I have a 4 year old dcb...awesome verbal skills, great imagination.

The thing is that most of the things he says are simply not true. They usually start with "My mom..." or "My dad..." and then something that didn't happen ( built me a treehouse, took me to Disneyland, etc.)

I know it's stuff he probably wants to happen, but im not sure how to respond. I don't say "now you know.that didn't happen" (sometimes I think it ), but I feel like always engaging him about imaginary stuff is not good either. A good majority of what he says is stuff like this.

WWYD?

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I would say, "What a great imagination you have!" or "That would be fun, wouldn't it?" The lines between imagination and reality are often still very blurry at that age for children. What they WANT to happen and what has ACTUALLY happened coincide.

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We had a little girl like this - oh my the stories she would tell. One time she told us about a fire in their kitchen. We were like "Oh MY!" and then she told us they had to move out and go to Hawaii and then we were like "OK". I think this child will be the next Jo Rowling.

It took us a while to realize she was telling us the truth when her Mum was pregnant.

I have no problem asking the parents if such and such is true.

Time to bring out the Boy who cried Wolf story.

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If I know for absolute certain that it's a story
(last week, dcg told me she scraped her forehead on my ceiling........), then I call them on it, either matter-of-fact or grumpy, depending on the circumstances.

MOF: "Oh wow, what a neat story! Would you like me to write it down and you illustrate it?", "Hmm, I don't think that *really* happened, but it sure sounds fun!", " Silly! That couldn't really happen! You have a vivid imagination!"

Grumpy
(usually when the tale involves misbehavior on someone's part): " I think that's a story. I need to know what really happened." or " No, Johnny didn't do it; Johnny isn't even here today. I need to know that really happened."

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I really like the idea of writing it down for her, and having her illustrate it.

Or, just ask her to draw you a picture of her adventure, but use words like "imagination" and "pretend".

I think you SHOULD foster her imagination. She's 4, and doesn't develpmentally always know the difference between real and imaginary.

Some other things you could do....play a real or pretend game. Come up with a few stories of your own, and ask the children to guess if they are real or pretend.

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Thanks. I always like your responses to the children. Succinct but kind.

And I will have him dictate some stories to me. I love that he's so creative, but i was afraid i was blurring the lines even more, by acting as though they were true stories.

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He may be telling tall tales to his parents about you. This would be a good time to have the "I won't believe everything he says about you if you don't believe everything he says about me" conversation.

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Ignore it. I have a 4 yr old who does that too and I know most everything he says is not true because his mom and I are related. I think they do it for attention.

And every time someone shares about going to chuck even cheese here every kid says they went too.

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I have one dc kid that told his sitter on the weekend that he has a stepmom that beats him. Neither are true lol. I just told his mom that the lines between reality and fantasy are very blurred at 4-5.

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About 15 years ago, a little neighbor boy adopted us. He ate dinner with us every night for 4 years (and Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter, long after we moved away, but that's another story.) He came to our house after school, where we did homework and read. He would tell these long, complicated, involved stories. We drew the pictures, etc and when he was telling them orally, I listened (and tried not to yawn).

He's grown now and a professional song writer. Sometimes, I'm really glad that I listened respectfully to his tall tales.

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