Hi everyone!

I have a new child, almost 1 year old. (here 3 weeks). She is with me Monday and Tuesday and with her aunt the rest of the week. She is an easy going child . . . as long as she is being held. When I put her down to make lunch, change diapers, pick up toys . . . she doesn't cry, she lets out this ungodly shreek that sounds like a cheerleader being chased around the lake cabin by a guy in a mask and a chain saw. We're talking B movie, someone is hacking off your body parts sort of scream. K, now take that image, and amplify it as only a toddler can do!

I have talked to her mom about it. She laughed and said that they called it her DCF scream. Yeah, for sure! Not only does it get the rest of the kids crying as well as make me nuts, but my neighbors have started peaking out their windows when she does it in the yard. When she does it, I pick her up and she stops immediately. I know that I should just let her scream so she understands that she can't get what she wants everytime she does it, but I don't need the neighbors thinking this child is being abused. I have tried everything I can think of . . . from ignoring the behavior to keeping having physical contact with her even if I am not holding her, talking quietly . . . mom thinks its funny. It's disturbing our calm and happy atmosphere and I am at the point of asking her to leave if I can't find another way to deal with this. Suggestions would be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO appreciated!

Thanks

Shell

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You said you know what to do, as awful as it is, let her scream. There is a thread on here titled "What to do"... https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8340 Read it for advice...

You said the child was new, do you have a trial period for you and your parents? I'd say if it doesn't get better in a few weeks, then maybe she isn't meant to be there. Just my .02

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I just let a 6 month old and his older brother go for just this reason. The 6 month old screamed like he was being attacked every time he wasn't being held by ME. My helper didn't cut it for him and neither did my teenage dd who helps out after school. His older brother was just as bad throwing 1.5 to 2 hour tantrums daily over simple rules such as eating at the table or no tv on during the day.

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Letting her scream is what you might have to do. But keep in mind that if her parents and aunt always give in to her, then it's going to be a big up hill battle. If you want to keep her, then I'd work on it and talk to mom about it again. If you really don't want to deal with it, I think how you've explained it here, would be a good way to tell mom they're being let go. If you do keep her, you might want to mention something to the neighbors that you have a screamer. Dd is 9 months old and she screams instead of cries. As soon as we took the storm windows off and put the screens on, I told the neighbors about her scream and reassured them that we aren't hurting her or anything like that. They thought it was funny, but her cry is right up there with the DCF one and I just felt better saying something.

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As harsh as it sounds, I'd put the little screamer in a playpen or crib for a while and see what happens.....eventually, the kid will realize that it's not going to work with you.....but then again, the kid already knows it's going to work with you, so it may be too late already.

If all else fails, I'd be blunt with the mother-If this doesn't stop, you're going to have to find a new daycare provider, I cannot care for a child that is this disruptive.

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Isn't it great the way some kids go through television with-drawl? Most of the kids get over it pretty quickly because they don't even see a television, but I've had a few that kind of surprised me. One 3 year old just talked about nothing else, he obsessed about the shows he liked, what he watched the previous evening, and what he planned on watching when he left our home. We have an older one (7) who probably would have thrown fits when he was younger, but now he just mopes around and gripes about it, so much that some of the other kids have asked what's wrong with him. We have movie Friday every once in awhile but sometimes I feel like I'm just knocking them off the wagon.


As for the screamer, mom's probably nervous that you are going to ask her to leave, which is probably what you're going to have to do. Unless she's willing to pay you for all the children you're bound to loose because the other kids get all twitchy from the screaming.

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We had a number of years ago. This mother came in with her daughter. She said all day long this child (2 years old) would be put in a crib. On this child's first day, the mother gave us explicit instructions NOT to put her in a crib. We told her that no she would be put on a mat for nap etc. Anyway this child screamed and screamed and SCREAMED. She didn't want to be held. She didn't want any comfort.

Well the mother called a few minutes later to check up on her. I happened to answer and she heard her in the background. She asked me point blank, "is that her screaming?" I said "no, she is not screaming" (she was!) "she is just upset" I explained further that we had myself (I was the Assistant Director) and the director and her normal caregiver trying to give her comfort.

Again she stressed don't put her in a crib. And again she asked me "is that her screaming" AGAIN I said "no shes just upset because you left, she will calm down." Mother said more strongly " DONT PUT HER IN A CRIB!"

Anyway I got back into the room and the Director said, hey for the heck of it lets put her in a crib. Sure enough, we did and she was FINE. She stopped crying and she calmed down.

Come to find out later, this little girl had NEVER been with a provider before. Turns out that the mother was a stay at home who happened to just cage up her daughter all day because she didn't want her around.

Every time I hear about a child that has a rough start, and most of them do, but I think back to that little girl.

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muzzle. earplugs. No, kidding. really, there is nothing you can do. How long has she been doing this? I am positive, she will stop. Sorry.

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