Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>So I Grew A Backbone Yesterday...
ddnanny13 11:58 AM 10-27-2010
I have this one DCM who is constantly leaving DCG here when she is not at work. She isn't a student, has no extra curricular stuff, etc. She is here on avg 60 per week and mom only works 10 min from here. On Monday we had to get 4 yr old DCB from school @ 2 as we always do (my parents all know this). DCG was supposed to be picked up at noon (mom has an odd work schedule that generously work around) and mom still wasn't there at 10min til 2. Wound up pulling in as we were leaving. Handed her DCG, took the cash and drove away. Told her Tuesday that since her late pickup caused me to be late to pick up at school that I would have to start enforcing late fees. So Tuesday morning she calls me right after she dropped off and said I forgot to tell you that I have to work until 6:30 tonight (normally would have been 5) so I will pick her up when I'm done. Of course she didn't bother to ask if I have plans or anything, which I did. She has done this to me before and I have never charged her so I finally got the courage yesterday. Told her my late fee as it is stated in her contract and it totaled $75. She said "OMG I can't afford that! That is insane!" Needless to say DCG was picked up on time. So now mom is really giving me the cold shoulder. Those of you who have had angry moms before.. how long did the grudge hold? I'm worried this mom is going to stay mad forever....was I out of line?
AfterSchoolMom 12:02 PM 10-27-2010
She expected you to work an extra hour and a half with no notice? No, I don't think you were out of line at all. What's your contract say about overtime?
I've had a PO'ed parent a couple of times - in one case they were mad for a couple of days and everything went back to normal. In another case (when I changed my hours to close a half hour earlier), DCM was so angry that she terminated. Fine with me, it was a problem kid anyway!
I've had a PO'ed parent a couple of times - in one case they were mad for a couple of days and everything went back to normal. In another case (when I changed my hours to close a half hour earlier), DCM was so angry that she terminated. Fine with me, it was a problem kid anyway!
Blackcat31 12:08 PM 10-27-2010
Sounds like she is mad because you made her follow a rule that you have been letting her get away with for a while. (Sorry, I guess I'd be mad too.) 
I think it is important to stick to the rules and not make exceptions or this sort of stuff happens. Obviously there are exceptions to all rules, but if you have been flexible in her favor and the flexibility hasn't gone both ways, I'd work on geting a thicker skin along with your backbone! She will get over it and if she doesn't well her loss...you obviously have a BIG heart
and try to help out parents when you can, but after you get taken advantage of a few times, you start to see who is really working with you and who is not.
I think it is important to stick to the rules and not make exceptions or this sort of stuff happens. Obviously there are exceptions to all rules, but if you have been flexible in her favor and the flexibility hasn't gone both ways, I'd work on geting a thicker skin along with your backbone! She will get over it and if she doesn't well her loss...you obviously have a BIG heart
and try to help out parents when you can, but after you get taken advantage of a few times, you start to see who is really working with you and who is not.
DCMomOf3 12:10 PM 10-27-2010
I think you did the right thing. I have had parents once get mad at me for somthing that wasn't sound. I put on a happy face and treated the parents as I always do and they took my cue and did the same. I was frustrated for a while but let it pass. I am sure it was the same with them.
Just act like you always do, professionaly, and hopefully they will too.
Just act like you always do, professionaly, and hopefully they will too.
missnikki 02:05 PM 10-27-2010
I agree, she's mad that you are enforcing something that you didn't enforce before. She probably thinks you are being petty for 'worrying about it all of a sudden'.
When I have imposed a late fee, it is awkward to say the least- but when a parent does something that disrespects you and your program, then leaves you to worry about it and almost 'challenges' you to do something about it by doing it over and over...then awkward is the least of my worries at that point. I tend to nip it and move on, keep professional and stay smiling. That's what policies are for- to point at and keep the peace.
When I have imposed a late fee, it is awkward to say the least- but when a parent does something that disrespects you and your program, then leaves you to worry about it and almost 'challenges' you to do something about it by doing it over and over...then awkward is the least of my worries at that point. I tend to nip it and move on, keep professional and stay smiling. That's what policies are for- to point at and keep the peace.
MarinaVanessa 03:32 PM 10-27-2010
This is so true. I know that alot of us are willing to turn a blind eye for some things if it's a once in a long while thing but when it happens more frequently, when they expect us to be okay with it, they don't appreciate what we do for them or they take advantage of the situation and we finally put our foot down and enforce a policy that should have been followed in the first place then they get all butt-hurt and upset 
.
I have a policy that says that if they are late in picking up their child then it's $5 for every 15 minutes (or part of), if they call me in advance and something has come up (and I'm not talking about a lame excuse or if they do it often) and need their child to stay an hour or so after and they "ASK" me as in, they don't just call me and expect me to be ok with it, then I may just charge them a $5 per hour (or part of) like a drop-in instead. You know some parent's just don't think about what a difference being nice and asking makes.
.I have a policy that says that if they are late in picking up their child then it's $5 for every 15 minutes (or part of), if they call me in advance and something has come up (and I'm not talking about a lame excuse or if they do it often) and need their child to stay an hour or so after and they "ASK" me as in, they don't just call me and expect me to be ok with it, then I may just charge them a $5 per hour (or part of) like a drop-in instead. You know some parent's just don't think about what a difference being nice and asking makes.
My Daycare 06:47 PM 10-27-2010
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
This is so true. I know that alot of us are willing to turn a blind eye for some things if it's a once in a long while thing but when it happens more frequently, when they expect us to be okay with it, they don't appreciate what we do for them or they take advantage of the situation and we finally put our foot down and enforce a policy that should have been followed in the first place then they get all butt-hurt and upset.
I have a policy that says that if they are late in picking up their child then it's $5 for every 15 minutes (or part of), if they call me in advance and something has come up (and I'm not talking about a lame excuse or if they do it often) and need their child to stay an hour or so after and they "ASK" me as in, they don't just call me and expect me to be ok with it, then I may just charge them a $5 per hour (or part of) like a drop-in instead. You know some parent's just don't think about what a difference being nice and asking makes.
Asking makes a world of difference for me too. Even with my children. Some people really need to learn how to get what they want. Taking what one wants will rarely work.This is so true. I know that alot of us are willing to turn a blind eye for some things if it's a once in a long while thing but when it happens more frequently, when they expect us to be okay with it, they don't appreciate what we do for them or they take advantage of the situation and we finally put our foot down and enforce a policy that should have been followed in the first place then they get all butt-hurt and upset
.I have a policy that says that if they are late in picking up their child then it's $5 for every 15 minutes (or part of), if they call me in advance and something has come up (and I'm not talking about a lame excuse or if they do it often) and need their child to stay an hour or so after and they "ASK" me as in, they don't just call me and expect me to be ok with it, then I may just charge them a $5 per hour (or part of) like a drop-in instead. You know some parent's just don't think about what a difference being nice and asking makes.
Great Job OP!
momma2girls 06:24 AM 10-28-2010
I have 2 parents who are teachers, and began to tell me that they had to go into work an hr. early for meetings- they told me I had to open up early for them, didn't ask or anything- I changed my contract, because of this situation as well. I have it worded, if you would like for me to open up earlier for you- this must be asked, and agreed upon, and there is an extra fee for this- $5.00 per hr. or anything under this- this will be implemented from now on!!
AfterSchoolMom 06:27 AM 10-28-2010
I'd charge more than 5 per hour for early openings. I adore my sleep and it would really have to be worth my while. 
ddnanny13 07:57 AM 10-28-2010
ASKing makes a world of difference. If she had said, do you mind, or would it be okay, or something I might have had a entirely different opinion on the subject. What happened to good old fashion manners??? She is still being a crab towards me and my hubby at work but dcg has been picked up on time since so hopefully she got the point.
momma2girls 08:01 AM 10-28-2010
Originally Posted by AfterSchoolMom:
I'd charge more than 5 per hour for early openings. I adore my sleep and it would really have to be worth my while.
I agree, that is what I have in there, but next yr. starting in Jan. it is going up to $10.00 per hr. or anytime before contracted time.I'd charge more than 5 per hour for early openings. I adore my sleep and it would really have to be worth my while.
momma2girls 08:02 AM 10-28-2010
Originally Posted by ddnanny13:
ASKing makes a world of difference. If she had said, do you mind, or would it be okay, or something I might have had a entirely different opinion on the subject. What happened to good old fashion manners??? She is still being a crab towards me and my hubby at work but dcg has been picked up on time since so hopefully she got the point.
I wonder the same thing all the time!!!ASKing makes a world of difference. If she had said, do you mind, or would it be okay, or something I might have had a entirely different opinion on the subject. What happened to good old fashion manners??? She is still being a crab towards me and my hubby at work but dcg has been picked up on time since so hopefully she got the point.