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Old 02-21-2019, 01:19 PM
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Default After School-Ager Problem

I've got a couple questions.

I have a boy who's 7 that comes almost every Monday after school. His sister is here all day with me, they are a drop-in family. Once he gets here, I am doing activities with the kids. Something structured and organized, like working on our colors at the table or playing with Play-Doh. My group is ages 1-3. My problem is I'm pretty sure he's bored and constantly gets into toys he's not supposed to. I tell him over and over to not get out toys because we are done playing with those. He rough plays with his sister and wounds everybody up. This is pick up time for 2 families, which is why I like to have it quiet and organized - not loud and toys strewn all over the place. To be honest, I don't really have anything for him to do since my group is so much younger. I would prefer him sit somewhere quietly and entertain himself somehow. Any advice on how to control this kid?

He brings me to my next question. Mom mentioned him coming all day when school is out. I really think that's not going to work out. He will be so bored and I see him being a pain to deal with. All my kids nap at the same time and I have no clue what I will do with him during that time. It comes down to he doesn't fit in with the group and our activities due to the age difference. I'd like to tell the mom I can't watch him in the summers, but it's only 1 day a week. Has anyone had success with school agers mixed with their toddlers?

Thanks in advance!
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Old 02-21-2019, 02:06 PM
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I let parents know that my program is toddler based. Our toys and activities are for toddlers.

We offer a late night sometimes. Pizza, movies, games etc. the kids love it because it's more easy going than a regular daycare day. I have let siblings who have been past daycare kids come too. But now we are cutting off the age after 6.

One family has a 3 year old with me....6 year old big sister who aged out of full time care last year and 8 year old brother who was with me from age 1 to 5.

The six year old LOVES coming back and playing with some of her friends and she fits right back in. Eight year old boy...not so much. The first time he came. my son tried SOOO hard to keep him occupied. Offered to play video games with him etc. He got "bored" every five minutes.

He came a couple weeks ago again and I warned his mom he probably wasn't going to enjoy being surrounded by little kids. But she wanted him too.

I told my son to stop trying so hard to give the kid "extra". He spend most of him time sulking in the corner...refusing to do anything at all except eat pizza. I don't think he'll want to come again, which is sad...but we really aren't set up to take care of kids that old. The young ones take all my time and energy. And this kid refuses to entertain himself.

So we decided to just let parents know that we are only for littles.
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Old 02-21-2019, 03:38 PM
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If you let him go will you lose his sibling too? That's a big age gap and I can see why it would be difficult for everyone. I think I'd say no to dcm.
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Old 02-21-2019, 05:48 PM
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Re: I would prefer him sit somewhere quietly and entertain himself somehow.

I really don't think that is an appropriate expectation for a 7 year old boy who has been in school all day long. Sounds like he has aged out of your program and is not a good fit.
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Old 02-21-2019, 06:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lblanke View Post
Re: I would prefer him sit somewhere quietly and entertain himself somehow.

I really don't think that is an appropriate expectation for a 7 year old boy who has been in school all day long. Sounds like he has aged out of your program and is not a good fit.
Yeah, that's tough if you don't have anyone else he can play with or anything for his age level. I mean, you could get an Xbox and trust me you wouldn't hear a peep from him but that's probably not the best plan lol. If you do keep him, what about some of the larger Lego sets that would take a while to complete? Chapter books? My 7yr old loves Harry Potter, the guardians of GA'hoole, magic tree house books. Sharpies and art hub for kids keeps him entertained for a while too. Ask him what he would like to do and see if you can get some of that.
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Old 02-21-2019, 07:13 PM
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I recently (January) started an after school kid that is almost 7. I swore I would never enroll a school aged child but mom had no where else for him to go after an awful experience at an after school program. This is a program that I used to run and I have seen how it has deteriorated since I’ve left and it’s not an environment that I felt was capable of handling him knowing his challenges and understanding his backstory. .

I had him full days on Mondays and half days Tuesday-Friday after 4K when he was 4 and all of that following summer when he had turned 5. Mom had wanted him to come all the next summer when he was 6 but I had to tell her I was not equipped to enroll a child that old and one that doesn’t nap on a full time basis. What did suck was that I had another child that was about 5 months older that another mom wanted to enroll and I would’ve loved to have but I couldn’t tell one yes and the other no. This child would have been fine as I think it’s a personality thing and partly because she’s a girl and could play mother hen whereas the boy is not as interested in playing with toddlers. I do take on both very occasionally on school breaks or as a back up but never on an all day every day type of basis.

So far after school is going okay. We had a rough two weeks where I was regretting my decision to break my own no school agers rule. The environment that he was coming from was an after school program where essentially the kids were running wild, going missing and no structure what so ever but now that he is settled we are doing a lot better although honestly he is a very tough kid and still has his days.

What I’ve found helps is if there is any possible way you can be outside in that afternoon when he is there that really helps us out a lot and I would do that. The days we can be outside go so much faster than the days we are stuck in due to freezing temps or snow. School is so structured these days that they need that time to run around and being expected to sit at a table is not going to work out well. When we are doing table things he does get into coloring, I cut up boxes and they colored on the cardboard and he loved that and sat for like an hour. Other types of crafts like dot painting keep him fairly entertained too. He is also super into cars and stuff and can keep himself entertained fairly well. I honestly cannot wait until spring where we can just for sure be outside every day.
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Old 02-22-2019, 07:34 AM
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I always wonder why parents and providers alike get so focused on not wanting to split siblings or the difficulties of having two different drop off places....

Unless the siblings are twins or the same age, there are always going to be two different drop offs/pick up places once one child goes to school.

I stopped taking school aged kids and only take them at Kindy age and younger and I've never had a family with siblings leave or not enroll because of it.

Heck, I won't even take school aged kids I had from birth on....once they enter school some sort of fundamental change occurs and it's not one I like dealing with so school age is not the right age for me
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Old 02-22-2019, 07:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Heck, I won't even take school aged kids I had from birth on....once they enter school some sort of fundamental change occurs and it's not one I like dealing with so school age is not the right age for me
You mean they turn into little jerks?
(I can say that since I have a first grader, right?)
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Old 02-22-2019, 07:59 AM
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Originally Posted by happymom View Post
You mean they turn into little jerks?
(I can say that since I have a first grader, right?)
Well I was going to go with something like "too advanced for daycare" but um, yeah..."little jerks" about sums it up too!

FWIW~ If I just had school aged kids and didn't have the younger crowd, I would probably enjoy the heck out of them as I can kinda be a little jerk too but for the sake of the kids I am suppose to be teaching/supervising, I try really hard to hide it.
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Old 02-22-2019, 10:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Well I was going to go with something like "too advanced for daycare" but um, yeah..."little jerks" about sums it up too!

FWIW~ If I just had school aged kids and didn't have the younger crowd, I would probably enjoy the heck out of them as I can kinda be a little jerk too but for the sake of the kids I am suppose to be teaching/supervising, I try really hard to hide it.
When my own two kids were elementary age, I had a couple of years having only school-agers. It was a lot of fun! We played board games, card games, dominoes, etc. We could work on fairly advanced projects that took a couple of weeks to complete. I could tell them jokes, and they actually got them. Lol. Then I gradually started adding preschoolers and toddlers. The school system here added a very affordable after-school program. So here I am, with just toddlers and preschoolers! I still take the ones I’ve had enrolled, up until they finish kindergarten on school holidays. They’re still manageable at that point. Lol
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Old 02-22-2019, 11:13 AM
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I work in a center and we take school age, the one biggest thing that I have found is that they have to have a routine. In the summer we go to the library on Tuesdays and Thursdays for the reading program and we take them to vbs and we do different activities with them. During the school year, they come in off the bus and we give them snack and then we set them down and help then with their homework if they have any or they read a book if they don't have any homework. Sometimes we go outside if the weather is nice
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Old 02-22-2019, 11:33 AM
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Routine is key. I don't have school agers but my ownboys are 8 & 10. If I set expectations at the start of summer, they are good. If I say go find something to do, it is the end of the world. By the end of summer, they make their own routine, but it takes some time. Every minute of their day at school is scheduled so they are lost without someone telling them how to occupy themselves. We limit electronics for our kids to an hour a day in the summer including tv, none during the week during the school year. If you don't use electronics in your daycare and this little guy is used to them, it will be even more of a struggle.

My sanity is worth more than 1 day a week income. If I was open during the summer, I would consider ir due to my own kids age, but then I'd probably regret it lol.
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Old 02-22-2019, 12:39 PM
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Help them
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