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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Harsh Tone
mamamanda 04:02 AM 05-16-2018
I have a dcb who is 2 and a half, will be 3 in Sept. He is very harsh/aggressive in his tone of voice. He yells at other kids, argues with anyone who will engage with him, & cries often. He instigates situations like sitting on the top of the slide for example so no one can go down. Then when I insist he go down or move off or if another child raises their voice in protest or tries to give him a push to get him started he stands at the bottom of the slide screaming at whoever caused him to move. I make him sit out beside me telling him if he can't play nice with his friends then he can't play, but the harsh tone remains most of the time. Yesterday I was actually listening to his conversations thinking he'll say something nice anytime, but it was 3:00 before I heard him just talk w/o yelling, complaining, tattling, arguing, etc. How do I address the tone of voice/attitude? I try to model calm & gentle, but it doesn't seem to matter. He's very easily frustrated in general as well. Help!
Blackcat31 07:34 AM 05-16-2018
Originally Posted by mamamanda:
I have a dcb who is 2 and a half, will be 3 in Sept. He is very harsh/aggressive in his tone of voice. He yells at other kids, argues with anyone who will engage with him, & cries often. He instigates situations like sitting on the top of the slide for example so no one can go down. Then when I insist he go down or move off or if another child raises their voice in protest or tries to give him a push to get him started he stands at the bottom of the slide screaming at whoever caused him to move. I make him sit out beside me telling him if he can't play nice with his friends then he can't play, but the harsh tone remains most of the time. Yesterday I was actually listening to his conversations thinking he'll say something nice anytime, but it was 3:00 before I heard him just talk w/o yelling, complaining, tattling, arguing, etc. How do I address the tone of voice/attitude? I try to model calm & gentle, but it doesn't seem to matter. He's very easily frustrated in general as well. Help!
How do the other kids react to him? I have a dcb who is 2 and a half, will be 3 in Sept. He is very harsh/aggressive in his tone of voice. He yells at other kids, argues with anyone who will engage with him, & cries often. He instigates situations like sitting on the top of the slide for example so no one can go down. Then when I insist he go down or move off or if another child raises their voice in protest or tries to give him a push to get him started he stands at the bottom of the slide screaming at whoever caused him to move. I make him sit out beside me telling him if he can't play nice with his friends then he can't play, but the harsh tone remains most of the time. Yesterday I was actually listening to his conversations thinking he'll say something nice anytime, but it was 3:00 before I heard him just talk w/o yelling, complaining, tattling, arguing, etc. How do I address the tone of voice/attitude? I try to model calm & gentle, but it doesn't seem to matter. He's very easily frustrated in general as well. Help!
Sometimes I let natural consequences take center stage....I have a DCG turned 4 in Oct that is very immature. Talks really snotty and rude to the others. I tried at first to really talk with her about her tone and get her to understand how she sounds etc. TONS of lessons, practice and activities to help all the kids understand...... to no avail (for DCG anyways) so I just let the other kids react to her.
It's a rare day others WANT to play with her or choose her as their partner in a center or activity. She didn't seem to really care or notice at first but it's becoming clear to her now what is happening and I am seeing tiny flickers of attempts to talk nicer, be more accommodating and tolerant of "friends".
As for the slide thing.... I solved that issue since I viewed it as a danger/safety situation was to allow a child such as the one you are referring to 10 minutes ALONE with the slide. Slide all you want..sit on top and hang there all you want. After 10 minutes.... that child is done.
Slide is open to other children after 10 minutes.
It allows him time to play but shows him others don't want to play with him if his intent is just sit on the top so others can't use it.
It usually works within a day or two and the child that plays only so others can't suddenly understands.
mamamanda 08:38 AM 05-16-2018
Great suggestions! Thank you.
daycarediva 11:21 AM 05-16-2018
Model, as you already are. Praise the kids who speak nicely. For ME, what is helping my almost 4yo dcb is saying "Oh I can't understand those not nice words. Lets try asking for that toy from dcg nicely together."