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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Oh The Funny Things We Hear Ourselves Say...
CraftyMom 07:04 AM 06-18-2014
What are some things you hear yourself say that if not in a daycare setting would sound really odd?

Today I've said

"We don't touch our friends' tongues"
"Please keep your fork out of your hair"

and of course a couple of weeks ago "poop is not paint!"
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CraftyMom 07:06 AM 06-18-2014
I can add
"If you want to play with your friends you have to at least have underwear on!"

(my son who wants to be naked all the time)
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SunshineMama 07:09 AM 06-18-2014
Books are for reading, not for eating.

Point it down (taking boys to the potty)

We are gentle with our friends (probably creepy outside a daycare setting)
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BumbleBee 07:09 AM 06-18-2014
"Please don't use the same piece of toilet paper for your penis and your nose."

"Please stop licking the bottom of your friends shoes."
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MarinaVanessa 07:23 AM 06-18-2014
Sometimes it isn't what I say that's funny, it's my reaction to what the kids say that surprises/shocks parents (and other people) because I may know what the kids are saying but the other adult may not. For example:

Child comes running up and very excitedly says "I hit some big crack hoes with my stick Mrs V!!! I hit some big crack hoes!!"
Me: "You did?! Oh my goodness, you've been working hard on that all day haven't you?!" and child runs off again.
Parent I was talking to face goes

I just smiled and asked the parent to come outside and see then I explained "See Billy playing in the dirt with the stick over there? When the dirt dried after it rained the dirt cracked a bit and became brittle. He's been using the stick to crack big holes in the ground"

parent:
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NightOwl 07:30 AM 06-18-2014
I heard this coming from the nursery at my center a few years ago and still laugh when I think about it:

No, no! We don't lick our friends!!"

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taylorw1210 07:31 AM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by MV:
Sometimes it isn't what I say that's funny, it's my reaction to what the kids say that surprises/shocks parents (and other people) because I may know what the kids are saying but the other adult may not. For example:

Child comes running up and very excitedly says "I hit some big crack hoes with my stick Mrs V!!! I hit some big crack hoes!!"
Me: "You did?! Oh my goodness, you've been working hard on that all day haven't you?!" and child runs off again.
Parent I was talking to face goes

I just smiled and asked the parent to come outside and see then I explained "See Billy playing in the dirt with the stick over there? When the dirt dried after it rained the dirt cracked a bit and became brittle. He's been using the stick to crack big holes in the ground"

parent:
So funny!
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Laurel 07:32 AM 06-18-2014
I've said "Friends don't sit on friends. "
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KiddieCahoots 07:35 AM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by Laurel:
I've said "Friends don't sit on friends. "
"Oh no, we don't ride on our friends like a horse."
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Wubby 07:52 AM 06-18-2014
" Boys, we don't wear dresses at the table."
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Tdhmom 08:06 AM 06-18-2014
"How did you pee on yourself? More importantly, WHY didn't you tell me???"
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CraftyMom 10:20 AM 06-18-2014
I can also add (after lunch today) Ranch dip is not lotion! Why are you rubbing it all over your arms?!
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SignMeUp 10:34 AM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
Ranch dip is not lotion!

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llpa 10:34 AM 06-18-2014
"Did you just lick her cheek?"
"We don't eat playdough"
" No, we do not eat playdough off your friends' shoes"
"Are you making that face because you ate sand?"
"I can't trust you to play in shaving cream today"
"Are you not eating lunch because you ate everything else today that you shouldn't have?"

ALL of these were the same 2.5 yr old boy!! ALL before lunch
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ihop 10:47 AM 06-18-2014
I just said this to dcg, 3, "dcg please don't lick my couch" immediately after "dcg don't lick my feet either". Her response was "im feet hungry"
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MissAnn 10:52 AM 06-18-2014
Spaghetti is not finger food

Fiber makes you poop. (Why we don't just suck the juice out of an orange)
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midaycare 11:00 AM 06-18-2014
"If you don't behave, I'm going to take away your glitter glue privileges."

"No, no, we don't lick the cat."

Sometimes it's just the questions I get asked. "Ms. Midaycare, why does my poop smell? Does your poop smell? Does all poop smell?" Sigh ...
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drseuss 11:07 AM 06-18-2014
When I have a line of children with hands that need washing, I tell them all to "reach for the sky" and they all stick their hands straight up above their heads and go to the sink. It's funny when parents come and pick up and we need to do a quick washing, because sometimes one of the kids will pipe up with my line, Reach for the sky!

I sometimes catch myself speaking to adults in kidspeak. I have used the 'words' gived, drived, eated...and then turn beet red.
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mamamanda 11:49 AM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
I can add
"If you want to play with your friends you have to at least have underwear on!"

(my son who wants to be naked all the time)
This is my daily conversation with my son as well! Lol
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SilverSabre25 11:59 AM 06-18-2014
"No thank you, you don't need to pick up that rock. We have plenty of rocks in the yard at home."

"That is not a slide." (to EVERY INCLINED SURFACE HE SEES)

"Food belongs in your mouth, not your hair."

"Your penis is not broken, you just don't need to pee right now. Squeezing it won't help pee come out. No...your penis isn't broken because it won't point down, penises are tricky like that, sometimes they point up instead. If you leave it alone it will go back down. Let's put your pull-up back on now...."
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sahm1225 12:04 PM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by Trummynme:
"Please don't use the same piece of toilet paper for your penis and your nose."

"Please stop licking the bottom of your friends shoes."
This made me laugh out loud!!!
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melilley 12:04 PM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
"No thank you, you don't need to pick up that rock. We have plenty of rocks in the yard at home."

"That is not a slide." (to EVERY INCLINED SURFACE HE SEES)

"Food belongs in your mouth, not your hair."

"Your penis is not broken, you just don't need to pee right now. Squeezing it won't help pee come out. No...your penis isn't broken because it won't point down, penises are tricky like that, sometimes they point up instead. If you leave it alone it will go back down. Let's put your pull-up back on now...."

I have a dcb who is obsessed with penises. He will say M has a penis, B has a penis, Tucker (our dog) has a penis, and mommy has a V!!!
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melilley 12:08 PM 06-18-2014
The dog has eyes, he is going to look at you.

Yes, boys have penises, girls have V's (mom calls lady parts v's)

Use nice touches. (Sounds kinda weird to me)

I also have a dcb who is almost 3 and can barely talk. I'm constantly saying LLLLL or BBBBBB or something or repeating words, if someone were to walk by and hear me, they would probably wonder if I can talk!
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CraftyMom 12:22 PM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:

"Your penis is not broken, you just don't need to pee right now. Squeezing it won't help pee come out. No...your penis isn't broken because it won't point down, penises are tricky like that, sometimes they point up instead. If you leave it alone it will go back down. Let's put your pull-up back on now...."
OMG I'm dying over here

My son 3 last night "Mommy look at my big weeny! Here it is, see it?" I tell him to leave it alone and please don't put it in my face , I can see from where you are. A couple minutes later I hear "Mommy, it's a tiny baby weeny again!" O...M...G...!
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e.j. 12:24 PM 06-18-2014
"No, I can't hold your balls while you climb the stairs to the slide."

"I'm sorry to hear that your penis doesn't like me. You still have to sit in time out for hitting your friend."
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Chellieleanne 12:41 PM 06-18-2014
The other night with my kids.. "Mommy I peed all over bubba" me:" we don't pee on brother, we pee in the toilet." Both my boys were trying to pee in the toilet at the same time and older DS purposely aimed toward younger DS.



"We play nice with our friends, we don't sit on them"

"Get your feet out of your mouth" said both to my younger DS and almost 3yo DCB

"Ask if you can knock over the tower" to DCB who likes to ruin everything other kids make.

Some of the things I can remember at least. Kids are funny creatures
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Chellieleanne 12:42 PM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by Wubby:
" Boys, we don't wear dresses at the table."
Aw why not? When I worked in a center we had two boys who would wear the dresses in the dress up center, it was cute
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ihop 12:51 PM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by Chellieleanne:
Aw why not? When I worked in a center we had two boys who would wear the dresses in the dress up center, it was cute
When I read it, I figured the boys didn't take off the dress up clothes before lunch
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CraftyMom 01:06 PM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by ihop:
When I read it, I figured the boys didn't take off the dress up clothes before lunch

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Julie Walehwa 01:50 PM 06-18-2014
I started to say, "You may not" instead of "we don't...." because a child answered me, "yes, we do". I couldn't argue because the child was right.

"You may not twirl you bacon in the air" is clear, direct, and something I had never said before nor since that fun breakfast.
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KiddieCahoots 04:52 PM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
OMG I'm dying over here

My son 3 last night "Mommy look at my big weeny! Here it is, see it?" I tell him to leave it alone and please don't put it in my face , I can see from where you are. A couple minutes later I hear "Mommy, it's a tiny baby weeny again!" O...M...G...!
.....Too Funny!
Add my son 5yr to those ranks.
Once they discover it, it's the love affair that never ends! ....
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Wubby 06:54 PM 06-18-2014
Originally Posted by ihop:
When I read it, I figured the boys didn't take off the dress up clothes before lunch

Yep, everyday I have to tell them princess dresses need to come off before lunch.
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Papa 04:25 PM 06-25-2014
As I told a young one that I want the worm so I can let it go to be with its family, I took two steps away and he belted out YOU Piece of S-it! Can't say what I was thinking but mom said ya he says that alot
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daycare 04:33 PM 06-25-2014
hey get your hands out of her pants...................
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Josiegirl 03:41 AM 06-26-2014
"Whose foot is this on the shelf?"
We made plaster of paris feet the other day.......

"Can someone do the sniff test on A#####?"
Needs no explanation I'm sure.
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Happily_wed 01:45 PM 07-01-2014
To 4 yr old daycare girl on her first day here with new baby brother "stop smelling your brother's butt!' She spent the entire day sniffing his butt, telling me how good his diapers smelled, etc

and to a 7 yr old yesterday "stop licking yourself!" What is it with kids licking themselves if they get a boo boo? does someone teach them to do that or is it just some sort of instinct?
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SilverSabre25 01:47 PM 07-01-2014
"No, the dog is not a cylinder" <--to my 6.5 year old today during a discussion of/lesson on 3-D shapes. We concluded that she is more of a box (rectangular prism) if we MUSt call her something other than "dog shaped"
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tehck_1013 10:31 PM 07-01-2014
Today I said, "Pull your sisters wedgie!" Then I laughed and was like I can't believe I just said that. Stupid swimsuits lol I swear I had to adjust dcg2 100 times today.

Haha. I did help her again btw cuz I laughed imagining her 4yr old brother trying to pull her wedgie out omg.
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BabyMonkeys 03:53 PM 07-03-2014
to dcd - "his poop was firm today, so I flushed it. I didn't think you would want it. I'm sure he will give you lots of poop this weekend"

6m dcb had been exclusively breastfed, so his poop was always soft. This was the 1st poop since we started him on solids. They cloth diaper, so they see everything in his diapers.

my 16 year old daughter was dying laughing.
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Unregistered 03:30 PM 07-05-2014
you ladies are awesome. It's the first time I laughed all day
and I was in tears LOLing!
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MOM OF 4 03:59 PM 07-05-2014
"Cars don't care to look fo you guys, so stay with me!"
"Don't eat that!"
"OMG do NOT jump on your brother, you'll kill him" (As I was catching MY dd trying to jump from the bunk bed onto her brother who was on all 4's like a horsie during a nap. Thankfully, I caught her MID AIR, and all because I thought it was too quiet too quickly! lol)
"No! Stop putting the cat's water in your sippy, NOW"
"We don't eat the dog food!" (repeated for cat food too!)
"No, those are cones, not basements" (my son insisted construction cones were "scary basements" lol
"DD! Check DS'S POOP please"
"You need meat on your bones, kid"
"DS, (2yo) your poop smells like lavender. why does it smell like lavender?" (Then I smelled his mouth, he'd eaten a glade plug in, little weasel)
Same 2yo DS after nappin in his room: "OMG we do NOT unscrew your lamp, give me that screwdriver!" (the kid was pretty good though and actually asked if he could put back together so I supervised and he COULD!)
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Sunchimes 05:06 PM 07-05-2014
This is just another in the long chain of "don't lick" things. At the splash pad the other day, I had to tell a toddler not to lick the tree. There were 2 dads there with their kids, and you could see them shaking their heads, trying not to laugh. (He's autistic and looks way too old to be licking trees.)
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Michelle 02:45 PM 07-06-2014
Do not eat the cat food
cat food is for kitties
so then they dropped to all fours and meowed and kept eating it
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AmyKidsCo 01:29 PM 07-07-2014
I did a blog post once on the Top 10 Weird Things Heard in our House:

1. “Could you please not sneeze into the batter?”
– Daughter in Law to my five year old while making cheesecakes.

2. “This isn’t my band-aid – why is it on my knee?”
– My 11 yr old, staring at his left knee.

3. “Where are your clothes?”
– Said often to my two yr old granddaughters.

4. “Well, I was trying to hit a bug with this cantaloupe…”
- The 11 yr old again, on how he hit his head.

5. “Don’t take your pants off and dance on the table!”
– Daughter in Law to two-year-old nekkie stage granddaughter.

6. “Stop licking the cat!”
– Me to the 3 yr old. Poor Kitty!

7. “What are you eating and where did you get it?”
– Any adult to any of the younger four children.

8. “Oh! It’s not my bra; it’s me!”
– 19 yr old daughter, after discovering what was bugging her all day.

9. “It smells like a llama in here.
– 16 yr old daughter, for no apparent reason.

10. “Why are you naked?!”
– Me to my 3 yr old, way too often.
Oh yes, they call him the Streak; fastest thing on two feet…
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tehck_1013 05:31 PM 07-11-2014
Are you drinking the ground? STOP. DRINKING. THE GROUND!


(just turned sprinkler off and MY son started slurping the puddle like a dog. omg)
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racemom 07:21 PM 07-11-2014
I thought of you guys today as I told 4 to dc g spoons don't go on our heads, as she rubbed her dirty spoon in her hair!
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Tags:daycare environment, funny
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