENIS. This kid went around constantly talking about his penis.

One day he wacked it at the playground and said, "Miss, I wacked my penis and it hurt."

My thought was, "Super, you'll be alright. Go play toys." But before I could say anything, another DCB (age 5) comes up to me tattling, saying "Jake just said a bad word!"

I then had DCM ask me why dcb got in trouble for saying penis. (All's I did was bring him to another room and tell him that he can't use those words here.) I told her that we don't allow it here. That other parents find proper terminology inappropriate for children in daycare.

I had the other DCM of the 5 year old boy that tattled and said she heard there was some less than nice language used by a dcb. I told her that it was corrected and she seemed happy with the result.

Around here we refer to that as our "business." We "pee" and "poop" and the kids sometimes refer to their body parts as "peepee" and "butt" and we're all ok with that.

What would you have done and do you allow this?!
Do you allow the words penis and vagina to be used.

I don't go for the cutsy stuff but as my own kids have gotten older, they don't even use proper terminology. They usually refer to it as "business" or "crotch".
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Blackcat31 12:36 PM 10-19-2011
Absolutely they can say penis and vagina. I would never discipline a child for using proper terminolgy.

I had a dcm a few years back that is a Nurse Practioner who specialized in womens reproductive health and she taught her children (both boys) the proper terms for all the other stuff around our penis's and vagina's !! It was funny until I overheard a group of 3-5 year olds discussing vulva's, anus's, foreskins and scrotum's.

I finally just told them that it is all bathroom talk and needed to be used only in private and not at daycare.

In regards to your example though, I would have been fine with the context in which the word was used. It wasn't used as a joke or in poor taste but to tell you about a body part that was hurt. No harm, no foul.

As for the tattler, I would have just said "Johnny, we don't tattle."
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AnneCordelia 12:45 PM 10-19-2011
I also would never discipline a child for using proper terminology.

Children who know proper terminology have been shown in studies to not be preyed upon by sexual predators as often as children who do not know the correct words.

We use penis, testes, yoni and bottom here. Yoni is the sanskrit word for female genitalia and I feel it is more accurate than having them say 'vagina' (which is only really the vaginal canal) or 'labia', ect.

I would have explained to the other boys that 'penis' is a word like any other part of our body. I would explain that it's not a bad word and that we need to use our words properly. Just like I would never tolerate a DCK calling someone a "Poop head" but would think it perfectly acceptable for a DCK to say, "I have to poop."
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Danielle 12:46 PM 10-19-2011
Well, I teach my children the proper terms (penis and vulva) so yes, I allow those terms. I don't think they are words to be ashamed of and if I was the mom, I'd be upset if my child was told it was a bad word. It's not like he used it inappropriately.
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dEHmom 01:00 PM 10-19-2011
growing up my mom always referred to female genitalia as "peach" and to this day i don't eat a peach, and can't look at one without giggling

but i am battling a never ending uphill climb with my boys referring to their male area as a "pecker". I don't know why they call it that, where they got that from, but i have still yet to be successful with them stopping that. I can't say I love hearing "penis" and "vagina" but I'd rather them use the correct words vs vulgar words. Even if they just called it their private area, their area, down there, hoo hoo's, or whatever, it's better than pecker.
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nannyde 01:02 PM 10-19-2011
I don't use proper terminology. I like soft speak.

We call the "area" your "business" or business department and specifically for the boys "your willy"

Learned that from an old english nanny friend of mine when I was in my twenties and have used it since.
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Danielle 01:08 PM 10-19-2011
The problem I see with not using the proper terminology is say Suzy is touched inappropriately. (dEHmom, I'm not picking on you but "peach" works for this example) She tells someone (say Sunday school teacher) that Uncle Johnny touched her peach. What if that person doesn't know that "peach" is Suzy's term for vulva? If instead, she says "Uncle Johnny touched my vulva", it'll be handled much differently.
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sharlan 01:31 PM 10-19-2011
My boys both say peeper. It started with the eldest because he couldn't say penis.

I would not have corrected the boy who said that he hurt his penis because that is exactly what he did. I would not have told him that was a bad word. I would have told the other boy not to tattle and moved on.

I don't understand why it's ok to use a "nickname" for a body part, but it's not ok to say the actual name. IMHO, it's the same as saying nose, ear, or mouth.
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MissAnn 01:48 PM 10-19-2011
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
I had a dcf about a year ago that taught their (then) early 3 year old that his penis was a PENIS. This kid went around constantly talking about his penis.

One day he wacked it at the playground and said, "Miss, I wacked my penis and it hurt."

My thought was, "Super, you'll be alright. Go play toys." But before I could say anything, another DCB (age 5) comes up to me tattling, saying "Jake just said a bad word!"

I then had DCM ask me why dcb got in trouble for saying penis. (All's I did was bring him to another room and tell him that he can't use those words here.) I told her that we don't allow it here. That other parents find proper terminology inappropriate for children in daycare.

I had the other DCM of the 5 year old boy that tattled and said she heard there was some less than nice language used by a dcb. I told her that it was corrected and she seemed happy with the result.

Around here we refer to that as our "business." We "pee" and "poop" and the kids sometimes refer to their body parts as "peepee" and "butt" and we're all ok with that.

What would you have done and do you allow this?!
Do you allow the words penis and vagina to be used.

I don't go for the cutsy stuff but as my own kids have gotten older, they don't even use proper terminology. They usually refer to it as "business" or "crotch".
I use correct terminology when teaching our safety curriculum. I've never had a problem with it. If you treat it non-chalantly......so will they. If they feel the needd to "try" the word out a few times.....so be it. It's grown ups who have the problem. What message does it send when our private parts have to have a silly nickname?
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Lucy 02:13 PM 10-19-2011
I went to a class at my R&R and one of the things they brought up was teaching kids the "right" names for body parts. She said we could do this while changing diapers, helping clean up after potty, or just in general conversation. She actually said while we're changing a diaper (I assume she meant on an 18 month to 3 yr old?) we could wipe them down and say "this is your penis" or "this is your vagina". Really! There were only about 6 of us in attendance and I saw some looks being exchanged. I got brave and spoke up, saying "If one of my kids went home and pointed and said this is my penis or vagina, their parents would immediately ask where they heard that, and I would lose that kid. I guarantee it." All the other ladies in the class said "me too!"

I think it's fine for parents to teach that, and fine for kids to use it in the proper context. But I'M not teaching it to them. If they say "pee-pee", I call it a pee-pee. If they said "private", I call it a private. No big deal either way, but I won't instruct them on which is preferred or correct, because I don't think any of them are preferred or correct. (Obviously I wouldn't let them say vulgar slang words for body parts. lol)
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mismatchedsocks 02:14 PM 10-19-2011
We use potty for bathroom, or poopie for number 2. I will use the word privates if I am saying things like " stop touching your privates, or whoops you fell off your bike, are your privates ok" ( i cant think of when i use it those sound funny!)

If they use penis and vagina that is ok, if they use other words that is ok too. Everyone teaches their kids different.

Now in a daycare if susies mom doesnt want susie saying penis, or vagina and bobby says it, there is not much you can do about it. Just tell the moms, that their child heard that word. They will hear much worse in grade school.

My dd was 4 when she started Kindergarten and heard a boy say he got kicked in the nuts. She asked me and i told her its a not so nice way to say he got kicked in a part of his penis. :O
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dave4him 02:25 PM 10-19-2011
id just go with the basic girl parts boy parts in general.... dont need anyone going home and telling mommy what they learned about today
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Tags:body parts, inappropriate talk, privates
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