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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Felt A Little Like I Was On Candid Camera
Heidi 01:28 PM 04-23-2013
Ok, really not trying to judge people, but I was in Walmart Saturday. The woman behind me had a 4 ish year old with her.

I glanced at what she was loading on the belt, then my 15 dd made eye-contact with me like .

First I noticed the "uncrustables" yeck...ok, whatever.
Then I noticed everything else:
poptarts
gogurts
cheese nips
chips
frozen chicken sandwiches
frozen bagel pizzas
frozen waffles
those cheese-and-cracker things
more frozen "entrees"...the kids meals ones
chicken nuggets
cookies
more crackers
candy
more candy
juice boxes....the "fruit punch" kind, of course
soda
much more along those lines. A cart full of chemicals in bright packages, pretty much.

There was not one fruit, one vegie (fresh or frozen), no milk, no meat (except the meat-like substance in the frozen foods). There was no REAL food at all!

I wanted to ask "Are you trying to poison your kid?"

But I didn't...I DID have a box of cheese nips in my cart...lol

I could not bear to stay and watch to see if she paid with her food-stamp card...
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Oneluckymom 02:00 PM 04-23-2013
This is "normal" for many families today. Many of whom are totally lost as to what normal meals should be or look like. Sad.
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Heidi 02:05 PM 04-23-2013
ok, maybe candid camera was exagerated...but it was hundreds of dollars of crap..
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Play Care 02:09 PM 04-23-2013
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Ok, really not trying to judge people, but I was in Walmart Saturday. The woman behind me had a 4 ish year old with her.

I glanced at what she was loading on the belt, then my 15 dd made eye-contact with me like .

First I noticed the "uncrustables" yeck...ok, whatever.
Then I noticed everything else:
poptarts
gogurts
cheese nips
chips
frozen chicken sandwiches
frozen bagel pizzas
frozen waffles
those cheese-and-cracker things
more frozen "entrees"...the kids meals ones
chicken nuggets
cookies
more crackers
candy
more candy
juice boxes....the "fruit punch" kind, of course
soda
much more along those lines. A cart full of chemicals in bright packages, pretty much.

There was not one fruit, one vegie (fresh or frozen), no milk, no meat (except the meat-like substance in the frozen foods). There was no REAL food at all!

I wanted to ask "Are you trying to poison your kid?"

But I didn't...I DID have a box of cheese nips in my cart...lol

I could not bear to stay and watch to see if she paid with her food-stamp card...
I did crack up a little reading this. A few months ago we took a vacation to Disney world. We were flying in, using Disney transportation the whole time and not able to drive off property. So rather than be held hostage by Disney prices, I went shopping at home and filled one large suit case with boxed convenience foods that could be heated with water (I smuggled in a hot pot too) no fresh fruits, no liquid milk, no meat, etc. I also filled my cart with special snack foods like Smart Food popcorn, chips, etc. because its a vacation, right?
The entire time I was shopping I was hoping no one was looking in my cart or that I wouldn't run into my dc families.
Even though it was much cheaper the eating out at Disney I was still surprised at how much my bill was that day- we rarely buy those kinds of foods and they are pricey.
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Evansmom 02:14 PM 04-23-2013
I had a DCK who's family ate like this. The DCM was so proud about the fact that she had no idea how to cook.

Poor DCG always had a vacant stare on her face and she was a total sweetie but man, not all the lights were on upstairs! I always thought it had to have something to do with her diet. How can you live on non-food?!
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e.j. 02:20 PM 04-23-2013
Originally Posted by Heidi:
There was not one fruit, one vegie (fresh or frozen), no milk, no meat (except the meat-like substance in the frozen foods). There was no REAL food at all!
I hear what you're saying about all the junk food but feel the need to point out that she may purchase the fruit, veggies, milk and meat at another store. I don't like the quality of produce at my local Walmart so I buy it somewhere else. The milk is cheaper at another store and I usually buy meat in bulk at a wholesale store. I've often wondered what the people behind me think when I walk out of Walmart with groceries but no fruits and veggies.
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snbauser 02:50 PM 04-23-2013
Originally Posted by e.j.:
I hear what you're saying about all the junk food but feel the need to point out that she may purchase the fruit, veggies, milk and meat at another store. I don't like the quality of produce at my local Walmart so I buy it somewhere else. The milk is cheaper at another store and I usually buy meat in bulk at a wholesale store. I've often wondered what the people behind me think when I walk out of Walmart with groceries but no fruits and veggies.
I'm the same way. My walmart shopping is typically a "fill in the holes" trip. I do a lot of shopping at Costco for milk, produce, and meats.
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Cradle2crayons 03:00 PM 04-23-2013
Same here, I get my meat at the local mom and pop up town, my regular stuff at Walmart, and my produce at Kroger. But you still won't see all of that in my buggy other than the bagel bites and pop tarts... All my kids get those for treats sometimes.
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LaLa1923 03:58 PM 04-23-2013
I will be the odd ball here, I do buy some of those things you listed. Times have changed and it's all about convenience foods. I do try and balance things out, it's a work in progress......
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daycarediva 04:51 PM 04-23-2013
I use Walmart for filler foods-oatmeal, cereal, whole wheat pasta, brown rice, that sort of thing. I rarely buy milk, produce or meat there.

I have never purchased 99% of the things on your list.


I see people like that all the time here, my dh won't even go into Walmart because he can't stand how terribly people eat. Once we saw a similar cart, and the woman was buying a months worth of slim fast & lean cuisine. I just wanted to honestly, lovingly pull her aside and tell her that she can eat cheaper, healthier and lose weight without buying 90% of what she was.

Most of it is just convenience, lack of education and 'this is what's easy' mentality.

I have a dck who eats like that at home, and he is already overweight at 3, he didn't know what an APPLE was a year ago, and now he is my best eater, even if he does come with cheeto stains on his hands every morning.
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hope 05:23 PM 04-23-2013
A new dcb I have started last week. In my kitchen I have a huge bowl of fruit. Dcb had never eaten a real orange by the age of 5!!!!! He asked what the "round thing" was on my counter.....a melon? He is so excited to try all these new foods. Boogles my mind.
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JenNJ 07:30 PM 04-23-2013
I think its pretty rude of you to judge someone knowing nothing about them. And to throw in the food stamp comment is just really disgusting. How does their economic status have anything to do with poor food choices. I know families on food assistance who eat welland well off familes who eat McD's every night.

When I shop at Wal-Mart, its usually pantry or freezer trips. I don't buy produce there - I grow my own or buy local. I don't buy meat there because I buy that in large packs at Costco.
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Heidi 07:33 PM 04-23-2013
I do get what some of you said about not buying produce or meat from there. But that particular WM actually has decent produce. Not so much the meat, though. ugh.

I guess it was just the sheer volume of junk, not the idea of a few junk items. Like I said, I had a box of cheezits myself (for my 12 year old). Then I stopped at Aldi and bought produce, milk, eggs, cheese, and lunchmeat.

Someone mentioned slimfast. She had some sort of "ready shake" in a can, too, although it wasn't slimfast.

I don't know why I noticed, except that there was just SO MUCH of it.
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Unregistered 06:44 AM 04-24-2013
Hi have a DCB who eats like this. The lunch he brings everyday is sugar, sugar and more sugar!!! No veggies ever. The kids is always tired, REALLY crabby at times, and would take a 4 hour nap if I let him.

I feel bad for him.
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countrymom 06:50 AM 04-24-2013
Originally Posted by JenNJ:
I think its pretty rude of you to judge someone knowing nothing about them. And to throw in the food stamp comment is just really disgusting. How does their economic status have anything to do with poor food choices. I know families on food assistance who eat welland well off familes who eat McD's every night.

When I shop at Wal-Mart, its usually pantry or freezer trips. I don't buy produce there - I grow my own or buy local. I don't buy meat there because I buy that in large packs at Costco.
judge, well let me tell you, these same people who fill their carts full of junk are the same people who are overwieght and have naughty children and they can't figure it out. My sister is a cashier at a cheap food store here and when they get their cheques they fill their carts full of crap. You never see fruit or veggies in their carts. Its rare people who are on food stamps buy real food. Its like last week when I saw the hugely obese women (and she had her fat hanging to her knees) buying a whole cart full of pop, really what did you want me to think. Buying junk is such a norm its not even funny anymore, and its reality, people just don't buy healthy anymore.

several of my families live around my, explain to me how they all have less than 1 garbage bag every single week and its not even full. Yet their recycle bins are full of frozen boxes of all sorts. Its now a joke with us, but when I hear what they all eat for dinner and on the weekends I'm so shocked but not that shocked. Its convience. I had a dcb who is 7 and he has never seen a green apple till he saw my bowl of fruit on the counter.

how did we all grow up, we rarely ate out, and dinner was always made. Why can't people do this now. I'm glad that my children get to come home to a home cooked meal instead of junk. I want them to know that dinner doesn't have to be complacated or take long to make, thats why I involved them when I make dinner.
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KnoxMom 07:09 AM 04-24-2013
I try to avoid processed foods altogether but I typically purchase all fruits and veggies from our local Farmer's Market. The prices are decent and I like the idea of eating fresh, locally grown food. I was a little thrown off, even offended by the food stamp card comment though. I grew up in a single parent household with actual food stamps. We were cut OFF from them when my mother picked up a 2nd job to make ends meet. (Ironic how you are penalized for trying to do more to support your family) We often received food from our local pantry and church because we were barely making it after she was diagnosed with cancer and made JUST enough that she couldn't qualify for free or reduced healthcare. She NEVER purchased junk food. She said we couldn't afford NOT to eat healthy and believed anything outside of meat that didn't come out of the ground wouldn't get you full unless you ate larger portions than you were supposed to. (I swear it seemed like we ate oatmeal for breakfast EVERYDAY, fish, rice and broccoli for dinner all the time and fruit was the only sweet treat if she added cinammon to baked apples). I'm not sure what your motivation was exactly for making the comment but I just want it to be clear that it is completely irrelevant what the woman is using to pay her groceries with. I know parents that make $75K ALONE and will give the child whatever junk they want. I do wish that EBT would limit the qualified foods to healthier choices like WIC does in my state to discourage foods with little to no nutritional value. Ultimately, I think if parents actually READ the box they'd think twice before buying half of the things on that list.
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LaLa1923 07:22 AM 04-24-2013
Originally Posted by JenNJ:
I think its pretty rude of you to judge someone knowing nothing about them. And to throw in the food stamp comment is just really disgusting. How does their economic status have anything to do with poor food choices. I know families on food assistance who eat welland well off familes who eat McD's every night.

When I shop at Wal-Mart, its usually pantry or freezer trips. I don't buy produce there - I grow my own or buy local. I don't buy meat there because I buy that in large packs at Costco.



That's usually what I buy there too! lol
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JenNJ 07:33 AM 04-24-2013
Originally Posted by countrymom:
judge, well let me tell you, these same people who fill their carts full of junk are the same people who are overwieght and have naughty children and they can't figure it out. My sister is a cashier at a cheap food store here and when they get their cheques they fill their carts full of crap. You never see fruit or veggies in their carts. Its rare people who are on food stamps buy real food. Its like last week when I saw the hugely obese women (and she had her fat hanging to her knees) buying a whole cart full of pop, really what did you want me to think. Buying junk is such a norm its not even funny anymore, and its reality, people just don't buy healthy anymore.
My point is that people make bad choices no matter how little or how much money they have. Just because someone is on food stamps does NOT make them a bad parent who will feed their child crappy food. Parents of all backgrounds make good and bad choices. becuase they are human and humans aren't perfect.

So yeah -- taking a moment in someone's life and judging them on it is wrong -- but it is especially wrong when you throw in that because they aren't making a choice you approve of that they must be on food stamps. It's disgusting.

If your sister is so offended by the customers at her store using their food stamps for low quality food, maybe she shouldn't work at a grocery store that sells processed foods. Becuase I shop at Whole Foods, Costco, Trader Joe's, local farm stands, and farmers markets and I frequently see families using food stamps to purchase food.

So I'm not buying your opinion that it's "rare" that people on food stamps buy real food. I think that people on food stamps are just like everyone else -- they buy a mix of real foods and processed foods.

Becuase someone's financial ability to feed their family doesn't change who they are. It only means that they need to make do with less. So I think instead of judging them, you should maybe see if you can't help out by donating real foods to a local pantry or offering to buy $20 worth of produce for the single parent in line using food stamps.
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crazydaycarelady 07:48 AM 04-24-2013
I think it is pretty common for people on food stamps to make poor food choices (having worked in a grocery store myself.) NO, not everybody does, but a pretty good majority do so I don't think her assuming this mom would pay with food stamps was not that far out of line. Just reality.

Kind of like assuming that people who get daycare assistance are going to be unreliable. No they all aren't, but a good majority will be. (as many of us have learned.)
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KnoxMom 08:07 AM 04-24-2013
I think the point was that the comment was not necessary. If I see a bald man in a pickup truck and a confederate flag I can make an easy assumption, but that doesn't mean I need to share it OR that it is correct. Some things are just better left unsaid whether or not the sterotype fits.
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Cradle2crayons 08:10 AM 04-24-2013
I'm not sure about the economics of some areas but here, the worst foods for you are the cheapest... And that is was people on food stamps buy. I know because I was one of those people many years ago. Although I did try to buy some fruit etc, the cheapest way wasn't always the healthiest and 100 bucks of food stamps to feed three people at the time didn't go very far at all
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daycaremum 08:30 AM 04-24-2013
I think it's sad that there is a thread about judging what another person had in their cart at the grocery store, regardless of what was in there. I guess there is no where to be safe from being judged.
I agree that many people are uneducated about healthful eating, but that's not my business and it doesn't make me sad.
I would be sad if someone I knew or loved were making poor choices. I just spend my time trying to make the best choices for my own family, choices which are not always easy to make or to maintain.
If I had an off day where I decided to stock up on snack foods and treats that we seldom purchase, I would hate to think someone was standing behind me feeling sorry for me and assuming I was uneducated about how to eat in a healthy way.
Maybe this lady eats this way all the time, so what.
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AmyKidsCo 08:32 AM 04-24-2013
OMG were you behind my mother in law?!

I'm always saddened when I see families like that too, but many people don't know or don't believe that those kinds of foods are bad for you. Plus processed stuff is cheaper- you can get 2 boxes of Mac n Cheese for under $2 but can't get a bag of apples for that. A 2 liter of soda is $1 - milk is $3. Ever since food started to be seen as a commodity things have been messed up.
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craftymissbeth 08:33 AM 04-24-2013
Originally Posted by daycaremum:
I think it's sad that there is a thread about judging what another person had in their cart at the grocery store, regardless of what was in there. I guess there is no where to be safe from being judged.
I agree that many people are uneducated about healthful eating, but that's not my business and it doesn't make me sad.
I would be sad if someone I knew or loved were making poor choices. I just spend my time trying to make the best choices for my own family, choices which are not always easy to make or to maintain.
If I had an off day where I decided to stock up on snack foods and treats that we seldom purchase, I would hate to think someone was standing behind me feeling sorry for me and assuming I was uneducated about how to eat in a healthy way.
Maybe this lady eats this way all the time, so what.

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sarahhardy2711 08:33 AM 04-24-2013
Originally Posted by JenNJ:
My point is that people make bad choices no matter how little or how much money they have. Just because someone is on food stamps does NOT make them a bad parent who will feed their child crappy food. Parents of all backgrounds make good and bad choices. becuase they are human and humans aren't perfect.

So yeah -- taking a moment in someone's life and judging them on it is wrong -- but it is especially wrong when you throw in that because they aren't making a choice you approve of that they must be on food stamps. It's disgusting.

If your sister is so offended by the customers at her store using their food stamps for low quality food, maybe she shouldn't work at a grocery store that sells processed foods. Becuase I shop at Whole Foods, Costco, Trader Joe's, local farm stands, and farmers markets and I frequently see families using food stamps to purchase food.

So I'm not buying your opinion that it's "rare" that people on food stamps buy real food. I think that people on food stamps are just like everyone else -- they buy a mix of real foods and processed foods.

Becuase someone's financial ability to feed their family doesn't change who they are. It only means that they need to make do with less. So I think instead of judging them, you should maybe see if you can't help out by donating real foods to a local pantry or offering to buy $20 worth of produce for the single parent in line using food stamps.
I agree with everything you said! Some people should mind their own business more and judge less.

I believe that people on food stamps eat just like everyone else. A mix of real and processed food. The food stamps give them the ability to not have to miss a meal because they don't have the money to buy food. We all have things in our pantry we shouldn't, some more then others.
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preschoolteacher 10:22 AM 04-24-2013
Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo:
OMG were you behind my mother in law?!
Haha, Amy, do we have the same relatives?

It's so true that people either don't know or don't believe that eating this way is bad for you. I'm not talking about the occasional Oreo cookie every now and then. I mean eating a diet of all processed, fake "food" like the OP described.

As soon as I began feeding my son solids at 6 months, people began trying to feed him "juice" aka sugar-water, cookies, frosting, cake, chips, and so on. I never allowed it, but it always shocks me that people think it's okay to feed babies this way. They are growing and developing and deserve to eat healthier than even adults do. I really think if we feed kids healthy food, we can prevent lots of behavioral, learning, and health challenges.

One of my proudest moments as a mom so far has been when my little guy happily chowed down on quinoa, red peppers, and broccoli in front of our relatives who don't "believe in" health food. They couldn't believe he was eating so much and so happily. One grown adult even asked me what some of the stuff on his plate was... okay, maybe quinoa is a little uncommon in some places, but it made me laugh inside...!
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Sugar Magnolia 11:41 AM 04-24-2013
So I'm at the grocery store.....woman is riding in one of the sit-down motorized shopping carts. She is easily 400 pound. She asked me for help reaching something on the top shelf of the freezer...6 (six!) boxes of Dove ice cream bars!
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mnemom 11:50 AM 04-24-2013
The amount of judging in this thread is very disheartening.
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MNMommy2 12:10 PM 04-24-2013
I don't agree with the "so what" comment at all. It is a big deal because she is teaching these eating habits to her kids, who will teach it to theirs, and so on. Childhood obesity is rampant and it is absolutely PREVENTABLE!!! People buying crap just gets the companies making the crap to come up with more ideas for more crap. I fear for my children and the food they are actually going to be able to purchase when they are grown. A bunch of genetically engineered crap. (I like that word today, apparently. But that is what it is.)

I do feed my kids some snacky things, but I am very careful about what they are. Few ingredients, or I make it myself. I will not let them eat that kind of stuff when they are here. I have been feeding them things like zucchini, asparagus, and brussel sprouts and they gobble them up.

It always makes me sad when my food lady comments on how great my menu is in comparison to others. One of the reasons I stay home is because I want to know that my kids aren't somewhere eating junk all day. When my niece and nephew tell me what they ate at daycare, I just shudder.

SOME people are choosing convenience (plain lazyness) over theirs and their kids health. Pure and simple. (Even loving parents feed kids bad food--I have seen it. Not saying they dont' LOVE their kids, just that they are uneducated about healthy food and thus make really bad choices!!)
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Cradle2crayons 12:14 PM 04-24-2013
Originally Posted by mnemom:
The amount of judging in this thread is very disheartening.
Amen
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Symphony 12:42 PM 04-24-2013
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
Amen
No kidding. Everytime I pop in here, I quickly realize why I stopped coming in the first place. So, poor people eat only junk food, are fat, and don't parent their children? Check.

At least there are a few sane, kind voices on this thread.
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Cradle2crayons 12:47 PM 04-24-2013
Originally Posted by Symphony:
No kidding. Everytime I pop in here, I quickly realize why I stopped coming in the first place. So, poor people eat only junk food, are fat, and don't parent their children? Check.

At least there are a few sane, kind voices on this thread.
Amen to that too
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makap 12:48 PM 04-24-2013
I have been providing care for children for over 30 years now. I see the difference in the children I have now, as compared to the children I had just 5 or 6 years ago.

Parents do feed their children too much junk and it shows in the children's behavior big time as well as their energy levels. It is SAD!
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Greenplasticwateringcans 12:59 PM 04-24-2013
I'd have a hard time judging someone's shopping cart on one trip. We eat mainly organic veg, meat, dairy, grains... but oh boy you should see my shopping cart when I'm prepping for a camping trip

The daycare kid who came with chef boyrdee in his thermos for lunch everyday and fruit by the foot for breakfast is a different story and I judge the heck out of their parents.
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Cradle2crayons 01:03 PM 04-24-2013
All the kids had chef boy r dee for lunch today... Their pick... I do it a few times a month..
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mom2many 01:11 PM 04-24-2013
Originally Posted by Greenplasticwateringcans:
I'd have a hard time judging someone's shopping cart on one trip. We eat mainly organic veg, meat, dairy, grains... but oh boy you should see my shopping cart when I'm prepping for a camping trip

The daycare kid who came with chef boyrdee in his thermos for lunch everyday and fruit by the foot for breakfast is a different story and I judge the heck out of their parents.
This is EXACTLY what I was thinking!

I always feel a bit self conscientious when shopping for one of our camping trips & I wonder what people are thinking when they see my cart overflowing with a bunch of junk foods, alcohol and sodas...definitely NOT our usual diet!
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