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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Can or Can’t? Possible Custody Issue...
daycare 10:37 AM 09-24-2012
I have a dcf that I have had for about 2.5 years.
Recently the DCP have split up and the mom moved out of state, leaving the child with the DCD. SO the DCD is local and so is the MIL.
At first the split up was ok, but got ugly really fast since the mom moved.
On Friday, DCD came to me and told me that the DCM told him that she is going to have her mom (MIL) pick up her daughter from daycare today and take her and bring her out to Michigan to the mom.
The dad was so scared that it might happen, that he kept his daughter home today.
I know that I cannot deny any parent the right to pick up their child from me, but what about grandparents? Can I deny the MIL the right to pick up her grandchild from care?
I did tell DCD w/o a court ordered custody agreement, I cannot with hold the child. He said that he now wants to pull the DCG and place her where the DCM and grandma do not know where she will be???????
Does anyone know, if I can with hold the child from the grandparents???? I don't want to get the middle of any of this and they have been very good about keeping me out of it until this past week.
any advice would be nice. Also, I am asking becuase I don't know. I don't need a lecture on how wrong it would be if I did or didn't adhere to DCD request.
thanks
Recently the DCP have split up and the mom moved out of state, leaving the child with the DCD. SO the DCD is local and so is the MIL.
At first the split up was ok, but got ugly really fast since the mom moved.
On Friday, DCD came to me and told me that the DCM told him that she is going to have her mom (MIL) pick up her daughter from daycare today and take her and bring her out to Michigan to the mom.
The dad was so scared that it might happen, that he kept his daughter home today.
I know that I cannot deny any parent the right to pick up their child from me, but what about grandparents? Can I deny the MIL the right to pick up her grandchild from care?
I did tell DCD w/o a court ordered custody agreement, I cannot with hold the child. He said that he now wants to pull the DCG and place her where the DCM and grandma do not know where she will be???????
Does anyone know, if I can with hold the child from the grandparents???? I don't want to get the middle of any of this and they have been very good about keeping me out of it until this past week.
any advice would be nice. Also, I am asking becuase I don't know. I don't need a lecture on how wrong it would be if I did or didn't adhere to DCD request.
thanks
Blackcat31 10:46 AM 09-24-2012
You are only legally obligated to release a child to a parent. Grandparents have no legal rights unless granted by the courts.
They are the same as anyone else in this case. For example if DCM sent a friend to retrieve child you can by law say no.
ONLY DCD and DCM have the right to take child from your care.
If I were you I would tell DCD that info as well as advise him to get a temp custody order inplace giving him sole custody until the courts can do otherwise. "Hiding" the child in a care facility that DCM is not aware of may only prove to be a bad move on dad's part when and if they do end up in court fighting over custody.
They are the same as anyone else in this case. For example if DCM sent a friend to retrieve child you can by law say no.
ONLY DCD and DCM have the right to take child from your care.
If I were you I would tell DCD that info as well as advise him to get a temp custody order inplace giving him sole custody until the courts can do otherwise. "Hiding" the child in a care facility that DCM is not aware of may only prove to be a bad move on dad's part when and if they do end up in court fighting over custody.
Hunni Bee 10:50 AM 09-24-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
You are only legally obligated to release a child to a parent. Grandparents have no legal rights unless granted by the courts.
They are the same as anyone else in this case. For example if DCM sent a friend to retrieve child you can by law say no.
ONLY DCD and DCM have the right to take child from your care.
If I were you I would tell DCD that info as well as advise him to get a temp custody order inplace giving him sole custody until the courts can do otherwise. "Hiding" the child in a care facility that DCM is not aware of may only prove to be a bad move on dad's part when and if they do end up in court fighting over custody.
I didn't know that. I thought anyone the parent authorized in writing to pick up the child had a legal right to the child...You are only legally obligated to release a child to a parent. Grandparents have no legal rights unless granted by the courts.
They are the same as anyone else in this case. For example if DCM sent a friend to retrieve child you can by law say no.
ONLY DCD and DCM have the right to take child from your care.
If I were you I would tell DCD that info as well as advise him to get a temp custody order inplace giving him sole custody until the courts can do otherwise. "Hiding" the child in a care facility that DCM is not aware of may only prove to be a bad move on dad's part when and if they do end up in court fighting over custody.
Blackcat31 10:56 AM 09-24-2012
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee:
I didn't know that. I thought anyone the parent authorized in writing to pick up the child had a legal right to the child...
They do normally but not in cases of custody or where the parents are no longer together and fighting over the child.I didn't know that. I thought anyone the parent authorized in writing to pick up the child had a legal right to the child...
This is when you revert back to custody laws and since DCD is obviously against the MIL coming to retrieve child then you have to go with the parent only rule.
daycare 10:56 AM 09-24-2012
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee:
I didn't know that. I thought anyone the parent authorized in writing to pick up the child had a legal right to the child...
Yes that is what I thought too, this is why I asked... of course the MIL is on the emergency contact form as well as authorized for pick up......I didn't know that. I thought anyone the parent authorized in writing to pick up the child had a legal right to the child...
I did tell DCD it was not a good idea to pull the child and hide her. I told him it looked really bad on his part if he did that....
I also did tell him to get a custody agreement, which he is....
Thanks both of you
Blackcat31 11:00 AM 09-24-2012
You have to realize too that the people on the child emergency or permission-to-pick-up file is usually people BOTH parents agree to do the picking up.
This child's situation and living arrangements have changed, therefore I would protect my own butt and ONLY allow the legal guardians (parents) pick up.
This child's situation and living arrangements have changed, therefore I would protect my own butt and ONLY allow the legal guardians (parents) pick up.
daycare 11:09 AM 09-24-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
You have to realize too that the people on the child emergency or permission-to-pick-up file is usually people BOTH parents agree to do the picking up.
This child's situation and living arrangements have changed, therefore I would protect my own butt and ONLY allow the legal guardians (parents) pick up.
sounds like a plan... I did plan to have it this way,but just wanted to make sure that I was within my own rights of doing so..You have to realize too that the people on the child emergency or permission-to-pick-up file is usually people BOTH parents agree to do the picking up.
This child's situation and living arrangements have changed, therefore I would protect my own butt and ONLY allow the legal guardians (parents) pick up.
thanks cat
Crystal 02:25 PM 09-24-2012
You do NOT have to release the child to the grandparent. I would type up a letter (from dad to you) stating that grandmother is not allowed to pick the child up, effective immediately, and that if she shows up to call him. Have him signh it. I would also have him give you a new list of emergency contacts.
daycare 02:27 PM 09-24-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
You do NOT have to release the child to the grandparent. I would type up a letter (from dad to you) stating that grandmother is not allowed to pick the child up, effective immediately, and that if she shows up to call him. Have him signh it. I would also have him give you a new list of emergency contacts.
crystal,,,,,You do NOT have to release the child to the grandparent. I would type up a letter (from dad to you) stating that grandmother is not allowed to pick the child up, effective immediately, and that if she shows up to call him. Have him signh it. I would also have him give you a new list of emergency contacts.
do you know if the DCM who lives out of state can give me written permission via email or mail to release the child to her mother since they are both on the forms??
sharlan 02:30 PM 09-24-2012
Wow, what a mess for you.
I would call licensing again.
I would call licensing again.
Blackcat31 02:34 PM 09-24-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
crystal,,,,,
do you know if the DCM who lives out of state can give me written permission via email or mail to release the child to her mother since they are both on the forms??
I would venture a no here since how do you REALLY know that it is the mother who was sending the e-mail?crystal,,,,,
do you know if the DCM who lives out of state can give me written permission via email or mail to release the child to her mother since they are both on the forms??
Plus, I think her moving to another state and residing there means she has voided her end of the contract with you since you...kwim?
I also think that unless she had a (temporary or permanent) agreement with the DCD about coming back, I would think moving to another state would qualify as abandonment and DCD shouldn't have trouble getting a temporary custody order at all.
Crystal 03:42 PM 09-24-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
crystal,,,,,
do you know if the DCM who lives out of state can give me written permission via email or mail to release the child to her mother since they are both on the forms??
Well, she can, BUT that doesn't mean you have to release the child to her. If she does that, I would simply reply that DCD is not comfortable with her picking up and because he is the parent you are now working with, that you refuse to release the child to anyone other than who has instructed you to release to.crystal,,,,,
do you know if the DCM who lives out of state can give me written permission via email or mail to release the child to her mother since they are both on the forms??
Chipmunk 05:27 PM 09-24-2012
While this is all getting sorted out, lock your doors at all times. The last thing you need is the grandma showing up and it being a huge scene for the poor child, seems like she's going through enough right now.
daycare 05:34 PM 09-24-2012
Originally Posted by Chipmunk:
While this is all getting sorted out, lock your doors at all times. The last thing you need is the grandma showing up and it being a huge scene for the poor child, seems like she's going through enough right now.
my doors automatically lock at all times, CA large LIC law. SO I am not worried about that.While this is all getting sorted out, lock your doors at all times. The last thing you need is the grandma showing up and it being a huge scene for the poor child, seems like she's going through enough right now.
Thanks to all of you that responded. I still have not heard back from licensing, but have decided to just follow your advice from here. I hope that licensing does call me back, I would just like to hear what they have to say and want to double check on this.
I feel really bad for this dad. He is a really super sweet guy and his wife is really starting to create a lot of unnecessary drama (like there ever is a time when it is necessary...lol) I just feel bad for the DCD and DCG, as she is the one who will be affected by it the most in the long term.
I just got off the phone with DCD and I reassured him that grandma or any other person would not be allowed to take DCG from my care, unless he tells me in person along with a signed letter otherwise. I told him that if anyone came and tried to pick her up that I would call the police and then call him right away.
He said he felt better about it and would bring DCG tomorrow, but was going to stay local in the area for work because he still thinks something bad is going to happen... Ugh I can not even imagine being in his shoes.
Crystal 03:14 PM 09-26-2012
Just saw this stroy....happened near me today:
http://blogs.sacbee.com/crime/archiv...d-by-moth.html
http://blogs.sacbee.com/crime/archiv...d-by-moth.html
daycare 03:18 PM 09-26-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Just saw this stroy....happened near me today:
http://blogs.sacbee.com/crime/archiv...d-by-moth.html
OMG crystal my worst nightmare...Just saw this stroy....happened near me today:
http://blogs.sacbee.com/crime/archiv...d-by-moth.html
BTW I talked to LIC again this morning and they told me that even if the DCD was to fill out the paper work again without putting the mom on it, that does not remove the mothers rights. Only a court order can stop the mother or Gma from their rights ANF further more, the G-ma is on the paper as an authorized pick up, which means that even though my PHB rules state that I will not release any child without written authorization first, that if the gma came to pick up the child I have to give the child to her.....The parents already gave their permission when they filled out the LIC form 700.....
Ughhhhhhhhh Great job at helping me keep the kids safe..........