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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Don't Like Smarty Pants...
Tdhmom 07:33 AM 02-21-2014
...I REALLY don't enjoy a 5 year old dcb being a smartie pants! He tries to prove me wrong ALL DAY LONG!!!! He corrects what everyone says, tries to correct things I say. I am so ready for this one to be out of here! May can not come soon enough :-/ I need the patience of 5 pre school teachers for this one boy. I've had him since august and counting down the days until summer when he is going to his grandmas for the summer!!!
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Maria2013 07:43 AM 02-21-2014
and that's why I no longer care for older kids
hang in there
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Blackcat31 08:06 AM 02-21-2014
Sometimes, you just have to straight up tell them to knock it off.

Let him know that his comments, corrections and opinions are not necessary.

Tell him YOU are the boss at your daycare. period.

If he continues, I would have him sit in time out.

Behavior like that is NOT cute, funny or comical in ANY way. Disrespecting adults is something I do NOT tolerate and him acting like that is disrespectful.

I would also be discussing this with his parent(s) too. Best they get it under control now before he begins to correct his teachers.
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Tdhmom 09:01 AM 02-21-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Sometimes, you just have to straight up tell them to knock it off.

Let him know that his comments, corrections and opinions are not necessary.

Tell him YOU are the boss at your daycare. period.

If he continues, I would have him sit in time out.

Behavior like that is NOT cute, funny or comical in ANY way. Disrespecting adults is something I do NOT tolerate and him acting like that is disrespectful.

I would also be discussing this with his parent(s) too. Best they get it under control now before he begins to correct his teachers.

This is the same child that I've talked to you about blackcat, back in august and September
I'm pretty sure dcm is the same way, unfortunately. I'm just holding out until school is out. I let dcb know everytime he does it that that is not how we treat our friends or adults.he has a hard time playing with other children so it's almost like he's putting them down for not including him. He's bossy when they do include him so I really don't blame them for telling him they don't want him to play with them.
My patience is wearing thin with him. Dcm bribes him to get green lights at school. He's VERY intelligent (already reading and sounding out words and writing them!). And he wants everyone to know just how smart he is ALL THE TIME. He just has a rough time with any kind of authority figure :-/ in pre school for 3 hours a day and has been sent to the principle 3 times this year if that gives you an idea of what I have to deal with
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Annalee 09:05 AM 02-21-2014
Originally Posted by Tdhmom:
This is the same child that I've talked to you about blackcat, back in august and September
I'm pretty sure dcm is the same way, unfortunately. I'm just holding out until school is out. I let dcb know everytime he does it that that is not how we treat our friends or adults.he has a hard time playing with other children so it's almost like he's putting them down for not including him. He's bossy when they do include him so I really don't blame them for telling him they don't want him to play with them.
My patience is wearing thin with him. Dcm bribes him to get green lights at school. He's VERY intelligent (already reading and sounding out words and writing them!). And he wants everyone to know just how smart he is ALL THE TIME. He just has a rough time with any kind of authority figure :-/ in pre school for 3 hours a day and has been sent to the principle 3 times this year if that gives you an idea of what I have to deal with
If the schools are there like they are here, the child and their mom are in for a RUDE AWAKENING when they enter kindergarten!
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Tdhmom 09:19 AM 02-21-2014
Originally Posted by Annalee:
If the schools are there like they are here, the child and their mom are in for a RUDE AWAKENING when they enter kindergarten!
My thoughts exactly!!!!!!
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MotherNature 01:34 PM 02-21-2014
I kind of feel for the kid. I was this kid. I wasn't bossy, but I was smarter than my peers, and frequently corrected my teachers. Being an adult doesn't automatically mean they're right. I would try to respectfully say stuff like, " The latest research says x.." but yeah, a lot of teachers disliked me. I was precocious, & bordered between charming & obnoxious. I started reading at 3, whizzed through schoolwork, and was chronically bored and forgotten. Eventually was put in special gifted programs to challenge me. Hope they have something like that there for him. He's not doing it to show off, I'd guess. He probably just doesn't realize others don't know as much 'stuff.' I absorbed minutiae and obscure trivia, and still to this day get amazed at the things people don't know that I consider really common knowledge.
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Blackcat31 01:39 PM 02-21-2014
Originally Posted by MotherNature:
I kind of feel for the kid. I was this kid. I wasn't bossy, but I was smarter than my peers, and frequently corrected my teachers. Being an adult doesn't automatically mean they're right. I would try to respectfully say stuff like, " The latest research says x.." but yeah, a lot of teachers disliked me. I was precocious, & bordered between charming & obnoxious. I started reading at 3, whizzed through schoolwork, and was chronically bored and forgotten. Eventually was put in special gifted programs to challenge me. Hope they have something like that there for him. He's not doing it to show off, I'd guess. He probably just doesn't realize others don't know as much 'stuff.' I absorbed minutiae and obscure trivia, and still to this day get amazed at the things people don't know that I consider really common knowledge.
This was my son.

But, no matter how smart or not smart DCK may be, there is a right way and a wrong way to correct an adult.

My son was always correcting his teachers too (some loved him and others didn't) but we (his dad and I) always tried to teach him to do this in a positive way. My DS should want to correct the teacher because the info was incorrect, NOT correct the teacher in a manner that showed disrespect or correction just to embarrass or prove himself right...kwim?

I took the OP's issue to be one of disrespect and that the DCB was not trying to be helpful but trying to be right.

Hope that makes sense....
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MotherNature 01:45 PM 02-21-2014
My husband chimed in too. He was that kid too. He's still kind of bossy, b/c the average population is dumber than him, and it's frustrating. The kid probably doesn't have great social skills, b/c he's around people his own age, but intellectually, he's way older than them, and finds it hard to relate, so he may be testing you to see if you can relate.
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Unregistered 05:39 PM 02-21-2014
This was/is my child. She is grasping the idea that sometimes it is okay just to know she is right in her head, without out the need to correct. Also learning how to provide correct information without it coming out as disrespectful or in a way that seems like a put down. She is getting the idea of picking her times to assert her correcting. I can get how it is hard for a child to assess when it is really needed to correct someone. In her eyes it is black and white - there is correct and incorrect. Learning the shades of gray and when to hold your toungue is taking some time. In her eyes it wasn't about winning or arrogance. Yet, she is learning that by winning the debate of being right all the time can leave you feel like you are loosing, because people tend not to enjoy your company so much if you insist on always letting them know when they are wrong.

Life lessons. The sooner learned the better.
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Tdhmom 05:50 PM 02-21-2014
I know he's bored here, and to be honest he is probably bored at school as well. He is very intelligent for his age. I love when we can get into a discussion (like tornados, yesterday for instance) and he was helping me explain to all the younger ones what a tornado was and how it forms and so on.
What drives me bonkers is when he corrects the littler ones on their speech. I have 3-3 yr olds. They are all learning new words everyday and some of their words they already know they don't say correctly. The way he goes about correcting them really upsets me. He makes them feel stupid and I explain multiple times a day they are learning new things everyday we need to be patient with them. As long as I know what they are saying when they are talking to ME then everything is fine.
Other times he'll think he hears other conversations and chime in and be completely off subject. I was asking one of my dcg's if she wanted me to fix her hair after breakfast, he pipes up "it's not SNOWING outside it's RAINING!" Just stuff like that all day, it really wears me down
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KidGrind 07:26 AM 02-22-2014
I don’t think it’s about anyone being smarter and others being dumber.

I don’t think he is correcting to be helpful. He is challenging what others say or do. It’s extremely disrespectful.

I’ve been corrected plenty of time in my life. I don’t mind being put in the right direction or path. Actually I’ve been quite grateful.

I took in a SAG for before and after school care as a drop-in. SAG sounds similar to this DCB. She tried to correct me every five minutes while in my care. She challenged most of the time. I am ALWAYS full when her mother calls.
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Starburst 12:48 PM 02-22-2014
Originally Posted by Tdhmom:
I know he's bored here, and to be honest he is probably bored at school as well. He is very intelligent for his age. I love when we can get into a discussion (like tornados, yesterday for instance) and he was helping me explain to all the younger ones what a tornado was and how it forms and so on.
What drives me bonkers is when he corrects the littler ones on their speech. I have 3-3 yr olds. They are all learning new words everyday and some of their words they already know they don't say correctly. The way he goes about correcting them really upsets me. He makes them feel stupid and I explain multiple times a day they are learning new things everyday we need to be patient with them. As long as I know what they are saying when they are talking to ME then everything is fine.
Other times he'll think he hears other conversations and chime in and be completely off subject. I was asking one of my dcg's if she wanted me to fix her hair after breakfast, he pipes up "it's not SNOWING outside it's RAINING!" Just stuff like that all day, it really wears me down
is it possible that he might be on the autism spectrum? It seems that while he is very smart that he doesn't understand social cues very well (not getting involved in other people's conversation). But then again he might be told all the time "you're so smart" and may think that people only like him because he's smart and feels pressured to prove how smart he is and like many children believes that being smart means always being right. Or he may just be trying to show everyone how smart he is for attention and not necessarily trying to be disrespectful.

If you truly do believe that he is bored there and you don't want to 'term' him, maybe try talking to the mom and telling her that you think he's outgrown your program and that you think he might do better in a different setting (like a transitional kindergarten where he would be around other 5 year olds who aren't quite ready for kindergarten yet). This might sound a little mean, but it might just be what he needs to 'put him in his place' to make him realize that everyone is smart in their own way and no one likes to feel stupid, or maybe it will at least mellow him out a bit.
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Tdhmom 08:29 PM 02-22-2014
Originally Posted by Starburst:
is it possible that he might be on the autism spectrum? It seems that while he is very smart that he doesn't understand social cues very well (not getting involved in other people's conversation). But then again he might be told all the time "you're so smart" and may think that people only like him because he's smart and feels pressured to prove how smart he is and like many children believes that being smart means always being right. Or he may just be trying to show everyone how smart he is for attention and not necessarily trying to be disrespectful.

If you truly do believe that he is bored there and you don't want to 'term' him, maybe try talking to the mom and telling her that you think he's outgrown your program and that you think he might do better in a different setting (like a transitional kindergarten where he would be around other 5 year olds who aren't quite ready for kindergarten yet). This might sound a little mean, but it might just be what he needs to 'put him in his place' to make him realize that everyone is smart in their own way and no one likes to feel stupid, or maybe it will at least mellow him out a bit.
He's a twin, so I have his sister here with him as well. They have come a long way from when they first started in august. She used to hide toys in the couch and would wait until someone turned their back on a toy to come up and snatch it. She is actually one of my best kids that can play without me intervening now! And then he would constantly try to get my attention but go about it negatively. For instance, he was sitting on the pot and unrolled an ENTIRE roll of toilet paper on the floor. Just things that he knew were wrong but would do it anyway. He spent a good amount of time in time out for the first month he was here. He would hit kids (mainly my son who's the same age), constantly jump on the couches (huge no no here). I couldn't take my eyes off of them.
They both still have their days but I can now make lunch without having to turn the tv on to mesmerize them so I can get lunch done without having to listen to whining/crying from whomever they were picking on.
I really think there are some underlying issues, but have no clue what or where to even start. I think they haven't been disciplined up until recently (single mom for most of their lives). Dcm is trying and is working with both his teacher and me. She doesn't get very many good reports from me. If my 3 yr olds are behaving better than my 5 yr olds, I don't sugar coat it. We walk to/from school twice a day. If I ask all the dck's to stay out of the snow so we stay dry/clean for school and he's the only one that purposely steps in the snow while he's looking at me, like he's seeing what I'll do if he doesn't listen, then that's not ok. If my 3 yr olds can follow that simple requests why the heck won't he just do it?! It's a constant 'testing me' battle with him everyday all day long
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Starburst 09:29 PM 02-23-2014
Originally Posted by Tdhmom:
He's a twin
That's a factor too, Twins tend to be delayed verbally and socially for many reasons: Never get treated as an individual, tend to cling to each other and don't really venture too far from one another. So it could be attention seeking maybe he wants to find his own identity; i.e. as the "smart one" especially if his sister is the "social one".
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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:52 AM 02-24-2014
Originally Posted by Tdhmom:
I know he's bored here, and to be honest he is probably bored at school as well. He is very intelligent for his age. I love when we can get into a discussion (like tornados, yesterday for instance) and he was helping me explain to all the younger ones what a tornado was and how it forms and so on.
What drives me bonkers is when he corrects the littler ones on their speech. I have 3-3 yr olds. They are all learning new words everyday and some of their words they already know they don't say correctly. The way he goes about correcting them really upsets me. He makes them feel stupid and I explain multiple times a day they are learning new things everyday we need to be patient with them. As long as I know what they are saying when they are talking to ME then everything is fine.
Other times he'll think he hears other conversations and chime in and be completely off subject. I was asking one of my dcg's if she wanted me to fix her hair after breakfast, he pipes up "it's not SNOWING outside it's RAINING!" Just stuff like that all day, it really wears me down
Every time he was involving himself in something that didn't concern him I would say, "Cooper worry about Cooper..." and walk him away somewhere else and let that child continue speaking to me. Can you tell I have one that is similar to that here (although, they are not brighter than every other crayon in the box they simply believe they are)?
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Tdhmom 06:06 AM 02-24-2014
Originally Posted by Starburst:
That's a factor too, Twins tend to be delayed verbally and socially for many reasons: Never get treated as an individual, tend to cling to each other and not really venture too far from one another. So it could be attention seeking maybe he wants to find his own identity; i.e. as the "smart one" especially if his sister is the "social one".
That makes sense! I actually have another set of twins that are 3 (boy and girl also) and believe it or not, both sets are cousins! Lol so if I upset one mom, I'll upset the other. I didn't think about all this before I accepted them.
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Tdhmom 06:09 AM 02-24-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
Every time he was involving himself in something that didn't concern him I would say, "Cooper worry about Cooper..." and walk him away somewhere else and let that child continue speaking to me. Can you tell I have one that is similar to that here (although, they are not brighter than every other crayon in the box they simply believe they are)?
I do say this...to everyone. They all jump on the bandwagon once they hear him cutting in to a conversation. So I'm on repeat with it
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countrymom 06:40 AM 02-24-2014
acually for him reading and writing for a 5 yr old really isn't smart here in ontario. Our school ciriculum accually makes the kids start with the basics when they are 4 yrs old. My dd was reading at the age of 4 when she entered school so school was so boring for her and considering she was the youngest in our family she was so much more advanced than most of the kids. But we still treated her like everyone else, but she was never rude to anyone.

so by the sounds of it, your problem kid has social issues and has also never been told or shown how to act. I think the more you reinforce how to talk positive the more it will click with him.
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Imagination's Creations 12:06 PM 02-24-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Sometimes, you just have to straight up tell them to knock it off.

Let him know that his comments, corrections and opinions are not necessary.

Tell him YOU are the boss at your daycare. period.

If he continues, I would have him sit in time out.

Behavior like that is NOT cute, funny or comical in ANY way. Disrespecting adults is something I do NOT tolerate and him acting like that is disrespectful.

I would also be discussing this with his parent(s) too. Best they get it under control now before he begins to correct his teachers.
YES! Everything she said! I also dont really care to care for school age children. More times than not, they know it all and have smarty comments for everything! My oldest daughter will be 5 in June. All my dck's are 3 and under but I have 2 school age. One of the school age I termed were especially like this and it really rubbed off on my daughter since they played together a lot over the summer.
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Tdhmom 12:25 PM 02-24-2014
Originally Posted by Imagination's Creations:
YES! Everything she said! I also dont really care to care for school age children. More times than not, they know it all and have smarty comments for everything! My oldest daughter will be 5 in June. All my dck's are 3 and under but I have 2 school age. One of the school age I termed were especially like this and it really rubbed off on my daughter since they played together a lot over the summer.
Oh I bet! That's what I think is the most difficult problem with doing daycare with my kids is all the bad habits seem to rub off on everyone else makes it feel like déjà Vu all day long!
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