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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Do Some Parents Think It’s Actually Ok To Hit
Mrs.Ky 04:57 AM 04-14-2011
Yesterday we where outside playing and it was closing time my DD who is 3 pushed down my DCB who is 2 in front of his Dad. I told her it wasnt nice and we dont push (all children get 1 warning and if they do it again they go to time out) well the Dad speaks up and says she better watch it he will push her back wont you (DCB name). My mouth dropped here I am telling my DD its not nice to push and he is encouraging his Son to push back I dont get some parents do they really think its ok to do this?
momofsix 05:32 AM 04-14-2011
I had one boy that told me his dad told him he could hit anyone that was picking on him. This was after he punched his little brother who had been bothering him. I had a talk with mom, she had no idea dad said this.
There is NO hitting/pushing allowed here.
Dad said he was worried dcb was getting picked on at school, and wanted him to defend himself. He's 5 years old...I would think that's not neccessary yet. they hadn't even talked about other ways to react in that type of situation. I could maybe see if an older kid keeps getting picked on, then teaching hem to defend himself, but for young children it's up to the adults to keep them safe from violence.
There is NO hitting/pushing allowed here.
Dad said he was worried dcb was getting picked on at school, and wanted him to defend himself. He's 5 years old...I would think that's not neccessary yet. they hadn't even talked about other ways to react in that type of situation. I could maybe see if an older kid keeps getting picked on, then teaching hem to defend himself, but for young children it's up to the adults to keep them safe from violence.
My Daycare 05:40 AM 04-14-2011
My pet peeve quote is, "Oh, they are just boys."
morgan24 05:45 AM 04-14-2011
I would of said to dcb. Oh, You don't want to do that because then you won't get to play. Then to the dcd I would of said I don't allow that type of behavior from any of them including my own. So please don't suggest to him that it is okay.
MG&Lsmom 05:48 AM 04-14-2011
Originally Posted by momofsix:
I had one boy that told me his dad told him he could hit anyone that was picking on him. This was after he punched his little brother who had been bothering him. I had a talk with mom, she had no idea dad said this.
There is NO hitting/pushing allowed here.
Dad said he was worried dcb was getting picked on at school, and wanted him to defend himself. He's 5 years old...I would think that's not neccessary yet. they hadn't even talked about other ways to react in that type of situation. I could maybe see if an older kid keeps getting picked on, then teaching hem to defend himself, but for young children it's up to the adults to keep them safe from violence.
Unfortunately I've experienced that 5 is not too young for bullying and violence to start. In my DD's Kindy class last year there was a girl who was eventually removed from the classroom because she was so physical with the kids. She hit my DD and shoved her off the bench at the lunch room table. She also bit her and several other students. Another 5yo girl on her bus strangled another student on the way home, older than her, and an ambulance had to be called. Several boys have been playing a "grab the girls" game on the playground this year leaving bruises and scrapes from their roughness. We live in a small suburban town. Good mix of all income levels and races. I have been shocked at the level of violence in our elementary school. My DD is also in an inclusion classroom with 2 teachers and 3 full time aides. It is not the special education kids either, it's the "peer models" in the class.I had one boy that told me his dad told him he could hit anyone that was picking on him. This was after he punched his little brother who had been bothering him. I had a talk with mom, she had no idea dad said this.
There is NO hitting/pushing allowed here.
Dad said he was worried dcb was getting picked on at school, and wanted him to defend himself. He's 5 years old...I would think that's not neccessary yet. they hadn't even talked about other ways to react in that type of situation. I could maybe see if an older kid keeps getting picked on, then teaching hem to defend himself, but for young children it's up to the adults to keep them safe from violence.
missnikki 06:01 AM 04-14-2011
Ugh...this dad is teaching his son that:
1) Pushing/hitting is ok in response to frustration
2) Pushing/hitting girls is ok
3) Pushing/hitting the Daycare provider's kid in front of her is ok
4) Arguing or disobeying the DCP is ok
5) Threatening is OK
What a maroon. I'd have a few words with the guy. Something along the lines of, "Threatening the other kids through your son is very inappropriate, and I'm going to ask that you knock that off. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you don't go home and tell him to go around pushing people, so why don't you let me handle it next time?"
Or something like it.
1) Pushing/hitting is ok in response to frustration
2) Pushing/hitting girls is ok
3) Pushing/hitting the Daycare provider's kid in front of her is ok
4) Arguing or disobeying the DCP is ok
5) Threatening is OK
What a maroon. I'd have a few words with the guy. Something along the lines of, "Threatening the other kids through your son is very inappropriate, and I'm going to ask that you knock that off. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you don't go home and tell him to go around pushing people, so why don't you let me handle it next time?"
Or something like it.
Blackcat31 06:33 AM 04-14-2011
I have several kids who I know their parents tell them it is okay to hit or push others. One does it under the disguise of "sticking up for ones self". I even have one dad who tells his 4 yr old dd that farting, burping and picking your nose are all normal body functions and it is okay to do any of those things whenever the need arises even if it is in the middle of a public place. 
I know, dad is a moron, but I gave up trying to change parent views and child rearing philosophies a long time ago. I am now only concerned with what goes on here on MY time. Here, we do not hit or push and we do not burp or fart on purpose or without an "excuse me" and we do not pick our nose with out a tissue.
I know, dad is a moron, but I gave up trying to change parent views and child rearing philosophies a long time ago. I am now only concerned with what goes on here on MY time. Here, we do not hit or push and we do not burp or fart on purpose or without an "excuse me" and we do not pick our nose with out a tissue.
elle73 06:58 AM 04-14-2011
I once had a dcg grab my daughter by the hair and slam her head into the wall very hard, dcm was there and said to my daughter oh just hit her back and we will call it even, I couldn't believe it.
daycare 08:06 AM 04-14-2011
I think its more of a dad thing to be honest. I had a kid here one time who was just pushing buttons all day to all of the kids. Even though he was younger, he was bigger in size than most of the kids.
So the day goes on and little johhny is getting attacked by the button pusher. Finally little johnny hauls off and socks him in the stomach.
I send both kids to time out.
When I am telling the DCD that little Johnny went to time out for hitting the other kid, he asks wellk what happened that caused him to hit? I tell him and he says oh well that kid deserved it? I hope he learned not to push my kids buttons again or he will get a can of woop a$$. WTH
Deserved it or not hitting is not ok was my response. I don;t tolerate any kind of such behavior for any reason. Dad did not agree with me....
However, this same situaion happened again, same kids two weeks later. But this time mom came to pick up little johnny. I told her what happened and she went off on little johnny. Telling him that he lost his ice cream for the night and that it was NOT ok to hit ever....
Lol, like I said I know its not all men, just most......
So the day goes on and little johhny is getting attacked by the button pusher. Finally little johnny hauls off and socks him in the stomach.
I send both kids to time out.
When I am telling the DCD that little Johnny went to time out for hitting the other kid, he asks wellk what happened that caused him to hit? I tell him and he says oh well that kid deserved it? I hope he learned not to push my kids buttons again or he will get a can of woop a$$. WTH
Deserved it or not hitting is not ok was my response. I don;t tolerate any kind of such behavior for any reason. Dad did not agree with me....
However, this same situaion happened again, same kids two weeks later. But this time mom came to pick up little johnny. I told her what happened and she went off on little johnny. Telling him that he lost his ice cream for the night and that it was NOT ok to hit ever....
Lol, like I said I know its not all men, just most......
Blackcat31 09:54 AM 04-14-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
I think its more of a dad thing to be honest. I had a kid here one time who was just pushing buttons all day to all of the kids. Even though he was younger, he was bigger in size than most of the kids.
So the day goes on and little johhny is getting attacked by the button pusher. Finally little johnny hauls off and socks him in the stomach.
I send both kids to time out.
When I am telling the DCD that little Johnny went to time out for hitting the other kid, he asks wellk what happened that caused him to hit? I tell him and he says oh well that kid deserved it? I hope he learned not to push my kids buttons again or he will get a can of woop a$$. WTH
Deserved it or not hitting is not ok was my response. I don;t tolerate any kind of such behavior for any reason. Dad did not agree with me....
However, this same situaion happened again, same kids two weeks later. But this time mom came to pick up little johnny. I told her what happened and she went off on little johnny. Telling him that he lost his ice cream for the night and that it was NOT ok to hit ever....
Lol, like I said I know its not all men, just most......
I have the exact opposite situations...the two 'hitters' I have are boys and when I tell the dads they seem to be really strict and NOT happy about their child's behaviors and if I tell the moms of both those kids, the one mom kinda rolls her eyes and the other one laughs and says "Boy will be boys" so in my case, it is the mom's who make excuses for their kids.I think its more of a dad thing to be honest. I had a kid here one time who was just pushing buttons all day to all of the kids. Even though he was younger, he was bigger in size than most of the kids.
So the day goes on and little johhny is getting attacked by the button pusher. Finally little johnny hauls off and socks him in the stomach.
I send both kids to time out.
When I am telling the DCD that little Johnny went to time out for hitting the other kid, he asks wellk what happened that caused him to hit? I tell him and he says oh well that kid deserved it? I hope he learned not to push my kids buttons again or he will get a can of woop a$$. WTH
Deserved it or not hitting is not ok was my response. I don;t tolerate any kind of such behavior for any reason. Dad did not agree with me....
However, this same situaion happened again, same kids two weeks later. But this time mom came to pick up little johnny. I told her what happened and she went off on little johnny. Telling him that he lost his ice cream for the night and that it was NOT ok to hit ever....
Lol, like I said I know its not all men, just most......
newtodaycare22 10:00 AM 04-14-2011
I started off teaching 2nd grade and had a very "girly" boy in the room. He got picked on occasionally.
During my first EVER parent-teacher conference, the dad opened with, "Just to let you know, Nicholas is told to hit other kids whenever he feels it is necessary. He WILL defend himself."
WOW. (Nothing had EVER been physical in my classroom, but that's besides the point. I responded with, "Just to let YOU know, that type of behavior will find him in the prinicipals office. There is zero tolerance for violence in my classroom-no matter what the reason."
It's a scary world
During my first EVER parent-teacher conference, the dad opened with, "Just to let you know, Nicholas is told to hit other kids whenever he feels it is necessary. He WILL defend himself."
WOW. (Nothing had EVER been physical in my classroom, but that's besides the point. I responded with, "Just to let YOU know, that type of behavior will find him in the prinicipals office. There is zero tolerance for violence in my classroom-no matter what the reason."
It's a scary world
daycare 10:01 AM 04-14-2011
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I have the exact opposite situations...the two 'hitters' I have are boys and when I tell the dads they seem to be really strict and NOT happy about their child's behaviors and if I tell the moms of both those kids, the one mom kinda rolls her eyes and the other one laughs and says "Boy will be boys" so in my case, it is the mom's who make excuses for their kids.
lol thats funny... I guess it just depends on the parent....ggeeerr it makes me so mad when they say that.... BOys will be boys... I don't care what sex you are you don't hit...........I have the exact opposite situations...the two 'hitters' I have are boys and when I tell the dads they seem to be really strict and NOT happy about their child's behaviors and if I tell the moms of both those kids, the one mom kinda rolls her eyes and the other one laughs and says "Boy will be boys" so in my case, it is the mom's who make excuses for their kids.
Missani 11:58 AM 04-14-2011
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Here, we do not hit or push and we do not burp or fart on purpose or without an "excuse me" and we do not pick our nose with out a tissue.
Am I the only one that laughed at this? I love it! Pretty much sums up the rules of life, Blackcat! Here, we do not hit or push and we do not burp or fart on purpose or without an "excuse me" and we do not pick our nose with out a tissue.
momatheart 03:13 PM 04-14-2011
Once again something that could be added to the handbook. Daycare rules that the children will ahear to.
1. No hitting. Not by the victim or the agressor. (sp?)
yadda yadda yadda.
1. No hitting. Not by the victim or the agressor. (sp?)
yadda yadda yadda.