The almost 14 month old I have had for only 3 full days (so far) is only ok with eating pureed food. He doesn't gag on lumps, he spits them out and refuses any more.

I make homemade meals and snacks for the dc kids, but I don't want to make baby food. Dcm first said she didn't want him to have jarred baby food, but now says that it's ok but not her first choice.

I give him lots of finger foods, and a bit of the regular meal (cut up very small), and he does try most of it but after tasting it for a bit, he spits it all out. Today I attempted to give him a jar of Gerber 8mo+ food and he spit it out and refused any more of it. The only thing I could get him to eat today with any success was fruity yogurt.

As far as I know, he is not delayed in any way, but it's very much like having a 6 mo old baby vs a 14 mo. I'm in Canada and our maternity leave is 12 months, so I'm used to caring for children 12 mo and older and he's the first child I've had who isn't eating table food (or at least toddler meals from the baby food aisle). I'm really at a loss and thinking about terming, but I don't want to term if this is something that isn't a big deal, or with some fairly easy workarounds.

Any feedback or advice is appreciated!

Reply

What do they feed at home? Maybe have Mom pack a lunch for a day or two so you can see what baby is eating and how it's presented.

Reply

Mom says that he eats homemade pureed food. She says that she gives him bits of solid food and then she shrugs and says that he's so picky.

He liked the taste of our lunch (macaroni, ground chicken, canned diced tomatoes, canned chopped green peppers, cheesy sauce) but didn't want to swallow it (sucked on each bit and then spit out).

Reply

I'd be referring them to a feeding therapist. At 14 months, a child should be capable of self feeding the same food the other kids are eating (barring a disability).

Reply

I'm from Canada as well so I do get what you mean about the getting the kids older. For myself I provide what's on the menu for baby's as well as older kids. Of course I cut smaller for the bsby and cook all veggies vs raw for the older ones. I would recommend that you put such a policy in place as well it makes it easier.

Talk to mom let her know you need z better understanding of what bsby eats each day. If she makes her own food it could be just about any texture or consesty. Have her bring the child's meals and snacks for the next few weeks. If what mom is sending turns out to be mostly pure as then it can take him some time to learn how yo do bigger pices. I would then offer him what she brings snd a bit of what your seating cut up small. (From thd sounds of it I bet he barley had any solids) and then just slowly we'd out mom's food. For example after finding out shat he eats by her bringing it for a couple weks. Then have her bring only lunch and you serve snack. That way even if dose not eat much of your food he will have eaten lunch.
I find some kids will move up to bigger pices fast while others won't. I know with my own kids my first was on pures as longer then my seconed who's 10 months and already eating chunks. The first I kept waiting for teeth and thdn realized HD could do the bigger pices (if soft) with no problem.

Good luck

Reply

I am in Canada, as well.

If a child comes to me and is still on purees, then parents need to provide that. Otherwise, they eat what we eat and I serve accordingly. At 14 months, though, i would be expecting him to eat mostly table foods and be self feeding.

I would request that mom be sending his meals and snacks until he is on table foods. I would also be letting him self feed as much as possible.

I would also express your concerns and suggest that she speak with a family doctor.

Reply

How does he do with dissolvables? If it dissolves in his mouth, he won't have to swallow a lump.

It sounds like you've tried some mashables (like cooked potato cubes or banana cubes), that he doesn't have to chew much. Would smaller pieces of those work?

Or how about smoothies with a straw cup + lid. Yogurt + milk + fruit. If a kid didn't eat much with me, it wouldn't stress me out much, but I would want him to predictably eat something.

If there isn't a real problem, personally, I would just tough it out with some kind of work-around (like dissolvables or whatever works). He'll most likely come around.

You might want to google some oral milestones if you want to kinda cover possible coordination or strength problems, or a feeding therapist could do that. But the therapy route is kinda exhausting (been there) and personally I'd rather go for a little patience and work-around.

Reply

I'm a little afraid that if I ask her to bring meals for him that she won't bring what he actually eats, but rather something that he still won't eat.

I'm also having a sleep issue as well with him. When we interviewed, I asked her how she puts him to bed. She said that she puts him to bed awake and he falls asleep on his own. I have been having a really hard time getting him to settle for naps (and also not disturb the other children) and have had to resort to swinging him side to side in my arms to get him drowsy enough that I can tuck him in and he goes to sleep. When I let her know that I was having issues, she says that she cuddle with him and gives him a bottle (and holds it for him) until he is drowsy, and then she tucks him in.

She's not been completely honest with me and so I don't trust her to actually bring what he really would eat.

Reply

I'm not going to do any of that. I consider that to be a parental responsibility. I'm actually leaning more towards terming. It's not just a feeding issue, there is also a sleep issue (that parent was not up front about), I've had some issues with her not bringing him with proper outdoor clothes (mostly not bringing any footwear at all for him, or just slippers, and my program has us outside 3-4 hours per day), and showing up 20-30 minutes earlier than arranged.

Reply

If mom is not being truthful and you can't trust her not to try and hide her parenting choices. Then I'd term.

Reply

It is really difficult when children are not prepared for a group care environment and even more so when parents are not truthful about home routines.

Are you in a trial period still? If you want to give this a shot at working, I would be up front with dcm and tell her that dcb is having some trouble adjusting to group care and you need to see improvement in the following areas of xy and z by x date.

Or I would just term. We all have our deal breakers. Sounds like there are a few for you.

Reply

I've gone back and forth all weekend about terming, and I think that I've decided not to term. I'm going to start sleep training the little guy. Not sure if I will be successful given that he's only here two non-consecutive days per week, but I'll give it my best. I'm going tell mom that I highly recommend that he be seen by a doctor (not swallowing solids), but I'll just feed him jarred baby food and give him lots of finger foods.

Ultimately, I'm typically only working 3 days per week these days, and he's only here for two of them. I can cope with the stress and shortening of my break (takes me longer to get him down for nap).

Reply

I have a 13mos dcg that mom still does bottles, pureed food, cereal at home. However she eats fine here with no issues, and LOVES food. Before I started feeding her "real" food she started gagging on the cereal mom sent. When I started feeding her what we ate cut up in small chunks she never looked back.

Of note: Mom still feeds minimal "real" food at home (as of last week). I discussed the transition here before I did it and mom was on board, but I'm not sure she fully grasped what I was planning. She made the comment about dcg gagging on the flavored cereal at home recently and when I said "Oh, well she had meatloaf here yesterday and loved it." I think it clicked.

She has also been a sleep issue baby. My schedule with her has changed on and off in the past, and it seemed like every time we made progress and then she went part time all the progress was just lost. We are doing full time from here out, and are currently re-training after a 4 day break.

Reply

She is not beiing honest with you. Most parents lie about sleeping and eating. She is feeding him purees at home and this is why he is not eating at your place. Also does she feed him a lot of whole milk? Many kids this age are being given way too much whole milk and it replaces calories they should be getting from meals. If he looks healthy then he IS eating something. You just need to find out what that is.

I had a 40 pound 18 month old and the mom swore she was the pickiest eater and wouldn't eat anything at home. She ate ok for me but she was obviously eating something to be so large! Turns out she was drinking 9 cups of whole milk a day. Yep you read that right

Reply