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AmyLeigh 02:07 PM 12-06-2011
I have an 8 yo, 5 yo, and 3 yo at home. The older 2 are homeschooled.
My son (5) is driving me crazy because he wants to eat different foods than I had planned, or different times than what is on schedule. I keep telling him that if he ate more of his lunch instead of running off to play, he wouldn't be hungry now. But he insists and goes to the snack cabinet. This has been happening a lot lately, so I think he is in a growth spurt and is genuinely hungry. But you all know how it is, if one kid has some cheerios or crackers, all of a sudden they all are STARVING. Forget the fact I have fresh baked zucchini bread waiting for snack time in one hour. Or a turkey in the oven for dinner. They will be given food soon.
I am on the Food Program, but don't qualify for my own children. It really doesn't matter if I give the daycare kids and my own children the same food at the same time, but it makes it sooooo much easier for everybody, namely me. I already have some issues with the Food Program, and this is just another example of how it is causing problems in my house.
Should I just let this go or insist that he follow the daycare food schedule?
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bice99 02:11 PM 12-06-2011
My girls ate what the DCK were eating, for the most part. But, if during snack time, my DD wanted something else, I made it for her. My girls eat what they want for breakfast. DCK eat what I feed them - some show up as the girls are eating, some eat afterwards. But my girls are older than all of my DCK.
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Meyou 02:16 PM 12-06-2011
My kids eat on the DC schedule or at off times in another room so DCK's don't see food preparation or anyone eating anything different.
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Zoe 02:29 PM 12-06-2011
I don't get reimbursed for my kids either, but I still have them eat with the daycare kids (they're the same age) at the same time. They get whatever they want for breakfast while the dck's aren't here, and occasionally I'll let them have something else for afternoon snack depending on who's here. It's about making it easier on everyone, especially me. My kids don't mind it that much.
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small_steps 05:41 PM 12-06-2011
I have little ones at home too (twins that are 8 and a 2 year old). My twins are in school so they eat what they want for breakfast and snacks like cereal, pop tart, cinn roll's (away from the other kids) and my 2 year old usually eats what the dck's eat unless he gets up earlier and eats before they get here. Sometimes if he is having a bad day I will give him a different snack or an extra snack and let him sit in the other room with it.

During the summer I tried to make my twins eat the dck menu but sometimes it was just easier to let them make a sandwich and chips or something for lunch. I don't fight with them about it, that's for sure. I pick my battles and that's one I let them win most of the time. NOw dinner when all the kids are gone...that's another story.
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cheerfuldom 06:56 PM 12-06-2011
I think you should do whatever is easiest for YOU. If it is easier to have them all eat at lunch, stick by your rule and put all the snacks in an inaccessble area. your kids will not starve for waiting an hour.
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Meeko 08:26 PM 12-06-2011
Originally Posted by AmyLeigh:
I have an 8 yo, 5 yo, and 3 yo at home. The older 2 are homeschooled.
My son (5) is driving me crazy because he wants to eat different foods than I had planned, or different times than what is on schedule. I keep telling him that if he ate more of his lunch instead of running off to play, he wouldn't be hungry now. But he insists and goes to the snack cabinet. This has been happening a lot lately, so I think he is in a growth spurt and is genuinely hungry. But you all know how it is, if one kid has some cheerios or crackers, all of a sudden they all are STARVING. Forget the fact I have fresh baked zucchini bread waiting for snack time in one hour. Or a turkey in the oven for dinner. They will be given food soon.
I am on the Food Program, but don't qualify for my own children. It really doesn't matter if I give the daycare kids and my own children the same food at the same time, but it makes it sooooo much easier for everybody, namely me. I already have some issues with the Food Program, and this is just another example of how it is causing problems in my house.
Should I just let this go or insist that he follow the daycare food schedule?

The biggest thing that jumped out from your post were the words "he insists".

Please don't get me wrong...I am not trying to be snarky...but a 5 year old should never "insist" anything.

Tell him that you... and you alone... are in charge of the food and he will have to wait.
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themoorethemerrier 07:44 AM 12-07-2011
If my girls as me for something in between our meal times, I offer water.

It's tough because you know that some kids have small stomaches and high metabolism. But I would still stick with the dc meal schedule. When my 7 yo asks for snack, I tell her that when it's time I'll call her to help me get it ready. That curbs it. I'm not sure why.
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Michelle 09:44 AM 12-07-2011
also , set a timer for 15 minutes and tell him he will sit at the table until the timer goes off. He will have nothing to do but stare at his food and hopefully eat it all.
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laundrymom 11:14 AM 12-07-2011
I'm not going to be popular because I'm old school. With my kids, my personal children ~~ You eat what we eat when we eat or you don't eat. And when you choose to leave table at mealtime without eating you better count on NOT getting into my snack cabinet. I will pop your plate in the fridge and you can snack on that when we snack later. I don't HAVE to give you snack. I believe that if more children felt HUNGRY at meals they would be more prone to eating their meals. It's a huge pet peeve of mine for someone to say, oh she really doesn't eat meals, she snacks all day. Or if it's dinner time, a child eating their fruit, tossing the rest then after dinner asking for cheese or yogurt because they CHOOSE not to eat and they are hungry. I'm mean. I'm strict. And yes I've let my own children be hungry because of their choices. I really see a lot of children allowed to dictate when, where, and what they eat. That's ridiculous.

Now,... As far as eating what the day kids eat. Yes, if they sit at the daycare table, they eat what's on their plate. They always have the option of waiting and eating after the kids. But I never allow them to do it in front of them.

Originally Posted by AmyLeigh:
I have an 8 yo, 5 yo, and 3 yo at home. The older 2 are homeschooled.
My son (5) is driving me crazy because he wants to eat different foods than I had planned, or different times than what is on schedule. I keep telling him that if he ate more of his lunch instead of running off to play, he wouldn't be hungry now. But he insists and goes to the snack cabinet. This has been happening a lot lately, so I think he is in a growth spurt and is genuinely hungry. But you all know how it is, if one kid has some cheerios or crackers, all of a sudden they all are STARVING. Forget the fact I have fresh baked zucchini bread waiting for snack time in one hour. Or a turkey in the oven for dinner. They will be given food soon.
I am on the Food Program, but don't qualify for my own children. It really doesn't matter if I give the daycare kids and my own children the same food at the same time, but it makes it sooooo much easier for everybody, namely me. I already have some issues with the Food Program, and this is just another example of how it is causing problems in my house.
Should I just let this go or insist that he follow the daycare food schedule?

Reply
Meeko 11:38 AM 12-07-2011
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
I'm not going to be popular because I'm old school. With my kids, my personal children ~~ You eat what we eat when we eat or you don't eat. And when you choose to leave table at mealtime without eating you better count on NOT getting into my snack cabinet. I will pop your plate in the fridge and you can snack on that when we snack later. I don't HAVE to give you snack. I believe that if more children felt HUNGRY at meals they would be more prone to eating their meals. It's a huge pet peeve of mine for someone to say, oh she really doesn't eat meals, she snacks all day. Or if it's dinner time, a child eating their fruit, tossing the rest then after dinner asking for cheese or yogurt because they CHOOSE not to eat and they are hungry. I'm mean. I'm strict. And yes I've let my own children be hungry because of their choices. I really see a lot of children allowed to dictate when, where, and what they eat. That's ridiculous.

Now,... As far as eating what the day kids eat. Yes, if they sit at the daycare table, they eat what's on their plate. They always have the option of waiting and eating after the kids. But I never allow them to do it in front of them.
This!
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Solandia 12:07 PM 12-07-2011
Whoever is in the house eats what is served at snacktime or not at all. It won't kill them to miss a snack or not eat their 'favorite'. The littles cannot understand why one person gets a cookie snack pack, and they have to have raw veggies....I can put up with the whining of older kids, but a 15mo wants to have a cracker everytime he sees anyone eating....even if it is only 20minutes later. And eating at different times is not okay, because it means I will have to follow up behind to make sure the "unsanctioned snack-time" was completely picked up. Nothing more frustrating than fishing a gummy bear out of an 11mo's mouth, or hearing a 18mo playing with a 100calorie pack wrapper. Or a 2yo trying to stick an apple seed in his ear.

It is less hassle, for me, to let my older kids (12yo, 9yo) eat whenever & whatever....but it is unsafe for the little kids my care, because they cannot/willnot take responsiblity for cleanup. So they lost that privilege eons ago.
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AmyLeigh 01:27 PM 12-07-2011
Thank you all for responding.
After talking with dh about it, we have decided that it's not a discipline issue; he must be in a growth spurt. Most of the time he cleans his plate, then an hour later is asking for more food. He isn't picky, he is just very hungry and burns through food like a furnace. He literally eats at least 7 times a day. God help me when he becomes a teenager!
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laundrymom 06:44 PM 12-07-2011
Originally Posted by AmyLeigh:
Thank you all for responding.
After talking with dh about it, we have decided that it's not a discipline issue; he must be in a growth spurt. Most of the time he cleans his plate, then an hour later is asking for more food. He isn't picky, he is just very hungry and burns through food like a furnace. He literally eats at least 7 times a day. God help me when he becomes a teenager!
Lol. Then I suggest a large garden and a SAMs club card. Lolgood Luck. My son is 20 and working + full class load. He doesn't even taste food. Lol hes like a shop vac.
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Crazy8 06:55 PM 12-07-2011
Originally Posted by AmyLeigh:
Thank you all for responding.
After talking with dh about it, we have decided that it's not a discipline issue; he must be in a growth spurt. Most of the time he cleans his plate, then an hour later is asking for more food. He isn't picky, he is just very hungry and burns through food like a furnace. He literally eats at least 7 times a day. God help me when he becomes a teenager!
If it is true hunger than I would let him have a healthy snack (away from dck's) in between their meals. But you originally stated "I keep telling him that if he ate more of his lunch instead of running off to play, he wouldn't be hungry now. But he insists and goes to the snack cabinet". Which is different than what you are saying now. In those cases I would make him sit at the table at meal times, not run off to play. Same as I would do for the daycare kids. Just curious, what would you do if it was a daycare child, not your own? Would you feel it was a growth spurt or a discipline issue if it was one of them acting as your son is????
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AmyLeigh 09:20 PM 12-07-2011
Originally Posted by LittleDiamonds:
If it is true hunger than I would let him have a healthy snack (away from dck's) in between their meals. But you originally stated "I keep telling him that if he ate more of his lunch instead of running off to play, he wouldn't be hungry now. But he insists and goes to the snack cabinet". Which is different than what you are saying now. In those cases I would make him sit at the table at meal times, not run off to play. Same as I would do for the daycare kids. Just curious, what would you do if it was a daycare child, not your own? Would you feel it was a growth spurt or a discipline issue if it was one of them acting as your son is????
Good point. Fact of the matter is, I may go ahead and feed the daycare child if he/she was consistently asking for more food later. Maybe even more so because I don't know how much/what the child eats when not in my care.

Yes, I did say that I told him if he ate more of his lunch he wouldn't be as hungry that soon. I didn't say he didn't eat. I was getting frustrated only because I knew that the rest of the children would be bugging me for more food because they saw ds eat. Ds actually comes to me asking for food, dcc don't. If they see it, then they want to eat. When discussing it with dh, I realized that my frustration was more from me being inconvenienced than anything. That's not fair to any child.

Question: How long do you make the children sit at the table, then? Ten minutes, twenty, thirty? Til they clean their plates? I tend to let them listen to their bodies cues and they tell me when they are done. When the children say that they are finished eating, do you tell them that they still have to stay at the table?

I'm getting the feeling I am much more relaxed in my approach to children than most here. I treat my dcc as my own. We aren't strictly structured here. It's just one big happy family. And that's just how we like it.
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AmyLeigh 09:23 PM 12-07-2011
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
Lol. Then I suggest a large garden and a SAMs club card. Lolgood Luck. My son is 20 and working + full class load. He doesn't even taste food. Lol hes like a shop vac.
It's a family trait. When I was a teenager I could out-eat my 6 foot, 200 lb father after he worked a 12 hour shift at the tire factory. And I was about 110 lbs at the time.
Remember the kid in Breakfast Club with the HUGE lunch? That was how dh was as a teen! Lol.
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laundrymom 10:25 AM 12-08-2011
Here I keep everyone at the table until they are all done. I seat my slowest eater first, and fastest last. If they tell me they are finished I ask them. Do you want me to take your plate and give you a book or lacing card? Or do you want to keep your plate? They decide. But because of sight and sound we stay in the same room always.

Originally Posted by AmyLeigh:
Good point. Fact of the matter is, I may go ahead and feed the daycare child if he/she was consistently asking for more food later. Maybe even more so because I don't know how much/what the child eats when not in my care.

Yes, I did say that I told him if he ate more of his lunch he wouldn't be as hungry that soon. I didn't say he didn't eat. I was getting frustrated only because I knew that the rest of the children would be bugging me for more food because they saw ds eat. Ds actually comes to me asking for food, dcc don't. If they see it, then they want to eat. When discussing it with dh, I realized that my frustration was more from me being inconvenienced than anything. That's not fair to any child.

Question: How long do you make the children sit at the table, then? Ten minutes, twenty, thirty? Til they clean their plates? I tend to let them listen to their bodies cues and they tell me when they are done. When the children say that they are finished eating, do you tell them that they still have to stay at the table?

I'm getting the feeling I am much more relaxed in my approach to children than most here. I treat my dcc as my own. We aren't strictly structured here. It's just one big happy family. And that's just how we like it.

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Tags:difficult child, discipline - consistency, eating issues, provider - own child, provider children
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