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  #1  
Old 03-11-2013, 09:00 PM
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Default Brand New Here And Closing Daycare...Need Advice!

I wish I had found this board sooner! Today I finally gave in and decided to close my daycare. My fiancÚ has been begging me almost since I opened 11 months ago. Simply it is not working out! My two daughters are 5 and 7 and devastated I miss all their school functions and im tired all the time. They feel like I care for the daycare kids more then them. I have 22 month old son who has special health needs right now, tons of appointments trying to figure out a stomach problem and up coming oral surgery. The biggest problem is he is so misbehaved during daycare. He throws toys, hits and pushes. He is miserable he happy when the other kids aren't there. Recently he hurt a kid I care and I'm scared all the time he will again. I spoke to he doctor and he says he needs TLc from me right now. I also don't like sharing my house, I'm planning my wedding, my plate is so over full. I don't have to work, we will survive without it. I'm terrified to close. I am close with the parents and know they are relying on me. One of my daycare kids has a deposit down to go to a new daycare in august because when the dad found out I needed two weeks off for my wedding he freaked out because couldn't cover the time. Now I feel like what will they do? And a girl I have is suppose to start a preschool in the fall and I'm like what will they do now? I have to close however I am so scared of confrontation and disappointing people. I'm just looking for support so I can move on and care for my family.
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Old 03-11-2013, 09:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Daycare86 View Post
I wish I had found this board sooner! Today I finally gave in and decided to close my daycare. My fiancÚ has been begging me almost since I opened 11 months ago. Simply it is not working out! My two daughters are 5 and 7 and devastated I miss all their school functions and im tired all the time. They feel like I care for the daycare kids more then them. I have 22 month old son who has special health needs right now, tons of appointments trying to figure out a stomach problem and up coming oral surgery. The biggest problem is he is so misbehaved during daycare. He throws toys, hits and pushes. He is miserable he happy when the other kids aren't there. Recently he hurt a kid I care and I'm scared all the time he will again. I spoke to he doctor and he says he needs TLc from me right now. I also don't like sharing my house, I'm planning my wedding, my plate is so over full. I don't have to work, we will survive without it. I'm terrified to close. I am close with the parents and know they are relying on me. One of my daycare kids has a deposit down to go to a new daycare in august because when the dad found out I needed two weeks off for my wedding he freaked out because couldn't cover the time. Now I feel like what will they do? And a girl I have is suppose to start a preschool in the fall and I'm like what will they do now? I have to close however I am so scared of confrontation and disappointing people. I'm just looking for support so I can move on and care for my family.
This is going to sound harsh, but it always helps me. If push came to shove, your DCF would look out for themselves before they would look out for you. If sending their children to you was creating as much stress for them, as this situation is for your family, they wouldn't hesitate to find alternate childcare. So you need to look out for your family first and foremost, as your DCF would do for themselves.
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Old 03-11-2013, 09:13 PM
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This is going to sound harsh, but it always helps me. If push came to shove, your DCF would look out for themselves before they would look out for you. If sending their children to you was creating as much stress for them, as this situation is for your family, they wouldn't hesitate to find alternate childcare. So you need to look out for your family first and foremost, as your DCF would do for themselves.
Thanks. I am just looking for some support. I feel awful and am scared but I am putting my family first and I probably should have months ago. I have been reading over this board and is awesome. I wish I found it sooner so I could hav grown a backbone!
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Old 03-11-2013, 09:18 PM
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Just tell them! They may be upset ~ but it is your life, your home, and your decision. Once it is finally over, you are going to feel a hge weight lift off of you. Congratulations on the wedding, and on making the decision that is best for your family.
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Old 03-11-2013, 09:22 PM
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Your family always comes first, and you need to do what is best for you and them! They will understand, even if they are angry at first. Just let them know that you care about them but need to do this for your family. Good luck!!
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Old 03-11-2013, 09:24 PM
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Another option for you to consider would be to open a before/after school only daycare. That would require you to be open for way less hours. You would also have the days free for your son's appointments and the kids would be too big for your son to accidentally hurt. It's just an idea.
Sometimes it's best to just take a break though. Leaving in good status always allows you to come back later and reopen. I did. A few years ago, I got pregnant with twins, was put on bedrest, had just gotten married, and was preparing to move. I had to close. It broke my heart but I knew I needed to be on bedrest and put my family first. I closed, waited until my life settled down and my twins turned 2, and then my hubby and I re-opened as a team. We've been open for just over 6 months now.
The daycare parents took the news very well for me. Most of them said they figured I was going to close with so many changes in my life. I'm sure your daycare parents will understand too. They wouldn't have chosen you if you weren't a good mom and good mom's put their kids first. Hang in there!
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Old 03-11-2013, 09:27 PM
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Thanks everyone. It's really helping. I need to work up the nerve by Friday! I went to give notice I am closing April 12th... I had taken off the next week for school vacation week so that technically makes it 5 weeks notice but only 4 weeks tops left.
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Old 03-11-2013, 09:33 PM
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Originally Posted by JLH View Post
Another option for you to consider would be to open a before/after school only daycare. That would require you to be open for way less hours. You would also have the days free for your son's appointments and the kids would be too big for your son to accidentally hurt. It's just an idea.
Sometimes it's best to just take a break though. Leaving in good status always allows you to come back later and reopen. I did. A few years ago, I got pregnant with twins, was put on bedrest, had just gotten married, and was preparing to move. I had to close. It broke my heart but I knew I needed to be on bedrest and put my family first. I closed, waited until my life settled down and my twins turned 2, and then my hubby and I re-opened as a team. We've been open for just over 6 months now.
The daycare parents took the news very well for me. Most of them said they figured I was going to close with so many changes in my life. I'm sure your daycare parents will understand too. They wouldn't have chosen you if you weren't a good mom and good mom's put their kids first. Hang in there!
I thought about before or after school care but my concern is my daughter whose 7. She has a really hard time dealing with me doing daycare especially when I have kids that are around her age here ( snow days and school breaks) I think a lot has to do with 3 out of 5 weekends they are an hour away with their dad and it feels like our quality time is limited. She talks about it in therapy alot I am currently open 7:15-4. Of course those hours in the am are severely abused and I have no backbone. I thought school year only daycare so all no school days I'm free but it doesn't help with a lot of appointments and school functions. I just want to end things well. I feel like these people have very high expectations of what I " owe" to them but my family is severely suffering
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Old 03-12-2013, 05:12 AM
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Here I go being the odd (wo)man out again. It's understandable your children do not like the attention other children are getting from their mom. I'm having a hard time your fiance' is not supporting you in your business & is just adding to the stress you are already under. Do you verbalize any negativity toward his livelihood? Why would he?

Any new business is going to take it's toll & time away from family. Maybe I'm from a different generation, but kids will adjust if you don't give into the whining just to whine thing. Ask yourself: Will it be better for your children to go to a 9 to 5'r & not see you at all? Will you have to take time off for appointments & will your new employer be sympathies to my family? Can't you just hire a PT person to come over while you do what you need to do, when you need to do it?

In the end, it's up to you. If it's not for you .., it's not for you. Worry about you & not what someone expects of you. Good luck!
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Old 03-12-2013, 06:17 AM
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Here I go being the odd (wo)man out again. It's understandable your children do not like the attention other children are getting from their mom. I'm having a hard time your fiance' is not supporting you in your business & is just adding to the stress you are already under. Do you verbalize any negativity toward his livelihood? Why would he?

Any new business is going to take it's toll & time away from family. Maybe I'm from a different generation, but kids will adjust if you don't give into the whining just to whine thing. Ask yourself: Will it be better for your children to go to a 9 to 5'r & not see you at all? Will you have to take time off for appointments & will your new employer be sympathies to my family? Can't you just hire a PT person to come over while you do what you need to do, when you need to do it?

In the end, it's up to you. If it's not for you .., it's not for you. Worry about you & not what someone expects of you. Good luck!
I will become a stay at home mom so no worries about what an employer will say and if anything ill go back to waitressing one night a week. My fiancÚ does support me and has but it's going a toll on everyone in the house and I am not happy as well.
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Old 03-12-2013, 06:19 AM
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I will become a stay at home mom so no worries about what an employer will say and if anything ill go back to waitressing one night a week. My fiancÚ does support me and has but it's going a toll on everyone in the house and I am not happy as well.
And I tried for 6 months to find an assistant and I don't trust a stranger in my home and no one I know is available or wants to be an assistant!
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Old 03-12-2013, 06:44 AM
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It really sounds like you have made your mind up so I would stop worrying about the DC families. You do what you have to do, just like the daycare families would do what they have to do. Once you make the announcement you will feel the relief you need You are giving them plenty of notice to make other arrangements!
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Old 03-12-2013, 06:51 AM
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You could give them the names of some other daycares in the area, so they have a starting point to looking for new care. If I could close and just be a stay-at-home mom, I would do it!

I also see you are from MA. I know that we have had a terribly long, snowy winter. Come March, I am literally dragging myself to the daycare to work. It has been a rough stretch of weather, and it is definitely depressing. I totally understand why you feel it is time to be done! Good Luck to you!
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Old 03-12-2013, 06:51 AM
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Running a daycare is not for everyone, and kudos to you for realizing that it's just not a good fit for your family .

Tell them in a professional and caring way and be done with it. They will understand I'm sure. Change is always hard, but in this case it's for the better.

Take care.
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Old 03-12-2013, 06:53 AM
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Good for you for putting your family first. Sounds like you are giving your families plenty of time to find other care, so you are being more than fair to them.
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Old 03-12-2013, 07:00 AM
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Running a daycare is not for everyone, and kudos to you for realizing that it's just not a good fit for your family .

Tell them in a professional and caring way and be done with it. They will understand I'm sure. Change is always hard, but in this case it's for the better.

Take care.
Thank you. I do feel like its just not a good fit for us. If it was for everyone... Everyone would have a daycare. I can be a stay at home mom and will prob go back to waitressing one night a week eventually just to get out.
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Old 03-12-2013, 07:33 AM
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I am exactly going through the same as you ... only 2 weeks ahead of you!

I even posted a thread http://www.daycare.com/forum/showthr...=decided+close

The time between reaching the decision to close and having the last kid leave your daycare is very draining... I'm doing the countdown and trying to keep focused on March 30th to help me "going"... less than 3 weeks to go.
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Old 03-12-2013, 07:44 AM
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I am exactly going through the same as you ... only 2 weeks ahead of you!

I even posted a thread http://www.daycare.com/forum/showthr...=decided+close

The time between reaching the decision to close and having the last kid leave your daycare is very draining... I'm doing the countdown and trying to keep focused on March 30th to help me "going"... less than 3 weeks to go.
I decided 24 hours ago and I am mentally drained and over emotional. However its relieving to see I am not the only person in the world going through this
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Old 03-12-2013, 08:25 AM
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13 weeks for me! Only 12 more Mondays...but who's counting? Can't WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 03-12-2013, 09:44 AM
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I recently decided to close as well. I started daycare last May. I am at 8 days left and counting. I have 5 weeks notice not thinking they'd actually all five weeks but whatever. It is what it is. My part time family was done last Friday though. You will feel a million times better once you give notice. Good luck!
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Old 03-12-2013, 09:50 AM
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I recently decided to close as well. I started daycare last May. I am at 8 days left and counting. I have 5 weeks notice not thinking they'd actually all five weeks but whatever. It is what it is. My part time family was done last Friday though. You will feel a million times better once you give notice. Good luck!
Thank you
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Old 03-12-2013, 11:59 AM
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I decided 24 hours ago and I am mentally drained and over emotional. However its relieving to see I am not the only person in the world going through this
You'll find there is one thing that gets immediately better when you make the dicision to close: Now when one of the kids becomes REALLY difficult to me, I think with an inner smile -"thank you for making me feel REALLY GREAT about my decision to close" - LOL One boy hit me several times today during a very big tantrum (he wanted to keep smaking a toy train against a wall while looking at me waiting for my reaction ... after several warnings I took the toy away and he gave me several puches on my legs and arms). 2 weeks ago, this event would have "devestad me"... but not today
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Old 03-12-2013, 12:55 PM
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My last day is THIS Friday, its also my due date. Both cannot come fast enough, I'm exhausted! It was hard giving notice to my families because they have been great and I know they didn't want to go anywhere else but they understood and yours will too. I've kept in touch with a few moms, one has already given notice at the new daycare and keeps saying how they miss us. I start to feel bad and then I imagine having another dck here when I can barely move and I immediately feel better :-)
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Old 03-12-2013, 05:48 PM
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I had a horrible day today. I'm not telling them I'm closing until Friday so they can digest it over the weekend. I had to put my foot down a little with one kid an talked to the parent and I have to go about things as normal however I think it's a little obvious I'm worn out I wish I grew a backbone a long time ago but I think once I tell the parents I'm closing I will feel a lot better then I do now! I have a feeling they will leave quick too.
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