I have been needing to tell DCM for weeks now that I will not be able to take her new baby in the fall when she returns to work.

I had promised to take the baby while she was still pregnant and I hadn't even started her other 2 kids yet. (Stupid, stupid stupid on my part!)

She sent me a facebook asking if I could take the kids Thursday instead of Wednesday this week and I replied that I could not because we have an outing planned and also I will not be able to take the baby in the fall, possibly not even her 3 year old DS and told her why.

She seen the message but has not replied to it.

I don't feel like I owe her anything really because there was no deposit made and the agreement to take on her new DD was verbal but to tell her all this on facebook!!? I feel so unprofessional right now.

It has been a really tough year....

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If that's how you have been communicating, I don't think it's unprofessional at all.

I have known for two weeks I can't (don't want to) accommodate a family for mid-July that I said I would/could (pt kids picked up the days) but I have been too chicken to email her. I need a drama free week!

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I do the same thing! I hate the drama of terming or having to change my mind about a family...it stresses me out soooo bad! That's why I sent off that message so quick like that this morning, I just wanted to say it and get it over with LOL I really wish she would just reply back though so I can read her angry message and move on. I have to see her on wednesday too...ugh.

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I had a baby I was going to take, but then decided the wacky hours weren't worth it. The only contact I had was forvFacebook so that's how I let them know. They saw the message, but didn't reply, either.

We're still "friends " on FB so I guess she wasn't too mad.

You probably should have let her know when you decided not to take them, but it is what it is. She'll get over it

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I would call her immediately and apologize for putting it on facebook. I would probably say "Hope you're not upset that I put it on facebook. I don't know what I was thinking but I won't be able to watch...blah blah blah. That wasn't the best way to communicate, sorry." It could be that she won't even care but if she does at least you got to her first with an apology. That is how I would handle it.

Laurel

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.............
Like pulling off the band aid quickly!

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Eh, as long as it wasn't a PUBLIC message, I think you are fine. That is clearly how she has been communicating with you, so using that method to communicate back I don't think is a big deal. The messenger is basically an email server at this point, and I wouldn't think it far from email. If you wanted to send a follow up for her to call you if she wants to discuss it more, you could (but I wouldn't want her to call )

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I was going to say the same thing.

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I don't think it's a huge deal. She obviously prefers to use Facebook as her e-mail account (I always find that so weird...) so you sent an "e-mail" back.

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Using fb messaging is just like emailing, so if its something you would have done via email no big deal. Many people just don't like talking anymore - they rather get the text, email, fb message, etc. so I wouldn't say its unprofessional if that is how she initiates communication with you.

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This is me. Like op I had a verbal agreement with a current DCM to take on the new baby early next Spring. I'm interviewing preschoolers for my open spots and counting it as 2 spots because if I get 2 more preschoolers I have no babies/toddlers and will term her. I have known this was my intent for a few weeks and haven't brought myself to tell her (mostly cause I love her DCG) I don't like tiny babies, what was I thinking We all say things without thinking sometimes, I think a lot of DCPs are all people-pleasers until they have been in it for a while.

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