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Old 01-16-2013, 07:58 AM
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Default 19 Month Old

What is normal behavior/ development for a 19 month old child?
I have a 19 month old in my care that doesn’t seem to be advancing! She barely uses a fork or spoon. When given one of the other to eat she sits there and just holds it. If eating something like mashed potatoes, she doesn’t scoop she just taps it and brings whatever sticks to her mouth. I have sat with her for a couple weeks working with her on it, but she would rather I do it for her then actually take the time and effort to do it herself. Another thing, when dcp drops her off she goes and sits in front of the TV right away (yes, it is on in the morning before breakfast for about an hour). She doesn’t bother to play with anyone or any of the toys that are out. After breakfast, she will go right back to that spot and just sit there. She doesn’t play with anyone or any toys, unless one of the other dck brings them to her! I had a 22 month old actually bring a bunch of blocks and stack them right in front of the 19 month old and then physically take her hand and try to show her how to put them on the stack!

I have tried to talk to dcp about the things that I am seeing, and I get the “well, the other kids are just more advanced.” This child will actually sleep all day if you let her too! When she was in a playpen she would actually lay in there all day…until you actually came and got her! She would never bother standing up and crying to get out, completely content in there. Same thing is happening now that she is on a mat as well, just lays there. She will take a 3 to 3-1/2hr nap and that is only because I finally go in and wake her up!!

I don’t know what to do anymore. Do I really have to high of expectation for this child??
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Old 01-16-2013, 08:12 AM
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:34 AM
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sounds like this behavior IS normal....for this little girl. she clearly is still spoon fed, watches a lot of TV and totally fine with waiting to be entertained. unless she is being disruptive in some way, I wouldnt say anything further to the parents. you just have to find a way to work around it. I wouldnt spoon fed a 19 month old. I require parents to provide food that their child can handle. Then I put it out and if a kid this old cannot or will not self feed, then the lunch goes in the trash at the end of lunch time. I wouldnt worry about her not playing. As long as she is not causing a problem, I would just leave her sitting and go on with my day. It sounds like these issues are a product of her home life and if the parents dont care to change it, I wouldnt go out of my way to try and make it happen either.
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:43 AM
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my sister has a friend who had a baby. Well they would go over and the child would just be sitting in a bouncy seat infront of the tv. Really no one every socialized with the child. The slightest noise and they would either feed the child or put her to bed. She spent alot of time sleeping. So now the child is roughly the age of your dck, and she is the same. You ever hear of "children should be seen not heard" thats exactly it. She doesn't solicalize or do anything, its like she is bump on a log (my sister said that she is so good, well ya, because she doesn't do anything)
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Old 01-16-2013, 11:48 AM
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The feeding herself part might not be too far off, but the rest is not typical. It does sound like she has been socialized by the tv. Something is not right.
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Old 01-16-2013, 11:59 AM
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I think so many kids today don't seem to be doing age appropriate things. I was mentioning a 32 mo old dcb in my thread here that doesn't seem to be with it. He just started talking to where I can understand him. He just seems kinda lost. Walks around the train table around and around carrying 1 toy when it's time for pickup. Has no clue where to put it until I help him. Does not answer yes/no questions half the time appropriately etc. I don't think that the parents use the tv in excess, so I don't know what the deal is. I just keep having him do things for himself. Maybe that is the key with your dcg. If she isn't made to do it for herself at home, maybe if she does it at your house it will help. OH, I also have a 20 mo dcb that sits with his plate of food and will stare at it unti I come to help him. I dont' feed him, but I will hold his hand with the utensil showing him how to eat. Apparently he doesn't do it for himself anywhere else. My hope is if I help him, it will click.
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Old 01-16-2013, 12:22 PM
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ABCDaycareMN ABCDaycareMN is offline
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I guess I don't find that normal for a 19m old. I have a 15m old that feeds herself and has done so since she was 10m. Fork and all. She eats cereal with milk with a spoon.

She cleans up her own messes toys, garbage. Follows simple directions. Mimicking sounds to words. Already learning and saying colors.

But the difference is she is my 2nd child and I have been home with her since birth.

Is the 19m old an only child?
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Old 01-16-2013, 01:14 PM
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I don't think this is normal. She is a product of her upbringing. From what I can tell, she doesn't get a lot of interaction and the chance to be independent at home.

I have a 13 month old DCG and she feeds herself. Sometimes I'll put her plate in front of her and forget her fork/spoon. When I go back to get it, she'll happily dig in with her hands in the meantime. She can follow basic instructions, knows how to clean up after herself and goes holy bananas when she sees blocks.

Maybe when she gets used to the routine there it'll encourage her to follow along. Some children aren't taught at home. Sometimes, we are the ones to provide instruction, curriculum, and have the patience to teach children how to become more independent. We are the enlightenment in these children's lives.

I suddenly feel like purchasing a Superman cape.
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Old 01-16-2013, 01:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ABCDaycareMN View Post
But the difference is she is my 2nd child and I have been home with her since birth.

Is the 19m old an only child?
The 22 month old is mine, and also the 2nd child that I have been home with since birth as well.

The 19m old is an only child. Who I have been told before has a TV in her room and still sleeps in a crib. She also doesn't go to bed until 10-11pm at night either and is here at 730 each morning. Wonder why she doesn't want to get up from nap after sleeping for 3-1/2hrs!

I have had the 19m old in my care since she was 6wk old. I honestly feel as though I am raising the kid! This summer her parents were still cutting things up into tiny pieces for her to eat. When at daycare, she was eating sandwiches and burgers cut in wedges just fine.

Last edited by Blackcat31; 01-21-2013 at 02:19 PM.
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Old 01-16-2013, 02:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GeorgiaPeach View Post
The 19m old is an only child. Who I have been told before has a TV in her room and still sleeps in a crib. She also doesn't go to bed until 10-11pm at night either and is here at 730 each morning.
I have a 32mo dcb still sleeping in his crib, drinking from a sippy cup, helped with soup/spoon and finger foods instead of fork.


Mom didn't want to sign the permission slip for him to nap on a mat, because 'He won't possibly sleep on it! What if he gets up?' etc... took a LOT of convincing. He is also my longest napper because 'he chooses when he goes to bed' Mom said "he knows his body and will let us know when he gets sleepy" Dad translated it to "Dcb runs around until he drops and then we transfer him to the crib".


I say, do as much to help her self help skills as possible while she is in your care but realize that due to her parents parenting style, she will develop slower than the other kids. This will also continue on most likely into other things.

Last edited by Blackcat31; 01-21-2013 at 02:21 PM.
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