Rant Regarding A Challenging DCP... WWYD?

[littlemonkeys]

I posted a thread before I became a member regarding a dcb that was diagnosed with RSV. She was out for a week when the father called and said she’d be out for another week because she was still not cleared from the Dr. During that conversation he also asked me if I would give them half credit for each week that she has missed even though my contract reads, "Payment is expected for each day regardless of illness or should you decide to keep your child home with you on a certain day". That’s when I turned to you for advice.

I’m a huge softy, but like I said in the earlier thread this dcm has challenged my contract on numerous occasions and I have also given them tons of breaks. Plus, she’s a teacher and will take her child out of my dc for the Summer and I only require her to pay in full for the returning month in advance to hold her spot (non-refundable of course).

So yesterday I get a call from dcm telling me that her husband is starting to get in trouble for missing so much work to care for their ill child. I listened and started feeling bad for them until she said, “PLUS, when we asked you to give us half credit for each week she missed you wouldn’t work with us”. I explained to her that the tuition payment reserves her DD's spot in my dc. I also told her that I consulted with many dc providers (all of you and other dc providers in my neighborhood) and most of them have the same policy as I do. I also told her that a few dc providers told me that if for any reason there is an unforeseen illness the first two weeks would be paid in FULL and each remaining week that the child is out due to the illness would be paid at a half rate. I told her that I was in the process of re-writing that portion of my contract and if she had called me to tell me her child would be out a third week, I was prepared to give them half credit for the remainder weeks of her illness up to a 12 week period. She replied with “Well, I don’t see how that helps us since my child is only out for 2 weeks” and then said that she contacted dc’s around her house and they would’ve given the credit. I just said I’m sorry, but this is my business and these are my policies and this is how I run my business; I was about to say, but didn’t “then find a new dc”. After I said that, she told me, “I know that you are inexperienced and don’t have a lot of knowledge with this whole dc thing”, I stopped her right there and said, “excuse me, I have been doing daycare as a business for a little over a year now and I have plenty experience being a dc parent myself when I took my older children (ages 14 and 11) to dc. I have also dealt with similar dc policies when my own children had the chicken pox.” She had nothing further to say other than for me to expect her DD in the morning.

Can you believe this? Am I just throwing this out of proportion or does this dcm have issues? WWYD if you were in this situation?

Sorry this is such a long rant, but I would appreciate any sort of feedback you can offer.

Thank you in advance!!

[lil angels]

If you told her this is how it is then stick to it if she thought it was that bad she would have left. I charge full rates except when mom is on maternity leave or if a parent gets laid off. Then I will do half rates for 6 weeks sometimes a little longer if I know when they will go back. She was just playing you to get you to cave or she would have called with her notice.

[SilverSabre25]

She has issues. That's my opinion anyway.

You told her the policy, you told her that you had consulted with other providers, you even told her that you were putting in place a new policy to cover extended absences and that if dcg had been out for a third week you were prepared to put that policy into effect for them.

I think your response was perfect (right down to biting your tongue on the 'find a new dc' part, but I would have been tempted to say that too!). It sounds like she was trying to bully you/shame you/guilt you into going ahead and giving the credit anyway, and when you stood your ground, she ran out of ammunition and hurried off the phone.

And why couldn't she and DH have split the time off to care for the ill child?

[JenNJ]

I would have a termination notice in hand when she dropped off in the morning. She feels entitled to "breaks" and is mad because she doesn't like to hear the word NO.

So bye bye disrespectful dcmom, have a nice time finding a daycare that will put up with a nasty attitude and an ill child.

[MyAngels]

I would say "I'm sorry that you feel that you are being mistreated. You should definitely call and set up an interview with the providers whose policies are more to your liking. Do remember, however, that I have a two week paid notice period. Have a nice evening." But that's just me .

[littlemonkeys]

Originally Posted by SilverSabre25

She has issues. That's my opinion anyway.

You told her the policy, you told her that you had consulted with other providers, you even told her that you were putting in place a new policy to cover extended absences and that if dcg had been out for a third week you were prepared to put that policy into effect for them.

I think your response was perfect (right down to biting your tongue on the 'find a new dc' part, but I would have been tempted to say that too!). It sounds like she was trying to bully you/shame you/guilt you into going ahead and giving the credit anyway, and when you stood your ground, she ran out of ammunition and hurried off the phone.

And why couldn't she and DH have split the time off to care for the ill child?

They actually did split the time between her, her husband and grandparents. That's why i was surprised that he would get into so much trouble.

[littlemonkeys]

Thank you for the responses thus far. I was starting to beat myself up about being too hard on them.

[littlemonkeys]

Originally Posted by JenNJ

I would have a termination notice in hand when she dropped off in the morning. She feels entitled to "breaks" and is mad because she doesn't like to hear the word NO.

So bye bye disrespectful dcmom, have a nice time finding a daycare that will put up with a nasty attitude and an ill child.

I so wish I I could. I think I need to post a new CL add since I'm full right now and try to get a replacement and then term her. I'm afraid that she is going to be a legal liability.

Originally Posted by MyAngels

I would say "I'm sorry that you feel that you are being mistreated. You should definitely call and set up an interview with the providers whose policies are more to your liking. Do remember, however, that I have a two week paid notice period. Have a nice evening." But that's just me .

I so should have said this!!

[SandeeAR]

Originally Posted by littlemonkeys

I so should have said this!!

You can still say it. Tell her you were thinking about what she said last night and want to be fair with her so...........then roll right into it!

[littlemonkeys]

Originally Posted by SandeeAR

You can still say it. Tell her you were thinking about what she said last night and want to be fair with her so...........then roll right into it!

I would, but I am so worried because she is the type of mom that would make up things to report to licensing.

[cillybean83]

I would have my termination notice taped to the door so I wouldn't even have to be bothered with speaking to her. I don't trust dcp's who act that way and talk down to me, we have a little bit of a tiff, then they want to bring dck back, I'm afraid they'll do or say something to "get back" at me for not giving them what they want...i guess i have trust issues but better to be safe than sorry!

[cillybean83]

i wouldn't worry about what she said to licensing, they weren't born yesterday and they will question why someone waited til AFTER they were termed to report something..

[DCMomOf3]

I think you responded appropriately. I would try to get past it but be prepared to term the next time something happens. Maybe she will interview others anyway and will leave on her own?

[MyAngels]

Originally Posted by littlemonkeys

I would, but I am so worried because she is the type of mom that would make up things to report to licensing.

You really should not be afraid of this. Our licensing reps have seen it all and have dealt with miffed daycare parents before. As long as you document everything in writing you should not have a problem. If you are really concerned about it you could give your licensing rep a call with your concerns so that they will have a heads up.

[MarinaVanessa]

Originally Posted by littlemonkeys

I would, but I am so worried because she is the type of mom that would make up things to report to licensing.

Don't worry about it. Do what you said before and post ads and start interviewing for a replacement if that's what you want to do. If you find somone that's interested just let them know that you have a family leaving in 2-weeks minimum and that they can start then. Have them give you a deffinite start date and sign all of the paperwork and have them pay a deposit/first week's tution etc. just to make sure that you will deffinetely have a replacement, then go ahead and term the other DCM. If you feel that she might make a false report to licensing about you then right before you give her the 2-week notice you can call licensing yourself and report to them that you have been having issues about her and quickly explain a little and then just be honest and say that you think she may willing to retaliate because you are letting her go. They'll understand. I had to do this because of another DCM that apparently had a pattern of doing this.

I think it's insulting and disrespectful when DCP's talk to provider's like we don't know what we're doing. If she thought that you were inexperienced then she wouldn't have signed up with you OR she thought you were inexperienced and could probably bend you to her will. If she really had an issue with your policies she wouldn't have signed them.