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Old 10-03-2018, 08:17 AM
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Sorry, I feel like I always have the dumb, obvious answer, questions. Right now DCG4 is sing spelling DCG3's name...J.O.S.I.E, J.O.S.I.E, over and over again. Not obnoxiously, just quietly because she knows it is driving DCG3 crazy! DCG3 is whining/crying loudly asking her to stop it. My first response is to tell her to stop, but these 2 fight ALL THE TIME (it goes both ways) and I feel like they need to figure it out and learn how to just walk away from each other without my intervention.

How do you handle this?
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Old 10-03-2018, 08:31 AM
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OMG! I ignored and DCG3 stopped crying and DCG4 moved on. Now DCG4 picked up a toy that she knows DCG3 always wants to play with. She goes up to DCG3 and says "look what I have", very sassy and in her face. I again decide to ignore DCG3 crying. DCG4 hands the toy to another child and says "save this for me." She doesn't even want the toy, just doesn't want DCG3 to have it
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Old 10-03-2018, 09:51 AM
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Singing something purposely to annoy someone is rude but not enough to earn a punishment or consequence in my honest opinion but the choice to purposely get a toy, waive it in her face and then have someone else "save" it for her simply to spite another child is bordering on bullying and I would put a stop to that immediately and firmly so the child knows it is not acceptable behavior.

If they are playing together and annoying each other I absolutely agree that they need to work it out themselves but what you described in your second post would not be tolerated nor ignore and would be swiftly have a consequence attached.
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Old 10-03-2018, 10:09 AM
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I would've given that toy right over to Josie and told dcg exactly why she lost the privilege of playing with it. And if she continues to act the way she is then I'd give her VERY little in the way of toys for the rest of the day, maybe a couple books, a puzzle and her own separate space to play where no one else is allowed to step on, such as a small blanketed area. Until she can treat everyone a little kinder, she hasn't earned the right to be with them, especially if this is an ongoing problem.
JMO
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Old 10-03-2018, 10:53 AM
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I handle it the same way I would handle a sibling squabble that is driving me bonkers and tell them both to knock it off or consequences for both. This way you are not taking sides.

As long as I can tolerate it and am not annoyed I usually stay out of it....unless there is bullying behavior happening. This doesn’t sound like that to me.
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Old 10-03-2018, 12:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
I handle it the same way I would handle a sibling squabble that is driving me bonkers and tell them both to knock it off or consequences for both. This way you are not taking sides.

As long as I can tolerate it and am not annoyed I usually stay out of it....unless there is bullying behavior happening. This doesn’t sound like that to me.


Bullying is a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally and repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort. Bullying can take the form of physical contact, words or more subtle actions.
https://www.apa.org/topics/bullying/

What the DCG4 is doing IS the definition of bullying behavior
Her intention isn't to be the one in charge or to have all the toys or even to be the star of the show...it's to intentionally cause the other child discomfort. Her sole purpose to to upset the other child. That's bullying.
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Old 10-03-2018, 12:43 PM
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Thank you for the responses. I love all of your wisdom!
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Old 10-03-2018, 12:44 PM
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I have consequences for purposely or relentlessly annoying someone. We are 11 people in a small room for 10 hours. Which is stressful enough. Feeling like you can't get away from someone who is bothering you is anxiety-inducing and I understand that.
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