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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Binky for 2.5 yr Old?
MamaJ 10:36 AM 08-16-2011
Ok, so would you allow a binky addicted 2.5 yr old girl have her binky just for nap time, or would you not?

she's very addicted...comes every day with it in her mouth, and gets it immediately when her mom or grandma comes to get her (sometimes she asks for it, sometimes they just dig in the bag and pop it in her mouth). she has terrible "binky' teeth also.

for a while I just took it away completely and she was doing well, but she's been part-time for the summer and nap time is pretty hard on her (I think b/c she's been part-time?).

should i just let her have it during nap time?

How do you explain to parents if they protests about not letting their child have their beloved binky during nap time? kids sleep separated (I only have 2 extra in addition to my own 2).
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Zoe 10:41 AM 08-16-2011
Does she want it during nap time? If not, then don't give it to her.

If she does want it, does she make a fuss that disturbs the others? As long as she isn't keeping anyone else from sleeping, I personally wouldn't give it to her, but that's me. I think she's too old for it and it can affect her teeth (sounds like it already is) and her speech development.

I have a 3 1/2 yo dcg who is still on the bottle at home! She has never asked for it here. She uses an open cup with me and has never complained. But the second dcm shows up it's "where's my bottle?!?"

My suggestion is to try to wean her from it at your house because I doubt you'll get the parents to take it away until they're ready.
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MamaJ 10:49 AM 08-16-2011
she does ask for it during nap time. for a long time she wouldn't fuss and just go to sleep...but this summer she's here just 1-2 days a week for naps and will scream and cry for her binky AND her mommy (since she knows mom gives her the binky) for a good 10 minutes. 10 mins isn't bad...so I tolerate it...just don't know what to say if she complains to mom and mom asks me about it? what's my excuse?

I don't want her to have it simply b/c I think she's too old for it, and I know can sleep fine w/o it...but can't really say that to mom.

maybe it'll get better when she starts full-time again in a couple weeks.
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laundrymom 10:59 AM 08-16-2011
Originally Posted by MamaJ:
she does ask for it during nap time. for a long time she wouldn't fuss and just go to sleep...but this summer she's here just 1-2 days a week for naps and will scream and cry for her binky AND her mommy (since she knows mom gives her the binky) for a good 10 minutes. 10 mins isn't bad...so I tolerate it...just don't know what to say if she complains to mom and mom asks me about it? what's my excuse?

I don't want her to have it simply b/c I think she's too old for it, and I know can sleep fine w/o it...but can't really say that to mom.

maybe it'll get better when she starts full-time again in a couple weeks.
Why can't you tell mom? I am vey up front about things with the patents here. I would mention it.

I have one who has paci teeth, one day aunt picked up. Asked where Hr paci was. I said she doesn't use one here. I got an excuse from mom the next day saying Joan was confused, Ellie doesn't take a paci, our sisters girl Emmy does. I said, while smiling, well Emmy needs to wean off it because Ellies teeth are coming in crooked from it. ,.. Mom turned red, smiled, and said. I'm busted. I just put my hand on her shoulder and said, yeah but theres no paci police so your good. That was it. Next week girl comes in and says no more pacis for me!!!! I said ,... Great, now go potty and double tie your shoes we are heading outside.
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MamaJ 11:04 AM 08-16-2011
well mom knows...she called me one time about 11am in a panic b/c she realized her 'binky' was in her car seat...I said "oh that's OK, she doesn't use it here anyway".

but now that DCG is having problems and crying without it...and really fighting about it I don't know what to say should mom suddenly have a problem with this no binky thing.

or, i COULD just let her have it. but frankly, binky's and kids over 2 (or 1 1/2 for that matter) just annoy me. totally not necessary.
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erinalexmom 11:06 AM 08-16-2011
Ok now Im getting ready to sound like an old meanie here but my dck parents do this crap all the time, not a binky but blankies and things of that nature. I just wait till parents go on thier way and when they kid isnt looking I take it away and put it in my foyer out of site. I will give the blankies at naptime but then they get put right back up. Toys from outside of daycare also straight in the diaperbag until mom comes and its STILL in the diaper bag at pickup. I never make a comment to the parents because it in my contract about no outside toys and blankies only being used at nap. At this age they really dont usually have the verbal skills to explain it to mom anyway and I feel like "if you choose to ignore my contract I choose to ignore your poor parenting choices and instead make choices of my own! So in other words I would just tell the child "we dont have our binky's at Miss Heathers. Your such a big girl you dont need that sillly old binky. Now its night night time. Goodnight" I had 1 girl broke from naptime binky in 2 days. She really didnt need it, it was just encouraged by parents for thier convience.
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erinalexmom 11:11 AM 08-16-2011
what i ment to say was "at this age the girl probably wont tell her mom on you because she probably lacks the verbal skills to put all that into words. So she wouldnt say "Miss so and so took my binky and wouldnt let me have it at naptime" That would be alot of words for a two year old! So when my dck are this little I just put it away kindly and they dont tell mom. Now when they get to the point of telling mom thats when I tell mom, read the contract
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harperluu 11:15 AM 08-16-2011
Originally Posted by MamaJ:
Ok, so would you allow a binky addicted 2.5 yr old girl have her binky just for nap time, or would you not?

she's very addicted...comes every day with it in her mouth, and gets it immediately when her mom or grandma comes to get her (sometimes she asks for it, sometimes they just dig in the bag and pop it in her mouth). she has terrible "binky' teeth also.

for a while I just took it away completely and she was doing well, but she's been part-time for the summer and nap time is pretty hard on her (I think b/c she's been part-time?).

should i just let her have it during nap time?

How do you explain to parents if they protests about not letting their child have their beloved binky during nap time? kids sleep separated (I only have 2 extra in addition to my own 2).
My daughter is 2.5 and has a Nuk she uses at nap time and bed. It's a comfort item obviously and my dd needs a lot of comfort. We had plans to take it from her near her 2nd birthday, but she was going through some severe separation anxiety. So we started an ECFE class to help with separation.

I'm not necessarily proud of the fact that she still has it, but her separation anxiety has finally subsided. She knows she can't have it during the day and she's responsible for putting it in the drawer when she wakes up in the morning and after nap.

My problem is, that her big sis is going to college in a few weeks. My 2.5 year old is attached at the hip with her and I anticipate a transition period that may not be a big deal, but is still a transition. Plus she'll be moving rooms into a big girl bed once that happens.

The Nuk is not affecting her teeth at all. So my opinion is with your dcg, if she doesn't ask for it at nap then I wouldn't give it to her. And I wouldn't let her have it during wake time, but there may be life changes or transitions that might be affecting her having it still at 2.5 in the first place. None of my other kids had the Nuk after 2 and usually much earlier.
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Meyou 11:16 AM 08-16-2011
I would give it to her at naptime for now but wean her from it once she's back fulltime. It won't be hard then.
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mismatchedsocks 11:23 AM 08-16-2011
If she is just part time, and its just for nap, well I would just give it to her since mom seems to do it all the time anyway. Now if she were fulltime, there would be no binky at all, and I bet she would be fine with that, no complaints. She is used to it, with mom, and being part time with you, shes just not used to your rules again.

I have babies who come with pacis, and i get the call, i have the paci in the car. really, its ok. here they barely use it. I go in at nap time and pull out of my one babies mouth once he is asleep!
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DCMom 11:29 AM 08-16-2011
I'm pretty upfront about blankets and pacifiers to parents. I don't care if they have them, but I want a set that is daycare-exclusive so we don't have that power struggle at the door. I ask parents to leave the travel set in the car Then they only have them at naptime.

Most of my dc kids start here as infants, so it's a non-issue because they are trained from about 9 mos that their blankets and pacifiers live in their portacribs. If they still have/use them when they graduate to mats at two or so, then they live in their cubby.
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MommyMuffin 11:40 AM 08-16-2011
Originally Posted by MamaJ:
Ok, so would you allow a binky addicted 2.5 yr old girl have her binky just for nap time, or would you not?

she's very addicted...comes every day with it in her mouth, and gets it immediately when her mom or grandma comes to get her (sometimes she asks for it, sometimes they just dig in the bag and pop it in her mouth). she has terrible "binky' teeth also.

for a while I just took it away completely and she was doing well, but she's been part-time for the summer and nap time is pretty hard on her (I think b/c she's been part-time?).

should i just let her have it during nap time?

How do you explain to parents if they protests about not letting their child have their beloved binky during nap time? kids sleep separated (I only have 2 extra in addition to my own 2).
What does binky teeth look like? My DD will be 3 at the end of the month. She has her binky at nap time and when she goes down for the night. I have been trying for 6 months to get her off it. Well last week I just took it away. It has been really hard...she just cries and cries. It may seem mean but I just told her it is lost.

That is my own kid though. With Dc kids I wouldnt fight it, its not worth it. I just think, I am not their mom, I dont want to fight with the kid about nap time without binky. The parents can deal with that...because let me tell you...my little girl has shown me it is drama!!
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nannyde 11:47 AM 08-16-2011
I don't use them here. Not a binky fan
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Meeko 12:27 PM 08-16-2011
HATE 'EM. Nasty, ugly, baby plugs.

"If it makes a peep....plug it".

I used to allow them in day care many years ago. No more.

I have seen frantic parents turning over the cushions on my couch and racing through my house without an invitation looking for the all important, life stablilizing binkie. Life as we know it will be over without it. Baby MUST have the binkie!!!!! OMG!!!!!!! Parental meltdown!

Then they look at me as if I have misplaced their child's oxygen......

I have had parents want me to stay open late looking for the darn things and one couple even told me they would be back "in the morning" (SATURDAY!!!) to look for it.

Oh no you won't!!!!!!!

It's almost funny if it wasn't so pathetic.

In 25 years of day care I have never found a child who NEEDS a binkie. All I see are PARENTS who need the binkie. It's habit.

Put baby in bed. Plug.

Put baby in cat seat. Plug.

Grocery shopping. Plug

Baby hungry? Plug before food.

I 'd love to burn every single one of them.
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sassysue 01:08 PM 08-16-2011
I let all my parents know I do not give pacifiers to children over a year(actually earlier,like really never) That being said I had a daycare boy,age 3 that came in everyday with one in his mouth.I wanted to scream,he had binky mouth big time.The parents were are disorganized so I just kept throwing them away,hoping they would think they misplaced them.
Then when they ran out I was like,there is no way they are going to actually go to the store,purchase a binky for a three year old.I mean that's ridiculous! Nope,they did.
I ended up throwing away over 25 binky's.They never asked and I never told
When he left here at almost 4 he still had it.
I cannot stand paci's for amyone besides an infant.
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littlemommy 01:09 PM 08-16-2011
I'm also not a fan. I have an 11 month old DCB who comes with the plug in his mouth every day. He doesn't even suck on it, just chews on it. When he crawls around, it drags on the floor because mom clips it to his shirt.

When she picks him up, she freaks out and it's the first thing she asks about. I've told her he doesn't use it here. She says "yeah, he doesn't use it at home much either," but as soon as she gets here she sticks it in his mouth. She'll also freak out if there is fuzz or a hair on it. Sorry, if it's dragging from him when he's crawling around I"m not going to clean it every second.

It now gets put in the bag as soon as mom walks out.
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MamaJ 01:27 PM 08-16-2011
Originally Posted by :
What does binky teeth look like?
in the case of my DCG...her front teeth are pushed out, and her bottom teeth are pushed in towards her tongue.

it makes it hard for her to bite anything (she has to bite with the side of her teeth, and to chew properly.
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SandeeAR 05:02 PM 08-16-2011
I have taken all my babies off of the binky between 12-18 months. I weaned them before the parents did. I also have them out of the crib/pak-n-play and into a toddler bed before the parents.
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cheerfuldom 08:35 PM 08-16-2011
My daycare kids are off it by 2 years old. The only issue I ever had was one child that was so addicted to it that she was spending a good part of each day crying, digging through any diaper bag she could find, asking for it ALL day....you get the idea. She was 2 and this is the reason why I started the 2 year old rule. I had her off it completely for weeks and then mom and dad gave it back at home and that ramped up the craziness here. I told them they had to take away the binky at home or find another daycare that would let her have it all day because I wouldn't (plus she previously was fine without it!). They took it away and she was totally fine within a few days. One of the few times that I really was firm about what a parent was doing at home because it was really alarming how addicted this child was. Same parents that dragged the bottle out forever, had numerous lovey items for her in addition to the binky, they just handed her something all the time instead of actually meeting her needs.
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cheerfuldom 08:37 PM 08-16-2011
oh and my second daughter just turned 2 and we are taking her binky away over the 3 day weekend coming up. She only has it for naps and bedtime. There's going to be crying though for sure and hopefully the 3 days is enough so she's not waking up all the daycare kids come day 4.
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MamaJ 04:00 AM 08-17-2011
for those trying to get rid of the paci for older kids...try the binky fairy! worked fabulous when I had my son get rid of his.

we wrapped all the leftover binkies up as a present for another little boy and put it on the front porch at night for the binky fairy to take. the fairy then left a new big boy present on the porch for him to find in the morning as a surprise. he only asked me to call the binky fairy a couple of times...haha.

or you can tie them to balloons and let them go...

just an easier way to do it besides just taking it away without them understanding why and thinking you are just mean, mean mommy.
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MommyMuffin 05:39 AM 08-17-2011
I tried something similar to the fairy and she screamed and cried. "The fairy took my nukky." Just last night she cried for an hour because she couldnt have her nuk. Then last night I was up with our 7 week old and our DD was screaming in the middle of the night for her nuk. My husband caved in and gave it to her.

I dont mean to thread hyjack but it is so difficult. I dont want her to just cry for hours but no amount of coaxing, gifts, sterness is working. I tried cutting the tip too and she just said its broken. Then instead of cryin and screaming the the nuky fairy took it she just hollered on about it being broken.
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shana 06:04 AM 08-17-2011
some kids need these comfort items until they are older and is it worth it just because you think u know best about what age is too old...kids who have these things taken away before they are ready have other issues when they are school aged. no one takes paci or diapers to college with them so let them have what they need while they are small!!!
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Cat Herder 06:13 AM 08-17-2011
I don't allow pacifers here. (temporary medical/prematurity issues ONLY)

I don't do adult care. Pacifiers are a parental issue....not a child issue.
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KEG123 09:19 AM 08-17-2011
So far I've not allowed my kids (2.5) to have binkies at nap time (or at all for that matter). Their mom showed up directly after nap one time and was like "WHAT? They don't have their binkies??" I didn't even know at that point they took binkies at nap time.
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cheerfuldom 09:44 AM 08-17-2011
I don't do binky fairy or anything like that, I show my girls that we don't do binkies anymore and throw them in the trash right in front of them. Then they just have a few tough days learning some new coping skills and thats that. 2 years is plenty and at 12 months we wean down to naps and bedtime only. I am not one to do anything gimmicky or lie to the kid. The fairy didn't take them and there is no other baby out there using them....we threw them away because you are a big girl and you aren't getting those anymore. Plus throwing ALL them away forces me and dad to not sneak them back in a moment of desperation
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Zoe 09:49 AM 08-17-2011
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Plus throwing ALL them away forces me and dad to not sneak them back in a moment of desperation
That was me with my DS. I used it when I couldn't take the crying anymore, so I was forced to just throw the darn things away and deal with it. It's tough sometimes but it worked out after a couple of days. He wasn't even sucking on it anymore, just having it in his mouth.
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Sunshine44 11:11 AM 08-17-2011
The parents probably will not get rid of it until a doctor tells them to, and even then, you may see them not care. I've had a few of these cases. In all honesty, I just take it away here. After two days they are fine. I do not let them sleep with it also. If their parents want them to have it, too bad. Find different care.
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Sunshine44 11:13 AM 08-17-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
I don't allow pacifers here. (temporary medical/prematurity issues ONLY)

I don't do adult care. Pacifiers are a parental issue....not a child issue.
EXACTLY, they are a parental issue, not child issue! If the parent would just deal with their child and let them cry a bit all would be fine. This is a pet peeve of mine.
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Sunshine44 11:23 AM 08-17-2011
I find it odd that anyone over 9mo old has a pacifier. I also hate the pet names for it such as binky, nukky and such. Sorry, just my opinion. Same for bottles. The day you turn 1, the bottle is gone and by then I've already been weaning you. Kids need to learn early on to be off of these things. The longer you let them have it, the harder it is to wean. Same with sleep training imo. As you can tell, I am not one for coddling.
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jojosmommy 11:25 AM 08-17-2011
I dont allow them after 18 months and wean dcks off them at the first chance I can. I have an 15 month old who gets one the instant she is with mom/dad but hasnt had one here since she was 9 months. She stopped taking it at nap (throwing it out of crib) so I stopped giving it. Mom and day know she doesnt get it here and they are still always asking if she "needs" it.

My son had one until 18 months mostly at nap/night and he never fussed when we got rid of it. I didn't want him sucking his thumb so I figured this was a better alternative.
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SandeeAR 11:32 AM 08-17-2011
When my now 27 y/o, was past needing to be rid of the passy, I let her do it. She was pushing two at the time. It was when Pound Puppies and Kitties had just come out. She really wanted a Pound Kitty. I took her to Kmart and let her pick one out. She rode in the buggy and carried it the whole time, very happy. I explained to her several times, that when we got home, she had to go get all her passies and throw them in the trash and she could have the kitty.

Well, we get home and of course, she really isn;t ready to throw them out. I said ok, I put the kitty on a shelf in the den where she could see it all night. Each time she ask for it, I told her go get your passy and throw them away. Girls big enough for a Pound Kitty are too big for a passy.

Bedtime comes,still has the passy. Next day, right after breakfast, she went and got 3 of the five I knew were in the house. And told me she was ready to throw them away. I said ok, there's the trash. She went and thru them away. I gave her the Kitty, went and found the other two and threw them out too.

She never looked back.
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SimpleMom 11:38 AM 08-17-2011
I would let them have it at naptime---if they request it and when upset if needed. If that's what they do at home. It doesn't bother me. I just don't like to have them run around with it all day as it tends to get lost and/or other kiddos tend to put it in their mouths.
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Tags:binky, comforting, naptime - comfort dolls & blankets, pacifier, pacifier issues, sleep
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