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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Is This Tacky?
Shell 08:11 AM 12-05-2014
My ds goes to preschool 2 days a week, only a few hours a day. For Christmas, I decided to get each of his 2 teachers a $50 gift card to Target. I debated how much to spend, but figured the teachers only get a fraction of what the centers make, and it would be nice to give them a generous gift (though some might give more or give less). Anyway, I haven't given them out yet, but received a list today from the school with the teacher's favorite restaurants, stores,colors, etc. Fortunately, target was on the list. But, I couldn't help thinking it was a little tacky to assume a gift was going to be given from each child. I know they mean to be helpful, so I'm not seriously offended or anything Then, I got to thinking, how would my dc families like it if I did the same for them? I doubt they would care for it. Thoughts?
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craftymissbeth 08:15 AM 12-05-2014
Yes, I think that's tacky. I'm sitting here imagining writing out a list of all my favorite things for my clients

I'm just... .... why would they think that was a good idea? I'm seriously perplexed


ETA:

Miss Beth's favorite color is orange and she loves Diet Coke. She also likes iTunes, Wal-Mart, and Amazon.

Geez.. so bizarre.
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midaycare 08:25 AM 12-05-2014
Very tacky. You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit. It applies to adults, too.
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Thriftylady 08:26 AM 12-05-2014
I guess it depends how you look at it. I mean maybe people ask so they have found that works? If they are assuming each child will send a gift it is tacky.
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butterfly 08:30 AM 12-05-2014
I think it would be great! - IF one of the parents took the initiative to have the teachers fill it out and then it was sent out from the parent.

When my kids were in preschool one of the parents took up a collection to get the teachers something they could actually use (gift card to favorite place). It made shopping so much easier as a parent and then the teacher didn't get a bunch of trinkety stuff they didn't really need or want.

However, I agree with "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit".
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Controlled Chaos 08:35 AM 12-05-2014
I am going with super tacky.

A parent texted me asking what type of wine I like... but I would never send home a shopping list of present suggestions. I would look like a caffeine overloaded alcoholic
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Meyou 08:57 AM 12-05-2014
So tacky! In fact so tacky for me I would probably do something not on the list on purpose.
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Unregistered 09:00 AM 12-05-2014
Very tacky! If my dds teacher sent home something like that all she would be getting is a tacky coffee mug lol
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daycarediva 09:24 AM 12-05-2014
ridiculously tacky!
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Cat Herder 09:26 AM 12-05-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Very tacky! If my dds teacher sent home something like that all she would be getting is a tacky coffee mug lol
wait.....

Show of hands, how many daycare providers get "tacky" coffee mugs (or reindeer plates) every year?

I thought it was just a "thing" or something... like "ugly" Christmas sweaters

.... must. rethink. everything.....
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lovemykidstoo 09:27 AM 12-05-2014
Agreed, super tacky.
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Leigh 09:32 AM 12-05-2014
Maybe we should just invoice our clients:

Christmas bonus: $250.00 payable in cash or Target gift card. Please remit by Dec. 15th.


While it IS helpful to get that list, both for the parents and the teachers who usually don't want another coffee mug or bottle of scented lotion, it is extremely tacky to basically ASK for a gift.
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sharlan 09:36 AM 12-05-2014
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
wait.....

Show of hands, how many daycare providers get "tacky" coffee mugs (or reindeer plates) every year?

I thought it was just a "thing" or something... like "ugly" Christmas sweaters

.... must. rethink. everything.....
Hey, I'd be thrilled to get a tacky coffee mug, even though I don't drink coffee.
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Laurel 09:52 AM 12-05-2014
Originally Posted by Shell:
My ds goes to preschool 2 days a week, only a few hours a day. For Christmas, I decided to get each of his 2 teachers a $50 gift card to Target. I debated how much to spend, but figured the teachers only get a fraction of what the centers make, and it would be nice to give them a generous gift (though some might give more or give less). Anyway, I haven't given them out yet, but received a list today from the school with the teacher's favorite restaurants, stores,colors, etc. Fortunately, target was on the list. But, I couldn't help thinking it was a little tacky to assume a gift was going to be given from each child. I know they mean to be helpful, so I'm not seriously offended or anything Then, I got to thinking, how would my dc families like it if I did the same for them? I doubt they would care for it. Thoughts?
Beyond tacky.

That said, many times I had been a room mother and thought of asking for donations instead of a gift to buy her something she could use. For some reason I couldn't though. It just didn't seem quite right to me.

Laurel
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earlystart 09:56 AM 12-05-2014
I don't think it's tacky, because it's not the teacher's idea to give you the list, it is the school's idea, and often they have the appointed "classroom parent representatives" do these types of things. So it's absolutely not the same as us giving our clients a wish list, which would in fact be tacky.
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melilley 10:02 AM 12-05-2014
I could maybe see if they had a list handy in case parents ask, but to just give parents a list, tacky.
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midaycare 10:21 AM 12-05-2014
Originally Posted by earlystart:
I don't think it's tacky, because it's not the teacher's idea to give you the list, it is the school's idea, and often they have the appointed "classroom parent representatives" do these types of things. So it's absolutely not the same as us giving our clients a wish list, which would in fact be tacky.
Don't teachers see everything that go in backpacks? My ds's does. I suppose an aide could pull one over on her, but wouldn't their be a note attached like, "Shhhh... Don't tell the teachers but we have secretly asked all of their favourite stores ..."
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Josiegirl 10:22 AM 12-05-2014
Totally tacky IMO
The only way something even remotely like that would not be tacky is if an establishment were to send home a notice stating 'in lieu of buying presents for the holidays, please consider a donation of a game, book, or toy for the children to enjoy'. I know this is supposed to be for the teachers there but maybe a conversation before the holidays would be appropriate. Otherwise, I truly believe nobody should send home a list like that.
1) It's basically asking for gifts or making you feel gifts are expected.
2) It's implying any other gift wouldn't be appreciated or needed as much.
3) A gift is just that, a gift. It's given from the giver's heart, without rules and expectations.

JMO
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Laurel 11:18 AM 12-05-2014
Originally Posted by earlystart:
I don't think it's tacky, because it's not the teacher's idea to give you the list, it is the school's idea, and often they have the appointed "classroom parent representatives" do these types of things. So it's absolutely not the same as us giving our clients a wish list, which would in fact be tacky.
In that case it is tacky of the school to do it in my opinion.

Laurel
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hope 11:36 AM 12-05-2014
I teach my children to never ask for anything unless it is a need like water, bathroom. It's crazy that adults don't understand how this is rude also.

My one difficult dcm puts my weekly pay for the week i have off paid to me (which is clearly stated in my contract) in a card each year and hands it to me as a present. I feel like its like getting a toothbrush as a kid on Christmas morning. She is supposed to pay for that week off. It is not a gift to me.
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Thriftylady 11:38 AM 12-05-2014
Originally Posted by sharlan:
Hey, I'd be thrilled to get a tacky coffee mug, even though I don't drink coffee.
Well I do drink coffee, and I have broken most of my favorite mugs, I could use a new one or two lol.

But I am still thinking the school compiled this list. Not that the teachers are complaining I am sure.
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Josiegirl 02:44 PM 12-05-2014
Originally Posted by hope:
I teach my children to never ask for anything unless it is a need like water, bathroom. It's crazy that adults don't understand how this is rude also.

My one difficult dcm puts my weekly pay for the week i have off paid to me (which is clearly stated in my contract) in a card each year and hands it to me as a present. I feel like its like getting a toothbrush as a kid on Christmas morning. She is supposed to pay for that week off. It is not a gift to me.
See, I was brought up that way too! Always knock before going into someone's home, never ask for anything or to borrow anything, never walk on somebody's grass, always say thank you for a kind gesture or gift no matter what(well except for your payment in a Christmas card) Lol
Maybe it's becoming old-fashioned thinking to some but I taught my kids those same principles.
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Kabob 09:29 PM 12-05-2014
What if they wrote letters to Santa and posted them for the parents to see? I mean...it's not like they don't get Santa letters from their kids....why not their daycare providers?

Dear Santa,

I would like a new set of pots and pans to cook all the healthy and delicious meals I make for the children. I also would like new carpeting or flooring to replace my well worn carpet...especially on my steps from little feet coming and going. And if it isn't too much to ask, I would love a new set of children's books to replace the ones that have been worn or torn apart from being read or played with too roughly so I can continue to be the bestest story teller ever.

Thanks!
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Hunni Bee 10:57 AM 12-08-2014
We do that ....

But it's not given out. Its in a book called "Get to know your teachers" or something, and the parents can use it as a reference. Plus we use it for our Secret Santa. It doesn't just say "I like these stores" but our fave desserts, scents, colors, movies, etc.

I see no point in giving people gifts they aren't going to use, so I don't think its tacky. No ones obligated to buy anything.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 11:09 AM 12-08-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
Yes, I think that's tacky. I'm sitting here imagining writing out a list of all my favorite things for my clients

I'm just... .... why would they think that was a good idea? I'm seriously perplexed


ETA:

Miss Beth's favorite color is orange and she loves Diet Coke. She also likes iTunes, Wal-Mart, and Amazon.

Geez.. so bizarre.
I agree!

The only time I wrote a similar list was when one of my clients ASKED ME FOR IT and she supplied the list for me to fill in!
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EntropyControlSpecialist 11:10 AM 12-08-2014
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
wait.....

Show of hands, how many daycare providers get "tacky" coffee mugs (or reindeer plates) every year?

I thought it was just a "thing" or something... like "ugly" Christmas sweaters

.... must. rethink. everything.....
Never have before!
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EntropyControlSpecialist 11:11 AM 12-08-2014
Originally Posted by hope:
I teach my children to never ask for anything unless it is a need like water, bathroom. It's crazy that adults don't understand how this is rude also.

My one difficult dcm puts my weekly pay for the week i have off paid to me (which is clearly stated in my contract) in a card each year and hands it to me as a present. I feel like its like getting a toothbrush as a kid on Christmas morning. She is supposed to pay for that week off. It is not a gift to me.
Whaaat? I would say, "Please include it in your regular tuition payment as that is what it is. THANKS."
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KiddieCahoots 11:32 AM 12-08-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
What if they wrote letters to Santa and posted them for the parents to see? I mean...it's not like they don't get Santa letters from their kids....why not their daycare providers?

Dear Santa,

I would like a new set of pots and pans to cook all the healthy and delicious meals I make for the children. I also would like new carpeting or flooring to replace my well worn carpet...especially on my steps from little feet coming and going. And if it isn't too much to ask, I would love a new set of children's books to replace the ones that have been worn or torn apart from being read or played with too roughly so I can continue to be the bestest story teller ever.

Thanks!
......I'm game! ..........

And what's wrong with toothbrushes in your stocking!? A healthy smile is a happy smile .......
Santa still brings toothbrushes for us here ..........
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DaveA 12:18 PM 12-08-2014
I can see how it comes across as tacky, but I can also see how a center would send it out. One center I was at had a very active parent group. They asked for a very similar list from all teachers for Christmas, birthdays, and teacher appreciation week. All the parents got the lists every year.

As for "tacky gifts", sometimes those are the most fun. When I worked at my Mom's center tins of popcorn were the "in" gift. I got 23 of them.
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sugar buzz 12:29 PM 12-08-2014
Originally Posted by DaveArmour:
I can see how it comes across as tacky, but I can also see how a center would send it out. One center I was at had a very active parent group. They asked for a very similar list from all teachers for Christmas, birthdays, and teacher appreciation week. All the parents got the lists every year.

As for "tacky gifts", sometimes those are the most fun. When I worked at my Mom's center tins of popcorn were the "in" gift. I got 23 of them.
Those popcorn tins are like nap-time crack to me! My youngest always picks out the tackiest gifts for her teachers. This year, she's been eyeing a snow-globe. It's chosen with such pride and love, though. I always throw in an apologetic gift card, but sometimes those coffee mugs are far from an after-thought...I swear!!!
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spinnymarie 02:37 PM 12-08-2014
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Totally tacky IMO
The only way something even remotely like that would not be tacky is if an establishment were to send home a notice stating 'in lieu of buying presents for the holidays, please consider a donation of a game, book, or toy for the children to enjoy'. I know this is supposed to be for the teachers there but maybe a conversation before the holidays would be appropriate. Otherwise, I truly believe nobody should send home a list like that.
1) It's basically asking for gifts or making you feel gifts are expected.
2) It's implying any other gift wouldn't be appreciated or needed as much.
3) A gift is just that, a gift. It's given from the giver's heart, without rules and expectations.

JMO

Reply
Tags:christmas, christmas - gift exchange, tacky
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