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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>DCG Told Dad I Was Very Angry
Happy Hearts 05:19 PM 10-18-2012
Why did she tell dad I was very angry at pickup? I never get angry with the children, but I do redirection really quickly when things get out of hand. Then, she says Miss J is angry. I always tell her I'm not, we're just not doing that any more. I'm so upset.
daycare 05:22 PM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by Sparrow:
Why did she tell dad I was very angry at pickup? I never get angry with the children, but I do redirection really quickly when things get out of hand. Then, she says Miss J is angry. I always tell her I'm not, we're just not doing that any more. I'm so upset.
I would not feed into so much and just talk to the parents about it. Children still don't know how to label their emotions or the emotions of others. I have a very strong firm tone in my voice always, I could see a child thinking that I am angry, but they just don't understand that yet.Why did she tell dad I was very angry at pickup? I never get angry with the children, but I do redirection really quickly when things get out of hand. Then, she says Miss J is angry. I always tell her I'm not, we're just not doing that any more. I'm so upset.
Willow 05:33 PM 10-18-2012
Spoiled rotten kiddos who have gotten little or no feedback in regards to their behavior prior to coming to any daycare are often shocked when they are redirected.
They've never been told no, or stop, or been expected to behave any other way than that of which they are choosing in the moment.
Can be a tough adjustment to make.
I'd ask her right in front of the parent "I'm sorry you feel that way Sally, can you tell me what you mean by that?" Usually the response will be something like "Well, you told me I couldn't push Jenny when I wanted her toy and she wouldn't share." Most parents will then back you up which is an added reinforcement that not only what you're doing isn't mean, but it's in fact very appropriate.
I would not get into "nuh-uh! I'm not mean" verbal match with a child.
They've never been told no, or stop, or been expected to behave any other way than that of which they are choosing in the moment.
Can be a tough adjustment to make.
I'd ask her right in front of the parent "I'm sorry you feel that way Sally, can you tell me what you mean by that?" Usually the response will be something like "Well, you told me I couldn't push Jenny when I wanted her toy and she wouldn't share." Most parents will then back you up which is an added reinforcement that not only what you're doing isn't mean, but it's in fact very appropriate.
I would not get into "nuh-uh! I'm not mean" verbal match with a child.
Lyss 06:49 PM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by Sparrow:
Why did she tell dad I was very angry at pickup? I never get angry with the children, but I do redirection really quickly when things get out of hand. Then, she says Miss J is angry. I always tell her I'm not, we're just not doing that any more. I'm so upset.
I have a DCB that always says this when he has done something that requires redirection or anytime there is a mess of any sort (spilled paint, food on the table, a knocked over cup). Anytime something like that happens he's telling the other kids "Lyss mad!" Or "Lyss be mad at you/me" he's even told DCM this both in front of me and at home.Why did she tell dad I was very angry at pickup? I never get angry with the children, but I do redirection really quickly when things get out of hand. Then, she says Miss J is angry. I always tell her I'm not, we're just not doing that any more. I'm so upset.
I think in, his case, that is the reaction he sees at home so he assumes (even though he's been here a long time) that will be my response as well. Anytime he gets in trouble he gets yelled at and they do not allow a mess (accident or not).
Lyss 06:52 PM 10-18-2012
Originally Posted by Willow:
I'd ask her right in front of the parent "I'm sorry you feel that way Sally, can you tell me what you mean by that?" Usually the response will be something like "Well, you told me I couldn't push Jenny when I wanted her toy and she wouldn't share." Most parents will then back you up which is an added reinforcement that not only what you're doing isn't mean, but it's in fact very appropriate.
I'd ask her right in front of the parent "I'm sorry you feel that way Sally, can you tell me what you mean by that?" Usually the response will be something like "Well, you told me I couldn't push Jenny when I wanted her toy and she wouldn't share." Most parents will then back you up which is an added reinforcement that not only what you're doing isn't mean, but it's in fact very appropriate.
I agree with this too!
LittleD 06:55 PM 10-20-2012
Maybe your tone of voice changes? I was working with my daughter today< and I was getting frustrated slightly and didn't realize my tone of voice had changed (just slightly) and she says "mom, why are you mad at me??" I wasn't but I was rushing and I guess she sensed it in the tone or inflection of my voice. She's always been intuitive. I didn't realize it til she mentioned it to me 
Happy Hearts 01:45 PM 10-21-2012
I've been thinking about it and I'm pretty sure it's because I was giving my teenager a little "lecture" in front of dcg. Won't do that again.
SquirrellyMama 02:00 PM 10-21-2012
I also think some people are more sensitive to tense situations. I often think people are angry when they probably aren't, but maybe just annoyed. I also label a lot of my emotions as anger when it isn't always anger. I'm not in touch with my emotions.
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