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Old 07-17-2010, 06:33 PM
GretasLittleFriends GretasLittleFriends is offline
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Location: Georgia
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Default How to Say "No"

So, I have this family. Sometimes they're kind of difficult. Mostly just not following the rules. I believe there is little to no rules or structure at home. Single parent household. They get violent sometimes but only with each other. Ages 4 and 5 (almost 6). So, they are a lot of work during waking hours.

Parent has a new job offer and accepted. Instead of the children being here from say 2:30p - 11:30p (at the latest) the new job will be over nights. Of course parent will have to sleep so there will also be some daytime care needed.

I am trying to figure out to tell the parent that though I offer "24/7" care that I am unwilling to accept these two children overnights. Not necessarily terminate them, just not the overnight shift.

My husband and teenage daughter feel that having them over nights "IS A BAD IDEA". Part of me thinks that it'd be easier to have them here sleeping, rather than here awake. HOWEVER, I have no idea what kind of sleepers they are, if the sleep the night, if there are accidents, night terrors, etc. Also, the thought of me sleeping with them in my home is frightening. What happens if they do something horrifically naughty while I'm sleeping, like light the house on fire. I don't know how they would as they do not know where in the garage the matches/lighters are kept. I could easily them waking up and going outside to play. We live in the country (on 20 acres) but still they are NOT to be outside unsupervised. I honestly don't think I would be getting restful sleep. Not to mention, the other members of my household (husband, teenager, 5yr old and 2 month old) likely wouldn't sleep very well. Not sure where they would sleep either. Likely the living room on mats with sleeping bags and pillows. I do not have a separate daycare area.

When I originally got licensed I advertised 24/7. Now, every once in a great while I will have one child spend the night, though in the 1.5 years I've been licensed it's happened 3 times. I do have a children that stay 'til 11:30 or midnight, every once in a while 1am. I've also had children show up as early as 4am. Difference is it's one at a time, and they are over all much better behaved children.

I wouldn't mind having them during the day when the parent needs to sleep. It's not about money because I would charge the same hourly rate regardless of when they are here. Also, with school starting I would actually get less money if they were here during the day as the older one would be in school anyway.
Give a little love to a child, and you get a great deal back.
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Old 07-17-2010, 08:10 PM
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QualiTcare QualiTcare is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,484

well, you could always do a trial run and let the mom know you're concerned.

for the record, my kids are 2 years apart (4 and 6) and one is a boy and one a girl. they are HORRIBLE when they're together - all they do is fight. nobody wants to babysit them both at the same time and i don't blame them or expect them to.

BUT they sleep just fine. i think it's normal for siblings that are close in age to be hellians. they lay down together at night though and just go to sleep like anyone else.

i bet if you kept just one of the kids alone, they'd be an angel. nobody cares to keep one of my kids because they are REALLY well behaved, but when they get together - OMG!!

i bet they'd be fine overnight, but like i said - u could just try it and see, and if they don't sleep at night, end it then.
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Old 07-17-2010, 08:11 PM
jen jen is offline
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Hmmm...maybe you could say something to the effect that with your new baby and sleep being at a premium, you are not accepting overnight clients at this time. Although, of course, you would be happy to continue to have them during the day.

Or, simply, "I'm not accepting overnight clients at this time." You really don't need to justify it; but I always find myself wanting to! LOL!

If you aren't comfortable (and your family isn't comfortable) I wouldn't do it.
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Old 07-18-2010, 05:42 AM
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Pammie Pammie is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2010
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I've found that if my family has expressed BIG concerns about something with my daycare, I really take that to heart Often times, my husband is great at looking at situations without emotion, when I'm not, and since I trust him, I can follow his advice - and it almost always turns out the right decision to make.

Like previous posters - simply say that you're not accepting overnight clients at this time - no need to give an explanation, even if they ask for one. You don't have to justify or explain your business decisions to your clients - and if they ask, simply say, "I'm sorry, I can't accommodate overnight clients at this time"

Please do what's best for you and your family - and trust your instincts!!!
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Old 07-18-2010, 08:44 AM
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nannyde nannyde is offline
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Will you have the option to have them on one or the other shifts? Usually people can find family and friends to do the overnight time for free.. it's the day shift so that they can sleep time that's the hard part to get cheap. It's common for these guys to ask for you to do both "since they are just sleeping" on part of it. You can get into a deal where you are just being paid for the day time and not the night.

My State won't pay for sleep time so the only thing the State paid parents can get on the night shift is the night shift. The parents end up negotiating a deal where the kid is kept until noon or something so they can go sleep. Problem with that is that they are often late coming to get them. You can get inot a deal where they are supposed to be gone and there's no answer on the phone when you start calling. Once you have the kids in the house it's very easy for the parent to just ignore your calls and use the excuse that their phone wasn't working.

If you do both shifts then CHARGE for both shifts.

If you do just the nights it I would insist the kids are picked up right after she gets off of work. Don't broker any extra hours for free just because they are sleeping at night.
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Old 07-18-2010, 11:47 AM
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MarinaVanessa MarinaVanessa is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ventura County, CA
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I was just thinking the same thing. Could someone else have them after a certain time and the DC kids sleep over at their hose instead of yours?

Also, I don't know if you or your state has policies about how many hours in a day they are allowed to stay. For example in my DC I don't watch kids for longer than 10 hours in a 24 hour period. I personally think that anything more than that is just too much time spent away from their own family. If you don't have a policy along this lines then you lessen your burden some by giving her a maximum amount of hours that her kids could be with you per 24 hours. You could do this before you and her sign your new agreement.

I just think that being with you all night and into the next day could serve harder for you. You'd have to dress the kids also right? I would do an hourly max and have a trial run.
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Old 07-18-2010, 12:51 PM
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nannyde nannyde is offline
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Are these State paid kids? If so, find out what the State allows before you go any further. My State only pays for working hours and usually State paid overnight kids go to family and friends because it's easy money. The Mom may try to get you to do "some" day hours for the same money as the overnight pay. The "some" hours are hard to do because it's hard to get them to pick up after they have only had a few hours sleep. What most overnight workers want is the overnight and a full eight hour sleep shift which results in you having them 16 plus hours a day.

The other thing they try to get you to do is take them during the day but bill the State for the overnight time.
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night care, terrorizing

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