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daycare 09:09 AM 02-27-2014
I have 2 sets of kids that have a crush on each other. ages 4-5

I don't really play into it, and I keep a close on what they are doing

When getting picked up or dropped off by parents, they will hug on another and say good-bye.

One little girl writes the boys name on things during art time, sidewalk chalk etc.

Yesterday the little dcg dcd was getting a look of anger on his face that some little boy was hugging her good-bye 3-4 times.

DCD said that dcg talks about him all the time and they don't like it.

I did tell him, well that's what you get for having cute kids. This is all normal and I told him that it was all innocent. He still does not seem happy about it.

What else can I do or should i say to make the parents feel better about this situation.
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preschoolteacher 10:49 AM 02-27-2014
Is it normal, really? I think the school-age crush phase is moving to younger and younger kids, and I blame Disney (haha, but really). Every TV show has some sort of crush element, Disney radio plays so much pop love song music. Kids are seeing this behavior and imitating it. Where else would a 4 year old learn to write a boy's name on her stuff--that screams of imitating a scene of a teen girl in a TV show to me.

I remember my first crush was in 3rd grade.

I'd suggest parents monitor their child's media.
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daycare 06:22 PM 02-27-2014
Originally Posted by preschoolteacher:
Is it normal, really? I think the school-age crush phase is moving to younger and younger kids, and I blame Disney (haha, but really). Every TV show has some sort of crush element, Disney radio plays so much pop love song music. Kids are seeing this behavior and imitating it. Where else would a 4 year old learn to write a boy's name on her stuff--that screams of imitating a scene of a teen girl in a TV show to me.

I remember my first crush was in 3rd grade.

I'd suggest parents monitor their child's media.
I didn't really stop to think about that part. I have never had this happen to this extent before. I have kids tell me that I am their GF or that another child is pretty, but nothing like this.

It is both of the kids that are doing it the boy and the girl.....
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Jacobadom8 12:13 AM 04-01-2015
Originally Posted by daycare:
I have 2 sets of kids that have a crush on each other. ages 4-5

I don't really play into it, and I keep a close on what they are doing

When getting picked up or dropped off by parents, they will hug on another and say good-bye.

One little girl writes the boys name on things during art time, sidewalk chalk etc.

Yesterday the little dcg dcd was getting a look of anger on his face that some little boy was hugging her good-bye 3-4 times.

DCD said that dcg talks about him all the time and they don't like it.

I did tell him, well that's what you get for having cute kids. This is all normal and I told him that it was all innocent. He still does not seem happy about it.

What else can I do or should i say to make the parents feel better about this situation.
Hey…let the parents know that this is an absolutely normal part of growing up. Attraction towards the opposite sex can begin as early as the age of 4 to 5. In fact, the parents must take care to ensure that they do NOT scold the child for talking about someone at length or expressing their affection with hugs. Scolding children this young for natural behavior can cause them to develop confused feelings regarding the topic.
If the parents still seem bothered by it, you can ensure them that the kids remain under your watch and that nothing untoward could possibly happen as long as you are supervising the innocent peeps.
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Blackcat31 06:19 AM 04-01-2015
Originally Posted by daycare:
I have 2 sets of kids that have a crush on each other. ages 4-5

I don't really play into it, and I keep a close on what they are doing

When getting picked up or dropped off by parents, they will hug on another and say good-bye.

One little girl writes the boys name on things during art time, sidewalk chalk etc.

Yesterday the little dcg dcd was getting a look of anger on his face that some little boy was hugging her good-bye 3-4 times.

DCD said that dcg talks about him all the time and they don't like it.
I did tell him, well that's what you get for having cute kids. This is all normal and I told him that it was all innocent. He still does not seem happy about it.

What else can I do or should i say to make the parents feel better about this situation.
What exactly does this family expect you to do about it?

That's the silliest thing I think I've ever heard a parent say...

If they don't like it, I would tell them they are free to remove their DD from care. Otherwise, all children attending your program are pretty much in charge of forming their own relationships and rather than expect you to address or even give attention to this, the family should step up and influence their own child to behave in a manner they feel is appropriate.

Otherwise, I fail to see how any of this has anything to do with you.

It isn't like you are encouraging them.

Sheesh....I think I've officially met my quota of ridiculousness.
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spinnymarie 11:26 AM 04-01-2015
I agree that there's really nothing to be done. You've said you watch them carefully, but even if they are calling it a 'crush' the simple fact is that they like each other more than they like the other kids. Nothing wrong with that!
They need to speak to their daughter if they don't want to hear about DCB all day!
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spud912 11:45 AM 04-01-2015
Originally Posted by preschoolteacher:
Is it normal, really? I think the school-age crush phase is moving to younger and younger kids, and I blame Disney (haha, but really). Every TV show has some sort of crush element, Disney radio plays so much pop love song music. Kids are seeing this behavior and imitating it. Where else would a 4 year old learn to write a boy's name on her stuff--that screams of imitating a scene of a teen girl in a TV show to me.

I remember my first crush was in 3rd grade.

I'd suggest parents monitor their child's media.
I see what you're saying but I don't see anything premature or odd about it. My 6 year old dd has a boy in her class she always talks about. She always writes letters to him like "XXX is my best friend" and says that he has 3 "girlfriends." I really think it's natural curiosity about the opposite sex and nothing odd or out of the ordinary.

OP: Is the dcd teasing about "not liking it" or does he seem genuinely upset? I know my dh always says to my dd "I don't like that" when she talks about boys in her class and that she is "not to have a boyfriend until she is all grown up" .... all said mostly in jest, but I can see someone interpreting it as he is dead serious.
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daycare 11:55 AM 04-01-2015
this was over a year ago and dont even recall what happened...lol I think I just let it go and both kids are still here......one went to kindy and he stayed and the other will leave for kindy this year.

they still have a crush on each other and I still just leave it be....
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daycarediva 05:47 PM 04-01-2015
I think this is perfectly normal, and it's happened here before and I handle it the way I handle same sex friendships. I have an exceptionally adorable/sweet dcg right now who has ALL of my dcb's crushing. It's not a CRUSH, per se, they just ALL adore her (heck, even the girls do and so do I.)
I hear stuff like this all the time.

"I love L!"
"L's so sweet!"
"L's my best friend."


and I respond

"L is SWEET. I liked when L did ..........."
"I love L too! and I love YOU! and I love C! and D!"
"L is a very good friend to have."

the end. Most of the parents think it's cute. One isn't so keen on it, but I explained that they are making a bigger deal out of it than it really is. Like any phase/friend, drop it and it will go away.

I have one dcb who has a slight crush on me. Asked me to marry him, brings me gifts, tell his parents I am his gf when he grows up.
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Tags:crushes, media, pre school
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