Has anyone had twins who are very behind on milestones?

They just turned 3 and can not:
Dress/undress themselves
Be understood other then "thank you" "yes/no" and their names
Do a simple chunky wood puzzle with 5 pieces
Follow very basic instructions like "lets go wash our hands" or "it's clean up time"

I'm wondering if it's a twin thing as I've never been around young twins before of if they are behind in all areas for other reasons.

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Super common with multiples as they're often born prematurely.

Prematurity can cause severe global delays. Many manage to catch up by the time they're school age, others never do.


Have you recommended interventions based on what you know and what you've seen?

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I've seen some delays with twins I've had, but nothing like what you're experiencing with 3 year olds. I would definitely talk to mom about having them evaluated. Just because they are twins doesn't mean that it's ok for them to be so far behind and not get the help they need-so don't let her use that as an "excuse".
I've got twins here that besides being premature were severely malnourished for the first 9 months of their lives. They are meeting almost all the goals and objectives for their age.

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They were born at 39 weeks.

I've only had them one day per week part time for a few months and today compared to another new child 1 month younger the delay is startling obvious.

I had to look up age milestones as I've never had a child I suspected or was told is delayed. They are about 18-24months. Very little eye contact...lots or play alone/each other...limited vocabulary.

Their crying was bothersome too...like a newborn cry "wahh wahh wahh".

I'm not certain how or if I should talk to the parents about this as I don't know if it's normal or a twin thing.

Thanks

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Multiples are not inherently delayed just because they are multiples so absolutely you can address it!

Maybe the parents are slacking because they are overwhelmed?


Are these their first children or are there others in the family?

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I always say it doesn't matter how (or why) the child has delays, it just matters that they do, and they deserve to get any help that is available.

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I agree I would have it checked out. My twins were delayed in language (no words before 2, except one who came out with "no" about a month before her 2nd birthday), but they were certainly talking by 3. The dressing might be the mother being lazy, or not having the energy to cope with how long they take (my twins dressed themselves early, but my now 5 year old sometimes still insists that I dress him )

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I have heard that multiples tend to be more speech delayed than singles not only because they are more likely to be born prematurely but also because they often don't get as much individual attention with mom (or dad) as they would if they were the only one- some parents have a hard time talking to the child as an individual (instead of as a duo), feeding both at the same time, or finding 1 on 1 time for just one twin. Sometimes there is one twin that is more delayed than the other because of birth complications (such as lack of oxygen) or because one twin may have been deprived of minerals during pregnancy (usually more common in identical twins- usually one twin would be bigger than the other). Or sometimes if the mother is not getting all the nutrients she needs during pregnancy or gaining enough weight that could increase their chances of having mental challenges (experts now believe that a lack of folic acids in early pregnancy [even conception] could contribute to the increased cases of children with ADHD and autism). Also maternal age increases your chances of having multiples but also increases chances of having a child with special needs.

Another thing is sometimes twins develop their own way of communicating with each other (not only words but mannerisms and body language). So they get accustomed to their own 'twin language' and have a hard time communicating with others with words.

I think most parent with children with delays have gone through a bit of denial at first (not all but most) because they are afraid that their child won't be "normal" or they are afraid that they are to blame or others will blame them for their learning disabilities.

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It really does not matter what the cause is. If they are delayed they need to receive services. Have the parents contact the school and find out how to start testing. This is April so there is a big rush because most schools do not test or do IEPs in the summer though they may have a summer program and provide services.

at age 3 here in the states it is a fed law that the school district provides service for all who qualify.

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The twins are still 2 years off of starting school and will not be able to access school testing until then.

The government here doens't work like that. If the parents took their childrent to the Dr right now it would still be months/years until they were given any sort of help because of their age.

*sweet...my name works!

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You should double check with your local resources office because it depends on the where you live (could vary by state, county, or city) and laws are always changing. IK in my state that if a child under 5 (even still an infant or toddler) is showing any signs of delays that could effect them later in school that the public school district they live in (even if they don't plan on attending that school later) is legally obligated to test that child and offer intervention for them. They do this to insure that the child has access to help they need before they go to school and before it becomes a bigger problem with their studies.

Another thing is the parents may be confused and not know the right things to say or what to ask for and if you are willing, you can offer support as acting as an advocate for their children during IFSPs and IEPs

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I'm possitive that is how it is here...there is no early school lead intervention. I have a child in school right now and was not able to get help from the district until K. It is really REALLY frustrating.

I'm formulting something to say to mom but am expecting her to be very defensive.

Thank you

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I would suggest the parents have them evaluated. I'm a mom of twins and I've always been on the lookout for delays in my boys(I had a very complicated pregnancy and they were premature). We were fortunate that developmentally they were always on target. Twins do tend to have their own language which may cause a delay, 1 of my twins is in speech therapy. Whether a singleton or multiple, the tasks you are describing should be able to be completed.

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Do you not live in the US? I ask because I worked in early intervention and I've never heard of a state that doesn't have that. Talking to the parents about delays is tricky for sure...hopefully it goes well and the parents are receptive! I like to have printable materials with milestones to give them because sometimes the shock of the initial conversation makes them kind of tune out or like you said get defensive. I think when they get home and really look at the materials, it's a wake up call. Good luck!

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