New With a Question

[kiddosnme]

OH MY!!! I am so happy I found this forum!!!! My question for the day, and the reason I found this forum while googling my problem is what do you do when you have children in your care that refuse to pick up after themselves? I have two particular children one being 5 and the other being almost 3. neither will pick up, no matter what, they walk around and watch everyone else, trying to look like they are helping. It makes me want to scream, especially the 5 year old who goes to school and should know better. He claims he does not have to clean up at home, which I know to be true. I have discussed it with his dad and he pretty much shrugged it off, I guess he thinks this is my job, so I should do it. This same child also is a wanderer, we do not have a fenced in yard and I watch them like a hawk when they are outside, he usually is allowed to play out with out supervision. Where we live this is just not possible, I feel like a 5 year old still needs to be watched outside especially since we live in a pretty populated area. He told me yesterday that he hates it at my house. Well no wonder, when you get to do whatever you want at yours unsupervised. So my question I guess is what to do when he blatently ignores my requests to clean up, and should I be holding the 3 year olds to the same clean up standards as the 5 and up children? What do you expect during clean up time? I do have a shelving unit with different bins, everything is clearly labeled (even for the little ones) and every bin has a lid. Organization is not a problem.

[safechner]

If I have 5 years old and 3 years old in my daycare who refused to clean up with others. I would tell them it is time to clean up if they refused then I will give them warning. If they refused again then I will put them time out. That is only way you can do. They will clean up next time because they do not want to put in time out. That is what I did about two years ago. This is your home and the boys need to learn following your rules. If 5 year old tells you that he dont have to clean up at home and tell him well you dont have to clean at his house but he needs to clean up your house.

I have a 7 year old dcg hate it at my house too because I have rules and her mother don't. She is trying to bring the foods in my daughter's room and I am not allowed to it. Like I said it is your business and your rules.

[tmcp2001]

Welcome to the forum! You'll love it here!

I try to make clean up time fun for my bigger kids (8 and 6) - both of whom whine and complain every time (UGH)! I set a time for 5 or 10 minutes (depending on the mess to be cleaned up) and make it a race to beat the clock. The younger kids see it as a fun game and help too!

For the littler ones, I usually give them very specific instructions (put a toy in their hands and say, "Joey, put the block in the bucket."). I think they just get overwhelmed and don't really know what to do!

Hope that helps a little! Good luck!

[misol]

Originally Posted by kiddosnme

OH MY!!! I am so happy I found this forum!!!! My question for the day, and the reason I found this forum while googling my problem is what do you do when you have children in your care that refuse to pick up after themselves? I have two particular children one being 5 and the other being almost 3. neither will pick up, no matter what, they walk around and watch everyone else, trying to look like they are helping. It makes me want to scream, especially the 5 year old who goes to school and should know better. He claims he does not have to clean up at home, which I know to be true. I have discussed it with his dad and he pretty much shrugged it off, I guess he thinks this is my job, so I should do it. This same child also is a wanderer, we do not have a fenced in yard and I watch them like a hawk when they are outside, he usually is allowed to play out with out supervision. Where we live this is just not possible, I feel like a 5 year old still needs to be watched outside especially since we live in a pretty populated area. He told me yesterday that he hates it at my house. Well no wonder, when you get to do whatever you want at yours unsupervised. So my question I guess is what to do when he blatently ignores my requests to clean up, and should I be holding the 3 year olds to the same clean up standards as the 5 and up children? What do you expect during clean up time? I do have a shelving unit with different bins, everything is clearly labeled (even for the little ones) and every bin has a lid. Organization is not a problem.

Welcome to the forum. I was having the same issue a couple of months ago and things are starting to turn around. Check out this thread:

http://daycare.com/forum/showthread....ighlight=clean

I took the steps detailed in the post by nannyde in this thread. Things are not perfect yet but I have made tremendous progress using this method. Good luck!

[boysx5]

I have a six year old that is like that but she is only here for the summer so I am biting the bullet and just saying its not too much longer August is almost here. I feel like when you don't start off with them when they are younger its harder to mold them into your schedule and routine and rules

[Pammie]

What works for me is giving each child a specific type of toy that they're responsible for cleaning up. For example, "Suzie, it's your turn to clean up the books. Jack, your turn to clean up the blocks. Zach, your turn to clean up the cars. Etc My group prefers this, because they have caught on very quickly that some kids do just wander around and not help, and others always had to do more than their fair share.

It also helps if we have a favorite activity to transition to after clean-up time. Like going outside to play, play-doh time, lunch or snax....then as each child completes their responsibility they can get ready to move on to the next fun activity.

As far as playing outdoors unsupervised, I agree with you! 5 is much to young to be outdoors without direct supervision. Maybe in his own yard, but not yours.

Usually when kids say they "hate my house" it really translates into they "hate my rules" but I'm totally okay with that

[kiddosnme]

Thanks guys! I checked the other thread too, I do have a really organized play area, with bins and lids for each set of toys. I usually tell the kids you are responsible for your own bin, and are to pick it up before you can move on to something else. I have tried the time out method, but quickly realized that this is what they want, to sit out while everyone cleans up. We do clean up 3x once in the morning before snack and in the afternoon before lunch and then before they go home. I resorted yesterday to tell this particular child that he was not allowed to play with the toys any more for the day if he did not clean up. His reply was that he did not care, he was done playing for the day anyways. UGHH! I used to implement a rule with my kids that if I caught you not cleaning up you would have to clean the whole room while everyone else watched. Is this too harsh? It sure worked on mine, it would only take one or two times and they learn really quickly to clean up. Although Im not sure if that is appropriate for the DC children?

[TGT09]

Originally Posted by Pammie

What works for me is giving each child a specific type of toy that they're responsible for cleaning up. For example, "Suzie, it's your turn to clean up the books. Jack, your turn to clean up the blocks. Zach, your turn to clean up the cars. Etc My group prefers this, because they have caught on very quickly that some kids do just wander around and not help, and others always had to do more than their fair share.

It also helps if we have a favorite activity to transition to after clean-up time. Like going outside to play, play-doh time, lunch or snax....then as each child completes their responsibility they can get ready to move on to the next fun activity.

As far as playing outdoors unsupervised, I agree with you! 5 is much to young to be outdoors without direct supervision. Maybe in his own yard, but not yours.

Usually when kids say they "hate my house" it really translates into they "hate my rules" but I'm totally okay with that

I also give my dckids a certain area to clean or a certain kind of toy to pick up. I have a few that like to walk around but I think it's because they are overwhelmed....and I just keep reminding them what they are suppose to be doing while I point at the things they need to pick up. I do have a couple kids that are super cleaners (obviously they do at home). Clean-up is sometimes random at my house because I try to not let them get out all sorts of toys at one time. If 1 person plays with barbie's, then that 1 person needs to pick them up before they can move on to something else.

Edited to add: WELCOME to the board! It was a life saver when I found it too. I've gotten some great ideas and advice on here!

[kiddosnme]

oops! couldn't figure out the quotes. Sorry

[kiddosnme]

Originally Posted by kiddosnme

Originally Posted by Pammie
What works for me is giving each child a specific type of toy that they're responsible for cleaning up. For example, "Suzie, it's your turn to clean up the books. Jack, your turn to clean up the blocks. Zach, your turn to clean up the cars. Etc My group prefers this, because they have caught on very quickly that some kids do just wander around and not help, and others always had to do more than their fair share.

It also helps if we have a favorite activity to transition to after clean-up time. Like going outside to play, play-doh time, lunch or snax....then as each child completes their responsibility they can get ready to move on to the next fun activity.

As far as playing outdoors unsupervised, I agree with you! 5 is much to young to be outdoors without direct supervision. Maybe in his own yard, but not yours.

Usually when kids say they "hate my house" it really translates into they "hate my rules" but I'm totally okay with that

I am going to try that today. That way they won't be able to tell me that they didn't play with that, or so and so helped them play with it, so they need to help clean up. I think this might work with my own 3 year old son too, who is also having a bit of a problem at times, although the promise of lunch or playing in the sprinkler usually fixes that. He knows better then to talk back I don't really mind when they tell me they hate my house either, I pretty used to it

[Daycare Mommy]

If I notice someone not doing their share and just wandering I stop everyone else early and have that child finish up the cleaning while everyone else moves on to the next activity.

[TGT09]

Originally Posted by Daycare Mommy

If I notice someone not doing their share and just wandering I stop everyone else early and have that child finish up the cleaning while everyone else moves on to the next activity.

Ohhhh good idea too! I'm sure that kid will be sure to clean up next time!

[momofsix]

Alot of great ideas! We also ALWAYS sing the clean up song when cleaning up. For kids that are with me starting as babies, the parents say the kids sing it when they are at home too, and they clean up really well For kids that start later, and have already been trained that someone else is to clean up after them, it's a lot harder

[JenNJ]

Originally Posted by Daycare Mommy

If I notice someone not doing their share and just wandering I stop everyone else early and have that child finish up the cleaning while everyone else moves on to the next activity.

Same here.

[GretasLittleFriends]

Originally Posted by Daycare Mommy

If I notice someone not doing their share and just wandering I stop everyone else early and have that child finish up the cleaning while everyone else moves on to the next activity.

I do something similar... Say 'Bob' isn't helping, just wandering with one toy in his hand and not putting it away (and Bob will be starting 1st grade in the fall) I say, "Ok everybody, Bob was having so much fun watching the rest of us pick up, I think it would be lots of fun for us to watch Bob pick up the toys." I have the kids sit on the couch and we watch Bob finish picking up the Lincoln logs or whatever it was.

Of course, Bob complains about how it's unfair that he is picking up and nobody else is (mind you he only has a small portion left), and his peers explain that it was unfair to them when he didn't help.

We go through this about once maybe twice a month, and usually it's just Bob, though every once in a while it's 'George' (another going to be 1st grade boy.)

[kiddosnme]

Ok I tried giving them specific items to clean up, although the DC boy in question was not here today, so this also helped. My DS and DCG cleaned up wonderfully. YAY! They even helped with the playdough no problems! Now everyone is taking a nap Yay for nap time!!! I like that I gave them both specific items "You clean up the blocks, and you clean up the kitchen toys" They both knew what to do and only strayed a couple of times, I also told them the quicker they cleaned up they quicker we could play playdough! I think it helped to add a fun activity coming up next if they clean up, instead of just the promise of lunch. I think we will be outside most of the day after nap, so we will see how the outside clean up goes later

[professionalmom]

I had 2 brothers (ages 5 & 7) that would just keep playing instead of picking up toys after I told them it's time to pick up. I told them over and over. Finally one day, I quietly walked up to the gate to the playroom, saw them playing instead of cleaning, and stood there, waiting. When they saw me, I simply said, "boys, come here." When they got to the gate, I opened it, pulled out 2 chairs on opposite ends of the room and turned them to face the wall, then I simply told A to sit in this chair and B to sit in that chair. I set the timer for 3 minutes. If they smiled or turned their heads or started playing with their hands or feet, I told them "both feet on the floor, hands on your knees". I made it incredibly boring for them. But I did not say much. When the timer buzzed, I simply said in a very cheerful voice, "ok, boys let's try this again. Go clean the playroom." They started picking up toys, but were going slow, so I set the timer for 10 minutes. When I buzzed, they went back in time-out for another 4 minutes. Then they had 10 minutes to clean. If they were not done in that time, they got time out with 1 additional minute added on. This only took 1-2 days to reduce their clean-up time from 1.5 hours to under 20 minutes. The second day, I told them they had 30 minutes (initially) to clean, then the time-outs start. But the next week, they were picking up in under 15 minutes. It worked like a charm. I also saved craft time and the last snack until they were done. One day it only took 10 minutes! Oh, and I always had to inspect to ensure they weren't just throwing everything into the toy box. Everything had it's place and had to be in the correct place (within reason).

Another thing I tried that worked for a while was taking index cards and putting 1 job on each card (like Mega blocks, wood blocks, books), then they got to draw a card (face down) and do that job. When they finished their job, they would draw another card and keep going. When they were all done, the one with the most completed jobs got a special prize or treat.

It's all about incentives. Is it bribery? You bet. But that's how the world works. Adults go to their jobs because they are getting PAID MONEY to work. If it wasn't for the paycheck, most of us would love to just relax on a beach, play with our own kids, or enjoy or own hobbies more. It just teaches them about how the world really works.

[originalkat]

Originally Posted by Daycare Mommy

If I notice someone not doing their share and just wandering I stop everyone else early and have that child finish up the cleaning while everyone else moves on to the next activity.

I do that too. It works great!

[sahm2three]

Originally Posted by kiddosnme

OH MY!!! I am so happy I found this forum!!!! My question for the day, and the reason I found this forum while googling my problem is what do you do when you have children in your care that refuse to pick up after themselves? I have two particular children one being 5 and the other being almost 3. neither will pick up, no matter what, they walk around and watch everyone else, trying to look like they are helping. It makes me want to scream, especially the 5 year old who goes to school and should know better. He claims he does not have to clean up at home, which I know to be true. I have discussed it with his dad and he pretty much shrugged it off, I guess he thinks this is my job, so I should do it. This same child also is a wanderer, we do not have a fenced in yard and I watch them like a hawk when they are outside, he usually is allowed to play out with out supervision. Where we live this is just not possible, I feel like a 5 year old still needs to be watched outside especially since we live in a pretty populated area. He told me yesterday that he hates it at my house. Well no wonder, when you get to do whatever you want at yours unsupervised. So my question I guess is what to do when he blatently ignores my requests to clean up, and should I be holding the 3 year olds to the same clean up standards as the 5 and up children? What do you expect during clean up time? I do have a shelving unit with different bins, everything is clearly labeled (even for the little ones) and every bin has a lid. Organization is not a problem.

I say let the other kids sit and watch THEM clean up one day! Or tell them they are not allowed to play with toys since they choose not to clean up. I have a few like this too, but they are younger and as long as I stay on top of them.