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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>What To Do About The Late Family?
Brooksie 09:47 AM 10-11-2013
So I' sitting here trying to think of how to approach this family. 2 days ago they were 45 minutes late picking up and were charged a $60 late fee. Yesterday they were late again but only by 2 minutes which is technically a $2 late fee. I did NOT get that fee this morning at drop off which makes me think dcd (late pick up) did not tell dcm (drop off) that he was late again (she would kill him). I really need to address this with them but not sure how to go about it. None of my other families EVER pick up late. Ever. This is a returning family, I watched dcb from 4-7 mo, he is now 11 and has been back for 3 weeks. In the past 3 weeks they have been late 5 times. 2 of them were in his FIRST WEEK. I'm really frustrated with them and they just don't seem to understand the importance of getting here BEFORE closing time. The worst part is dcd isn't even working right now so I know he can pick up on time...

So at pick up today I think I am going to notify them of the 2 dollar late fee but tell them I am going to waive it this one time but expect to be paid promptly if it ever happens again. I also think I need to give them the 'walmart speech' (If walmart closes at 10:00 they do not allow you to walk in to shop at 10:00, you need to get there early and make sure you're done and out so they can lock the doors at said closing time. Its no different here. My day is done at 5:30 so you need to be here at least 5 minutes before in order to be clocked out and on your way so I can lock my doors at 5:30.). I have already talked to them about the importance of picking up on time, as I am basically a single mom (live in boyfriend but works late) and have responsibilities I need to meet after working a 10 hour day. They know dd does not have a late bedtime and I only have about 2.5-3 hours after closing to do errands, shopping, dinner bath and bed time. They still continue to pick up late or walk in right at 5:30...

Is it unreasonable to put a family on probation for being late? How would that work? What should I say? Any advice?
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butterfly 10:22 AM 10-11-2013
With that many late pickups, I wouldn't allow any more late pickups. I would talk to them about it and tell them NO MORE! If they are late again, they will be termed.

A disclaimer of sorts: I don't charge late fees for late pickups, I term. My family is too important to me to be missing ball games and music lessons because I'm waiting for another child's parents to get their act together.
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daycare 10:31 AM 10-11-2013
I know it can be hard, but you just need to be honest with them. I had this happen just recent with a family that just split up.

I told them that if they can't make it here by the child's pick up time that they need to find someone who can make it here by that time. Even though this child gets picked up 30min before my closing, this child is my first arrival and I am not going to keep them here any longer.

Do you have set contracted hours that they signed and agreed to?
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daycarediva 10:32 AM 10-11-2013
I don't have any real advice, but I am in the SAME situation. I got mycheckinkids to keep tabs on all parents and to make them more accountable for the actual times. A dcm was writing her CONTRACTED times on the sign in/out sheet instead of the ACTUAL time and then playing dumb when I told her repeatedly. Trying to say that they weren't 15 minutes late, they were 5, etc.

They now CHECK IN upon entering and CHECK OUT when they are leaving. I have stopped them from checking out as soon as they step in the door because they were trying to avoid the late fee.

This stopped 1 family from chatting past closing time. It's different if the daycare provider/therapist is $1/minute!

This stopped 1 family from allowing dck to show them around, hang out, and then act unruly/refuse to put shoes on/refuse to leave when Mom FINALLY said it was time to go.

This stopped 1 family from picking up late. They got over $20 in fees the first week and they haven't picked up late or dropped off early ONCE this entire week.

BUT, I have one family who are continually early dropping off (open at 7, they contracted at 7:30 and they are ALWAYS between 7:15-7:20) and they are ALWAYS my last to leave. They contracted for a 5:30 pu, and that puts them AT my 10 hour/day max. Due to early drop offs AND late pick ups, they ALWAYS are over 10 hours AND past contracted hours. Unfortunately, I cannot afford to replace them AND dck is pretty awesome so I just want them to get their sh** together.

DCM has a job that requires staying late sometimes, but dcd has alluded to that only being necessary because dcm takes a long lunch and fiddles around instead of working. DCD, however, does NOT work that late (to 4:30 and within a 30 minute drive). Tuesday DCM sent me a text that she would be late, but before 6. I flat out said No, not okay. Can someone else get him? Dad was here at 5:59. That was a $44 late fee (they were early that morning as well. $1 per minute over 10 hours AND/OR past closing). This week, their late/ot fees are well over $100 (can't remember the exact total).

I DONT WANT the 100. I want my closing time respected!!!! I was late to class and got embarrassed in front of the class by my professor Tue AND I missed dinner with my family and the ONLY 30 minutes I could have spent with them ALL DAY.
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butterfly 10:38 AM 10-11-2013
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I DONT WANT the 100. I want my closing time respected!!!! I was late to class and got embarrassed in front of the class by my professor Tue AND I missed dinner with my family and the ONLY 30 minutes I could have spent with them ALL DAY.
exactly why I don't allow it.
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Brooksie 11:31 AM 10-11-2013
I think I have decided that at pick up I am going to discuss the issue with them. Let them know the last thing they do before walking out is to clock out, not clock out at soon as they walk in. Also that I am giving them 3 warnings. The Late pick ups HAVE to stop. Next time they have a late pick up, fees double, 2nd time, fees triple, third time is immediate termination. Sound reasonable? I have a waiting list for this kids position. I have no concerns about losing the spot.
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daycare 11:40 AM 10-11-2013
Originally Posted by Brooksie:
I think I have decided that at pick up I am going to discuss the issue with them. Let them know the last thing they do before walking out is to clock out, not clock out at soon as they walk in. Also that I am giving them 3 warnings. The Late pick ups HAVE to stop. Next time they have a late pick up, fees double, 2nd time, fees triple, third time is immediate termination. Sound reasonable? I have a waiting list for this kids position. I have no concerns about losing the spot.
If I had a waiting list, I would be talking to them and letting them know that the next time you are going to term. I would stop giving them any more chances
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MyAngels 12:25 PM 10-11-2013
Originally Posted by butterfly:
With that many late pickups, I wouldn't allow any more late pickups. I would talk to them about it and tell them NO MORE! If they are late again, they will be termed.

A disclaimer of sorts: I don't charge late fees for late pickups, I term. My family is too important to me to be missing ball games and music lessons because I'm waiting for another child's parents to get their act together.


Definitely this x 100. I also wouldn't give them even 1 more chance. They need to realize that you're completely serious and done with their bad behavior.
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littlemissmuffet 02:26 PM 10-11-2013
I term after three late pick ups...
Because I have this rule, I have never had someone pick up late more than once or twice
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Brooksie 03:47 PM 10-11-2013
Talked to dcd at pick up (he walked in at 5:30 on the dot) and he got very defensive, saying things have been crazy for them and he didn't think the late pick ups were a problem. I told him what I would be doing and he got flustered and it was pretty difficult. So I just sent this message to dcm to make sure she understands as well... think this was ok?

"Hey M*****, I wanted to touch base with you to make sure everyone is on the same page. I talked to T** today about the late pick ups and they really need to stop. Today he was here at 5:30 on the dot, which is better, but the idea is that every one is clocked out and out the door by 5:30. I mentioned to him that I have not had a late pick up in over 3 months and since you guys have started we've already had 4 ranging from 2 minutes to 45. I cannot accept that. I was shocked when he arrived 2 minutes late Thursday after we had the Wednesday issue. 2 minutes may not seem like a lot but its a matter of respect. I am available for 10 hours of the day and I expect to be able to be done by 5:30. So while this is the part of my job that I hate, I have to put my foot down. Since I do understand that some things do come up and I try to be as reasonable as possible, since you have already had 4 late pick ups in your first month of care, I can only allow 3 more. The next time you guys are late the late fees double. The second time, its tripled. And the 3rd is going to be an immediate termination of our contract. I would hate to have that happen after we have waited so long to get you guys back in here, but I can't be disrespected or taken advantage of. Every one needs to make sure they are here with enough time to be clocked out and out the door by 5:30 and it doesn't seem to be a problem for any one else. My couple hours at the end of the night with (DD) are busy and few. And I know you understand how important that time is. So I hate to be the barer of bad news but it shouldn't be a problem if you guys can get here within my hours. Thanks for understanding"

UHG, sometimes having a backbone is so hard!
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daycare 04:03 PM 10-11-2013
Originally Posted by Brooksie:
Talked to dcd at pick up (he walked in at 5:30 on the dot) and he got very defensive, saying things have been crazy for them and he didn't think the late pick ups were a problem. I told him what I would be doing and he got flustered and it was pretty difficult. So I just sent this message to dcm to make sure she understands as well... think this was ok?

"Hey M*****, I wanted to touch base with you to make sure everyone is on the same page. I talked to T** today about the late pick ups and they really need to stop. Today he was here at 5:30 on the dot, which is better, but the idea is that every one is clocked out and out the door by 5:30. I mentioned to him that I have not had a late pick up in over 3 months and since you guys have started we've already had 4 ranging from 2 minutes to 45. I cannot accept that. I was shocked when he arrived 2 minutes late Thursday after we had the Wednesday issue. 2 minutes may not seem like a lot but its a matter of respect. I am available for 10 hours of the day and I expect to be able to be done by 5:30. So while this is the part of my job that I hate, I have to put my foot down. Since I do understand that some things do come up and I try to be as reasonable as possible, since you have already had 4 late pick ups in your first month of care, I can only allow 3 more. The next time you guys are late the late fees double. The second time, its tripled. And the 3rd is going to be an immediate termination of our contract. I would hate to have that happen after we have waited so long to get you guys back in here, but I can't be disrespected or taken advantage of. Every one needs to make sure they are here with enough time to be clocked out and out the door by 5:30 and it doesn't seem to be a problem for any one else. My couple hours at the end of the night with (DD) are busy and few. And I know you understand how important that time is. So I hate to be the barer of bad news but it shouldn't be a problem if you guys can get here within my hours. Thanks for understanding"

UHG, sometimes having a backbone is so hard!
WOW...... I don't think I could have said any of that.....I am not good at being that bold
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Brooksie 04:04 PM 10-11-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
WOW...... I don't think I could have said any of that.....I am not good at being that bold
Was it too much?!
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daycarediva 04:12 PM 10-11-2013
I am sending a similar email RIGHT NOW to a dcf.

Same dcf mentioned above, tonight they were 24 minutes late.
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Scout 04:18 PM 10-11-2013
No, it wasn't too much. I don't think I would've had the guts to do that either though and I give you big kudos!!
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Brooksie 04:18 PM 10-11-2013
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I am sending a similar email RIGHT NOW to a dcf.

Same dcf mentioned above, tonight they were 24 minutes late.
Good luck!
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daycare 04:26 PM 10-11-2013
Originally Posted by Brooksie:
Was it too much?!
Can I be honest with you. I think it sounded a little emotionally driven, but that is just my opinion. If it is your personality then as long as you got the job done, that is all that matters. BUT like I said, I am like a ***** cat....
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Sugar Magnolia 04:29 PM 10-11-2013
Originally Posted by Brooksie:
Was it too much?!
's first. But.....
Maybe a tad too much. All perfectly valid points though. But your email was a little emotional. I try to wait 24 hours before hitting "send" if I'm upset about something. Then review to make sure it's "just the facts."
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. You have every right to be upset. I hope this gets resolved for you.
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daycare 04:39 PM 10-11-2013
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia:
's first. But.....
Maybe a tad too much. All perfectly valid points though. But your email was a little emotional. I try to wait 24 hours before hitting "send" if I'm upset about something. Then review to make sure it's "just the facts."
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. You have every right to be upset. I hope this gets resolved for you.
yes, just the facts.....what I do is so that I can get it out and feel better. I will sit and write out a letter that is normally all full of emotion. Then I just let it sit. Hours later after I have time to really think about it, I will then sit down and take out all of the emotional stuff and rewrite it to only reflect the facts.
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Brooksie 04:40 PM 10-11-2013
I'm pretty casual with this particular family, as we have kept touch over their absence. Me and dcm chat often via fb and she vents about her job and talk about surface personal stuff. I took this approach simply because that's how we normally talk to each other, as peers. Most of my families, actually all of my families, are between the ages of 22-28 and while my families respect me as a professional they also find comfort in the age similarities I think. Every one always stays a bit longer to chat and are always respectful and understanding of my policies (except this situation which is why its so hard for me). I'm just now into my second year of business and they started when I was a little more lax (although they had shorter hours so it wasn't a problem). Now that I'm finding my backbone and sticking stronger to my policies I think they were just, idk... expecting something else despite being aware of my progress. I would hate to see them go, as I have developed a good relationship with them, but this is my business and these are my hours. Its all in growth.
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Laurel 05:31 PM 10-11-2013
Originally Posted by Brooksie:
I'm pretty casual with this particular family, as we have kept touch over their absence. Me and dcm chat often via fb and she vents about her job and talk about surface personal stuff. I took this approach simply because that's how we normally talk to each other, as peers. Most of my families, actually all of my families, are between the ages of 22-28 and while my families respect me as a professional they also find comfort in the age similarities I think. Every one always stays a bit longer to chat and are always respectful and understanding of my policies (except this situation which is why its so hard for me). I'm just now into my second year of business and they started when I was a little more lax (although they had shorter hours so it wasn't a problem). Now that I'm finding my backbone and sticking stronger to my policies I think they were just, idk... expecting something else despite being aware of my progress. I would hate to see them go, as I have developed a good relationship with them, but this is my business and these are my hours. Its all in growth.
I don't think it was too much. I personally like the conversational way of telling someone they are breaking the rules. I think it comes across as firm but kind rather than sounding like one is quoting a rule book.

Laurel
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butterfly 07:53 PM 10-11-2013
Originally Posted by Laurel:
I don't think it was too much. I personally like the conversational way of telling someone they are breaking the rules. I think it comes across as firm but kind rather than sounding like one is quoting a rule book.

Laurel

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MyAngels 09:59 PM 10-11-2013
Originally Posted by Laurel:
I don't think it was too much. I personally like the conversational way of telling someone they are breaking the rules. I think it comes across as firm but kind rather than sounding like one is quoting a rule book.

Laurel


I didn't see anything particularly emotional about it. You stated the problem, your expectations, how it can be resolved and the consequences if it's not resolved. Good job
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April 12:18 AM 10-12-2013
This has also been one of my major issues lately. Because of this I am switching to contracted hours as well as going to begin charging a $1.00/minute late fee. I feel like telling these parents.....A lack of planning on your behalf, does not constitute an emergency on mine! I do not want to lose any of my families however I have been pushed to the point that they will either respect my policies, family and home or I will term and replace them. I have been lenient for far too long which is exactly what has gotten me into this mess. It's these types of things that make me NOW understand why I always heard about providers getting "burnt out." To be honest.....it's not so much that the kids burn me out.....it's the parents!
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se7en 10:15 AM 10-12-2013
I am not sure how 1-5 minutes can be picked out per family . Obviously, everyone may have different times on their car clock, wristwatch, etc, than you may have on your daycare clock or cell phone. You say you close at 5:30, but that is when you expect everyone to be out of your house ? Then maybe you could say you close at 5 :15, then they would be gone by 5 :30. Plus someone mentioned that they have the parents sort of " clock out" when they are walking out the door with their child. Then those parents need to get to your home , gather child/ren, discuss with you whatever needs to be discussed, and out the door all before closing time or you charge ? Unless the children are their over 9 hours, or parents work p/t , how can they manage this ? Most people work 8 hours, get an hour lunch, and commute varies. My husband works some 11 hour days. I work 9, including lunch. Then I drive half an hour each way. I have no children in daycare, but the way your home center runs would not work for us. How does any of this work out for your families. ? Some people can't rush out of the office, store , etc when the clock hits 5. I think daycare centers have less rules about when to drop off and pick up.
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Familycare71 06:08 PM 10-12-2013
The only thing I wouldn't have added was info about what other families do. Bottom line your pick up time either works for them or doesn't.
I am surprised tho that you expect families to be out the door at your pick up time. I seem pick up time as the latest families can walk through my door- but maybe I am off on this! Def makes me go hmmmm
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Familycare71 06:10 PM 10-12-2013
Originally Posted by se7en:
I am not sure how 1-5 minutes can be picked out per family . Obviously, everyone may have different times on their car clock, wristwatch, etc, than you may have on your daycare clock or cell phone. You say you close at 5:30, but that is when you expect everyone to be out of your house ? Then maybe you could say you close at 5 :15, then they would be gone by 5 :30. Plus someone mentioned that they have the parents sort of " clock out" when they are walking out the door with their child. Then those parents need to get to your home , gather child/ren, discuss with you whatever needs to be discussed, and out the door all before closing time or you charge ? Unless the children are their over 9 hours, or parents work p/t , how can they manage this ? Most people work 8 hours, get an hour lunch, and commute varies. My husband works some 11 hour days. I work 9, including lunch. Then I drive half an hour each way. I have no children in daycare, but the way your home center runs would not work for us. How does any of this work out for your families. ? Some people can't rush out of the office, store , etc when the clock hits 5. I think daycare centers have less rules about when to drop off and pick up.
The thing about that tho is this family agreed to her hours and policies... So if it didnt work they shouldn't have signed- that IMO is completely on the dcf as long as it was shared at enrollment.
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blandino 06:53 PM 10-12-2013
Originally Posted by se7en:
I am not sure how 1-5 minutes can be picked out per family . Obviously, everyone may have different times on their car clock, wristwatch, etc, than you may have on your daycare clock or cell phone. You say you close at 5:30, but that is when you expect everyone to be out of your house ? Then maybe you could say you close at 5 :15, then they would be gone by 5 :30. Plus someone mentioned that they have the parents sort of " clock out" when they are walking out the door with their child. Then those parents need to get to your home , gather child/ren, discuss with you whatever needs to be discussed, and out the door all before closing time or you charge ? Unless the children are their over 9 hours, or parents work p/t , how can they manage this ? Most people work 8 hours, get an hour lunch, and commute varies. My husband works some 11 hour days. I work 9, including lunch. Then I drive half an hour each way. I have no children in daycare, but the way your home center runs would not work for us. How does any of this work out for your families. ? Some people can't rush out of the office, store , etc when the clock hits 5. I think daycare centers have less rules about when to drop off and pick up.
But the fact that it wouldn't work for you (or anyone), means you shouldn't choose her childcare for their family. I used to have parents walk through the door at 5:30 and take 10 minutes to get their child together and out the door. That's an extra 10 minutes added on to my work day, which isn't fair when I have set hours. My working hours shouldn't be dependent in when someone feels like/is able to leaving work. If I stayed 10 minutes late for each family each day, that is an extra hour out of my week.

I operate the same was as Brooksie. I open my door at 7:00 and close it at 5:30.

It sounds very nice to be as flexible as you, but I have been taken advantage of one too many times.
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se7en 10:14 PM 10-12-2013
Well, I work in a daycare center. Many times I am even leaving later than I hoped to.
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blandino 11:05 PM 10-12-2013
Originally Posted by se7en:
Well, I work in a daycare center. Many times I am even leaving later than I hoped to.
I completely forgot to make an important point, and probably my biggest reason for being so firm with departure times. I close at 5:30, and a lot of times have places to be at 6:00, especially places like the bank or a store that closes earlier in the evening. If a parent takes 15 minutes to leave, I am going to be late or miss my appointment. I need to plan on being able to leave work at a specific time. And if I start allowing parents to come/stay 5/10/15 minutes after closing, it is bound to happen on a day when I need to leave. So I choose to keep it strict, so that I can count on what time I am off.

I think it would be nice to be more flexible, but added up - I work at least 1 extra workday per week than my clients, and I really don't want to add to that number.
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Cradle2crayons 11:16 PM 10-12-2013
Originally Posted by blandino:
I completely forgot to make an important point, and probably my biggest reason for being so firm with departure times. I close at 5:30, and a lot of times have places to be at 6:00, especially places like the bank or a store that closes earlier in the evening. If a parent takes 15 minutes to leave, I am going to be late or miss my appointment. I need to plan on being able to leave work at a specific time. And if I start allowing parents to come/stay 5/10/15 minutes after closing, it is bound to happen on a day when I need to leave. So I choose to keep it strict, so that I can count on what time I am off.

I think it would be nice to be more flexible, but added up - I work at least 1 extra workday per week than my clients, and I really don't want to add to that number.
I totally get that. My kids all play sports, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, my daughter is training for two mini marathons.... When I say I close at x then I expect to be walking out the door five minutes later. End of story.

Of course, in my case, since I do afternoon shift, my daycare kids all go to sporting events with us lol
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pandamom 03:41 AM 10-13-2013
Originally Posted by se7en:
Well, I work in a daycare center. Many times I am even leaving later than I hoped to.
It may depend on the center. The center I work at will charge late fees for lingering parents. We used to have a DCM who would show up at 1800 (our closing time) and look at his artwork on the wall, have him show her what he did and try to talk to the caregiver about his day. The caregiver would be trying to close her room while the DCB was running around playing with toys that were just put away while DCM was standing around. After about a week of this, front desk talked to DCM- she kept doing it until she started getting charged the late fee of $1/minute. DCM and DCB have been out of the building by 1800 everyday

A big part of enforcing leaving by 1800 is then the center must pay the caregiver overtime if they haven't clocked out yet. So a DCM who lingers everyday costs the center money.
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JoseyJo 06:57 AM 10-13-2013
Originally Posted by Familycare71:
The only thing I wouldn't have added was info about what other families do. Bottom line your pick up time either works for them or doesn't.
I am surprised tho that you expect families to be out the door at your pick up time. I seem pick up time as the latest families can walk through my door- but maybe I am off on this! Def makes me go hmmmm
That is why we are changing our hours to 5:30- we have a few who will randomly p/u (ended up being about x2 a week sometimes 1 family sometimes 3) right at 6 and then want to chat for 15 min. Tried to get them to stop but they keep finding reasons to stay so now they have to p/u by 5:30 or pay a late fee!
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Blackcat31 08:18 AM 10-13-2013
Originally Posted by Brooksie:
Talked to dcd at pick up (he walked in at 5:30 on the dot) and he got very defensive, saying things have been crazy for them and he didn't think the late pick ups were a problem. I told him what I would be doing and he got flustered and it was pretty difficult. So I just sent this message to dcm to make sure she understands as well... think this was ok?

"Hey M*****, I wanted to touch base with you to make sure everyone is on the same page. I talked to T** today about the late pick ups and they really need to stop. Today he was here at 5:30 on the dot, which is better, but the idea is that every one is clocked out and out the door by 5:30. I mentioned to him that I have not had a late pick up in over 3 months and since you guys have started we've already had 4 ranging from 2 minutes to 45. I cannot accept that. I was shocked when he arrived 2 minutes late Thursday after we had the Wednesday issue. 2 minutes may not seem like a lot but its a matter of respect. I am available for 10 hours of the day and I expect to be able to be done by 5:30. So while this is the part of my job that I hate, I have to put my foot down. Since I do understand that some things do come up and I try to be as reasonable as possible, since you have already had 4 late pick ups in your first month of care, I can only allow 3 more. The next time you guys are late the late fees double. The second time, its tripled. And the 3rd is going to be an immediate termination of our contract. I would hate to have that happen after we have waited so long to get you guys back in here, but I can't be disrespected or taken advantage of. Every one needs to make sure they are here with enough time to be clocked out and out the door by 5:30 and it doesn't seem to be a problem for any one else. My couple hours at the end of the night with (DD) are busy and few. And I know you understand how important that time is. So I hate to be the barer of bad news but it shouldn't be a problem if you guys can get here within my hours. Thanks for understanding"

UHG, sometimes having a backbone is so hard!
I'm sorry Brooksie but this literally made me laugh out loud....

Seriously, they have had 4 late pick ups in one month AND you are still going to give them 3 more chances?!?

IMHO, THAT is the issue.

You can't be lax about your own policies and then turn around and try to be "strict" or tough about them because now the behavior is bothersome.

As a parent, I'd be so confused.

Often times, managing daycare parents is like managing the kids; firm rules/boundaries and immediate consequences.

When you make exceptions and then only speak up AFTER it becomes an issue a BIG part of the problem becomes your responsibility...kwim?

I totally understand that you were trying to be understanding but I think that allowing them to still have 3 more chances is going to come back and bite you.

Another aspect of their lateness is the failure to call....why didn't they at least call you and give you advance notice that they were caught up at work or in traffic or whatever PRIOR to actually being late. THAT is an issue as well.
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Brooksie 08:36 AM 10-13-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I'm sorry Brooksie but this literally made me laugh out loud....

Seriously, they have had 4 late pick ups in one month AND you are still going to give them 3 more chances?!?

IMHO, THAT is the issue.

You can't be lax about your own policies and then turn around and try to be "strict" or tough about them because now the behavior is bothersome.

As a parent, I'd be so confused.

Often times, managing daycare parents is like managing the kids; firm rules/boundaries and immediate consequences.

When you make exceptions and then only speak up AFTER it becomes an issue a BIG part of the problem becomes your responsibility...kwim?

I totally understand that you were trying to be understanding but I think that allowing them to still have 3 more chances is going to come back and bite you.

Another aspect of their lateness is the failure to call....why didn't they at least call you and give you advance notice that they were caught up at work or in traffic or whatever PRIOR to actually being late. THAT is an issue as well.
I discussed it with them the other 4 times they were late. The first time was about 5 minutes, the second was the day after that and I had a talk with dcm about it and she had no idea dcd was late the day before. After that I changed my late fee policy to $1.00/per minute. Two weeks later no one showed up. Dcm didn't answer my text and when I got through to dcd he was sitting at home thinking dcm had picked him up. They were 45 minutes late. I should have termed but I know some things happen. Miscommunication. They were extremely apologetic and assured me it would not happen again and when dcd showed up 2 minutes late the following day and then again right at 5:30 on Friday. I gave them the 3 chance warnings simply because emergencies do happen and I don't want to be taken advantage of but I also don't want to term someone for an emergency, and want to be able to stick to my word. If they can't save those last 2 late options for emergencies then I'm sure they will be gone within a month. Oh well.
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Blackcat31 08:56 AM 10-13-2013
Originally Posted by Brooksie:
I discussed it with them the other 4 times they were late. The first time was about 5 minutes, the second was the day after that and I had a talk with dcm about it and she had no idea dcd was late the day before. After that I changed my late fee policy to $1.00/per minute. Two weeks later no one showed up. Dcm didn't answer my text and when I got through to dcd he was sitting at home thinking dcm had picked him up. They were 45 minutes late. I should have termed but I know some things happen. Miscommunication. They were extremely apologetic and assured me it would not happen again and when dcd showed up 2 minutes late the following day and then again right at 5:30 on Friday. I gave them the 3 chance warnings simply because emergencies do happen and I don't want to be taken advantage of but I also don't want to term someone for an emergency, and want to be able to stick to my word. If they can't save those last 2 late options for emergencies then I'm sure they will be gone within a month. Oh well.
I totally understand where you are coming from but in all honestly I don't think things are going to change with them. You just proved it again (bolded above) or rather they did. They assured you it wouldn't happen again and it did...the VERY next day.

This tells me that yes, there is a communication issue but it certainly isn't yours...it seems to be theirs. Do both parents work right up until your 5:30 closing time? How far do they travel to get to your house?

If they are just cutting things too close or can't guarantee that they can leave work in enough time to get to your house, then they should never have agreed to your policies.

I also don't understand the lack of communication....if they both have a cell, why couldn't they have called and atleast said "hey, I am running a couple mintues late but am on my way."?

It just really appears that they don't respect you at all.

As far as the mom not answering your texts, I would have texted her, waited 15 minutes for a reply and then immediately began calling her back up people.

I support you in the fact that you aren't terming this family but I don't think they deserve 3 more chances. I think you need to be firm now and require them to have plan in place for the times they KNOW they are going to be late.

I would also let them know you will call/text but if you don't receive a reply within xx amount of time, you will call their emergency contacts for pick up. I'd start this process in enough time to have that person at your home and out the door by closing time.

~BC
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Brooksie 09:08 AM 10-13-2013
Dcd isn't even working right now, that's the worst part....and they just live on the other side of town. 10 min drive max if you hit all the red lights.
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Unregistered 09:09 AM 10-13-2013
Perhaps their scheduled pick up times needs yo be changed to 6 pm daily and charged accordingly if that is something that you would consider doing, that would give them plenty of time to pick up and maybe you wouldn't have to counting the late minutes?
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Unregistered 09:13 AM 10-13-2013
Oh sorry, if dad is not working there is no excuse for the late pick up, he needs to be at yoyr door daily by 5:20 no excuses!
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Brooksie 09:13 AM 10-13-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:398566:
Perhaps their scheduled pick up times needs yo be changed to 6 pm daily and charged accordingly if that is something that you would consider doing, that would give them plenty of time to pick up and maybe you wouldn't have to counting the late minutes?
I don't extend my pick up time for anyone, especially someone who doesn't already respect my time. I have 2.5 hours after work. Before DD goes to bed, and most of that time is spent running errands, cooking and cleaning. Damned if I'm going to lose more of that time to disrespect. And lord knows if I give them til 6 they'll take it as 6:10...
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Rockgirl 10:33 AM 10-13-2013
Originally Posted by Brooksie:
I don't extend my pick up time for anyone, especially someone who doesn't already respect my time. I have 2.5 hours after work. Before DD goes to bed, and most of that time is spent running errands, cooking and cleaning. Damned if I'm going to lose more of that time to disrespect. And lord knows if I give them til 6 they'll take it as 6:10...
I agree--it's a respect issue, not a scheduling issue. Your day is plenty long! Bottom line.....if your hours don't work for them, they shouldn't have enrolled with you.
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blandino 10:42 AM 10-13-2013
Originally Posted by Brooksie:
I don't extend my pick up time for anyone, especially someone who doesn't already respect my time. I have 2.5 hours after work. Before DD goes to bed, and most of that time is spent running errands, cooking and cleaning. Damned if I'm going to lose more of that time to disrespect. And lord knows if I give them til 6 they'll take it as 6:10...


Like I said earlier, I work a full extra work day compared to most of my parents and even my friends. Yes, I chose my job and the hours- but my hours also allow them to go to their jobs. To be disrespectful of the few hours I have off in a day is the real problem for me.
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lovemykidstoo 11:02 AM 10-13-2013
Originally Posted by Brooksie:
I don't extend my pick up time for anyone, especially someone who doesn't already respect my time. I have 2.5 hours after work. Before DD goes to bed, and most of that time is spent running errands, cooking and cleaning. Damned if I'm going to lose more of that time to disrespect. And lord knows if I give them til 6 they'll take it as 6:10...
Exactly. They don't need extended hours, especially if dad is not working. Totally ridiculous. I do agree also though that 3 more times is way too much. Unfortunately, you already told them that so it's too late, but that is way too much. I don't do late pay. I have only had 1 family the very first week of care that was 10 minutes late and I told dcd when he arrived that it was unexceptable and that it was never to happen again and that was the end of that. I work 10 hours a day and my evenings are precious to me and my kids events are precious to me. I do not ever work over my 10 hours for any reason.
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Josiegirl 04:20 PM 10-13-2013
God knows I'm too lenient about p/u times(and everything else lately!) but if dcd isn't even working, wow, would I ever be ticked off!! Good time for you to make sure they stick to the rules of the contract. Gee, you'd think dcd might want to be with his kid once in awhile. Don't parents think their kids know they're in dc instead of at home hanging with dad or mom? I don't get that kind of thinking. Even paying for daycare so they figure they've got to send the kids anyways. Money is more important than the dad child bond?
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Brooksie 05:15 PM 10-13-2013
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
God knows I'm too lenient about p/u times(and everything else lately!) but if dcd isn't even working, wow, would I ever be ticked off!! Good time for you to make sure they stick to the rules of the contract. Gee, you'd think dcd might want to be with his kid once in awhile. Don't parents think their kids know they're in dc instead of at home hanging with dad or mom? I don't get that kind of thinking. Even paying for daycare so they figure they've got to send the kids anyways. Money is more important than the dad child bond?
My feelings exactly Poor baby is only 11 mo old and they are my first drop off 5 days a week and latest and last pick up. He's with me 10 hours a day 5 days a week. With dcd not working I expected him to pick up early some days, or at least around 5 maybe... but no. He has to pick up other son (6) at the Y down the street and picks him up AFTER dcb, so you know he's getting there last minute too.
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