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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>My screamer is back ...
midaycare 07:59 AM 08-03-2015
I am giving a dcg, a new 2 year old a one-week trial this week. She had been coming once a week, did not come for the past 2 weeks due to vacation, and this is her trial before starting full-time in a few weeks.
All she does is scream. I realize she is still getting used to things, but it's been 3.5 hours. It's not normal and I am so stressed out.
Please give me advice. Term now or wait it out?
All she does is scream. I realize she is still getting used to things, but it's been 3.5 hours. It's not normal and I am so stressed out.
Please give me advice. Term now or wait it out?
midaycare 08:03 AM 08-03-2015
I should add ... Every other day she was here, she screamed all day long. I thought it was her lack of being her that much. And it may be. But I've never witnessed a child having such issues adjusting.
Blackcat31 08:10 AM 08-03-2015
Originally Posted by midaycare:
I should add ... Every other day she was here, she screamed all day long. I thought it was her lack of being her that much. And it may be. But I've never witnessed a child having such issues adjusting.
Im probably going to be odd man out but I would term. I should add ... Every other day she was here, she screamed all day long. I thought it was her lack of being her that much. And it may be. But I've never witnessed a child having such issues adjusting.
At 2 yrs old, there is no reason to scream all day.
Plus, everyone constantly touts the "beauty of self-employment" etc etc and honestly, the beauty of self-employment is that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do and in my experience there is NOTHING more stressful that dealing with a child that is screaming when most times the screaming is simply due to not being held, coddled, babied etc.....
If this were a younger child, I'd chalk it up to adjustment but again IME, at 2 that is not usually the case...at 2, they are usually super easy to distract and redirect.... constant screaming....for 3.5 hours...is not something I'd classify under adjustment at all.
So again, I'd term. Whatever you net (income wise) for a full time kid would still NOT be worth listening to someone scream all day... I just couldn't do it.
Sucks for every other kid you have in care too.
Play Care 08:17 AM 08-03-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Im probably going to be odd man out but I would term.
At 2 yrs old, there is no reason to scream all day.
Plus, everyone constantly touts the "beauty of self-employment" etc etc and honestly, the beauty of self-employment is that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do and in my experience there is NOTHING more stressful that dealing with a child that is screaming when most times the screaming is simply due to not being held, coddled, babied etc.....
If this were a younger child, I'd chalk it up to adjustment but again IME, at 2 that is not usually the case...at 2, they are usually super easy to distract and redirect.... constant screaming....for 3.5 hours...is not something I'd classify under adjustment at all.
So again, I'd term. Whatever you net (income wise) for a full time kid would still NOT be worth listening to someone scream all day... I just couldn't do it.
Sucks for every other kid you have in care too.
What she said.Im probably going to be odd man out but I would term.
At 2 yrs old, there is no reason to scream all day.
Plus, everyone constantly touts the "beauty of self-employment" etc etc and honestly, the beauty of self-employment is that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do and in my experience there is NOTHING more stressful that dealing with a child that is screaming when most times the screaming is simply due to not being held, coddled, babied etc.....
If this were a younger child, I'd chalk it up to adjustment but again IME, at 2 that is not usually the case...at 2, they are usually super easy to distract and redirect.... constant screaming....for 3.5 hours...is not something I'd classify under adjustment at all.
So again, I'd term. Whatever you net (income wise) for a full time kid would still NOT be worth listening to someone scream all day... I just couldn't do it.
Sucks for every other kid you have in care too.
midaycare 08:45 AM 08-03-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Im probably going to be odd man out but I would term.
At 2 yrs old, there is no reason to scream all day.
Plus, everyone constantly touts the "beauty of self-employment" etc etc and honestly, the beauty of self-employment is that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do and in my experience there is NOTHING more stressful that dealing with a child that is screaming when most times the screaming is simply due to not being held, coddled, babied etc.....
If this were a younger child, I'd chalk it up to adjustment but again IME, at 2 that is not usually the case...at 2, they are usually super easy to distract and redirect.... constant screaming....for 3.5 hours...is not something I'd classify under adjustment at all.
So again, I'd term. Whatever you net (income wise) for a full time kid would still NOT be worth listening to someone scream all day... I just couldn't do it.
Sucks for every other kid you have in care too.
This is exactly what I needed to hear - that it wasn't adjustment and I don't just stink as a provider. It's odd behavior and I haven't witnessed it before, but I'm new to dc.Im probably going to be odd man out but I would term.
At 2 yrs old, there is no reason to scream all day.
Plus, everyone constantly touts the "beauty of self-employment" etc etc and honestly, the beauty of self-employment is that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do and in my experience there is NOTHING more stressful that dealing with a child that is screaming when most times the screaming is simply due to not being held, coddled, babied etc.....
If this were a younger child, I'd chalk it up to adjustment but again IME, at 2 that is not usually the case...at 2, they are usually super easy to distract and redirect.... constant screaming....for 3.5 hours...is not something I'd classify under adjustment at all.
So again, I'd term. Whatever you net (income wise) for a full time kid would still NOT be worth listening to someone scream all day... I just couldn't do it.
Sucks for every other kid you have in care too.
AuntTami 08:59 AM 08-03-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Im probably going to be odd man out but I would term.
At 2 yrs old, there is no reason to scream all day.
Plus, everyone constantly touts the "beauty of self-employment" etc etc and honestly, the beauty of self-employment is that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do and in my experience there is NOTHING more stressful that dealing with a child that is screaming when most times the screaming is simply due to not being held, coddled, babied etc.....
If this were a younger child, I'd chalk it up to adjustment but again IME, at 2 that is not usually the case...at 2, they are usually super easy to distract and redirect.... constant screaming....for 3.5 hours...is not something I'd classify under adjustment at all.
So again, I'd term. Whatever you net (income wise) for a full time kid would still NOT be worth listening to someone scream all day... I just couldn't do it.
Sucks for every other kid you have in care too.
Not the odd man out at all BC! I agree with her tooIm probably going to be odd man out but I would term.
At 2 yrs old, there is no reason to scream all day.
Plus, everyone constantly touts the "beauty of self-employment" etc etc and honestly, the beauty of self-employment is that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do and in my experience there is NOTHING more stressful that dealing with a child that is screaming when most times the screaming is simply due to not being held, coddled, babied etc.....
If this were a younger child, I'd chalk it up to adjustment but again IME, at 2 that is not usually the case...at 2, they are usually super easy to distract and redirect.... constant screaming....for 3.5 hours...is not something I'd classify under adjustment at all.
So again, I'd term. Whatever you net (income wise) for a full time kid would still NOT be worth listening to someone scream all day... I just couldn't do it.
Sucks for every other kid you have in care too.
Blackcat31 09:02 AM 08-03-2015
Originally Posted by midaycare:
This is exactly what I needed to hear - that it wasn't adjustment and I don't just stink as a provider. It's odd behavior and I haven't witnessed it before, but I'm new to dc.
I don't think this has anything to do with you. This is exactly what I needed to hear - that it wasn't adjustment and I don't just stink as a provider. It's odd behavior and I haven't witnessed it before, but I'm new to dc.
It's has to do with parents and how they have "taught" their child to behave.
You rock as a provider!!
midaycare 09:08 AM 08-03-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I don't think this has anything to do with you.
It's has to do with parents and how they have "taught" their child to behave.
You rock as a provider!!
Thank you BC! You don't know how much that means coming from you! I don't think this has anything to do with you.
It's has to do with parents and how they have "taught" their child to behave.
You rock as a provider!!
Play Care 09:26 AM 08-03-2015
Originally Posted by midaycare:
This is exactly what I needed to hear - that it wasn't adjustment and I don't just stink as a provider. It's odd behavior and I haven't witnessed it before, but I'm new to dc.
I think it's normal to feel that way when you are struggling to get a child on the program. I do think the attitude from dc parents is that "I'm paying you so you have to deal with it and if you can't there is something wrong with you" plays a big part into those feelings This is exactly what I needed to hear - that it wasn't adjustment and I don't just stink as a provider. It's odd behavior and I haven't witnessed it before, but I'm new to dc.
A very wise woman told me when I was starting out that you just don't have the key to every child. And that's not a knock on you or the child - just as in life we sometimes don't mesh well in every situation, not every child care is right for every child. Personally I've learned it's better to let the child go - because maybe the next provider will have that key.
Conoad 01:21 PM 08-03-2015
I was in this situation last year - sibling of a perfect dcg. I took as a newborn and termed for her crying at 4 months (3 months of hell) She had 2 "nannies" term her after me and out of guilt I took her back at a year old. I kept her for a year (until 2) and had to term again. She never stopped crying. Some kids are just that way. Term now before it gets harder to do so. I learned a valuable lesson with that family. Your gut instinct is always right.
Laurel 05:44 AM 08-04-2015
What everybody else said!
I definitely agree with going with your gut. Do you really want to listen to this screaming? It is also not fair at all to the other children. If I knew my child was in that situation and had to listen to screaming all day, I'd pull as a parent. That is one excuse you could use if you need one. "It isn't fair to the other children. They can't relax and enjoy their day." Mom and dad need to deal with this.
Laurel
I definitely agree with going with your gut. Do you really want to listen to this screaming? It is also not fair at all to the other children. If I knew my child was in that situation and had to listen to screaming all day, I'd pull as a parent. That is one excuse you could use if you need one. "It isn't fair to the other children. They can't relax and enjoy their day." Mom and dad need to deal with this.
Laurel
midaycare 05:59 AM 08-04-2015
Originally Posted by Laurel:
What everybody else said!
I definitely agree with going with your gut. Do you really want to listen to this screaming? It is also not fair at all to the other children. If I knew my child was in that situation and had to listen to screaming all day, I'd pull as a parent. That is one excuse you could use if you need one. "It isn't fair to the other children. They can't relax and enjoy their day." Mom and dad need to deal with this.
Laurel
I termed but dcm threw a huge hissy fit. Implied I was probably abusing her child. It was an ugly day yesterday. I have another post up about it. I'm still not quite over the craziness of it all.What everybody else said!
I definitely agree with going with your gut. Do you really want to listen to this screaming? It is also not fair at all to the other children. If I knew my child was in that situation and had to listen to screaming all day, I'd pull as a parent. That is one excuse you could use if you need one. "It isn't fair to the other children. They can't relax and enjoy their day." Mom and dad need to deal with this.
Laurel
Blackcat31 06:07 AM 08-04-2015
Originally Posted by midaycare:
I termed but dcm threw a huge hissy fit. Implied I was probably abusing her child. It was an ugly day yesterday. I have another post up about it. I'm still not quite over the craziness of it all.
You know I just don't get why. If DCG "supposedly" didn't ever cry/scream or act that way anywhere other than your house, WHY would DCM bother throwing a hissy fit? I termed but dcm threw a huge hissy fit. Implied I was probably abusing her child. It was an ugly day yesterday. I have another post up about it. I'm still not quite over the craziness of it all.
As a parent, the LAST place I'd want my child is somewhere she behaved so oddly and was so unhappy at.
midaycare 06:56 AM 08-04-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
You know I just don't get why. If DCG "supposedly" didn't ever cry/scream or act that way anywhere other than your house, WHY would DCM bother throwing a hissy fit?
As a parent, the LAST place I'd want my child is somewhere she behaved so oddly and was so unhappy at.
ITA. If I had to look at it from a logical place, I would say dcm has had some previous issues with dcg, and knows she may need some special attention due to being a preemie, but doesn't want to hear this. She has made a point many times to tell me dcg is "all caught up with peers" - but she clearly is not and is in early on services. That's who recommended me to her. The therapists like my program.You know I just don't get why. If DCG "supposedly" didn't ever cry/scream or act that way anywhere other than your house, WHY would DCM bother throwing a hissy fit?
As a parent, the LAST place I'd want my child is somewhere she behaved so oddly and was so unhappy at.
I did not tell dcm that something is wrong with dcg - I just said she must not like it here and is not adjusting. But since she went off her rocker, I'm guessing dcm has bigger things on her mind re: dcg.
But not thinking logically, she's still a class "A" witch for how she treated me.
Blackcat31 07:04 AM 08-04-2015
Originally Posted by midaycare:
But not thinking logically, she's still a class "A" witch for how she treated me.
For sure!!! But not thinking logically, she's still a class "A" witch for how she treated me.
She'll eventually find out that kind of attitude doesn't get you far.
You were probably only the first "no" she got but I highly doubt you'll be the last.
Rockgirl 07:09 AM 08-04-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
You were probably only the first "no" she got but I highly doubt you'll be the last.
I agree! Two of the screamers I have terminated over the years have been terminated from daycares they attended after leaving here, and after only a short time of being there. One provider even quit daycare altogether! Not that it made me happy to hear about it, but I did feel validated!You were probably only the first "no" she got but I highly doubt you'll be the last.
grateday 05:59 PM 08-06-2015
Originally Posted by midaycare:
I termed but dcm threw a huge hissy fit. Implied I was probably abusing her child. It was an ugly day yesterday. I have another post up about it. I'm still not quite over the craziness of it all.
NO, when this is all over you are going to have a piece of yourself that belongs to you. Call your licencor, and explain things it really helps when parents get ugly like that (If they are experienced they have herd it all). It sounds to me like the parents are hurt and feel like they have done no wrong by taking no responsibility in teaching.I termed but dcm threw a huge hissy fit. Implied I was probably abusing her child. It was an ugly day yesterday. I have another post up about it. I'm still not quite over the craziness of it all.
I had to teach a screamer and it took 1 year. There are occasional outbursts but it was hard. I also had to term a child that had colic because it was too much. You can't please everyone, you can't teach everyone.
Don't feel bad. Document it.
midaycare 06:19 PM 08-06-2015
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
I agree! Two of the screamers I have terminated over the years have been terminated from daycares they attended after leaving here, and after only a short time of being there. One provider even quit daycare altogether! Not that it made me happy to hear about it, but I did feel validated!
I'm really hoping to hear something similar. Oh now I just sound evil.I agree! Two of the screamers I have terminated over the years have been terminated from daycares they attended after leaving here, and after only a short time of being there. One provider even quit daycare altogether! Not that it made me happy to hear about it, but I did feel validated!