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  #1  
Old 01-21-2013, 11:27 AM
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Default Showing Up Early!

DCG is my first drop off since terminating a family. My hours of operation are now decreased from 6-6 to 7:30-5:30.

I am NOT going back to early mornings again, ever. 7:30 opening allows me to get my older kids up, fed, and on the bus and get my younger kids up, dressed and ready at a reasonable time.

Dcg is contracted (hours dcm wrote in herself) for 7:30-5:30. (10 hour MAX per contract) Last Friday she showed up at 7, and I had the door open to put dd & ds on the bus, so they came in. I said "Oh, you're here early!" and dcm apologized "Oh yeah, sorry I forgot to tell you I have to be at work a little early." I did tell her that she needs to let me know as my hours have changed because I no longer have to accomodate other dcf. Then ds's bus arrived and dcm left, nothing else was said about it.

Fast forward to today, dcm attempts to drop off at 7, AGAIN without ASKING. There was no school today, and I heard her pull in, and knock, but I didn't open the door until 7:25. I did sit here and watch the news and drink my coffee. Dcm was upset when I opened the door. "I was just going to call you to make sure you were open today! We have been waiting in the car for almost 30 minutes!" To which I responded....

"I open at 7:30, you are scheduled to be here at 7:30. Do you need to go into work early again?" dcm stood there with her mouth hanging open. THEN she says "But you are already up and ready because of your kids, I don't see the big deal!" Apparantly a 30minute early drop off 'isn't a big deal'.


I pulled our contract and showed her what she signed, and she said that it hadn't been a problem previously (I had allowed her to drop off a little early before because I had that other DCF and it wasn't a huge deal to me, but that was always SCHEDULED!) I even sent home a notice when my hours of operation changed, and another family moved back their drop off from 7 to 7:30. I told DCM that I would be willing to open early to accomodate her needs AS NEEDED,with notice,the previous day, for the fees set (for out of normal operational hours, and over my 10 hour max).

Dcm was SO MAD. She kept saying "But dcg will only play while your kids are getting on the bus!"

No dcm. Even if that were the case, NO.

I just got 'the text' saying her early hours are going to be posted and will be regular/1-2x a week and that if I can't 'work with her' she might have to find somewhere else for dcg to go.

I'm calling her bluff. I just said "Ok dcm, thanks for letting me know. Per our contract---termination stuff here..."
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Old 01-21-2013, 11:39 AM
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I definately see your frustration, but the last part she is doing what you asked and is giving you notice and asking you to work with her 1-2 times a week regularly. Is that something you could work with if you added a little bit to those 2 days a week?
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Old 01-21-2013, 11:44 AM
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Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
I pulled our contract and showed her what she signed, and she said that it hadn't been a problem previously (I had allowed her to drop off a little early before because I had that other DCF and it wasn't a huge deal to me, but that was always SCHEDULED!) I even sent home a notice when my hours of operation changed, and another family moved back their drop off from 7 to 7:30. I told DCM that I would be willing to open early to accomodate her needs AS NEEDED,with notice,the previous day, for the fees set (for out of normal operational hours, and over my 10 hour max).
That is why this is an issue to her. YOU allowed it before with no explanation as to why it was or wasn't ok before. She is simply not understanding why it isn't ok now since it was before.

Perfect example of how "special" becomes the norm to daycare parents when there are NO clear explanations, boundaries and/or consequences.

OP~ I am NOT bashing you. I am only pointing out why this mom is upset.

She should have been denied early services before if it wouldn't have ALWAYS been ok or she should have been clearly notified that there would be additional fees for this service.

I understand you have sent out notices of new hours etc but I am referring to before you did that.
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Old 01-21-2013, 11:50 AM
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That is why this is an issue to her. YOU allowed it before with no explanation as to why it was or wasn't ok before. She is simply not understanding why it isn't ok now since it was before.

Perfect example of how "special" becomes the norm to daycare parents when there are NO clear explanations, boundaries and/or consequences.

OP~ I am NOT bashing you. I am only pointing out why this mom is upset.

She should have been denied early services before if it wouldn't have ALWAYS been ok or she should have been clearly notified that there would be additional fees for this service.

I understand you have sent out notices of new hours etc but I am referring to before you did that.
but black cat she allowed it because she was open and another family was using the early services. So when the hours changed the mom was aware of it and signed the contract, so really it isn't her fault.
I would call her bluff. If she needs early times doesn't she know the night before not the day off.
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Old 01-21-2013, 11:56 AM
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Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
DCG is my first drop off since terminating a family. My hours of operation are now decreased from 6-6 to 7:30-5:30.

I am NOT going back to early mornings again, ever. 7:30 opening allows me to get my older kids up, fed, and on the bus and get my younger kids up, dressed and ready at a reasonable time.

Dcg is contracted (hours dcm wrote in herself) for 7:30-5:30. (10 hour MAX per contract) Last Friday she showed up at 7, and I had the door open to put dd & ds on the bus, so they came in. I said "Oh, you're here early!" and dcm apologized "Oh yeah, sorry I forgot to tell you I have to be at work a little early." I did tell her that she needs to let me know as my hours have changed because I no longer have to accomodate other dcf. Then ds's bus arrived and dcm left, nothing else was said about it.

Fast forward to today, dcm attempts to drop off at 7, AGAIN without ASKING. There was no school today, and I heard her pull in, and knock, but I didn't open the door until 7:25. I did sit here and watch the news and drink my coffee. Dcm was upset when I opened the door. "I was just going to call you to make sure you were open today! We have been waiting in the car for almost 30 minutes!" To which I responded....

"I open at 7:30, you are scheduled to be here at 7:30. Do you need to go into work early again?" dcm stood there with her mouth hanging open. THEN she says "But you are already up and ready because of your kids, I don't see the big deal!" Apparantly a 30minute early drop off 'isn't a big deal'.


I pulled our contract and showed her what she signed, and she said that it hadn't been a problem previously (I had allowed her to drop off a little early before because I had that other DCF and it wasn't a huge deal to me, but that was always SCHEDULED!) I even sent home a notice when my hours of operation changed, and another family moved back their drop off from 7 to 7:30. I told DCM that I would be willing to open early to accomodate her needs AS NEEDED,with notice,the previous day, for the fees set (for out of normal operational hours, and over my 10 hour max).
Dcm was SO MAD. She kept saying "But dcg will only play while your kids are getting on the bus!"

No dcm. Even if that were the case, NO.

I just got 'the text' saying her early hours are going to be posted and will be regular/1-2x a week and that if I can't 'work with her' she might have to find somewhere else for dcg to go.

I'm calling her bluff. I just said "Ok dcm, thanks for letting me know. Per our contract---termination stuff here..."
I don't understand you wanting to term her if this is what you said to her (the part in bold). If she is giving you notice and talked about working with you, that is what you asked of her. Why would you call her bluff. IMO she is doing what you asked of her.
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Old 01-21-2013, 11:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
That is why this is an issue to her. YOU allowed it before with no explanation as to why it was or wasn't ok before. She is simply not understanding why it isn't ok now since it was before.

Perfect example of how "special" becomes the norm to daycare parents when there are NO clear explanations, boundaries and/or consequences.

OP~ I am NOT bashing you. I am only pointing out why this mom is upset.

She should have been denied early services before if it wouldn't have ALWAYS been ok or she should have been clearly notified that there would be additional fees for this service.

I understand you have sent out notices of new hours etc but I am referring to before you did that.
Yes I had allowed her to drop off at 7 previously. BUT dcm/dcd had always asked me the evening before. I even sent home notices about my hours changing.

I COULD do it on occassion, 1-2x per week isn't what I would consider on occassion. That, imho, is a regular thing. Mom also wants to drop off at the same time ds and dd's busses are scheduled to arrive. DCM refuses to pull into my (massive 4 car driveway) and blocks the road. DCG isn't the most happy child in the morning and doesn't do well AT ALL if I need to leave the room to get younger DS's up and ready, etc. I really was pushing it at once a month. If 7 were their regular hours I wouldn't do it.

I really feel like kicking myself in the butt over this. I NEVER should have allowed it, but other dcf were already here and I was open, and it was a once in a while thing (once a MONTH when dcd was out of town working, to be exact!) and I always had notice! DCG did better when their were two other kids here to play with while I got kids ready and prepped for the day, etc.

I already get up at 4:30 to workout, shower, eat, and then start getting my kids ready. I was previously getting up at 3 to do all this. Yes, 3. If I open with just dcg here I WILL have to get my kids all up earlier by those 30 minutes, as well as get myself up earlier by 30 minutes.
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Old 01-21-2013, 12:02 PM
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Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo View Post
I don't understand you wanting to term her if this is what you said to her (the part in bold). If she is giving you notice and talked about working with you, that is what you asked of her. Why would you call her bluff. IMO she is doing what you asked of her.
I don't want to term, but I am not willing to regularly accomodate those hours. Dcm was notified. As I clarified in a previous post, it was a once/month thing and THAT was ok, 1-2x a week...not so much.

I also feel like the only reason dcm is even telling me is that I spoke up about the early drop offs. OBVIOUSLY she knew about it Friday, and today she MUST have been made aware of going to work early before this morning, kwim?
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Old 01-21-2013, 12:12 PM
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I also want to add, that previously dcm (or dcd) made me aware of the early drop off in advance, and PAID for the additional time. Last week was not paid/notified early and today was expected to be unpaid/obviously not notified.

It is my fault for allowing it at all, but at that time, it wasn't AS MUCH of an inconvenience as it is now.

When I sent my notice home Jan 1. I highlighted this portion as my hours changed significantly and I haD 2 families using me with prior notice for later pick ups and this ONE family using me with notice for early drop offs. That is pretty much stopped completely since upping the fees and stating that I wouldn't be doing it on a regular basis, but would do so when my schedule allowed me to, with advance notice, and payment of fees.

I also have to add, I feel REALLY disrespected because I JUST had this talk with her Friday morning. The very next time she drops off it happens again?
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Old 01-21-2013, 12:12 PM
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I don't want to term, but I am not willing to regularly accomodate those hours. Dcm was notified. As I clarified in a previous post, it was a once/month thing and THAT was ok, 1-2x a week...not so much.

I also feel like the only reason dcm is even telling me is that I spoke up about the early drop offs. OBVIOUSLY she knew about it Friday, and today she MUST have been made aware of going to work early before this morning, kwim?
And, to be clear, you're not terming...she's saying she might have to find someone else (trying to blackmail you, in essence), and you're saying...well....okay...if you must
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Old 01-21-2013, 12:35 PM
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Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
I don't want to term, but I am not willing to regularly accomodate those hours. Dcm was notified. As I clarified in a previous post, it was a once/month thing and THAT was ok, 1-2x a week...not so much.

I also feel like the only reason dcm is even telling me is that I spoke up about the early drop offs. OBVIOUSLY she knew about it Friday, and today she MUST have been made aware of going to work early before this morning, kwim?
Now I understand. I knew there had to be something I was missing. Just tell her once in awhile WITH NOTICE and PAY is fine, but you just don't want to do it every week. I totally understand that.
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Old 01-21-2013, 12:40 PM
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And, to be clear, you're not terming...she's saying she might have to find someone else (trying to blackmail you, in essence), and you're saying...well....okay...if you must
This exactly. It's like any other hour change, if I can no longer accomodate your hours, I wish you the best of luck finding someone who can.
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Old 01-21-2013, 12:41 PM
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Now I understand. I knew there had to be something I was missing. Just tell her once in awhile WITH NOTICE and PAY is fine, but you just don't want to do it every week. I totally understand that.
Yes, sorry! I was pretty flabbergasted when I first posted (honestly still am!)
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Old 01-21-2013, 12:53 PM
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I don't want to term, but I am not willing to regularly accomodate those hours. Dcm was notified. As I clarified in a previous post, it was a once/month thing and THAT was ok, 1-2x a week...not so much.

I also feel like the only reason dcm is even telling me is that I spoke up about the early drop offs. OBVIOUSLY she knew about it Friday, and today she MUST have been made aware of going to work early before this morning, kwim?
I don't blame you for being upset. I would have been furious. Like down right PO'd that she showed up after you notified everyone of the change in hours.

You told her that occasionally is ok with notice and extra pay. I agree that 2x week or even 1x a week is regularly, not occasionally.

Kudos to you for not answering the door until 7:25. I would have been sitting there seething the entire 25 minutes though!

I also agree that it sounds like she is asking for the 1-2x a week just because you aren't allowing it.

I don't blame you at all for saying no, either! my first DCK arrives at 8:30. It irritates me when they show up at even 8:20 or 8:25.
I too find it to be a nuisance to have even one kid there when you are trying to wake up yourself, wake your kids and get them ready. It just does not work.
My kids leave at 8:00, and I need that entire 1/2 hour to either sit and mentally prepare for the day or clean up and prepare for the day.

30 minutes is a lot of time to add on to either end of the day, especially if it is for only one family. I did it for a family in the beginning of the year. It didn't work. It's just too much chaos for what is usually a quiet family time/waking up time.
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Old 01-21-2013, 01:16 PM
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Yes I had allowed her to drop off at 7 previously. BUT dcm/dcd had always asked me the evening before. I even sent home notices about my hours changing.

I COULD do it on occassion, 1-2x per week isn't what I would consider on occassion. That, imho, is a regular thing. Mom also wants to drop off at the same time ds and dd's busses are scheduled to arrive. DCM refuses to pull into my (massive 4 car driveway) and blocks the road. DCG isn't the most happy child in the morning and doesn't do well AT ALL if I need to leave the room to get younger DS's up and ready, etc. I really was pushing it at once a month. If 7 were their regular hours I wouldn't do it.

I really feel like kicking myself in the butt over this. I NEVER should have allowed it, but other dcf were already here and I was open, and it was a once in a while thing (once a MONTH when dcd was out of town working, to be exact!) and I always had notice! DCG did better when their were two other kids here to play with while I got kids ready and prepped for the day, etc.

I already get up at 4:30 to workout, shower, eat, and then start getting my kids ready. I was previously getting up at 3 to do all this. Yes, 3. If I open with just dcg here I WILL have to get my kids all up earlier by those 30 minutes, as well as get myself up earlier by 30 minutes.
Oh I completely understand why you allowed it. I was just pointing out that what you are ok with and why means nothing to the DCM....kwim? She only hear/understands that it WAS ok before and now it isn't.

I also think that I would also handle it the same way you are. I would be willing to accommodate occassionally and WITH advance notice.

Just let her know that there could or will be times where you will NOT be able to open early even with advance notice. Make sure she understands that her request for "special" won't always be accommodated.

She MUST be prepared for those times and days when it isn't doable by you and that it can't fall on your shoulders. She must be prepared with alternate arrangements for those days you cannot or do not want to open early for her.
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Old 01-21-2013, 01:33 PM
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It gets better! Dcd just picked up....

DCM NEEDS TO GO TO THE GYM 1-2x per week! NOT work early! Her work schedule changed and she can't make it in the evenings anymore without missing dinner with dcg.

Yep, now I REALLY don't feel bad at all.


BC I totally get what you mean. I need to set the record straight and not allow any more 'special' without dcm knowing about it/paying for it.

I handed dcd a schedule for after hours care for Feb and told him to have dcm write in the days she needs earlier care and then I would see if I could accomodate that. I told him that even if it was for work, I may or may not be able to accomodate him every day they need. I also told dcd that the fees need to be paid (pointed to after hours rate schedule on the sheet) in advance for the following week. Dcd was SUPER understanding and said he would let dcm know.
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Old 01-21-2013, 05:01 PM
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So you're supposed to work an extra long day because she wants to go to the gym? ahhh, sorry momma oh brother.
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Old 01-22-2013, 07:32 AM
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I wonder if these same parents who hammer on their provider's door 30 minutes before opening time, would do the same to a store???

Would they go to a store that opens at 9AM...at 8:30...and pound on the door because they can see the employees inside????

Good grief!!
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Old 01-22-2013, 07:37 AM
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I wonder if these same parents who hammer on their provider's door 30 minutes before opening time, would do the same to a store???

Would they go to a store that opens at 9AM...at 8:30...and pound on the door because they can see the employees inside????

Good grief!!
My dh said the same thing!!!!

my updated hours are now posted on the door, including the date they were effective.

Dcm showed up at 7:20 today & I opened the door at 7:30.
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Old 01-22-2013, 07:39 AM
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My dh said the same thing!!!!

my updated hours are now posted on the door, including the date they were effective.

Dcm showed up at 7:20 today & I opened the door at 7:30.
She's not too bright is she?
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Old 01-22-2013, 07:50 AM
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Cool showing up early or late

I haven' read all the replies but we were i say were with hopes it will now stop happening the dropping off way to early to & way way later, so i did a news letter with all my grips and this was the biggie

what i did was..... go over with everyone what is the drop off & pick up time they really need b/c we do really want to accommodate everyone we can

but with that said I pull out my current rate a& anyone is welcome to change their existing agreement but you will also get the current childcare fees we now charge or you can keep your current fee and pick up & drop off as originally agreed

plus now we have a big big digital clock and it says are you late do you owe a dollar a minute please don't be late

i hope it works

new to the form hope i did this right lol
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Old 01-22-2013, 07:51 AM
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My dh said the same thing!!!!

my updated hours are now posted on the door, including the date they were effective.

Dcm showed up at 7:20 today & I opened the door at 7:30.
At this point I think she's testing to see how far she can get with you. She knows you open at 7:30 but she's seeing just how early she can get you to open the door. So when she showed up ten minutes early and it didn't work, I'm willing to bet you she thought "well tomorrow I'll show up 5 minutes early and see if she opens the door." Stick to your guns! Even if she shows up at 7:29 don't open the door!

If this were any other client, I'd open the door early, but this one is acting like a toddler and doesn't deserve flexibility.
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Old 01-22-2013, 07:52 AM
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good for u this what i try to tell my husband to do he doesn't like to be confrontational
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Old 01-22-2013, 08:15 AM
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I agree that at this point, she is trying to play me. Previously dcm had NO issues showing up early, and would arrive at 7:30-7:45 when she had to be at work at 8. She now has to be at work at 9. Her gym is on her way to work, both are within 5 minutes of my house. I think she could drop dcg off at 7:30, work out for 45-60 minutes, shower and be at work on time.
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Old 01-22-2013, 08:23 AM
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I agree that at this point, she is trying to play me. Previously dcm had NO issues showing up early, and would arrive at 7:30-7:45 when she had to be at work at 8. She now has to be at work at 9. Her gym is on her way to work, both are within 5 minutes of my house. I think she could drop dcg off at 7:30, work out for 45-60 minutes, shower and be at work on time.
The fastest easiest way to cure this is to attach a hefty fee to every minute she arrives early.

The second she pulls into your driveway, begin billing her $1 per minute.

Explain to her that even though she isn't in the home, she IS on your property and that you are automatically liable for her once she enters your property so you HAVE to bill her extra to make up for that liability.

If she arrives at 7:25 and wasn't scheduled to arrive until 7:30, bill her for $5 additional dollars. Do this EVERY.SINGLE time.

I GUARANTEE you that she will stop showing up early if you bill her for it.
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Old 01-22-2013, 08:28 AM
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DCG is my first drop off since terminating a family. My hours of operation are now decreased from 6-6 to 7:30-5:30.

I am NOT going back to early mornings again, ever. 7:30 opening allows me to get my older kids up, fed, and on the bus and get my younger kids up, dressed and ready at a reasonable time.

Dcg is contracted (hours dcm wrote in herself) for 7:30-5:30. (10 hour MAX per contract) Last Friday she showed up at 7, and I had the door open to put dd & ds on the bus, so they came in. I said "Oh, you're here early!" and dcm apologized "Oh yeah, sorry I forgot to tell you I have to be at work a little early." I did tell her that she needs to let me know as my hours have changed because I no longer have to accomodate other dcf. Then ds's bus arrived and dcm left, nothing else was said about it.

Fast forward to today, dcm attempts to drop off at 7, AGAIN without ASKING. There was no school today, and I heard her pull in, and knock, but I didn't open the door until 7:25. I did sit here and watch the news and drink my coffee. Dcm was upset when I opened the door. "I was just going to call you to make sure you were open today! We have been waiting in the car for almost 30 minutes!" To which I responded....

"I open at 7:30, you are scheduled to be here at 7:30. Do you need to go into work early again?" dcm stood there with her mouth hanging open. THEN she says "But you are already up and ready because of your kids, I don't see the big deal!" Apparantly a 30minute early drop off 'isn't a big deal'.


I pulled our contract and showed her what she signed, and she said that it hadn't been a problem previously (I had allowed her to drop off a little early before because I had that other DCF and it wasn't a huge deal to me, but that was always SCHEDULED!) I even sent home a notice when my hours of operation changed, and another family moved back their drop off from 7 to 7:30. I told DCM that I would be willing to open early to accomodate her needs AS NEEDED,with notice,the previous day, for the fees set (for out of normal operational hours, and over my 10 hour max).

Dcm was SO MAD. She kept saying "But dcg will only play while your kids are getting on the bus!"

No dcm. Even if that were the case, NO.

I just got 'the text' saying her early hours are going to be posted and will be regular/1-2x a week and that if I can't 'work with her' she might have to find somewhere else for dcg to go.

I'm calling her bluff. I just said "Ok dcm, thanks for letting me know. Per our contract---termination stuff here..."

BYE!!!!!!!
lol
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  #26  
Old 01-22-2013, 08:45 AM
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MarinaVanessa MarinaVanessa is offline
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This whole thread had me like this the whole time I read DCM's antics -->

I can understand DCM's confusion at first but c'mon the situation and policies have been explained to her over and over again CLEARLY now and she is still testing. I know that DCP's sometimes do this and this is the exact reason why I chose to buy my keyless entry system and give my DCP's access codes to my home based on their contracted schedules. I was so TIRED of having to explain myself over and over and over and having clients push the early pick ups and late drop offs. If you are scheduled for 7:30am and it's 7:29am you are not getting in, try it. If you are scheduled to pick up at 5:30pm and you arrive at 5:31pm guess what ... door isn't opening buddy and I'll open up and give you the stink eye .

As many times as this very thing has happened to me it never ceases to amaze me how far clients will push for "special".
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Old 01-22-2013, 08:53 AM
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This whole thread had me like this the whole time I read DCM's antics -->

I can understand DCM's confusion at first but c'mon the situation and policies have been explained to her over and over again CLEARLY now and she is still testing. I know that DCP's sometimes do this and this is the exact reason why I chose to buy my keyless entry system and give my DCP's access codes to my home based on their contracted schedules. I was so TIRED of having to explain myself over and over and over and having clients push the early pick ups and late drop offs. If you are scheduled for 7:30am and it's 7:29am you are not getting in, try it. If you are scheduled to pick up at 5:30pm and you arrive at 5:31pm guess what ... door isn't opening buddy and I'll open up and give you the stink eye .

As many times as this very thing has happened to me it never ceases to amaze me how far clients will push for "special".
I NEED THIS! Where did you get it? Can I program it for 8 families + my own family?!!!

BC, that's an awesome idea and I may have to do just that. I think if I bill her for the early times she will start to understand. Drop off AT 7:30 means 7:30. NOT 7:29.

This morning it was "Dcg likes it so much here and I would hate to leave but I really need to drop her off at 7-7:15 sometimes." to which I replied "I know and I enjoy dcg coming here and am willing to maintain our current contract, and helping out on occassion, ONCE OR SO A MONTH. If you'd like I can give you the number for the referral office. Im sure they could find someone who will do 7-5:30." dcm back tracked IMMEDIATELY and said that she doesn't want to pay my fees ($10/half hour for over 10 hours AND/OR outside of contracted times). They are stiff, I agree but they are there for a reason. I don't want to work my entire life.

I wasn't nice about the blatant lie (work schedule did change, but not earlier as dcm said).
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  #28  
Old 01-22-2013, 10:19 AM
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Oh man, you are far KINDER than I would have been. I have zero tolerance for the "oh, we don't like the policies we signed so I am going to threaten leaving". I don't play that game, because that will always be their go-to whenever they don't like something. They are done with me at that point. I will always accept their termination right then, say it isn't working for me either, and then go and fill the spot for two weeks from that date. So, you are way kinder than me. I like how you are not opening until the exact second you open. Awesome!
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Old 01-22-2013, 10:53 AM
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I am horrified.

If it doesn't work for you then by all means, go find someplace else. Good grief!!!!
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Old 01-22-2013, 12:22 PM
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this is the kind of crap that is one of the reasons why I am closing down my daycare. I have no problem saying no to parents but the constant pushing. hinting, threatening is so exhausting! I just dont understand what goes thru a parents mind to keep up this behavior. All the sneaking around, passive aggressive tactics, sending hubby to do the dirty work? what is up with that?! I am just confused out how these parents normally are very easy to work with at their jobs for the most part, successful in other areas of life and that sort of thing.....yet cannot maintain an appropriate relationship with their daycare provider.

OP my guess is that their little angel is being very bratty at home and mom is trying to give her the old heave ho and letting you deal with her. you said that DCG is challenging in the morning. most of the time that means she is worse it home. mom is missing almost 2 hours with her in the morning to get a work out in and supposedly eat dinner together....if that was her logic, then why could she spend breakfast together and then workout in the evening? same difference right? i bet its because Dad is there to help in the evening and mom does not want to do it alone in the morning. am i right?
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Old 01-22-2013, 03:23 PM
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I dont get this at all.

You changed your hours to make it so you are open for 10 hours a day not 12 right? Said you are not going back to early mornings, ever.

Then your upset because dcm showed up early. You reminded her that you changed your hours.

Then you proceed to say you will try and work with her to be open early when she needs you to be.

So why did you change your hours then?

She is either there at 7:30 or not at all OR you are open early forever or not at all.

She is trying to get "special" because you are wishy washy about your hours.
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Old 01-22-2013, 03:44 PM
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I dont get this at all.

You changed your hours to make it so you are open for 10 hours a day not 12 right? Said you are not going back to early mornings, ever.

Then your upset because dcm showed up early. You reminded her that you changed your hours.

Then you proceed to say you will try and work with her to be open early when she needs you to be.

So why did you change your hours then?

She is either there at 7:30 or not at all OR you are open early forever or not at all.

She is trying to get "special" because you are wishy washy about your hours.
Thanks for your help.
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Old 01-22-2013, 03:46 PM
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I spoke to dcd about this at pick up, and he said dcm will only be needing early drop off in Feb for (date on calendar dcd is out of town-1) and that she will be dropped off at 7 and the extra fees would be X and that they would be paid the previous week, per contract.

Dcm sent me an apology text after she spoke to dcd about dropping off early and said that she felt bad if I was upset or missed my morning time with my kids because of her.

All's well that ends well.
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Old 01-22-2013, 03:53 PM
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Originally Posted by cheerfuldom View Post
this is the kind of crap that is one of the reasons why I am closing down my daycare. I have no problem saying no to parents but the constant pushing. hinting, threatening is so exhausting! I just dont understand what goes thru a parents mind to keep up this behavior. All the sneaking around, passive aggressive tactics, sending hubby to do the dirty work? what is up with that?! I am just confused out how these parents normally are very easy to work with at their jobs for the most part, successful in other areas of life and that sort of thing.....yet cannot maintain an appropriate relationship with their daycare provider.

OP my guess is that their little angel is being very bratty at home and mom is trying to give her the old heave ho and letting you deal with her. you said that DCG is challenging in the morning. most of the time that means she is worse it home. mom is missing almost 2 hours with her in the morning to get a work out in and supposedly eat dinner together....if that was her logic, then why could she spend breakfast together and then workout in the evening? same difference right? i bet its because Dad is there to help in the evening and mom does not want to do it alone in the morning. am i right?
DCG is usually a DOLL for me, I swear, baby talk is her only correction during the day, EVER ("dcg I like your big girl voice better" to which I get "Ok Miss *****'...in her big girl voice)...when other kids are here. I CANNOT, EVER leave her (at 3.5) for a MINUTE alone. My ds's room is adjacent to the daycare room and she can hear me, and still cries.

These parents are awesome in every other way, and previously were about this as well but in Dec I let my early morning client go. I never knew dcg was like that, until they left, bc she had never been alone. Dcp's say she is like this at home/grandma's as well.
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Old 01-22-2013, 04:03 PM
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DCG is usually a DOLL for me, I swear, baby talk is her only correction during the day, EVER ("dcg I like your big girl voice better" to which I get "Ok Miss *****'...in her big girl voice)...when other kids are here. I CANNOT, EVER leave her (at 3.5) for a MINUTE alone. My ds's room is adjacent to the daycare room and she can hear me, and still cries.

These parents are awesome in every other way, and previously were about this as well but in Dec I let my early morning client go. I never knew dcg was like that, until they left, bc she had never been alone. Dcp's say she is like this at home/grandma's as well.
will SHe walk away from YOU? Or does she stay right at your hip all the time? Will she go to the bathroom, walk out of the room for something, or walk accross the yard?

If she does...it's a control thing. If she doesn't, it's an anxiety thing.

If it's a control thing, it needs some behavioral intervention. If it's an anxiety thing, maybe you could give her a substitute for you? A special "friend" like a stuffed bear or something, that sits on the shelf until you need to leave the room? THen, he can "keep her company" while you're out of the room.
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Old 01-23-2013, 12:23 AM
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will SHe walk away from YOU? Or does she stay right at your hip all the time? Will she go to the bathroom, walk out of the room for something, or walk accross the yard?

If she does...it's a control thing. If she doesn't, it's an anxiety thing.

If it's a control thing, it needs some behavioral intervention. If it's an anxiety thing, maybe you could give her a substitute for you? A special "friend" like a stuffed bear or something, that sits on the shelf until you need to leave the room? THen, he can "keep her company" while you're out of the room.
I disagree - it could still be an anxiety issue - she may have anxiety about someone leaving her, whereas choosing to leave is a different thing altogether. Many adult women have this same issue Seriously though, I feel this is a major oversimplification of an issue in an otherwise well-behaved child, especially when this behavior is typically not a problem. If it's not causing problems why not let her outgrow it on her own?
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Old 01-23-2013, 12:26 AM
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I heard her pull in, and knock, but I didn't open the door until 7:25. I did sit here and watch the news and drink my coffee. Dcm was upset when I opened the door. "I was just going to call you to make sure you were open today! We have been waiting in the car for almost 30 minutes!"
Love this!

I ended up getiing stuck with a child that arrives at 5:45 (about to give 2 week notice thankfully, the parent was aware that it was a temporary agreement to begin with). At interview AND on the contract, drop-off time is at 6 AM - well, turns out his parent meant he STARTS WORK at 6!
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Old 01-23-2013, 05:13 AM
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Dcg is afraid of being alone. She has to have me in sight at all times. Same with dcm/d at home, grandparents and her weekend sitter.

She will voluntarily leave my side to play, but she looks/checks my location more than any of the other children. She has been like this (per parents AND grandma) since infancy. They thought it was severe separation anxiety and that she would outgrow it, they have mentioned it to her pediatrician, who says that as she ages she should outgrow it.

She is also timid/shy in almost all other areas. Strangers scare the heck out of her. Even super nice daycare Moms who she has seen 5 days a week for over a year she will NOT speak to, ever. It took her two weeks to say a word to me when she started. It's worse with men, for instance, my dh. She has known him for a year and is just starting to say "Goodbye Mr *****" with all the kids when he leaves, etc.
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  #39  
Old 01-27-2013, 09:10 AM
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New here, can someone please tell me what dcm and dcg stand for?
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  #40  
Old 01-27-2013, 09:15 AM
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New here, can someone please tell me what dcm and dcg stand for?
dcm is Daycare Mom

dcg is daycare girl

dcb is daycare boy and so on
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  #41  
Old 01-27-2013, 09:29 AM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
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Originally Posted by creativekids1 View Post
New here, can someone please tell me what dcm and dcg stand for?
Here is a list of acronyms for use on the board. http://daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=31167

Hopefully it will help!

Welcome aboard! Nice to have you!
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